God Facebook Page - Search FB Posts - Page 8
- God - Official FB PageCategory: Comedian Likes: 774552 Talking About: 789534About: Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheGoodGodAbove YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/stuffgodhates
- What the hell, America? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-18T18:40:27+0000)
God: What the hell, America?Comments:
nick smith - Would showing a woman's hair be porn in iraq?
jason deatherage - priority's this guys has them.
joshua corvinus - I support porn for all people of all nations and all genders!
roberto florencio - lets trade them oil for it!
טל לוי - it's very ironic when god says "what the hell"...
josh velasquez - That's what happen when you make women look like shopping ninjas
chris powell - It's our American duty to spread the booty.
north fall - See, this is why the Taliban blows shit up. Give them the porn.
tyler pullano - Looks like it's time to start a "relief" fund!
brandy richmond - Eh. I say let them make their own. We have to take care of our country first. Go get your own porn, Iraq.
tom richardsen - I smell a vile stench of photoshop ;)
tripp rademacher - Getting off makes everyone feel better. When people feel good, they are calm. Give them porn, all mighty God of the Facebook! Then everyone everywhere can have porn, get off, and be calm. World peace.
jill baker wacka - Whether the US does porn well is a matter of opinion. Still sexiest as hell, geared toward men's satisfaction, with the expectation that women are just a vehicle toward men's enjoyment. What is depicted is a women reaching orgasm just by a man entering her. Ridiculous! I can hear the argument know, porn is viewed mostly by men, so this is what is portrayed... The problem, beside the obvious, is that regular men have sex with real women. You see the problem?
agata gajda - Prince having no idea what he's doing.
melissa flam - To further boost their high regard of women.
alex j. martinez - The 2 things America's good at, Porn and Diabetes
adam charney - I think he meant "corn". They're having a hard time with agriculture over there.
tríona carroll - I want non-masochist (non-50 Shades of Grey) Porn for WOMEN !! :P
moses horowitz - We should give Iraq booze, porn and television, and lots of it. Worded wonders on the USA, after all.
daniel san - Cmon. At least give them porn. And the good stuff not that late night skinemax bull.
heather shoven - One step at a time dudes. Let your ladies show their ankles first!
- AND NOW the answers to ASK GOD:
1. HUMAN: Why did you create Justin Bieber?
GOD: Millions an (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-18T02:10:15+0000)
God: AND NOW the answers to ASK GOD: 1. HUMAN: Why did you create Justin Bieber? GOD: Millions and millions of teenage girls have to worship someone. What are they gonna do, fall in love with the boy next door? HAH! He’s not even famous! 2. HUMAN: Is there a Mrs. God? GOD: No. There used to be but we got a divorce. Um…just for the record…this all definitely happened a long time before I banged Mary. 3. HUMAN: Will anyone ever invent vibrating tampons so I really can have a happy period? GOD: No. Humans keep trying to invent this, but I keep stopping them. Periods are not to be trifled with. THUS SAYETH THE LORD. 4. HUMAN: are you friends with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? GOD: No. The Pasta Monster is My enemy. He’s an up and comer on the deity stage and has started to peel off My Followers. I have sworn to catch and eat the pasta monster. I even put out a reward for it’s capture of TEN GAJILLION SPACE BUCKS. 5. HUMAN: Have you ever drunk dialed Mary? If so, how pissed off does Joseph get? GOD: Of course, it’s happens all the time. I get drunk and we have lots and lots of phone sex. Joseph never says anything but I know he listens. I can hear him breathing. 6. HUMAN: If you remove a pin of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? By the way, I kind of need a quick answer for this question. GOD: No, you should throw it somewhere. Anywhere is fine, just so long as it’s no longer in your hand. By the way, I know it took the LORD ten hours to answer your question and you are now dead. But at least you got an answer! 7. HUMAN: Dear God, do you ever regret killing off the dinosaurs? Wouldn't it have been amusing watching us go about our day to day lives periodically getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex? GOD: Yes, I do regret that. I think watching a scumbag lawyer run from a hungry T-Rex while on his way to work would be extremely entertaining. Maybe I should send a few dinosaurs back to Earth. I’ll put it on the to-do list for next week.Comments:
javier zúñiga salas - Take Beiber, return dinosaurs!
max resto - as a devout pastafarian, i find it offensive that you consider his cosmic noodliness your enemy. not cool, god. not cool!
candace arianne jennings - God, if you made man in your own image, why are people not invisible?
amapola lem - God, when you drunk dial Mary, and Joseph walks in on her speaking w you, do you tell her to tell him its "Jake, from StateFarm"??
melissa dobbs - That's not Joseph listening, its the NSA.
r rhqeem joseph - This is the funniest thing I've ever seen
jesse george jauregar - God, I hate to debunk you on question number six, but as an ex-Navy Gunners Mate...
It is possible to put the pin back in a grenade as the device is still safe so long as the spoon is held tight to the body of the weapon. If the original pin cannot be located, and this came from one of my Chiefs, use a paperclip.
marisa ramirez - Why is "God" always referred to as a "male" entity? Isn't "God" whatever we perceive "God" to be? In that case, my god makes vibrating tampons, is neither male nor female, and allows dinosaurs to roam the earth so I can ride a Velociraptor while eating ice-cream and chasing misogynists and child/animal abusers with my trained ninja T-Rex.
martha mantikoski - Dear God: Dinosaurs are not extinct. E.g. Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, Marcus Bachman... Et al. Homophobiass erectus sanctibalonium.
joe azathoth - Take bieber, return James Dio.
cooper brennan - Michelle mulligan have you ever heard of the Crusades? You idiot
barry black - "God put dinosaurs on this earth to test your faith" ~ Sarah Palin quote.
brian devonshire - And the LORD sayeth "SHOO!"
Thus, dinosaurs were no more
-- Sagan 42:0
matteo turner - "But the path was blocked by a giant brontosaurus with a splinter in his paw, and O the disciples did run a shrieking 'What a big fucking lizard, lord.' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus' paw and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousand of American tourists and their fat, fucking families and their fat, fucking American dollar bills. And Scotland did praise the lord, 'Thank you lord, Thank you lord, Thank you lord.'"--Bill Hicks
chris horrox - Silly sandy, if you don't like it, piss off!
jerry t. christ (twin brother of jesus h.) - I remember having to pose for this picture because Jesus was too scared to get close to the dinosaur.lol It was also His first attempt at making a rainbow and it was a total FAIL. It was actually My idea to add 4 more colors!
mary hayes - God: Do you mind if I take all of your 'Mary' references personally? It would make me smile and maybe giggle a little bit.
patrick jones - If dinosaurs actually come back that means that there really is a God and that he really does own a Facebook page
jim sweeney - Scumbag lawyers huh. Hey god, who handled your divorce ?
eirinn elsbeth - Bringing back the dinos would THRILL my little girl. Sacrificing Beiber to see it happens would thrill ME.
razieme iborra - i'm going to laugh at all the assholes who have accused God of not being real because of this facebook page when the dinosaurs come back next week .
- It's ASK GOD WEDNESDAY! Post a comment with any question for the LORD.
I'll answer the top 7 (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-17T17:21:04+0000)
God: It's ASK GOD WEDNESDAY! Post a comment with any question for the LORD.
I'll answer the top 7 questions tonight!Comments:
shelbey stargazer stanton - Why did you create Justin Bieber?
nina koskivaara - Is there a Mrs. God?
joanne gill - Will anyone ever invent vibrating tampons so I really can have a happy period?
derek gad - God, are you friends with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
jack wixom iii - Have you ever drunk dialed Mary? If so, how pissed off does Joseph get?
mike zhang - if a brown man killed a black man and everyone is mad at the white man, why are they rioting and looting the yellow mans stores?
andrew white - How many pieces of wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
john smith - How does a blind man know when he's done wiping his ass?
oliver rouse - Why do we call it cookies and bacon when we cook bacon but bake cookies?
amanda castreje - If you remove a pin of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? By the way, I kind of need a quick answer for this question.
steven hanson - God, if you're the source of truth, it logically follows that you cannot lie. Does that mean you like big butts?
gary hamilton - I've a tattoo of the periodic table on my back. Should I be worried that more anthracites and lanthanides will be discovered?
mitch zen obi - Dear God, do you ever regret killing off the dinosaurs? Wouldn't it have been amusing watching us go about our day to day lives periodically getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
carl dean cox - In Monopoly, is it okay to sell the "Get Out of Jail Free" card to another player?
joi lin ure olsen - Do animals (besides humans) pray to You? If so, what do they pray for?
jake burrell - How did Jesus find people called Matthew and James in the Middle East?
sally 'sly' roediger - You still haven't told me why I have not yet received that pony I prayed for 45 years ago.
darby flynn keith - Do you ever beg humans for their forgiveness at the pearly gates for all the bullshit you put us through in life?
anthony spears - I know you could walk on water, but can you walk on 15 shots of tequila?
christopher adams - Why did you make those "banana strings" .... when you peel the banana, those extra things flop there. We all just pull them off anyway. No one eats them.
karo hdez - is the Hokey Pokey really what it is ALL about?
- The winner of SMITE TUESDAY is the state of Florida.
Florida is the worst state in the USA.
(Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-17T00:29:41+0000)
God: The winner of SMITE TUESDAY is the state of Florida. Florida is the worst state in the USA. SMITE!Comments:
devin humburg - Ehh, I still think Texas probably holds that title
patrick joseph mcmahon - Somewhere in Texas an asshole took that as a personal challenge
eddie kulczyk - Yeah I guess if you get your head bashed in you should just take it
blake detore - I live here and it really is complete shit
john blaszczyk - Yeah this used to be a funny and clever page. Now it's all 100% liberal BS.
eliar mayorga - goddammit lord. As a Floridian I would have to agree with you, but at least at some point all the old geezers that make the stupid rules will be playing shuffle board up in your magical kingdom someday and us real Floridians can get back to what makes our state the shit. Spring break, great baseball and loose whores.
chad r carpenter - Gotta disagree god. They got something right this time.
zachary tye janów - Dude. Texas banned tampons in the state capitol. They still win the prize.
sharon bean - god, im a big fan. but um, the legal system doesnt include emotions, so yeah, many of us think it sucks. but then there's the whole preponderance of evidence, rule of law, burden of proof and that whole 'reasonable doubt' thing. let's also factor in that crazy idea that our media, generally, SUCKS ASS and is fully and completely corporatized....
matthew schmidt - You obviously haven't been to NC.
sean fleisher - God, how do you hate this beautiful state? It is, after all, your waiting room, is it not?
amber dulaney - Thank you for specifying that it's the government here that sucks...because you know there's a LOT of regular citizens like myself who are disgusted with what's been going on in Florida <3
michael angelo shanks - Mississippi: *clears throat*
freddy rodriguez - FB God was funny until he/she/it got all political. I don't care about the Right or the Left. This was much better when the religious stuff was on. Extreme Left is just as bad as Extreme Right. Stop being a dickwad.
andrew mccollum - Just when I thought this page couldn't make a full retard post.
melissa garcia - I was born and raised in South Florida, and I approve of this message.
maude porter - As much as I hate Zimmerman, you have to be PROVEN guilty... If there isn't enough evidence, even for one juror, they have to say "not guilty", and that is to the charges that are being brought up.
claude veevers - George Zimmerman was innocent. The media has made fools out of all of you. YOU CAN'T FLIM FLAM THE ZIM MAN.
kevin jewell - Running neck and neck, but Florida did put Bush into the white house!
brandon holzwarth - Gotta call bullshit with god on this one. Sad to see even got got caught up with the media hype and not actually checking out the trial.
jennifer stanton - Texas is a close second.
- The Divine Brain hurts from all the stupid. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-16T19:45:38+0000)
God: The Divine Brain hurts from all the stupid.Comments:
david allen clark - Dear God; Are you building some of these humans out of spare parts or leftovers? Isn't there some kind of warranty you provide if they're defective like this?
ryan templeman - Billy Madison reference! 1000 pts
srijan tiwari - You are a cool GOD
aaron lynch - God, why do you allow people like this to continue to procreate? My guess is this guy has multiple children.
jan brunnström - English. Does he speak it?
nicholas hill - You created him, God. You deal with him.
chris bowers - Some people drunk text. This guy apparently trolls while he's having a stroke...
alastair powell - It's true! I was once arrested for clowning a liberal and not accepting the sheep or something... And now its on my permanent record :(
erkka mykkänen - Actually, I think this guy is right on the money. I too subscribe to the notion that the Santa Clause of Clown Liberals hate the sheep for the magic ritual of I Am Going to Fuck It.
jillian fancypants marie - As a reminder, this year's #iamgonnafuckit Magic Ritual will be BYOB.
scott hohauser - Bath Salts is a hell of a drug.
scott gregg - Your own fault...you made him...
terri yancy - No, I'm afraid there isn't any law that says "If you clown liberals they must give you the sheep for the iamgonnafuckit magic ritual". Not that I know what the hell that means. But if there were such a law, it would be on the books in Mississippi.
shelly fleschute - "I support the death penalty and I hate abortion." Huh, guess it is all about the timing...
samantha grace randolph - "I hate abortion" Says the human being with a dick who could never be pregnant, stupid fucker, you have no say or opinion in that "run".
benjamin campbell - I think he may be having a stroke.
teresa sherron - maybe he meant 'claws' because he is half-man, half-lobster?
stephen moon gierat - Think mr Echols is a good argument for abortion and the death penalty :)
rachel sherman - Definitely swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool..
jacob osborn - several of my brain cells just committed suicide..
stephen tkacs - So, you see, the puppy was like industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially the little boy - "society" - knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.
- It's SMITE TUESDAY! Post a comment with the person, place or thing you want smote.
I'll post (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-16T16:11:53+0000)
God: It's SMITE TUESDAY! Post a comment with the person, place or thing you want smote.
I'll post the winner tonight! SMITE!Comments:
leadfoot lizzie - you could begin with Florida
vika soni - Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman
kat findlay - Smite the 3 boys who raped Rehtaeh Parsons, bullied her over several year until she eventually committed suicide, and now are whining in articles that they are the victims. Happened in Nova Scotia Canada. She's on this months cover of people magazine in the US
jared johnson - Those who attempt to divide the country along racial lines.
bill mullinax - Ann Coulter's house (for MANY reasons, but in particular for shouting 'Hallelujah' when Zimmerman's verdict was announced).
anneliese m. good - Seriously guys..
It seems kind of silly to me that so many people are commenting about Zimmerman when there was a grave injustice done to all the women in Texas on the same day.
Smite those assholes who pushed through the anti-abortion law in Texas
anne puckett - smite cancer, for Talia (you took her this morning, you greedy bastard! so smite that shit cancer)
emily hartman - Smite the parents that kick their children out upon finding out theyre gay.
d.j. moffett - Easy, George Zimmerman.
justin perry - Whoever the idiots are that raised interest on student loans. I'm only 22 and am 40,000 in debt, (not counting my 27,000 dollar medical bill) us as college students r usually broke. I wasn't born with the luxury of rich parents and its hard to work, although I'm trying, between school and not having a car.. I don't even expect to make 40,000 my first year after school! We are going.to better ourselves and make money and have a bright future.. how are u gonna take more money when we are actually doing somethin but you'll be glad to hand the deadbeats $1,000 a month to sit on their ass.. smh.
chris macaluso - please just smite us all and start over.
austin mcnamara - Westboro Baptist Church. Bunch of dumb haters.
dawn franklin - Plastic wrap. It's been torturing us for years with the false promise of easy tear and cling.
joseph williams - We should probably smite all the violent protestors that are protesting against a violent case. Seems counterproductive and downright stupid.
christine colley - Can I get a twofer just this once? Texas and Florida.
christopher adams - Johnny Depp, for slapping makeup on, acting goofy, and expecting that shtick to work for 12 movies in a row.
jacqueline diane diviney - Ted Nugent... for existing
angela thompson - The media for making one bullshit case "important" and using it to fuel a race war. Or the 11,000 black people who have been killed since Trayvon was murdered in self defense. 94% of which were killed by a person of their own race.
deborah dopp - The next white person who says "a black person should not be threatened by being followed". On second thought, just turn that person a nice deep dark brown.
william king - Rick Perry. a variety of reasons. Like his sister making millions off the new Texas abortion bill by getting the religious idiots to stop thinking. Again. Or the bill he signed that doesn't give equal pay to women. The list is pretty fuckin' long at this point. Smite. His. Ass.
lorena rivera - Jake from State Farm
- SUMMARY: Obama has magical gay powers. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T23:16:42+0000)
God: SUMMARY: Obama has magical gay powers.Comments:
dylan stephens - We love you, God.
dan lien - i think i broke my face, i facepalmed so hard
kelli te - How do people like this get by day to day without forgetting how to breathe?
deezy dolan - i wasn't aware you could actually be this stupid
gajus tulius latus - If Obama has magical gay powers, won't that make him a hair dresser?
justin arnold - Man that dude is gayer than a dude being gay. It's okay to be gay dude. Accept it.
andrew ochoa - It makes perfect sense if you don't think about it.
john pflueger - i went to obama's gay training course. never finished, so now i'm bisexual.
charlie kolpien - Obama doesn't give me gay feelings.. oh, but that biden... (drool)
haley din wojcik - I feel fabulous under Obama's magical gay powers!
xtina ceriddwynn - God is male.....so is jesus....so men who love god and jesus are gay
matthew bowden - Do you think Obama can turn a straight guy gay for me? I needs a cuddlemonkey
jordan norris - It is physically painful to me that people this stupid exist.
bill roth - Why do you redact the names? If they're dumb enough to post something so stupid publicly, we should be able to ridicule them.
ruben garcia - Clearly he doesn't know how to handle the fact that he's gay
bill mullinax - Obama wants me to have gay sex. So I do.
jerad dendinger - Why did you make it so stupid people breed faster?
joey lusvardi - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkQxHlr2fXM
kali celio - so many idiots...god why cant u thin the herd? just a little.
anthony alan - this persons parents are brother and sister i think.
tasawar hussain jan yz - lmfao thats where the sudden urge to shove my bath soap up my ass came from
- The world needs more of these signs. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T20:32:19+0000)
God: The world needs more of these signs.Comments:
clyde day jr. - No we need to remove all warning lables off everything. if you have to be told not to drink bleach then we need to thin out the herd
dave houser - Do stupid people really have that choice? As Carlin said, imagine the average person's intelligence, now remember that half the people are dumber than that.
jacqueline marx - Couldn't that be a commandment?
joshua roy frick - NEW COMMANDMENT!
carrie rice - Stupid people don't read signs.
christopher elizabeth - They're the same ones who don't read signs though :/
sara bishop - some people need that sign driven into their stupid heads!
jonsta mosh - here, hold my beer...
richard messum - They'd be like Stop signs -- they wouldn't work, more's the pity
sean compton - enforced by lightning bolts
al steinz - if this is a new commandment, what am i supposed to do with all those t shirts that read i'm with stupid?
sammy brewster - Perhaps one in the Congressional Parking Garage would help.
bird moses - hahha no just makes people more stupid!
georgina schilders - If you ever wanted God to give you a sign...
This is it.
barbie laina - Well sadly, no one really reads!
jonsta mosh - that's discriminatory
kerry findlay - Especially on Australia God.....can you stop people driving through those flood waters??
bill mothershead - People would need someone to explain it to them all the time though.
brian swagger - Hey God, can you do us a favor and smite the dumb ones?
anthony martino - Youre god? Will it into existsnce!
nick radford - I need one of those signs on my bathroom mirror as a little reminder every day.
- It's NEW COMMANDMENT DAY! Post a comment with your suggestion for a new law to govern all manki (Type: status | Published: 2013-07-15T17:01:53+0000)
God: It's NEW COMMANDMENT DAY! Post a comment with your suggestion for a new law to govern all mankind. I'll post the winner tonight!Comments:
everett vanbuskirk - thou shall only use the left lane to pass
john w willie - Thou shalt not watch Fox News.
tina wayland - Thou shalt not give a black woman in Florida 20 years for firing a warning shot at her abusive husband and then let Zimmerman go free because he stood his ground.
drew naytowhow - Thou shall not post "1 Like = 1 Prayer" photos.
john palmer - Thou shall KEEP thy RELIGION to THYSELF!
badawg scott - Howsabout thou shall not kill children because you're scared of the color of their skin?
nicky nacky noo noo - Thou shall STOP! when it's Hammer Time
amber boggs-gaucher - Thou shalt not be a greedy little fuck.
mike wood - Thou shalt not cram thy penis, religion, or politics down Thy neighbors throat without consent.
ajeet singh mann - Thou shalt use thine fucking turn signal at all times
dave ehmke - Thou shalt not like big butts and lie about it
holly holbrook - Thou shalt not texteth while in the company of another. Tis rude! ;-)
rey alvidrez - Peanut butter should not be stored in the damn fridge!!!
julia dorothy natalia zion - Thou shalt not stalk a black kid buying Skittles.
james merrett - Thou shalt not smell of B.O. on public transport.
mike woods - Thou shalt not duckface.
keith whitworth - Thou shall not be so butthurt over the George Zimmerman verdict
jessica fonseca - Thou shalt make thy intentions clear before the hookup. Thou must not leave a girl hangin'.
michael bakken - Thou shall be excellent to each other and party on dude.
sarah himelick - Thou shout maketh your woman a sandwich
jeremy sinclair - Thou shalt STFU if you don't know what you're talking about.
- I only answer if I want to. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T03:36:39+0000)
God: I only answer if I want to.Comments:
zach thoroman - God, eat a snickers. You're being a dick.
chris d'avanzo - That kid needs God? He has daddy issues.
rishi chelminski - He should be asking why his mom doesn't use punctuation.
samantha n. blackston - Well if her son talks the way she spells you probably wouldn't even understand the question to begin with.
christopher chad charters - Some of the comments here are priceless. God always answers? God always hears? I'm sure there is quite a few starving children in Africa that might disagree. Of course though that's not god, it's people's fault. Coz the big G only gets credit for the good stuff
chuck oden - God must be in an Old Testament mood
eric lanzer jr. - "He's busy giving AIDS to children in Africa." --Ricky Gervais
zeyda rodriguez - Tell him to write to his FB page like everybody does.
kevin annis - God. I enjoy you personally. Your page is amazing, but a childs faith isnt that of religous douchery but out of curiosity. I think it should be encouraged, not scorned.
jennifer key-frahm - No kidding. When I was 9 I asked you to make my sick Grandpa feel better. Tell him hi, by the way. lol
kevin mcmahon - You can answer if you want to, you can leave your friends behind...
pok fri ri - On Tuesday, from 5:15 pm to 6:30 pm EST, could you please clear the road for me so I don't get stuck in rush hour traffic. I realize that sometimes the answer from you is "no," but if you do this for me I will believe in you and try to get two other people to believe in you too.
lori taylor - Kids need to learn early that life shits on you one way or another
That's why I put mine to work in the salt mines at early ages
foley butler - Melanie. Unbunch your panties. Just as the biblical god is a joke, so is the facebook one. Blame the kid's mother. She fed him a bunch of crap and now he's sussing it out.
robert schmudde - Spoiled brats and their instant gratification. Every earnest prayer I've ever petitioned has been answered...in due time. After many barren years, I prayed my wife and I might have two children. We were blessed with Lucy, then, two years later, we were blessed with twins. I have no one but myself to blame for not being more specific in my prayers. Thanks for the bonus kid, BTW, she's really awesome.
amanda lowe davies - My son likes to look at the sky at yell, "Heimdell, open the bifrost!"
anupam katkar - The LORD does not tell fairy tale lies to 6 year old's.
And neither should we. :)
pablo vela - Wow!! The bible God is back!! really dude, eat a Snickers
bryan mitchell - Should have told her to have him talk to you on Facebook! Gettin' all old testament, God, ya jerk.
matthew lizmi - I can't believe the butthurts here.
You liked this brilliant page for the controversial humour, and now you decide to be a conservative about it? Piss off and unlike, God hasn't any time for you.
foley butler - Why is this kid even looking up to the sky? God is everywhere. Why not just look into your shoe or up a dog's ass?
- I am SO tired of racism. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T02:17:55+0000)
God: I am SO tired of racism.Comments:
brandon richey - God is black because he lives closer to the sun, and therefore needs the darker skin. Really, it makes perfect sense people.
god - Is anyone else watching Big Brother? Holy shit!
bram wazig - a much better question is: why is jezus always depicted as white when he was born in the middle east? ;)
anita o'kelly - "Oh my god, Brendon, you can't just ask people why they're black."
ross j. feickert - Well, the christian god does kind of sound like a white guy. Rapes virgins, will throw you in a pit of fire for looking at other gods, hires someone to trick people into doing specifically what he told them not to do. Yup. God's white.
bryan carver - Because he made man in his own image, and geographic tracking of mitochondrial DNA suggests that the first humans migrated out of Africa.
ian porteous - Morgan Freeman has always been black
emelia black-matthews - Make God a woman if you really want to see the shit fly
rey mendez - Facebook is fuckin stupid, I'm getting tired of all the shit I read on here. I'm a very tolerant person but dammit, you guys pushed me to my limits, what happen to education, love for humanity, respect. Now I don't care if people make fun of me, by all means go ahead, I'm ok with it, but not if you're being racist to the whole community. Blacks, gays, illegals, every one of those groups had to struggle to get here. No one has an easy path and instead of helping, we as people try and keep each other down and its insane. Why don't we want others to be happy? In my eyes, no ones an immigrant, we were are born on earth and earth is our home.
My name is Rey and I truly believe that we're all equal as humans.
marta layton - I would love for you to someday use a female avatar. See how that riles people up, and makes the rest of us cheer. :-)
medusa reignfire - because black is a mixture of every colour in the colour spectrum when referring to pigment. Since God is part of everyone it makes sense.
eric edson - according to Bill Nye, we are all shades of brown
dustin koon - God is Black because he's Morgan Freeman, go home, you're drunk.
juan garces - Actually God, you look more Latino to me. Not surprising since you named your kid Jesus.
autumn gaston - I assumed he was middle eastern, seeing as how his son is from the middle east.
robert mans - Cus if he was white he would blend into the clouds?
kelsei toth - You gonna lose faith over a tiny change in skin pigment? >:C ARE YOU A FOOL?
tara christiansen - I don't think God is black enough!
donald fournier - God is what we make him. I mean, each individual person has a different idea of the perfect being. That is their God. My perfect being looks more like Chuck Norris. A black Chuck Norris.
magdalene marie frank - I think it would be fun if god was a different color of the rainbow every day of the week
joey elvira - I always found it funny christians drew Jesus as a white male. Based on where he supposedly was born (although no evidence to support his existance exists), he was most likely brown skinned, and looked like an arab. Thats a fact.
- BEHOLD a new creation! What shall I name it? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T00:16:38+0000)
God: BEHOLD a new creation! What shall I name it?Comments:
david blunt - Behold the Rhinark!
cherry redd - Put it in China, then we can call it Ho Lee Shitt
ron cabucio - Not sure... but I see a new SyFy channel movie in the making...
jarad faucheaux - Murder McDeathpants
joe krishka - Bill, or George. ANYTHING BUT SUE!
anthony oliver - Girl on her period wanting chocolate.
john martin samuels ii - how about "run-muthafucka-run"?
steffy ann stewart - Call it aintnothingtofuckwithasaurus
miguel alfonso - Ohshitohshitohshitohshit.
lauren riley - "Gonnashitmypants Rex"
nick parisho - a George Zimmerman
jason mcneil - The Great Sharkanocerous
kendy m. nieves lara - Does it come in a tornado?
chris barber - Oh fuck would work.
william l willis - The George Zimmerman
gino de jesus - This would be so incredibly horrifying if it was real.
michael lindstrom - I don't want the ability to call it, so name it something I can't pronoune.
perci rana - Looks Chinese : Ho Lee Fuk
leslie mcrizzle - My mother-in-law
andrew wareing - The Shitmypantsus!
karen marrello - How about extinct? Then I can sleep tonight?!
- Why would ANYONE not like this page?!? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-14T22:16:57+0000)
God: Why would ANYONE not like this page?!?Comments:
abigail mastache - God is the master of comebacks, I swear.
andre wright - I haven't received any nudes yet!!!
patti mann - He doesn't specify what kind of nudes. Post a picture of some naked mole rats, that will mollify him.
joseph storkel - Hey, why did you create the old crazy lady that comes into my work every Sunday and tells me I'm going to burn in hell because I don't go to her church? I mean every damn Sunday! You think she'd die at some point, but no, no she doesn't.
daniel lucy - You look pretty fit on the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Are you worried you won't live up to people's expectations, God?
miss dreavus - I would ask for nudes But "Gazing upon the rack of infinite wisdom would drive a man to madness"
andrea francione savoy - Ya, but not just nude chicks...we need nude hot guys too...:P
the devil - I can give you plenty if you like my page MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
aaron garcia - I'm an atheist, but your posts make me laugh
tony espinoza - ask and you shall receive...thus god created porn hub, redtube and bravoteens for this man before he was born for god knew that this man would desire nudes
djinn green - I'm willing to bet god is a sexy amazonian girl.
scott rekvold leasum - God please don't post nudes and get banned. Wait. Can God be banned? Who would dare face the wrath of God? I myself tremble before God. Well not so much tremble as jiggle when I laugh.
thomas linkous - Who would want nude pics of god? No offense lord.
ernie kampmann - I bet, being God, He has pictures of EVERYONE nude!
heidi vogel - Need to be equal opportunity on the nudes. I'd like some men nudes, please.
bill ess - Even that men might one day respect women as people instead of genitals?
melissa williams - But...It's the internet...You can get free nudes anywhere. LOL
craig degoosh - I'm naked right now
chris graham - God Does Not Exist... Atheist
garrett akin - NUDES!! Is God's penis average size? What about God's female side's boobage?
cody stanford - Today is National Nude Day, God. Get crackin'!
- The lid was loose and came off. Sorry. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-14T21:19:14+0000)
God: The lid was loose and came off. Sorry.Comments:
joey bettis - Larson did the best comics, ever. And his many "god" themed ones are hella funny.
retta martin - The lid must have been loose...
alex hosner - I thought it said "Jews."
karen claud - You seem to have concentrated a large amount of them in Florida
meg haley - Fuckin blow that shit off and run it under some water next time, douche. No one will know.
managergreg ma'lo - When did you turn from a Smurf Blue to Miami Tan?
andrea francione savoy - God, STOP COOKING WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK!
sam dintruff - LOL I thought it said "Jews" at first.
ken l custance - must have been right over Texas when that happenend
lorinda osilly - we need more trees, the jerks you let loose keep cutting them down.
jim allen - I think the shaker top fell off when you were adding them.
alexander selsvik - Love how one box says krill
live faust - I like that god is blue. Further proof that god is a smurf. WHAT NOW ATHEISTS?
hayley eade - the question here is... WHO loosened the lid? sabotage???
brian lopez - Same story with the Dumbasses jar?
chris doering - god's a smurf??lol
andrew courtemanche - Somewhere right now, Gary Larson is PISSED that this is online.
lee o'brien - God has a uni-brow for eyes
erik van eldik - Oops, at first sight i thought it said Jews.
stacy presco - Good grief, I thought it said JEWS!
r andrew exile - Seems that most of it rolled down to Florida.
- Do you believe in Me? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-14T20:11:17+0000)
God: Do you believe in Me?Comments:
shaun price - I can see you right here on facebook. Thats all the proof I need.
lydia wolverson-bone - I believe in You God..... You're awesome and I love you! <3
daniel huerta - I don't believe in you, but you're cool. We cool God?
genna wings - I loathe religion....but God does a great job on his FB page to make me love him. God is positive and supportive of both those religious and those not religious, always getting to the root of it all. Thank you for being on FB and giving us some happy.
susan a. hubbard - Ill only believe in you, not the dick god that is in the bible. He totally has his toga in a knots
missy ball - Can't I just buy you a beer or a hooker and call it even?
thomas coote - We need a new version of the bible with this god. That would be so awesome
david denberry - You're better than the Bible god, the Bible god is a real asshole.
vickie ritchie - I believe you exist. Not so sure about the mythological sky daddy from the black book tho.
Youve got a much better sense of humour at any rate.
I like that shit :)
edward robson - Yes, I believe in you. I just don't believe you exist, because existing isn't the sort of thing a real god would do. Existing things are limited by time and space and subject to the laws of physics. Real gods are personifications of eternal principles, which can be everywhere at once, occupy no space, and don't have to begin or end. I must say, though--you have a much better sense of humor than the gods of most religions.
nigel kenneally - I believe in you, just not religion .
rod mason - I do believe that you are an internet anthropomorphic personification of a popular deity and that I get more response from you from a moments typing that I would from a lifetime on my knees in a church.
john edwards - I guess I'm a dick because the only higher power I believe in is The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
jason kiser - Do atheists who like your page get a "get out of hell free" card??
gareth mcginley - You should be in southpark episodes
mattias samuelsson - sure, you would not post this if you did not exist.. only a silly atheist would still not believe after such solid proof.
newton tesla - Hey God, have you ever had self confidence issues, and became an atheist? Like, " Oh man, I wonder if this forgiving sin business is harder than I thought, maybe I can't do it."
ivan strader - If god isnt real, how does he have a facebook page?
harkirat singh - I'm an atheist too. And you seem to be a nice guy. When you are not hungry. :-D
gordon macqueen - I believe in your facebook page.
micayla presley - I believe in you, Facebook God, because I can see you and you actually answer prayers and smite people. ;) You rock!