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- God - Official FB PageCategory: Comedian Likes: 774552 Talking About: 789534About: Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheGoodGodAbove YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/stuffgodhates
- What the hell, America? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-18T18:40:27+0000 | Likes: 7828 | Shares: 1133)
God: What the hell, America?Comments:
Nick Smith - Would showing a woman's hair be porn in iraq?
Jason Deatherage - priority's this guys has them.
Joshua Corvinus - I support porn for all people of all nations and all genders!
Roberto Florencio - lets trade them oil for it!
טל לוי - it's very ironic when god says "what the hell"...
Josh Velasquez - That's what happen when you make women look like shopping ninjas
Chris Powell - It's our American duty to spread the booty.
North Fall - See, this is why the Taliban blows shit up. Give them the porn.
Tyler Pullano - Looks like it's time to start a "relief" fund!
Brandy Richmond - Eh. I say let them make their own. We have to take care of our country first. Go get your own porn, Iraq.
Tom Richardsen - I smell a vile stench of photoshop ;)
Tripp Rademacher - Getting off makes everyone feel better. When people feel good, they are calm. Give them porn, all mighty God of the Facebook! Then everyone everywhere can have porn, get off, and be calm. World peace.
Jill Baker Wacka - Whether the US does porn well is a matter of opinion. Still sexiest as hell, geared toward men's satisfaction, with the expectation that women are just a vehicle toward men's enjoyment. What is depicted is a women reaching orgasm just by a man entering her. Ridiculous! I can hear the argument know, porn is viewed mostly by men, so this is what is portrayed... The problem, beside the obvious, is that regular men have sex with real women. You see the problem?
Agata Gajda - Prince having no idea what he's doing.
Melissa Flam - To further boost their high regard of women.
Alex J. Martinez - The 2 things America's good at, Porn and Diabetes
Adam Charney - I think he meant "corn". They're having a hard time with agriculture over there.
Tríona Carroll - I want non-masochist (non-50 Shades of Grey) Porn for WOMEN !! :P
Moses Horowitz - We should give Iraq booze, porn and television, and lots of it. Worded wonders on the USA, after all.
Daniel San - Cmon. At least give them porn. And the good stuff not that late night skinemax bull.
Heather Shoven - One step at a time dudes. Let your ladies show their ankles first!
- AND NOW the answers to ASK GOD:
1. HUMAN: Why did you create Justin Bieber?
GOD: Millions an (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-18T02:10:15+0000 | Likes: 9874 | Shares: 2407)
God: AND NOW the answers to ASK GOD: 1. HUMAN: Why did you create Justin Bieber? GOD: Millions and millions of teenage girls have to worship someone. What are they gonna do, fall in love with the boy next door? HAH! He’s not even famous! 2. HUMAN: Is there a Mrs. God? GOD: No. There used to be but we got a divorce. Um…just for the record…this all definitely happened a long time before I banged Mary. 3. HUMAN: Will anyone ever invent vibrating tampons so I really can have a happy period? GOD: No. Humans keep trying to invent this, but I keep stopping them. Periods are not to be trifled with. THUS SAYETH THE LORD. 4. HUMAN: are you friends with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? GOD: No. The Pasta Monster is My enemy. He’s an up and comer on the deity stage and has started to peel off My Followers. I have sworn to catch and eat the pasta monster. I even put out a reward for it’s capture of TEN GAJILLION SPACE BUCKS. 5. HUMAN: Have you ever drunk dialed Mary? If so, how pissed off does Joseph get? GOD: Of course, it’s happens all the time. I get drunk and we have lots and lots of phone sex. Joseph never says anything but I know he listens. I can hear him breathing. 6. HUMAN: If you remove a pin of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? By the way, I kind of need a quick answer for this question. GOD: No, you should throw it somewhere. Anywhere is fine, just so long as it’s no longer in your hand. By the way, I know it took the LORD ten hours to answer your question and you are now dead. But at least you got an answer! 7. HUMAN: Dear God, do you ever regret killing off the dinosaurs? Wouldn't it have been amusing watching us go about our day to day lives periodically getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex? GOD: Yes, I do regret that. I think watching a scumbag lawyer run from a hungry T-Rex while on his way to work would be extremely entertaining. Maybe I should send a few dinosaurs back to Earth. I’ll put it on the to-do list for next week.Comments:
Javier Zúñiga Salas - Take Beiber, return dinosaurs!
Max Resto - as a devout pastafarian, i find it offensive that you consider his cosmic noodliness your enemy. not cool, god. not cool!
Candace Arianne Jennings - God, if you made man in your own image, why are people not invisible?
Amapola Lem - God, when you drunk dial Mary, and Joseph walks in on her speaking w you, do you tell her to tell him its "Jake, from StateFarm"??
Melissa Dobbs - That's not Joseph listening, its the NSA.
R Rhqeem Joseph - This is the funniest thing I've ever seen
Jesse George Jauregar - God, I hate to debunk you on question number six, but as an ex-Navy Gunners Mate...
It is possible to put the pin back in a grenade as the device is still safe so long as the spoon is held tight to the body of the weapon. If the original pin cannot be located, and this came from one of my Chiefs, use a paperclip.
Marisa Ramirez - Why is "God" always referred to as a "male" entity? Isn't "God" whatever we perceive "God" to be? In that case, my god makes vibrating tampons, is neither male nor female, and allows dinosaurs to roam the earth so I can ride a Velociraptor while eating ice-cream and chasing misogynists and child/animal abusers with my trained ninja T-Rex.
Martha Mantikoski - Dear God: Dinosaurs are not extinct. E.g. Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, Marcus Bachman... Et al. Homophobiass erectus sanctibalonium.
Joe Azathoth - Take bieber, return James Dio.
Cooper Brennan - Michelle mulligan have you ever heard of the Crusades? You idiot
Barry Black - "God put dinosaurs on this earth to test your faith" ~ Sarah Palin quote.
Brian Devonshire - And the LORD sayeth "SHOO!"
Thus, dinosaurs were no more
-- Sagan 42:0
Matteo Turner - "But the path was blocked by a giant brontosaurus with a splinter in his paw, and O the disciples did run a shrieking 'What a big fucking lizard, lord.' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus' paw and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousand of American tourists and their fat, fucking families and their fat, fucking American dollar bills. And Scotland did praise the lord, 'Thank you lord, Thank you lord, Thank you lord.'"--Bill Hicks
Chris Horrox - Silly sandy, if you don't like it, piss off!
Jerry T. Christ (twin brother of Jesus H.) - I remember having to pose for this picture because Jesus was too scared to get close to the dinosaur.lol It was also His first attempt at making a rainbow and it was a total FAIL. It was actually My idea to add 4 more colors!
Mary Hayes - God: Do you mind if I take all of your 'Mary' references personally? It would make me smile and maybe giggle a little bit.
Patrick Jones - If dinosaurs actually come back that means that there really is a God and that he really does own a Facebook page
Jim Sweeney - Scumbag lawyers huh. Hey god, who handled your divorce ?
Eirinn Elsbeth - Bringing back the dinos would THRILL my little girl. Sacrificing Beiber to see it happens would thrill ME.
Razieme Iborra - i'm going to laugh at all the assholes who have accused God of not being real because of this facebook page when the dinosaurs come back next week .
- It's ASK GOD WEDNESDAY! Post a comment with any question for the LORD.
I'll answer the top 7 (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-17T17:21:04+0000 | Likes: 17647 | Shares: 4544)
God: It's ASK GOD WEDNESDAY! Post a comment with any question for the LORD.
I'll answer the top 7 questions tonight!Comments:
Shelbey Stargazer Stanton - Why did you create Justin Bieber?
Nina Koskivaara - Is there a Mrs. God?
Joanne Gill - Will anyone ever invent vibrating tampons so I really can have a happy period?
Derek Gad - God, are you friends with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Jack Wixom III - Have you ever drunk dialed Mary? If so, how pissed off does Joseph get?
Mike Zhang - if a brown man killed a black man and everyone is mad at the white man, why are they rioting and looting the yellow mans stores?
Andrew White - How many pieces of wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
John Smith - How does a blind man know when he's done wiping his ass?
Oliver Rouse - Why do we call it cookies and bacon when we cook bacon but bake cookies?
Amanda Castreje - If you remove a pin of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? By the way, I kind of need a quick answer for this question.
Steven Hanson - God, if you're the source of truth, it logically follows that you cannot lie. Does that mean you like big butts?
Gary Hamilton - I've a tattoo of the periodic table on my back. Should I be worried that more anthracites and lanthanides will be discovered?
Mitch Zen Obi - Dear God, do you ever regret killing off the dinosaurs? Wouldn't it have been amusing watching us go about our day to day lives periodically getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
Carl Dean Cox - In Monopoly, is it okay to sell the "Get Out of Jail Free" card to another player?
Joi Lin Ure Olsen - Do animals (besides humans) pray to You? If so, what do they pray for?
Jake Burrell - How did Jesus find people called Matthew and James in the Middle East?
Sally 'Sly' Roediger - You still haven't told me why I have not yet received that pony I prayed for 45 years ago.
Darby Flynn Keith - Do you ever beg humans for their forgiveness at the pearly gates for all the bullshit you put us through in life?
Anthony Spears - I know you could walk on water, but can you walk on 15 shots of tequila?
Christopher Adams - Why did you make those "banana strings" .... when you peel the banana, those extra things flop there. We all just pull them off anyway. No one eats them.
Karo Hdez - is the Hokey Pokey really what it is ALL about?
- The winner of SMITE TUESDAY is the state of Florida.
Florida is the worst state in the USA.
(Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-17T00:29:41+0000 | Likes: 12935 | Shares: 1883)
God: The winner of SMITE TUESDAY is the state of Florida. Florida is the worst state in the USA. SMITE!Comments:
Devin Humburg - Ehh, I still think Texas probably holds that title
Patrick Joseph McMahon - Somewhere in Texas an asshole took that as a personal challenge
Eddie Kulczyk - Yeah I guess if you get your head bashed in you should just take it
Blake Detore - I live here and it really is complete shit
John Blaszczyk - Yeah this used to be a funny and clever page. Now it's all 100% liberal BS.
Eliar Mayorga - goddammit lord. As a Floridian I would have to agree with you, but at least at some point all the old geezers that make the stupid rules will be playing shuffle board up in your magical kingdom someday and us real Floridians can get back to what makes our state the shit. Spring break, great baseball and loose whores.
Chad R Carpenter - Gotta disagree god. They got something right this time.
Zachary Tye Janów - Dude. Texas banned tampons in the state capitol. They still win the prize.
Sharon Bean - god, im a big fan. but um, the legal system doesnt include emotions, so yeah, many of us think it sucks. but then there's the whole preponderance of evidence, rule of law, burden of proof and that whole 'reasonable doubt' thing. let's also factor in that crazy idea that our media, generally, SUCKS ASS and is fully and completely corporatized....
Matthew Schmidt - You obviously haven't been to NC.
Sean Fleisher - God, how do you hate this beautiful state? It is, after all, your waiting room, is it not?
Amber Dulaney - Thank you for specifying that it's the government here that sucks...because you know there's a LOT of regular citizens like myself who are disgusted with what's been going on in Florida <3
Michael Angelo Shanks - Mississippi: *clears throat*
Freddy Rodriguez - FB God was funny until he/she/it got all political. I don't care about the Right or the Left. This was much better when the religious stuff was on. Extreme Left is just as bad as Extreme Right. Stop being a dickwad.
Andrew McCollum - Just when I thought this page couldn't make a full retard post.
Melissa Garcia - I was born and raised in South Florida, and I approve of this message.
Maude Porter - As much as I hate Zimmerman, you have to be PROVEN guilty... If there isn't enough evidence, even for one juror, they have to say "not guilty", and that is to the charges that are being brought up.
Claude Veevers - George Zimmerman was innocent. The media has made fools out of all of you. YOU CAN'T FLIM FLAM THE ZIM MAN.
Kevin Jewell - Running neck and neck, but Florida did put Bush into the white house!
Brandon Holzwarth - Gotta call bullshit with god on this one. Sad to see even got got caught up with the media hype and not actually checking out the trial.
Jennifer Stanton - Texas is a close second.
- It's SMITE TUESDAY! Post a comment with the person, place or thing you want smote.
I'll post (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-16T16:11:53+0000 | Likes: 13306 | Shares: 2299)
God: It's SMITE TUESDAY! Post a comment with the person, place or thing you want smote.
I'll post the winner tonight! SMITE!Comments:
Leadfoot Lizzie - you could begin with Florida
Vika Soni - Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman Zimmerman
Kat Findlay - Smite the 3 boys who raped Rehtaeh Parsons, bullied her over several year until she eventually committed suicide, and now are whining in articles that they are the victims. Happened in Nova Scotia Canada. She's on this months cover of people magazine in the US
Jared Johnson - Those who attempt to divide the country along racial lines.
Bill Mullinax - Ann Coulter's house (for MANY reasons, but in particular for shouting 'Hallelujah' when Zimmerman's verdict was announced).
Anneliese M. Good - Seriously guys..
It seems kind of silly to me that so many people are commenting about Zimmerman when there was a grave injustice done to all the women in Texas on the same day.
Smite those assholes who pushed through the anti-abortion law in Texas
Anne Puckett - smite cancer, for Talia (you took her this morning, you greedy bastard! so smite that shit cancer)
Emily Hartman - Smite the parents that kick their children out upon finding out theyre gay.
D.j. Moffett - Easy, George Zimmerman.
Justin Perry - Whoever the idiots are that raised interest on student loans. I'm only 22 and am 40,000 in debt, (not counting my 27,000 dollar medical bill) us as college students r usually broke. I wasn't born with the luxury of rich parents and its hard to work, although I'm trying, between school and not having a car.. I don't even expect to make 40,000 my first year after school! We are going.to better ourselves and make money and have a bright future.. how are u gonna take more money when we are actually doing somethin but you'll be glad to hand the deadbeats $1,000 a month to sit on their ass.. smh.
Chris Macaluso - please just smite us all and start over.
Austin McNamara - Westboro Baptist Church. Bunch of dumb haters.
Dawn Franklin - Plastic wrap. It's been torturing us for years with the false promise of easy tear and cling.
Joseph Williams - We should probably smite all the violent protestors that are protesting against a violent case. Seems counterproductive and downright stupid.
Christine Colley - Can I get a twofer just this once? Texas and Florida.
Christopher Adams - Johnny Depp, for slapping makeup on, acting goofy, and expecting that shtick to work for 12 movies in a row.
Jacqueline Diane Diviney - Ted Nugent... for existing
Angela Thompson - The media for making one bullshit case "important" and using it to fuel a race war. Or the 11,000 black people who have been killed since Trayvon was murdered in self defense. 94% of which were killed by a person of their own race.
Deborah Dopp - The next white person who says "a black person should not be threatened by being followed". On second thought, just turn that person a nice deep dark brown.
William King - Rick Perry. a variety of reasons. Like his sister making millions off the new Texas abortion bill by getting the religious idiots to stop thinking. Again. Or the bill he signed that doesn't give equal pay to women. The list is pretty fuckin' long at this point. Smite. His. Ass.
Lorena Rivera - Jake from State Farm
- The Divine Brain hurts from all the stupid. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-16T19:45:38+0000 | Likes: 8162 | Shares: 441)
God: The Divine Brain hurts from all the stupid.Comments:
David Allen Clark - Dear God; Are you building some of these humans out of spare parts or leftovers? Isn't there some kind of warranty you provide if they're defective like this?
Ryan Templeman - Billy Madison reference! 1000 pts
Srijan Tiwari - You are a cool GOD
Aaron Lynch - God, why do you allow people like this to continue to procreate? My guess is this guy has multiple children.
Jan Brunnström - English. Does he speak it?
Nicholas Hill - You created him, God. You deal with him.
Chris Bowers - Some people drunk text. This guy apparently trolls while he's having a stroke...
Alastair Powell - It's true! I was once arrested for clowning a liberal and not accepting the sheep or something... And now its on my permanent record :(
Erkka Mykkänen - Actually, I think this guy is right on the money. I too subscribe to the notion that the Santa Clause of Clown Liberals hate the sheep for the magic ritual of I Am Going to Fuck It.
Jillian FancyPants Marie - As a reminder, this year's #iamgonnafuckit Magic Ritual will be BYOB.
Scott Hohauser - Bath Salts is a hell of a drug.
Scott Gregg - Your own fault...you made him...
Terri Yancy - No, I'm afraid there isn't any law that says "If you clown liberals they must give you the sheep for the iamgonnafuckit magic ritual". Not that I know what the hell that means. But if there were such a law, it would be on the books in Mississippi.
Shelly Fleschute - "I support the death penalty and I hate abortion." Huh, guess it is all about the timing...
Samantha Grace Randolph - "I hate abortion" Says the human being with a dick who could never be pregnant, stupid fucker, you have no say or opinion in that "run".
Benjamin Campbell - I think he may be having a stroke.
Teresa Sherron - maybe he meant 'claws' because he is half-man, half-lobster?
Stephen Moon Gierat - Think mr Echols is a good argument for abortion and the death penalty :)
Rachel Sherman - Definitely swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool..
Jacob Osborn - several of my brain cells just committed suicide..
Stephen Tkacs - So, you see, the puppy was like industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially the little boy - "society" - knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.
- SUMMARY: Obama has magical gay powers. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T23:16:42+0000 | Likes: 15601 | Shares: 2866)
God: SUMMARY: Obama has magical gay powers.Comments:
Dylan Stephens - We love you, God.
Dan Lien - i think i broke my face, i facepalmed so hard
Kelli Te - How do people like this get by day to day without forgetting how to breathe?
Deezy Dolan - i wasn't aware you could actually be this stupid
Gajus Tulius Latus - If Obama has magical gay powers, won't that make him a hair dresser?
Justin Arnold - Man that dude is gayer than a dude being gay. It's okay to be gay dude. Accept it.
Andrew Ochoa - It makes perfect sense if you don't think about it.
John Pflueger - i went to obama's gay training course. never finished, so now i'm bisexual.
Charlie Kolpien - Obama doesn't give me gay feelings.. oh, but that biden... (drool)
Haley Din Wojcik - I feel fabulous under Obama's magical gay powers!
Xtina Ceriddwynn - God is male.....so is jesus....so men who love god and jesus are gay
Matthew Bowden - Do you think Obama can turn a straight guy gay for me? I needs a cuddlemonkey
Jordan Norris - It is physically painful to me that people this stupid exist.
Bill Roth - Why do you redact the names? If they're dumb enough to post something so stupid publicly, we should be able to ridicule them.
Ruben Garcia - Clearly he doesn't know how to handle the fact that he's gay
Bill Mullinax - Obama wants me to have gay sex. So I do.
Jerad Dendinger - Why did you make it so stupid people breed faster?
Joey Lusvardi - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkQxHlr2fXM
Kali Celio - so many idiots...god why cant u thin the herd? just a little.
Anthony Alan - this persons parents are brother and sister i think.
Tasawar Hussain Jan Yz - lmfao thats where the sudden urge to shove my bath soap up my ass came from
- It's NEW COMMANDMENT DAY! Post a comment with your suggestion for a new law to govern all manki (Type: status | Published: 2013-07-15T17:01:53+0000 | Likes: 720 | Shares: 41)
God: It's NEW COMMANDMENT DAY! Post a comment with your suggestion for a new law to govern all mankind. I'll post the winner tonight!Comments:
Everett Vanbuskirk - thou shall only use the left lane to pass
John W Willie - Thou shalt not watch Fox News.
Tina Wayland - Thou shalt not give a black woman in Florida 20 years for firing a warning shot at her abusive husband and then let Zimmerman go free because he stood his ground.
Drew Naytowhow - Thou shall not post "1 Like = 1 Prayer" photos.
John Palmer - Thou shall KEEP thy RELIGION to THYSELF!
Badawg Scott - Howsabout thou shall not kill children because you're scared of the color of their skin?
Nicky Nacky Noo Noo - Thou shall STOP! when it's Hammer Time
Amber Boggs-Gaucher - Thou shalt not be a greedy little fuck.
Mike Wood - Thou shalt not cram thy penis, religion, or politics down Thy neighbors throat without consent.
Ajeet Singh Mann - Thou shalt use thine fucking turn signal at all times
Dave Ehmke - Thou shalt not like big butts and lie about it
Holly Holbrook - Thou shalt not texteth while in the company of another. Tis rude! ;-)
Rey Alvidrez - Peanut butter should not be stored in the damn fridge!!!
Julia Dorothy Natalia Zion - Thou shalt not stalk a black kid buying Skittles.
James Merrett - Thou shalt not smell of B.O. on public transport.
Mike Woods - Thou shalt not duckface.
Keith Whitworth - Thou shall not be so butthurt over the George Zimmerman verdict
Jessica Fonseca - Thou shalt make thy intentions clear before the hookup. Thou must not leave a girl hangin'.
Michael Bakken - Thou shall be excellent to each other and party on dude.
Sarah Himelick - Thou shout maketh your woman a sandwich
Jeremy Sinclair - Thou shalt STFU if you don't know what you're talking about.
- The world needs more of these signs. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-15T20:32:19+0000 | Likes: 2878 | Shares: 493)
God: The world needs more of these signs.Comments:
Clyde Day Jr. - No we need to remove all warning lables off everything. if you have to be told not to drink bleach then we need to thin out the herd
Dave Houser - Do stupid people really have that choice? As Carlin said, imagine the average person's intelligence, now remember that half the people are dumber than that.
Jacqueline Marx - Couldn't that be a commandment?
Joshua Roy Frick - NEW COMMANDMENT!
Carrie Rice - Stupid people don't read signs.
Christopher Elizabeth - They're the same ones who don't read signs though :/
Sara Bishop - some people need that sign driven into their stupid heads!
Jonsta Mosh - here, hold my beer...
Richard Messum - They'd be like Stop signs -- they wouldn't work, more's the pity
Sean Compton - enforced by lightning bolts
Al Steinz - if this is a new commandment, what am i supposed to do with all those t shirts that read i'm with stupid?
Sammy Brewster - Perhaps one in the Congressional Parking Garage would help.
Bird Moses - hahha no just makes people more stupid!
Georgina Schilders - If you ever wanted God to give you a sign...
This is it.
Barbie Laina - Well sadly, no one really reads!
Jonsta Mosh - that's discriminatory
Kerry Findlay - Especially on Australia God.....can you stop people driving through those flood waters??
Bill Mothershead - People would need someone to explain it to them all the time though.
Brian Swagger - Hey God, can you do us a favor and smite the dumb ones?
Anthony Martino - Youre god? Will it into existsnce!
Nick Radford - I need one of those signs on my bathroom mirror as a little reminder every day.
- Excellent! All is proceeding as planned! (maniacal laugh) (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-11T06:44:22+0000 | Likes: 14220 | Shares: 355)
God: Excellent! All is proceeding as planned! (maniacal laugh)Comments:
Chelsea Nichol Hattan - If I were to believe in a deity it would absolutely be Facebook god.
Sutton Elisabeth - God,PLEASE go comment on Sexy Atheists recent photo. ;D
Travis Macher - If I were to believe in God, this is the God I would believe in. Not the one other people claim to believe in. This God rocks. And he cares. And he's not a douchenozzle.
Rock on, God.
Megan Melissa - Facebook God restores my faith in humanity.
Jeremy Quesada - Does any one notice that gods face was white and now its brown,lol
Col Fernando - How dare you!!! HOW DARE ALL OF YOU WHO DENY JESUS!!!
Everybody knows that the story of an invisible person who knocked up a chick on a donkey who gave birth to a Son that could walk on water is completely true.
Denis de Carvalho - As a Catholic applying to become a Jesuit priest (same order of priests/brothers as Pope Francis), I've got to say that this page kicks arse (I'm Australian, hence the correct spelling and not "ass")! Not to mention that the majority of my friends who like this page are also believers.
Kelly Blacksheepofscapegoats Pankey - Dear God, please smite the next person who remarks on your skin color. And please turn yourself into a goat wearing a mini skirt. Amen. (And thanks in advance)
Shayne Smith - I was thinking about that last night. Everything about this page 'God' is how I'd imagine a real God would act, I came close to thinking it was all real
Then I remembered I was high
Jan Brunnström - The opposite of Finlands minister of interior affairs, Päivi Räsänen, who claimed that it is ok to break the law if it's allowed by the bible and she also claims that homosexuality is a "pain". By the way, she is also the police minister... She is also the leader of our christian political party.
Would you smite her for us who thinks she's narrow minded and shouldn't be in our government? Please would you? It would mean a lot. Thanks God.
Peter Evans - We atheists know in our hearts that you alone are the one true God. All the other gods just play tidily winks.
Megan-Leigh Langton-Attang - I don't know but Facebook god makes me feel all good inside, faith and all that jazz. Still an atheist though but if I had to believe in a god, it would be you Facebook god. I love you. <3
David N-c - The 'original' god has very bad PR. He should never have allowed those bronze age goat-herds to write his book. Better to wait till the 21st century and do it all through Facebook
Beth Anee - He is absolutely right!
You portray how every " normal " person would think of GOD.
Nonjudgmental, unconditionally loving and givng. AND I don't think there necessarily is a GOD as such who punishes us and is to blame for killing people we love. I believe that is up to the choices we ourselves make. However, as atheist as I am, if I needed a God you are by far the best candidate ever.
You make people laugh... and if they can't laugh at themselves or need to take their religion to the extent where they are causing suffering for others and themselves (ignorance) then they don't really have anfull grasp on their religion.
Faith is one thing.
How you act based on your faith is a completely different story.
Anyway God just thought I'd let you know how frikken awesome you are and that you are the definition of greatness!!!
Sherri Lynn Peters - My faith did soar as the one true big G appeared magically on my FB page and speaketh the words of wisdom and faith. Certainly he can still appear in my flaming bush, but this seemed so much more civilized post donkey transportation era
Brandon McClure - You are no longer an atheist when you believe there is something above...
Valentin Trif - You guys know..come to think of it...facebook god is allot more decent than bible god...and we can literally talk to him (not trough a fucking burning bush acid trip) ...hail facebook god..the one true god :)))))))
Ng'ang'a Gicheru - God, did you go black? Coz you know what they say about going back.
Nicole Nahas - Because you ROCK!!!
Raj Ahmed - But if u r God and good why dont u kill Justin Beiber... He is more dangerous than Mohammed or Jesus :-/
Rosalind Dalefield - God,if you had showed this side of yourself in the Bible, I would not have become an atheist.
- I appear wherever I want, whenever I want, however I want. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-11T23:12:03+0000 | Likes: 9683 | Shares: 646)
God: I appear wherever I want, whenever I want, however I want.Comments:
Larry Piatt - Apparently, you showed up in my bedroom last night, cause my wife kept talking to you!
Chelle Campbell - "I'm God, whateva, whateva, I do what I want!!!"
Scott Friedman - And it's just plain easier being friends with God on facebook rather than driving to church everyweek!
William G. Asman - "God is a comedian. Playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." -Voltaire
Joshua Dutton - Pretty sure a lot of the older sources of Scripture didn't directly attribute the burning bush with God anyway, and older sources claim it was archangel metatron.
But if you try to show any attempt to recover older Biblical text to some of the more hardcore Christians, then they'll actually think Satan is tricking you into believing the that their favored translation isn't absolutely perfect.
Josh Hunt - "Jesus loves you" is fine to hear at church, but a horrifying thing to hear in prison.
Damon Moore - After a lifetime of studying Christianity I have come to the conclusion if God appeared on a mountain with a million Angels around surrounding God, the Christians would be the ones denouncing the manifestation as being anything except God! The idea of God speaking to mankind in ANY form scares the crap out of most of them!
Vicky Kay - Surely burning bushes were just social media of the era, right?
Crosby Fehr - So Jesus can appear on toast like, all the time. But as soon as facebook gets involved everyone becomes a sceptic.
Sissy Tuck - When you say "burning bush" we are talking foliage...aren't we? Since I've gotten to know you a lot better...I have to wonder.
Tim Brooker - So you need to show them the light by having a burning Facebook page
Carlos Alejandro Núñez Trujillo - It's funny how the same people that claim you are not God, believe, without the slightest doubt in their minds, that a carpenter who lived 2000 years ago in the Middle East was actually the son of God and that a fragmentary book filled with inconsistencies and loopholes represents a reliable source of information on the divine.
Jillian FancyPants Marie - So, to get into heaven I just "like" the page, right? None of this "love they neighbor" bologna?
Leonard Osgood - Facebook: the burning bush of the 21st century... ;-)
Karri Vaughn - Wait wait, so God having a Facebook page is totally outlandish but people liking pictures to prove they are true Christians is legit? Okay, got it.
Pamela Darlene - dear god: why did you make the fattiest saltiest foods so tasty?
Jake Dodenhoff - Sounds like Christians don't believe you really exist!
Dan Harris - Lol, God is black in his pic today, and was white yesterday.... Another miracle !! More proof of his greatness ☺ <3 u God !
Charles Reardon - Can't believe God can't have a Facebook page, believes he showed up on toast.
Tim Owens - I love how the so called "real christians " come on here preaching their fire and brimstone hatred at us when by all accounts we are here everyday waiting on the word of god ... Whos the real sinners !!
Sara McGraw - And these are the same people who have no problem believing that you can- and sometimes do- speak directly to them at random times but think the idea of you having a Facebook page is insane...? Also, why do people think you have nothing better to do with your time then meddle in their boring/weird lives? You're God for crying out loud! Ain't nobody got time for that, least of all God!!
- Did you know God is inside you? (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-12T03:46:58+0000 | Likes: 7155 | Shares: 400)
God: Did you know God is inside you?Comments:
Aaron Wise - Gods inside me .-. I need an adult!
Matt Stanley - You're the only being I want inside of me.
Dan Murrow - I think God was in my girlfriend last night. She kept saying his name anyway.
Eric Clark - That is a really Hindu/Buddhist approach to "GOD". I approve! The traditional greeting in many places is "Nameste"...which means, I see/recognize the "GOD" in you. You are awesome GOD to be manifest in so many different personalities! Kudos!
Nicole Ross - Wait a second...you're neither my husband nor my gynaecologist. Get outta here, God!
Justin Morera - God is inside me, just like a priest! :D ... Oh.
Kara VeganRabbit Kapelnikova - if you're inside my mom, does that mean i'm jesus?
Ibrahim Muhammad Agha - God. The biggest pervert of all time.
Ted Bobak - Are you in yet? My anus has been so stretched out by religion I can't tell
Sebastien James - "Show me on the doll where God penetrated you."
Andrew Gjovik - please pull out.
Curtis Hades Wardle - Our heavenly family is tight, like buttholes.
Nikki Walter - You're inside me? Sounds a bit rapey. No means No, God! Thought you learned your lesson with Mary!
Johnny Bramhall - Even Batman...oh my god. God is Batman
Cathy Paulino - Just a slob like one of us?
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home?
Naomi Lazarus - I don't let anyone inside me unless they buy me dinner, first. I like seafood.
Devin Campbell - So full of truth....so profound.
Russell Toon - God, have you been to a sexual harassment course lately?
Heather Ware - I just hope God uses a condom when he's inside of me...
Cody Noble - God, I've been wondering for a while now if you and Satan are the same being. I mean why would Satan punish others who've offended you? Wouldn't he welcome those individuals? Wouldn't the denizens of hell be partying it up instead of suffering their asses off? The only logical explanation I can think off is that Satan is your alter ego.
Ryan Cribelar - So kind, and disturbing...a good disturbing though
- Jesus Cat can turn kitty litter into Fancy Feast (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-12T04:47:22+0000 | Likes: 13856 | Shares: 1993)
God: Jesus Cat can turn kitty litter into Fancy FeastComments:
Guppy Jo - Are you saying we should pray to Pussy?
Andy Mogollon - I hate depictions of white cat jesus when everyone knows he was middle eastern.
Mark Kelly - I'm going with 8 because he's still here ...
Eddie Palacios - I'm going to accept Jesus Cat into my heart right meow. ;)
Lilia Hermosillo Jones - It's all about Ceiling Cat!
Scott Cowan - So sick of these blue eyed Jesus portrayals; historically inaccurate and I just can't relate.
Nathan David Stein - "If you strike me down now, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine"
James Grenier - Now say ten hail meows.
Patrick Stefanski - Looks more like Obi Wan Katnobi
Matt Grayson - Do not underestimate the power... Of the Bark side....
Colin Eaton - Thats Obi Wan Catobi. Not Jesus Cat.
Brian Shocklee - Looks more like Obi-Wan Catnobi.
Christopher T. Rosko - "NINE. TIMES." (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
Fiona O Hara - soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur
David Orlins - Looks more like; "these aren't the droids you are looking for."
Dave Rawden - Surely this is Jedi Cat?
Andrew Wheals - Any cat turns kitty litter into a fancy feast. They just have to use it first.
Andrew Sorensen - Joshua, go hate some other "God" page.
Will Mannion - We like to sin. Alot, send another leopard Messiah, please God
Matthew Lizmi - Obey the Muslim Scottish Fold.
Sherri Holman-Griffin - Can you strike some sense into my cat. He suddenly started pissing in the house again. I love him, but unless he stops, he will become an outside kitty permanently!
- Church and State are never getting back together.
And you know what? It's for the best. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-12T15:45:14+0000 | Likes: 10486 | Shares: 1602)
God: Church and State are never getting back together.
And you know what? It's for the best.Comments:
Patricia Downer - Sounds like state needs to get a restraining order on church.
Dillyn Featherstone - State: "We are never, ever, ever, getting back together."
Draper Sullivan - Britney, are you retarded? America was not founded on Christian principles. Most of the founding fathers were athiestic. And the Mason's were not a religious group at all.
Denise San Diego - Separation of Church and State IS A JOKE when you have to swear on a bible in court, FAIL
Freddy Torres - The US was founded on christian principles like.... slavery and taking land from Native Americans, no wonder so many crazy politicians want to continue with those traditions an enslave women by taking away their reproductive rights.
Jeff Brown - Overly Attached Messiah
Andrei Nicolae Bouwmeester - The purpose of the Separation of Church and State is to keep the religious zealots like Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann, from turning the United States into an Inquisition-era puritanical Christian-fundamentalist religious theocracy.
Sean Judge - I think Taylor Swift has a song about this.
Sophie Lagacé - Give it up, Church, and stop this obsession with my uterus -- it's gross and creepy.
Daniel W Drake - God! Please control your Son!
Ted Storie - Thomas Jefferosn- The Treaty of Tripoli
"As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."
Carlos Fuertes Bulk - State should sever the final ties and revoke tax exempt status for all religions.
Blaise Hartman - Obviously a lot of people never read the Treaty of Tripoli
Kyaw San Min - Creepiest Jesus. Ever.
Ann Walsh - Love you God- and I know there is no hell except the one we make for ourselves here on earth
Ivan Strader - Theres always that one anal mega christian who thinks everyone else is stupid. Always...
Connor McRonnoc - @britney, take your own advice maybe... "America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion." - from the constitution's signing http://jeromekahn123.tripod.com/thinkersonreligion/id9.html
Andre' Kosal - Yes Britney, you are definitely uninformed. This country was colonized by separatists who were upset that they could not persecute those of other religions. Read up on the actual history of the pilgrims... Really though, I guess that is Christian values considering how many people have dies in the name of Christianity. So maybe you are partially right.
Brandon Salazar - As it Joseph said to Mary, "rack city bitch. Rack rack city bitch. Ten, ten ten, twenty on yo titties, bitch"
Andrei Nicolae Bouwmeester - That was in the 1950s that we made the change, including on American currency. Look at Thomas Jefferson. He criticized financial institutions as being one of the biggest threats to liberty, and denied any association with religion, as when we broke away from the British, we broke away from a church-influenced monarchical system.
Cory Miller - where is hell located? cant find it on my gps...i wanna go visit
- Thou shalt not be a dick! Amen. (Type: photo | Published: 2013-07-13T02:15:23+0000 | Likes: 19016 | Shares: 1192)
God: Thou shalt not be a dick! Amen.Comments:
Tristan Henagan - 'Forcing' gay marriage.
Didn't realize everyone was being forced to be gay...
Heather Ware - Do we get to choose who Obama makes us gay marry? Because I want my new wife to be Angelina Jolie.
Cherries Jubilee McAnarchy - Reported? Lmao! To whom? Isn't God the highest authority in the universe?
Krissie Shelley Cope - "A homo-free world" Wow.
Andres Mercado - I'm tired of these right wing zealots
Jane Jane Janie - Ahhh....The 11th Commandment!
Chad Miller - He wants to live in a "homo free world" I want to live in a bigot free world. Guess we're both gonna be disappointed. :/
Jadie De Leon - Forcing gay marriage?
Well I hope my new wife is nice.
Selena Jordan - As a lesbian, I can say that I have never been allowed to marry anyone. I can also say my morals are probably better than that idiot. I have been with the same woman for 20 years. Here has been no cheating or domestic abuse. How many people like that asshat can say that?
Elizabeth Romero - I haven't felt any "homo sexual desires" since the law passed....weird.
Sarah Schroeder - Marriage existed before Christianity. Just saying....
Eric J. Roode - If gay marriage becomes the law of the land..., well, I just hope the guy they make me marry is nice.
Richard P Weiss - How about an asshole free world?
Nicholas Alexander Rece - Lol. I didn't realize I was turning everyone homo just because of who I choose to love. WATCH OUT GUYS, YOU'LL BE GAY IF YOU TALK/LOOK at me or READ THIS MESSAGE!!!
Jonathan Perez - People will really blame everything and anything on Obama.
Tessie Talk - I would like just one hater to cite even ONE case where a straight person has been forced into a gay marriage... and I would really like to know the names of anyone that Obama has made enter into a marriage with a person of the same sex... (sorry but giving everyone the same right to marry the person to whom he or she is attracted to forces nothing on to other people who are not the couple that get married..)
Rae Brown - "those who want to see our children live in a homo-free world...." What about those who want to see our children live in a school massacre free world?
Wayne Wall - This is the most entertaining page I have ever liked
Natasha Allie Evans - Because Obama can totally force gay marriage on the country.
If this page does anything, it shows just how crazy religion makes some people.
Keith Tucker - the ignorance is strong with this one
Sylver Nichole Grace - WHY do these people consider liberals to be scummy? we just want everyone to be treated correctly. If thats wrong then i dont want to be right!