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- Zane - Official FB PageCategory: Author Likes: 666624 Talking About: 371120About: Zane is the NY Times Bestselling Author of 30 books and the Publisher of Strebor Books/ATRIA/Simon and Schuster, the Creator, Scripwriter and Executive Producer of two Cinemax series: Zane's Sex Chronicles and Zane's The Jump Off.
Dear Zane, I am a 29 year old female who is dating a 22 year old man. I allowed him to m (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-29T00:02:34+0000)
Zane: SIGH! Dear Zane, I am a 29 year old female who is dating a 22 year old man. I allowed him to move in with me and my children because after staying at my home for a couple days his "mom" put him out for not checking in. I tolerated him.not being fully employed until now. The security job that he was doing took him off the schedule because of a no call no show. Anywho. I work full time and he keeps the car. He cannot contribute anything to my household but his foodstamps every month. True enough he will clean and cook. I'm at my Witt's end with him because I don't see the proof that he is out looking for a job and to top it off he will get out the bed and hop on his phone. I'm.not the type to kick someone when they are down but I feel all used up at this point and wish I stayed single. He never wants to stay in the house and chill out then pouts like a baby when we don't go anywhere. I want to let him go because I think ill be better off with him not here. I just don't like to hurt others... I cannot say that I love him fully but I do have love for him. Now I have money that is coming up missing.... what in the hell do I do? MY RESPONSE: Kick that Momma's Boy out! He went from his mother's house to yours, and you have children? Um, no, his ass needs to go. Only problem is that he might have to be formally evicted. Let this be a lesson. Don't let a broke man move into your house. Better yet, don't date a broke man in the first place. Stop trying to be his savior and save yourself from his BS. He will be fine. He probably already has another chick he can go live up on after you get rid of him. If not, he will turn on the charm long enough to talk her out of her panties and make it happen. Either way, it wouldn't and couldn't be my problem. I would not allow my children to witness me being treated like that and a man sitting around pouting like a baby. P.S. The fact that his mother put him out her house after he did not "check-in" for two days is epic.Comments:
makia williams - Maaaan, if you don't kick that freeloader to the curb!!
tanisha webb - That explains why he pouts...sounds like the mother was an enabler just like not kicking his behind out is doing! Plus, I don't believe I would date a man that's living with his mother...let's not even get into the fact that moms kicked him out!
kellie lynn kells - Is his name Baby Boy????
tia lambert - Formally evicted my ass...Chile please. Put his ass right on put AND change yo locks... A man don't work...don't eat
beverly white gregory - You will never get rid of him if you keep feeling sorry for him. Been there.
dee genuine-one - Chuupppppssss!..Why are we always picking up strays then complain when they can't or won't do anything to help us?..Send his lazy ass back home so he can continue to get his breast milk!
cametra roni'sbestest pitts - inbox me his/your number....i'll put him out for u. and don't let anyone else move in on top of you & your kids..... using your car sitting on your couch all day
kryst'ale smith - The wake up call should have been when his mother put his ass out financially taking care of a man is NOT the move.. Your move is to get rid of his lazy ass! LOL
shelley kaplan - Remove you from this letter and tell me what would you say to this woman?
malika coleman - Unless u want another child let him go!!
lisa bacon - Do the right thing for yourself and your children
rarebreed bittersweet - Get rid of him that is nothing you want to have around your child and yes that's actually what he is doing using you. And now that you had enough its time to put your guards up,put your foot down and kick him to the curb.
lashawndria stanback - Ugh!!! Lord please help this ignorant and naive youngens!!!
jessica bonds - Is that seriously a question? Girl, screw hurting him or his feelings. That isn't a man. That's a child. Kick him out and move along. All he is doing is using you.
jamille twistedsistas founder - Did you really REEEEALLY need advice on this?!?? Really??? -_-
monica halcomb - Put him out! he will just bring you down.
amber kierra - she is 29 she needs to grow the FUCK UP ! you have children worry about them not a grown ass man , excuse me... BOY
william craft - He's got to go wish luck put his assss out u
Have kids u dont need that In ur life gd luck
roshay rozay - Whoop his childish behind. Stealing from you and your kids. o no wheres my BELT!
felicia davonne - You know the answer... send him back to his MOMMY!
neisha mitchell - Girl, his mom put him out for not checkin in...the job fired his ass for not showing up...u hv money missing...u should hv seen that red flag waving. His mom didnt put him out for not checking in...he stole from her too and she got tired of his ass!
- Hello Zane. I enjoy your erotic novels and I've been a long time fan. Please keep me anonymous. (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T20:02:33+0000)
Zane: Hello Zane. I enjoy your erotic novels and I've been a long time fan. Please keep me anonymous. I really don't want others to know who I am but I would like you to share on fb so that I can get the opinions of others. I'm a 27 year old woman who had a son almost a year ago with a man, black man and yes I'm white. Well he previously has to fully black kids with his other baby mama. Well he doesn't want to commit to either of us. I've been doing everything in my power to get him to want me a d choose me. I really believe I'm the better woman because I don't take mess but I don't give him drama or trouble. He came to my house one night saying she's through, wouldn't let him see his kids. I Took this as opportunity to comfort him. Make him his favorite dish. Long story short we conceived again. And I'm pregnant again and so excited about more mixed children. Well here's the thing. He's distant again and I have the proof that he's back with his first kids mother. She went through his phone and saw texts between me and him and saying how I'm excited about our mixed child and asking was he excited about having another mixed child and if it was a girl she'd be the most beautiful daughter ever. His baby mom was hot at this statement. She thought I was implying that the daughters they have we're not beautiful. I want our kids to be close but shes closed to the idea. And he got upset not about her in his phone, but about me saying out mixed child will be the most beautiful. He said his daughters are beautiful and I Agree. But why are you so pissed about that? What about her in your phone. I don't do that kind of stuff. But he will never let her go so now I don't know what to do. Some black women seem so threatened by a mixed child but why? Why do men keep going back to drama? I wish I were the only mother of his children because this is difficult. Our kids are close in age Id like them all to know one another. Is that possible? Please help MY RESPONSE: I will let others tackle the race issue. All I am seeing in this is that two women-no matter what the race-are popping out babies in some kind of sick competition for a man who will not make a commitment to either one of you. From what you are saying, you planned the second child after some "favorite dish." If he was flip-flopping after the first child, the second child is not going to change matters. But I will say that you should be excited about your children-mixed or not. The main concern is them being healthy. I am not threatened by mixed children since my family is comprised of the "global spectrum" so I cannot answer that. I think you are being concerned about the wrong things and based on the way you worded your email, you probably did come off to both him and the other woman as implicating your children are better. Good luck with him but both of you women need to kick him to the curb before you have four more kids by him each and he is still doing him.Comments:
toni anderon - the fuckery!! guess she thought he was go leave his family for her stank ass!! get a life focuse on ur kids and get ova tha madness..u knew wat u was gettin yo ass into before u laid done with his ass!! soo woman up..and be gone!
sherine gray - This is a mess!! Anddddd you're a HOT mess!! A man will do only what you allow!! Race has not a thing to do with it. Furthermore, if he's having kids by other women, mixed or not, he should love them all the same. All of this talk about "mixed children" is nonsense. I hope you have a job or something to occupy yourself, cus you need to get your life right and take care of those babies! First and foremost! Dude will continue to travel back and forth! You said he would "NEVER" let her go!!! But, Dang, Why are you settling for that! Smh at you!!!!
bethandbrian lyles - There is no way that she a 27 year old woman of sound mind. She is crazy as the day is long
shawneequa thompson - I agree that it seems as if you think your kids are better because they are mixed. When you mentioned that you were white and he is black we can put two and two together and figure the children are biracial. So no need to keep pointing that out.
To the purpose of your letter, let him go. If he wants you, he would be with you regardless of what you do for him. But truth be told I don't think you want that advice. You will leave him when you truly have had enough.
I have a close white female friend who is in a healthy relationship with a black man and they have two beautiful sons. I'm not jealous, my children are just as beautiful. So to answer you question, black women don't have a dislike for biracial children. This woman wouldn't like you if you were black. You two are dating the same guy, what do you expect?
micah lomack - Wooooooooow. Nerissa why is she so stuck on the race? Don't get me wrong, I'm one to know mixed children are beautiful, but no more beautiful than a child who's not. Not only is she dull for continuing to fight for this dude not after one but TWO children when it's evident whatever drama she thinks his ex is bringing ain't enough drama for him to stay away but she's ignorant for making such a comment about being excited to have another 'mixed' child and not realizing how ignorant she sounds, making it evident how important the aspect of race is to her. I'm ALMOST saddened for people who walk around this earth not realizing they're racist, wondering why other people view them a certain way. Just because you date other races or have children with them doesn't mean you are not racist. I mean think what you want, damn, but be smart enough not to say the shit aloud and then wonder 'what'd I say, why YALL trippin'. Smh
jimma chavis - Y'all both sound petty to me & as for you to keep using the comment of "mixed kids" is pure ignorance why not just say that we will have beautiful kids! Grow up & quit having babies for a man that wants his damn cake & eat it too... Clearly you have race issues whether your fucking a black man or not because if you didn't there wouldn't be a need to announce that the kids are mixed so therefore the daughter will be beautiful FYI there are some not so cute mixed kids... #justsaying beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, & colors Hun get ya life!!
bobby johnson - She has to know her worth and make boundaries
nerissa hall - I know right Micah. I was like I hope she realizes every time she does that she points out to the children just how different they are from mommy. She is making them aware of race and the race problem in the country even before society does, which tells me it is a huge aspect of her philosophy and thought process. She reminds me of antebellum Southern women who fantasied about the "black mandingo" but still saw him and his people as a different "breed" than her own. It just irrupted me especially with the foolishness I've seen from the white women in my family with bi-racial children.
clarice invictus woods - Nerissa Micah You're absolutely positively 100% correct. I could not have said it better. In this case her prejudice seems mainly envy-based because she's been in competition with this black woman since the beginning. She meant every bit of malice with that mixed child is the most beautiful comment otherwise she would've just said "our daughter" instead of "mixed daughter". She says she wants their kids to be close, but she's condescending to the other mother and I'm sure that she wouldn't feel the same way if he were with the black woman and not her. It's so funny to me how all races think they know how to treat the black man better and they can give him everything his woman can't. But I digress. They both need to leave that man alone and she needs to stop trying having a baby competition before she fucks her kids up.
kim carter - yeah she seems more concerned about locking down those "pretty mixed babies" more than anything else, she knew after the 1st one that he was flip flopping and not doing right by her or the kid they already had or the other woman and the kids they had. So just be happy with having "the most beauitful mixed babies ever" and keep it moving but side note she should be more worried about who fathers these babies instead of how the babies gonna look smh #eyeroll #usoundclueless #mixeddontalwaysequalpretty
angela birdsong - To anwer your questions: 1. Black women are not intimidated by BIRACIAL children. I believe the mother aka BM#1, became upset because it seemed that maybe you were putting your biracial children before her children. A mother will protect her child no matter what. Unfortunately, racism can become colorism within a group. Light skin, in the past, has been viewed as "better" in many groups, such as Indian, Vietnamese, Blacks, Latinos, etc. No mother wants to think that her child will not only have to fight for position in life, but also for the father's attention. So that's MY answer to your first question
nerissa hall - Girl....you already know Clarice. This kind of thought right here is why black love (to this day) is revolutionary. Because now even black men feel in competition with white men do to the growing number of black women dating white mean to have "mixed" babies
trabad jones - Your busy worrying about a man who going back in fourth between the two of you. Your asking how to win him over, well he will most likely settle down with his first children's mother. Or a woman who has no kids by him. I think what's going on here is you are a drive by that got pregnant and that's where all the drama stems from. Honey he will never be only with you because he was never yours from the start!!!!
jenevey t robles - I don't like the composer of this email, all that mixed talk and her feeling the need to constantly put it out there clearly implies that she thinks mixed is better. Grow the fuck up and change your outlook on things because she were smart enough all that mixed talk would mean absolutely nothing seeing how today more than half of the people who make up the US are MIXED!!!
riickeema g potter - Wow, she tried to take this womans man thinking shes better because she white but got played. HaHaHa!!!It seems like his bm is used to him messing around on her or she would not have been checking his phone. They both need to let it go. If u lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas,feel me? Far as the mixed babies statements she need to go kill herself cause they still gonna have to deal with his trifling disappearing acts when he with his other women and kids.smh
angela birdsong - Question 2: Men keep going back to drama because they WANT to. He loves bm#1 & the family that they have......drama & all. When he has enough, he will leave. But as long as you continue to open YOUR HOUSE & LEGS, to this man, he knows he will always have a place to fall. He will fall between your legs for comfort and consoling and then go back home. I recommend that you stop having sex with him. He has shown you multiple times where his heart lies. If you were expecting "biracial" & "beautiful" children to make him stay with you, I'm sorry.
adinah day webster - Someone needs to tell...Ms.theyonlywantyall casyalldowhattheysay...not all mixed girls or boys are cute..its some ugly ass mixed kids out there and hers MAY BE ONE...FOOD FOR THOUGHT
kinnya berry - why are you calling your kids mixed? and black is beautiful weather with black on black Indian Mexican Puertorican what ever. all kids are beautiful not just yours and yes i understand completely why both took offence to it you won't understand ever because your white. my oldest is Arabic an black but that does not mean that she is better looking than any other child who parents are both black. i think you only went after him just to say your kids are half black. and i don't care what you cook for any man how much sex and head you give him you and the other baby mom are 2 dummies and he will not respect either onward of you because you nothing allow him to go back and forth. if you have any respect for your self which you dont you will allow him to see the babies and you won't have any other dealings with him. but you won't you will contuie to lay up with him and have another baby by him. and he is going to get tired of you and leave you alone
krissee kween brooklyn - Look white black green or polka dot, you sound ignorant. All children are beautiful. You really sound dumb as a box of rocks. That is insulting as hell. I have a biracial parent but pls don't call me or my dad or siblings or grands mixed... It's 2014. We are all beautiful and we are all various ethnicities if we were all to trace our heritage. Some genes will be dominant and you my dear have no control over it! Pls go have your baby(babies) and stop obsessing over someone else's man... You are DEAD AZZ wrong for all of this! Love the children... Not their color or features!
cicely marie - Why would you say our mixed child is going to be beautiful instead of just our child is going to be beautiful? No one gets specific like that for no reason. It sounds like you really are implying that your mixed child will be and look better than his other children. This type of ignorance is why your being blind sided to his mess. Your so busy thinking you're all that because your white that you're missing out on reality. A man will dog you no matter what race you are. And a man will love who he wants to love no matter what race she is. It's the inside that matters not the outside and it's obvious that your inside has rotted!!!
micah lomack - Clarice Nerissa right! Totally envy based, and here she has the nerve to state that it's clear black women feel in competition with mixed or 'bi-racial' children!? What a crock of shit! And how on earth could those children be close with her, intentionally or not, pointing out this 'huge' difference about them? She wants to get her 'opinion' out there because she obviously feels misunderstood but her words are setting her apart and showing where her train of thought is. Its obvious, in her opinion in so many words and regardless of her intent, that the bi-racial child has some sort of superiority over the full blooded child, otherwise her words would have been different.
- Here are my thoughts about banning smoking in public housing:
In my opinion, and I actually ha (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T17:59:00+0000)
Zane: Here are my thoughts about banning smoking in public housing: In my opinion, and I actually hate the smell of smoke, I think it is stupid and I will tell you why. Making people go outside the building to smoke will mean three things: 1. people hanging out in front of the buildings day and night, including way over in the morning, which can lead to drama. 2. residents and their children who do not smoke having to walk through a cloud of smoke to even get into the building and probably inhaling more second hand smoke than they ever would have through the walls and in the hallways. 3. the children playing outside and smelling smoke all the damn time and inhaling it. There is a big difference between a private home owner not allowing smoking in their house (I do not) and making it so that dozens or hundreds of people have to congregate outside to smoke. They are asking for drama and nonsense, and ten people exhaling smoke in the same spot is much worse than one doing it. Just my opinion.Comments:
zane - Not to mention that a ton of kids and adults that do not smoke will now have the scent in their clothes and carry them into their own apartments after walking through clouds of it, defeating the entire purpose of the exercise.
brianna hernandez - They should also ban filthiness while at it o_O
princess reels - If they had it like government buildings which you can't smoke within 50 feet of it would make a lot of sense and probably push more people to stop smoking!
nina tate - How do they propose to police that ban?
debbie dodson - I agree with you Zane
justicia prettymama brown - I absolutely agree
og bootsy - The poorest of the poor have sanctions put on their health! Next up no sex or giving birth in public housing!
angela bauer - Just stop selling cigarettes smh bet if ppl had to grow n dry tabacco then roll their own plenty would quit lol
chinillabean adedojah - They can have a smoking center that's closed off. Everyone who wants that tar can have it
lorraine hollier - I hate cigarettes, and matches. I don not like touching none
shawneequa thompson - I'm with you here. I personally can't stand the smell of smoke and wish they would ban public smoking. What you do in the privacy of your home is none of my concern.
collette pipkins - Its pretty common for family oriented apartments to ban smoking inside and around complexes. In my apartment complex now, which prohibits smoking, you will find a couple of people smoking on the far end of the parking lot (away from the kids) and I don't think its such a big deal. But then again, I don't smoke so its really not a personal issue for me.
og bootsy - Provide a safe environment stop trying to be someone's mother and father!
michelle renee leach - I am a smoker and I don't think it's right for your same reasons. Although the law will probably be that they have to be at least 25 feet from the building, I'm pretty sure that is not going to happen either. If they are going to have all these rules on smoking, maybe they should reconsider selling them. Oh yeah I forgot, it's about money.
leslieann jones leehue - My older son had a lot of nicotine in his system because of his father smoking in the house. Now my husband smokes outside so we don't have to deal with it.
arthur mckelvie - I agree with Zane
june burton - Not to mention the countless buts that wil be littered about the complex
og bootsy - Yall r insane! Condone this Tyranny!
sandy coward - I agree with you about it all. I was thinking the same thing. That's just asking for major problems.
sharné latrice - I disagree. I have lived in a home in which smoke is allowed I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to breath because of the secondhand smoke going through the ventilation system. The two seconds it take to walk a past someone smoking is nothing compared to breathing it in while in your own bed. Secondly there should be a designated place away from children's play areas and away from the entrance of the building. I'm sorry but smoking is so offensive to people who do not smoke. I hate it and nothing makes me want to murder someone more than breathing in their disgusting second hand smoke.
tanisha webb - Me being a respiratory therapist the problem with this is that they aren't even far away enough from the buildings to make a difference. Plus if they don't wash their hands and take off their jackets and whatever is affected by the smoke the child is still being exposed to second hand smoke. So they really should try to quick. What studies have shown is that small children have an increased chance of developing asthma from being around first, second and sometimes even third hand smoke even if there isn't a family history of asthma.
- Dear Zane,
This is an underwater sculpture, in Grenada, in honor of the African Ancestors th (Type: photo | Published: 2014-01-28T17:42:47+0000)
Zane: Dear Zane,
This is an underwater sculpture, in Grenada, in honor of the African Ancestors that were thrown overboard the slave ships during the Middle Passage of the African Holocaust.
Please 'share' to honor their memory. NEVER FORGET.
MY RESPONSE: Amazing and sad at the same time. Thanks for sharing!Comments:
christopher jelks - How come this is never on 60 Minutes??
meka still stand'n adams - I definitely have mixed feelings about this!! However it is Still Very Amazing!!
waynetria l. wiggins - I have always loved this sculpture.
tanesia venique - Wow!! Danya Walker do you know about this?
delorianprincess michelle shonte - Those women are shaped like real black women love it
theresa ferguson - So bittersweet...
shonda collins - Sad but beautiful
leon cain - Peace, honor & salvation.
mari licette - That is beautiful
barbara cansler - This is an amazing and fitting tribute
patrice harajukabarbiebadd glover - Marvelous....I would love to see it in person ....
ajoy d doingme - ASE' NEVER FORGET. ...AND LOVE YOUR ANCESTORS. ..If you can love a false white god/ jesus that you can't even prove ever existed you damn sure can love those who really sacrificed their lives and was brutally raped and murdered. ...Hotep
ducie lovingonlyme barnett - I never knew what it symbolized
i'am pilar - very deep :) I love this, but is so sad
tamiko nicole smith-rahming - So beautiful..eerie, but beautiful! Wow
yvonne jennifer johnson - Amazing sculpture in my parents home land.
erica atkins - Look unc Kyro Carter
shelly sargent - Beautiful but sad!
teona boyd - Jasmine. What's false?
frannie willis - Beautiful & amazing
tequila perrin - Ms Golden thought you'd be interested in seeing this
- Dear Zane,
So.... I'm 25 years old. I have a 8 day old daughter. She's fresh out of the oven. (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T17:38:46+0000)
Zane: Dear Zane, So.... I'm 25 years old. I have a 8 day old daughter. She's fresh out of the oven. She came 3 weeks early and boy oh boy, her birthday will forever be memorable!! The night my daughter was born, I was at Guy's crib. I've been with "Guy" for 2 years. We were watching Sunday football. The 49'ers got me so mad when buddy threw that interception which caused them to lose the game. They made my BP go up and I forgot that I was pregnant for a little minute.....until I started having contractions. Guy thought that I was faking the contractions until he saw that I was crying. Those contractions hurt like a biotch! He drove me to the hospital, dropped me off, and said that he would be back. It was too late for an epidural. My daughter was born 20 minutes later. That nigga NEVER CAME BACK until YESTERDAY!! Oh, but I got a surprise visit from someone at the hospital.... IT WAS HIS WIFE!! :-( Y'all don't want to know how we found out about each other! SMFH! This nigga played me for two fucking years! I never knew that he was married. He told me that he was SINGLE, but he lied to me like a little punk and messed with my heart! I just wanted to fuck his ass up so badly, Zane! His wife told me how she found out about me. She told me everything. He was living a double life and lying to both of us. She just had his baby girl 2 months ago and I just had his baby girl a week ago. I'm not mad at wifey. I can't believe that I'm the sideline chick, looking like boo boo the fool. I got played and yes I'm hurt and pissed the fuck off at him!! He never came back to the hospital so I gave my daughter my last name. I swear to god he's lucky that he didn't come back to the hospital. I would have fucked him up in the damn hospital. So yesterday, I called his wifey and she came to my crib. I told her to park her car down the block. She left her baby with her ole girl. We came up with a plan to confront him together at my crib. I called him, put on a show, and told him to come over so we could "talk." He came over in like an hour, which was good because I put the baby down to sleep. I opened the door for him and let him in and locked the doors. I punched his ass, then wifey came and started whooping his ass. Wifey went "skr8" up gospel gangsta on him so I restrained her and got her to calm down. "Guy" was flabbergasted because he didn't know that we knew about each other. We both had a lot of questions and he had the anwers, but he wouldn't answer our questions. He asked to see his daughter and I went and got her. At this point wifey is still upset and crying. I know that she's mad and she stormed out of my crib. I was left with "Guy" and my baby. Then I started crying just thinking about everything. This nigga is a liar, cheater, deceiver, and a heartbreaker!!He had the nerve to try to touch my face to wipe my tears away. I asked him how would he feel if a dude did the same thing he did to me to any of his daughters? He got upset and left like the little coward that he is. He didn't even answer my question. I'm upset because I let him convince me not to get an abortion when I found out that I was pregnant. I didn't want to be a single parent and now I am a single parent. His lying ass told me that he would be here for me and his daughter! Lies.com Even though I have a good career, I still wanted to raise a child with two parents. I don't want to be bitter, but I'm hurt. Some of these men are so fucking selfish. Now I don't know what to do. My daughter is here now and I fell in love with her. A part of me wants to hurt him really badly. I want him to hurt like he made me hurt, but then again my hormones are all over the place. What should I do? Set his house on fire? Just kidding. MY RESPONSE: You need to move on. It is a tough hand to be dealt but you have a new baby less than two weeks old. Fighting him, jumping him, or whatever you want to call it makes no sense. At least you got that out of your system. File for child support, continue your career path, and be a good mother. His wife has to do something about him; you don't.Comments:
carla hairston - KJ McMillian I knew I wasn't the only one who caught that lol!
devery r. hamilton - I started singin Profyle in my head lol
jasmine jaszy jazz - Wowwww u couldn't be that blind to not see u was sideline
gloria jarvis - Sorry to hear that but move on take care of your baby and u god will send u someone better and in time all wounds do heal good luck
barbra mosley - Everytime I read your stories, it just makes me not trust men more and more.
ashley kearns - Sorry that happened to you. Stay strong
clarissa j dandridge - While he is a liar & a coward, you can't lay all the blame @ his feet!! You were a single parent regardless b/c he was not your husband even BEFORE you found out about his wife. YOU played fast & loose with the "goodies" prior to making him (or allowing him to) show you his level of commitment. Raise your child as best you can, don't hold a grudge & let that man see his child & next time don't put the cart BEFORE the horse if you TRULY want a commitment!!
michelle rolle - Kudos for two women getting together instead of fighting. Stay in touch to facilitate the two sisters knowing each other. Other than that, get your CS order and keep it movin.
michelle rolle - And yes, Barbra Mosley these stories are scary as hell!
erskine smith - move on with your baby.
delores evans - Sad, sad, sad nothing worse than a lying azz man. Know that God has his hands on you and your daugther, karma will catch up w ol boy. Focus on your daugther and as Zane said RUN to the child support office.
diana jenkins chatman - I don't know if the men can take all the blame..there are some dumb ass females out here
love law - Folks calling the young lady hood because she was lied to? Don't be surprised if your high etiquette having A's have to write in to Zane someday. Life happens to us all. Smh
micaela pegues brightwell - Knew something was up when she referred to him as guy. I LMAO at the set his house on fire although i think she was serious LOL. I personally wouldnt have invited his wife to my home or been tussling days after giving birth. I also wouldnt of confronted him with my baby in the home. Things could of really gotten ugly. Your best thing to do is move on but make sure that both of your daughters have a relationship knowing that they are sisters when they get older. Honestly, i think that you will take him back if he came back. Your letter seems like you laughed the situation off. Question really is if there is a 3rd woman with a baby girl somewhere?!?
anthony miller - Sorry that he got u! Ll men dot do this! Women y cannot keep a man with sex! Why buy the cow if he is getting the milk!
starla lee - Reading some of the comments and I have to ask is any of you who said anything negative in any kind of successful marriage? Words like ghetto and hood and talking about the grammar is so irrelevant to the question she asked. You say there and read this whole story and you know it was long.....she can't abbreviate anything. She was expressing herself. Wow. Well I think she should move on and raise her child alone. Try to be the best example to your child. Next time go online and do some investigating before getting so serious with someone. And have birth control and use condoms to not only prevent pregnancy but to protect yourself. May God be with you. Good luck
kicha fogle - And I won't let chu back in my life so i'm takin.. the house, the car,the kids, and the dog...I want it all....kmsl....PROFYLE!
delores evans - Right and to the woman that commented that wow she had to know she was the sideline ummmm no. As previous comments have said it may happen to you one day! Judge not just pray for this young lady!
sonja bibbs - I was with you mommy until you start crying, do'nt let em see those tiers,I know it hurt but that's you're daughter 1st and she comes 1st. get yourself together and move on with your life.you can do it.
erica angie - Some of these women that comment on these posts.....are negative Nancy's!!!! Kudo's to this women for reaching out to someone for advice. I can understand how she loves her daughter, but still regrets not getting abortion. She feels like did not sign up for this situation. I hope she is able to get child support.
princess drake - I'm not going to comment on your situation because you clearly already know what your gonna do but to the women that claim you should have known must have never dated a man high in the business world not seeing your man for days is normal for so many women because of there line of work not to mention guys are sneaky I dated a guy for a year he told me he rented a basement apartment in his gma house moved me in after 2 months whole time his wife lived upstairs she wasn't allowed in his "man cave" and did not question it one day I was on fb and seen people saying sorry for your lost his gma had did I went around from outside because the basement for was locked from inside to go upstairs and low and behold his fukn wife his whole fukn life was up there she actually accused me of being a low and tried to get me arrested because she claimed I broke in there basement he disappeared for weeks came home to her and put all me and my kids stuff outside like it was trash to this day she thinks I was a liar and stalker
I am a 25 year old Black Teacher. My baby is in DSS custody for broken ribs and legs. I (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T15:52:10+0000)
Zane: Zane, I am a 25 year old Black Teacher. My baby is in DSS custody for broken ribs and legs. I did not abuse my now 7 month old who has been in DSS custody for 3 months. My baby and I was involved in a car accident on the interstate, 3 weeks prior to me taking her to the hospital due to her lack if appetite, back cracking noises, excessive crying and wheezing. She also spent the night at family members houses. I know some slept in the bed with her, maybe they rolled over on her in their sleep. I just could never imagine someone intentionally hurting a infant. I just know that I would never hurt my baby, God allowed me to carry her for 9 months and I do not believe that he will allow someone to falsely take my baby girl. Zane do you know anyone Columbia, SC that can help me (attorneys or anyone), because I have done everything I know to do and its not working. I do not have any money because I have missed so many days from work trying to get my baby back. Any help would be appreciated. MY RESPONSE: I am sorry that this is happening and I hope that someone can assist in that area. Your email is kind of confusing so let me ask the questions I am sure many will ask: 1. Was your child checked out right after the accident? Are you saying that she was not and that was how the ribs and legs may have been broken? If so, you did not notice anything different for three weeks? 2. Are you saying that between the accident time and the time you took her to the hospital, she stayed with relatives that may have broken her legs and ribs by rolling over on her? 3. Are they saying that you intentionally hurt your child or are they saying that you neglected her, or neglected to notice her injuries for several weeks? Let me say this in the defence of DSS. If you showed up at the hospital with an infant with no appetite, back cracging noises, crying and wheezing (surely from the broken ribs), and if her legs were also broken, they really had no choice but to take your child. Giving her back is something different if they determine that it was no negligence. I will pray for you.Comments:
lynese artis - What I'm getting is, she is trying to say, after I had to read it like 4 times to make sure. She is saying that her baby has been left with family members that confessed to sleeping in the same bed with her baby. And that it's dating back 3 weeks prior to the car accident. And then she is explaining that her and the baby was also in the accident. So I'm guessing her excuses for the injuries she explains is suppose to be the reason DSS took the baby. I think she need to give more details in her story because there are too many unanswered questions in between. These are the kind of posts that need to be long winded. Because you can't make an informed opinion without all the facts. I'm not so inclined to judge as of yet based off this half information. Please update Zane with the answers to the questions. Thank you writer in advance.
uptown kicknassfortheworkingclass jones - If your apart of the teachers union their I'm sure they would do something to help you as a member
joyce callahan - I'm sorry, but even if you did not intentionally injure your child, from reading what you wrote, you are a negligent mother. If you were in a car accident and didn't take your infant to the hospital to be checked out immediately, that's neglect. You are wondering if someone could have rolled on your baby when she spent the night. So not only are you negligent, but you are leaving your baby with negligent family members if NO ONE noticed this baby had broken bones! I think DSS did the right thing by removing this child from you. You sound irresponsible, and not ready to be a parent.
boss ladi - too many holes in this story which is more than likely why they put the baby in protective custody..
mrsracquel blackwell - 1st and foremost it is impossible to not notice broken ribs and legs in an infant u know exactly wht happen personally I shall keep the baby in my prayers in my opinion u are a possible threat to children and yourself if u do not believe u have a problem its just common sense having undocumented
accidents not going to doctors after the fact wth is wrong with
u*... I feel that a male mate has abused the child and u spent 3weeks trying to figure out a story once u realized it wouldn't
getbbetter And u may be a victim but the truth shall set u free.
U stayed with family your hiding from someone!
nijah victoria mitchell - Sorry you are going thru this. DSS will err on side of child. Praying for you
angel myers-adams - She probably didn't have the baby in a car seat.
jaymee ellis - I have two boys and two girls I'm speechless on this one plus my mother said if you ain't got nothing to say>>> shutUp
carmen etheredge nixon - Praying it works out. But try to keep your head up. They have to err on the side of caution.
tanya a rush - I'm not sure I believe this story!!
cee cee - Oh my! Well I want to be positive about this but this is just not adding up! I pray and hope all goes well with this situation for the mom & baby!
paula evans - Why did it take her so long to know something was wrong with her baby and why was the baby not taken to the hospital after the car wreck. Duh, common sense
green cece - Zane im with you. Theres just too many Maybes. Im just glad the baby is in a safe place until DSS can get down to the bottom of Who or What caused this baby's injuries. Hope to God this yng mother is telling the truth also hoping they will investigate every person that was takin care of the child. As to the mother she just need to do whatever it takes to get her child back if she didnt abuse her child. My heart goes out to that little Angel.
cindy mndz - How can you notice 3weeks later? If she was so badly hurt from the accident wouldn't you be as hurt as she is? Shh I am not judging you but I can nope when my dog is sick, you bet I will notice if something is wrong with my child imidiatly. You are not telling u the while story. Best of luck for you and for the infant.
christine richmond - ONE..NEGLECT. Dam nit. How do not know your baby by now. meaning .if she in pain ot hungry or wet whatever.
ty neshia jackson - this sounds weird, maybe shes leaving things out bcus its a letter but from what ive read it sounds suspects, as a first time mother u are always in a hospital or dr's office just to check the child out, idk about this one but ill pray for her
cherissa williams - Sorry this happened. I am personally a mandated reporter. Broken ribs on an infant is definitely must be reported. Considering the circumstances hopefully she will be able to beat this.
burt c richardson sr. - thats a rough situation but God is able n i will pray for you.....God bless
melissa rede - who in the world takes a baby to the hospital that long after a wreck!? Nothing else to say
camala bee - This is crazy. And I will and hope that she didn't neglect to actually notices the infants injuries for 3 weeks. If so, shame on you. If not, then I will pray that your infant is returned to you
camala bee - And idk what your race has to do with the situation.
- Hi Zane
I have quite a dilemma. I am 23 pregnant with my 2nd child. I was recently arrested exa (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T15:34:42+0000)
Zane: Hi Zane I have quite a dilemma. I am 23 pregnant with my 2nd child. I was recently arrested exactly one month ago. Me and the father of my unborn child are no longer communicating. He was cheating on me I finally found out and he mad that he got caught. I found out I was pregnant after finding that out and he told me I was getting an abortion. At first I agreed then he always made excuses as to why he couldn't pay for it. Well dec 18 I told him I was telling his parents I was keeping the baby. He told me they don't care about me or that baby that he told them I got pregnant on purpose and I was stalking him and that I was crazy and said his fam and friends now wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. So fast forward to dec 27th. I text his mom letting her know I was coming to speak to her she always told me ignore what he say and that I was always welcome in her home that he could not speak for her or his father. I get there after texting and he's waiting outside with his older bro. He comes banging on my car and talking trash I get out and that's when the fight started. He was open fist punching me in my face tried pulling my nipple ring out pushed me on the floor kicked me in my stomach and hit me in my face. I tried going back to my car he followed me I found a bottle opener swung it at him to push him away and then I threw it back in my car and called the cops. My best friend and my daughter watched and so did his bro. My best friend tried stopping him several times but to no avail he was much stronger. I cried. Told the cops what happened. I had injuries they never documented any. He had a small scratch on his hand and lied to them saying I came tried to slash his tires, cut him, then I left. And bc I left which I called and told the cops I had to pay my daughter tuition they believed his story. Took a pic of his cut hand and arrested me. I told them he knew I was pregnant. Told them he kicked me in my stomach. Showed them my scrapes and ripped shirt. I go to jail still. The officers were biased and were not on my side soon as I opened my mouth. I'm still tryna get justice press charges and get a restraining order. I talked to arresting officers supervisor and he apologized told me if he was there I wouldn't have been arrested the guy would have. I've been depressed by this wanting to kill my unborn child bc I hate the father. Then I heard him and his new gf the one he cheated on me with have been talking bad about me. Like it hurts. Should I continue to pursue charges against him? Should I try again to talk to his parents? Signed, Wanting justice MY RESPONSE: It seems to me that you need to stay away from all of them. After a month, it is probably not likely that you could get charges filed when police were on the scene and accessed the situation. It is unfortunate that they did not know all of the facts. Why contact his parents again? Weren't they right there at home when he was out there beating your ass on the front lawn? You need to prepare yourself for the fact that you will raise this child alone. You could pursue a restraining order but I doubt they will file charges. Good luck.Comments:
artemis ironhyde akabane-jwb - Omg..... Girl no.
sharitye renee curtis - Take some insurance out on that ass!!! N u know the rest!!!
veronica judy dixon - Good grief......!!!! Welp follow Zane advice lol all I have for now... nasty situation
kia gant - When making your decision, please keep in mind that if you keep this child you will be raising it alone. If you try and get child support you will have to deal with that low down man. You have to ask yourself if you want to deal with that behavior for the next 18+ years.
erica angie - This why I encourage everyone to be independent. Even if he chooses not to pay for the abortion your should be able to handle it yourself. I feel terrible about any domestic violence. Telling his parents isn't going to do anything.
chung ae lee - If it's important that you speak to his parents have them come to your house. Or even meet them in the community some place
nana tillman - Leave them ppl alone
tiara sanders - Just put him on child support when the baby is born. If he doesn't pay, report and they'll throw his low down self in jail. I agree that you should just distance yourself from all of them and just worry about you and your child. If you don't want to keep the baby, think adoption instead of abortion.
valerie johnson-thomas - Pray all God for guidance.
farrah taylor - Wtf, couldnt u have shown the police the text message proff of the mom askin u to come over? Proving u were invited over and not on some Bs? Smh leave all of they weird psycho asses alone!
nicole amy cleveland - She should have asked the mom to meet her in a public place to begin with, if she knew he didn't want the baby, its obvious he doesn't care what happens to the child. At least then she would've had witnesses.
misticious twixx daniels - SMH I hope he don't consider himself a man cowards only beat on women like this post about this dude is just got me angry
natasha iaintgottimeforthat kersh - Yes and sue him as well.....he want drama, give it to him.....
cheryl franklin - Dang the choice is up to you for get him, so you want the baby boy or girl ♡♡if so GOD will help you to raise the baby boy or girl amen asked your heart.
wanda fields - Wow im so sorry his happened to you. I hope things get better for you. Dont harm your child because you dislike the father. That baby didnt ask to be created. Move on hunny
carla hairston - Your first stop in a situation like that should be the nearest emergency room! I'm trying to figure out how a pregnant woman endures a brutal assault but doesn't seek medical attention? They would have documented your injuries. But that's water under the bridge. Any further communication needs to take place in a neutral public setting. Pursue a DNA test and child support and move on.
jullette r. samuels - Abortion is not a form of birth control!
teona boyd - Wow. Where were the parents when he was attacking you in front of their home smh doesn't sound like a family you would want your child involved with anyway. And don't worry about the new gf because if he beat u like that, she damn sure getting it too.
jowharah harris - I am 21 with similar situation but I jus want to let her kno first not to let ANY PERSON on this planet allow her to feel that way about her child..especially a nigga thts clearly nothing..give ur baby life...it is extremely hard nd I cry alot but I am proof it can b done..legally u can try nd get a temporary order of protection as I did..u have to go infront of a judge and tell ppl the embarrassing things he has done but it will b worth it all..u r not alone..leave tht where it is 4 now nd focus on u nd urs...u r 2 beautiful little peoples mommy now so YOU r IMPORTANT nd LOVED
keisha ladyk smith - Child Support and If he dont pay his ass will be in prison point blank period. Stay away from his ratchet as family. I dont even know his momma but I have no respect ofr her. His brother is a punk for standing there and watching him to act like a jackass.
shalonda spencer - Her best friend should come to court. I'm sure there will be a court date for assault.
- Great topic!
I just watched a segment on married couples who sleep in separate be (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T15:01:38+0000)
Zane: Great topic! Hello Zane! I just watched a segment on married couples who sleep in separate bedrooms from the moment they get married. The couples claim that it actually brings them closer together. As a single woman, whenever I do get ready to tie the knot, I wouldn't mind having that same kind of arrangement with my own relationship. I have always been the type of woman who has always been selfish with sharing my bed with boyfriend (other than sex, making love our whatever you want to call it) and hated to cuddle after sex. It's too damn hot! Lol! Let's just get it in, after its over we can catch our breath then go to our separate quarters, have a great nights sleep, then maybe sneak into each other's bedroom for another round or meet in the kitchen and talk over breakfast. I am just hoping that whoever I choose to spend the rest of my life with would be cool with these arrangements. Am I the minority here? What's your opinion on sleeping in separate bedrooms as a married couple? MY RESPONSE: Personally, I am not doing that but I know a lot of people who do sleep in separate bedrooms. Back in the day, married couples slept in the same room but in different beds. I believe that "I Love Lucy" was the first TV series that eventually showed them in the same bed. When the series first started, they had two beds. And I know a lot of my older aunts and uncles had separate beds when I was growing up, even though their guest bedrooms had larger beds. Looking back, I did not find it strange. I just thought it was normal. Now I think it is kind of crazy-LOLComments:
allison clennon - Why co-habitat with someone if you don't want to share a bed with them ?? You might as well live separately.
alicia lasha shaw - I just watched it to on GMA. I totally disagre. I think you live for the moment you get married you can't wait to sleep with your mate cuddle make love. The only time I'm ok with us sleeping apart is when he makes me mad.
teresa styres - me and ex had separate bedrooms. it was better that way. he snored and passed gas! i couldn't stand it. we hooked up when needed.
erica iamlola fierce-browning - I disagree with that arrangement. I mean get separate cars and closets! The bed is where you should feel special, wake up seeing each other first. Or been hugged in the middle of the night.
judy brown - Don't work with black men.
sparkle nicole - If we need separate beds then why are we together? If u need space stay single.
tara lynch-harmon - I asked my husband that and wad like hell no. Why not live in separate houses then! No I like having him there in bed.
mochalatee mochalatte turner - Whatever if his arse snore you all will have a different tune ijs nosleepforyourass.com.
tiffany fearfullyand wonderfullymade hinton - If we sleeping in separate beds, rooms or whatever, we're not living together...plain & simple.
yolanda jackson - My aunt and uncle slept in different rooms too, I never understood it. I couldn't have my husband in another room I love cuddling with him throughout the night.
deanna parsons - My grandparents and parents (my dad's snoring was out of this world) slept in separate beds lol I think it's unnatural. I can't sleep good unless I'm cuddled up with my man's big ass arm on top of me hugging me from behind
imani tucker maniboo - The only downfall bout sleeping in the same bed is sharing covers Lmao
michele marie clay - Same bed with me taking all the room. Cuddle time
mary duncan - I wouldn't do it.
mattie jeffrie - I like feeling my husband body next to me. We do not have to be wrap all up but I love the closeness of skin against skin.
kristina hinton - Lol my aunt and uncle have been together almost 29 years and stil sleep in separate beds. They have an incredible relationship too.
stephney soreal - Yeah I love sleeping next to my man! I come from a long line of comfort sleepers! I slept with my mom until I went to boarding school , my sister slept with my mom while pregnant! My 12 year old still must have human contact to fall asleep! My fault I used to hold her to fall asleep on my busooms , yes busooms not a error and continue to hold her after she was asleep & then her father let her sleep with him @ night!
erica ladiibug divaa - Right now, while I'm pregnant my husband and I sleep separately. It's because my body hurts and every little movement he makes I can feel. So I think that's ok for now. After I have the baby I'm sure we will be sleeping in the same bed again
kelly johnson reid - My husband wld prob go for it if we had the room. Lol. I love the closeness and being able to turn over and feel him in the bed. And that rare moment he turns over and puts his arm around me in the middle if the night is priceless
kristal spicer-hill - This is not for me. My fiancé and I have to touch even if it's our hands or feet
christy bracey-neal - Cuddling is part of being a couple. My husband and I love waking up to see the other at night. We sometimes talk and laugh until we fall asleep. I love that more than anything.
- Hi Zane! Im getting straight to the point. I have a problem initiating sex with my husband. We' (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-28T14:47:13+0000)
Zane: Hi Zane! Im getting straight to the point. I have a problem initiating sex with my husband. We've been married for only 10 months (together for 2yrs). We have a 1 year old together and 2 of his children living with us from previous relationships. Our 1 yr old sleeps with us due to space issues. These are my issues: our baby sleeps with us, we barely have any private US time alone (he works, im in school), when an opportunity does present itself, he is either playing his game or exhausted. So i feel selfish when even trying to hint for sex because i know he is tired or having his relax/me time. Plus when i try to move baby to room with sisters, she wakes up! She is so nosey lol. I am also guilty of being a little self conscious of my body/skills since ive had the baby. I just feel awkward trying to seduce him and trying to be sexy. Plus ive gained weight and feel like i smush him when on top. I know he loves me and craves the female domination thing from time to time...i just feel stupid doing it. Am i the only one? I know i need to work on me and my confidence first to be able to perform efficiently. I just feel like i lost my and drive and sexual motivation. I love sex with my husband (and him only), i just feel alone on this. The freak only comes out when sexing multiple times in a day, but breaking the ice is hard for me. I need that tap on the ass, that flirty text, that hug from behind...he just dont do those things (maybe cause of the kids/exhaustion idk). I realize that its both of us, but i was hoping u and your readers had some suggestions or if anyone experiences the same thing. MY RESPONSE: I am sure that many, many people are caught up in the same rut. It is normal for many. The two of you are going through an adjustment period. A lot of things happened in a short period of time, your hormones are still out of sync since the baby, you are taking care of other kids, and everyone is working or trying to improve their lives. No one can really tell you any detailed advice about your situation because you and your husband are going to have to sort through this. I suggest asking him what is wrong, telling him that you desire him to flirt and come on to you more, and possibly try to arrange a date night where you can spend some time alone. As for the baby, you are going to have to go through some drama for a few weeks until she gets adjusted in the other room. If you keep allowing her to run the show, she'll still be in there when she is five. Let her cry for a few nights. You are not hurting her by doing that. She will attach to her sisters and get used to being in there with them. Good luck.Comments:
karissa randle - Well lol the baby is a good source of birth control...............
antoinette burnett - And as soon as you do what Zane say one day just jump him when the kids not home girl just fuck it (nike) lol
rashetta michelle archer - But he got time to play the game but not to dick u down....he just not that into u sweetie...
ryan darnell flowers - Flirt with him. Send him texts. Get in his head..you see change.
emperorjustin mcgowan - hope yall work it out it does kinda suck having to initiate sex everytime
uronda s. wilfred - While he playing the game seduce him then, hopefully he pause that game or drop it all together. Embrace your body!!!!
briana shiningbright jamison - Use shower time.
kia gant - Been there. You have to flirt with him. Guys like that too. Just let him know how much you love, need, and crave him. Guys won't admit it but they like to be flirted with too. Keep it light. Getting the baby out is a process. Don't let her dominate your space. Put her a toddler bed in the other room. I had to struggle with that but you need peace.
deljere hall - One classic issue for having children before married. Get some confidence and get on top...
charise freeman - Send a flirty text/picture to him while he is working. Take a pic that is not a nipple or your clit but of your hand over your breast....tease a little. Send a pic of about 3 panties and say "guess which one I have on...if you get it right I will suck your dick in the car after you get home"..... things like that.... :) Hope that helps!
lisa thomas - Have you talked with him about this? Clearly, something is going on in his head. Don't assume that he's not that into you. Talk.
chakina allen - Just take it out and start doing whatever comes to mind ....the rest will come naturally. No words
deljere hall - Read Zane Sex Chronicles together
neccessary brown - I gained weight with my last child and it took some getting used to but now I am an absolute vixen! Teach yourself to first accept, then love your body. Stop picking yourself apart and start praising what you have. Eventually you will be fine
elaine johnson - I agree with Ryan..
michele marie clay - Rashetta Michelle Archer that's harsh. To the reader. Call him at work and tell him you coming to have lunch and be his lunch. Just tease him and play around for his lunch break and I bet you by the time you both make it home, he will see to it that all kids are in there rooms. Put the dresser to the door if you have too. Work it!
marisa garza - That doesn't mean he doesn't want her..shit life gets in the way...besides women really are more horny than men!! Do what Zane said an get u some dick girl...yall done got too comfortable that's all...relationships go through phases...change it now
dominique forde - No one can really give advice on this situation everyone is on the move to the money but I completely agree with Zane I say talk to him about how you feel it can only go up from there seriously if your husband loves you as much as you show that you love him then he will work to make you comfortable in the bed room just stating my opinion
sandra thought-provoking crawford - I say talk to him. Let him know how u feel see what he has to say
terri berri - If you're not ready to force the baby to sleep in the other kids' room, wait until she goes to sleep, then tell him you have something to show him in the bathroom. Sometimes, a random quickie is more than enough. And fun. He's YOUR husband, don't be afraid to act how you want with him.
mumma jackson - Zane said it best... When my now ex husband and I. Were going this thing.bi went and bought some lingerie. A coochie coupon booklet from Spencer's. But my son in his room early. So ee could the fretting drama over with. Left a coupon on the bed took a shower. Oiled the body down. Put lungerie on and went into the bedroom. Called him out if the living room. Telling him I needed to show him something. I haf for him. It went swell. Then I just used the coupons to get things started. Bought a few adult board games. . Things were swell. Until he got stationed overseas and cheated on me
- Whew! Finished my novel. Now I get to take the rest of the day off but I have to go right back (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-27T18:49:24+0000)
Zane: Whew! Finished my novel. Now I get to take the rest of the day off but I have to go right back to editing another book coming out this year tomorrow. It never ends but I love it. LOLComments:
tahirah henry - Great! I hope to experience that someday.
bridget pinkney - Can't wait to read it:)
shauna reneè smith - Zane can you please respond to my email titled emotionally drained?? Thanks
devin brintley - Keep up the Wrk, love ur Wrk, I wish their was a sequel 2 skyscraper Tho... ;-)
tomeya coker - Yayy!! Does that mean your favorite fans get to read an excerpt from it?
quesha j - Congrats! Can't wait to read it!!!
lucille jones - I'm Ready for more..
andrea everette - LOVE YOUR WORK!!!!
monica leary jenkins - Yay I love me some Zane books !
antoinette robinson - Its rewarding at the end.keep on friend.
crystal scorpion-freak pearson - I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!!!
domi crews - You make it seem so easy. I hoping to finish my first on by the end of the year. Lol
ke'vanya keke reese - Well have a great day off!! U gotta love what u do or it wldnt be great!! Cant wait to read it w/ all ur sneak peaks, def got me intrigued!!!
tonia hatersfree farmer - Zane congrats but i need to talk to about publishing my book wen u get a chance can u give me a call 708-898-6372 thanks
christina drake - i cant wait to read it.
tamica thomas - And so do I can't wait to read it have you announced the winner of the contest yet?
valeda shaver - Sneak peek on the book
charli young - 👆👆 I agree...
serena buffaloe - stop playin'....U LUV it !!!
kristy wood fowler - I love your books! Can't wait on the release. Date, please!!!!
latoya mckinzie - How would I get in touch with u? I would love to interview you for our Magazine Swagher. U can check the magazine out at Swagher.net. It would be a tremendous blessing for us if we would be able to interview you. Thanks
- After reading the list of Grammy winners from last night, I realize that I am far behind on mus (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-27T15:12:43+0000)
Zane: After reading the list of Grammy winners from last night, I realize that I am far behind on musical groups and singers. Have to check out Daft Punk. They cleaned up. I am sure my oldest kids know who they are but I am clueless. I am going to get up to speed-LOLComments:
tasha marie - Daft Punk has been around for years they are not a new group!
angelina dela montanya - Girl u not the only one...im clueless too
kemira hurt - Love daft punk for years. They did the soundtrack for Tron :legacy... Worth checking out.
All of the songs nominate for song of the year I'd never even heard of. I feel so old and out of touch......
tymey yarberough - Lol..me too! I'm definitely feeling my age! Geesh
ratasha nicholson - I Loooovvveee Daft Punk
angee lar - Don't feel left out, u're not the only one that's never heard of them. The music of today..
elisheba onedropink israel - Daft Punk is actually old. They are just now gettin accepted in the mainstream music
talisa frazier - Daft Punk has been out since the late 90's
cassandra nixon - Trust me, you're probably better off not knowing who half of them are
brandy chigal nicole - Your kids might not know who they are...they been around for some time now.
chalae satawhite - DAFT PUNK is sooooo dope and have been out for over a decade, and they are sampled a lot (for example stronger by kanye was a sample of their song "harder better faster stronger") Score for creativity!!!! ♥ them!!!!
alyssa marie mcdonald - Daft punk is amazing they do a lot if work in the hip hop world. You would be surprised.
lisa kidd - yes Daft Punk has been around for a while. There performance last night was great! Nile Rogers and Stevie Wonder ....amazing callabo!
carey anne torrens - I love daft punk ... and my kids do too!! They have been in mainstream music for along time now!! and there beats are still rockin it today!! ;)
krys tng burrows - i have never even heard the name daft punk until last night...
kialynn shipley - I've heard of most of these artist, I'm just not a fan of the music that is popular today. Except Katy Perry! Love her!
kasha rose - The Grammys are not what they use to be.
brittny roberts worknprogress - I was excited for Macklemore!!!!!!
nareen ayers scott - There were SEVERAL groups/artists that I had NEVER heard of. My husband looked at me and said... "I don't even know WHY you're even watching the Grammy's" . LOL!!! And I fell asleep on them!
tangyika brawley - Who????? & what they sing? I'm have to ask, my daugthers
marcy rena winters - Those winners are the industry picks I really think real people don't listen to that stuff
- The novel that I am finishing up today has a man who truly loves his woman. Most of my readers (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-26T19:30:42+0000)
Zane: The novel that I am finishing up today has a man who truly loves his woman. Most of my readers always say that they hope they can find their ___INSERT NAME HERE___ after reading one of my books. Yet, when a man actually presents himself as loving, supportive, trustworthy, and receptive, he is a weak man or a punk ass. Shame on it all.Comments:
nitza sabater - I would much rather have a man who can talk like a grown adult about his feelings. Its an admirable trait in my opinion. Some women can't handle that its top much, or they grow up with the mentality of men are supposed to be hard and rough.
keiki riley - They just need to find the right woman. It goes both ways. There are some good men and there are some good women out there.
angela love - Funny thing abt that post: maybe his woman is insecure. Staying up all night learning to fix her hair and make up after carrying a child maybe her way of dealing with being depressed or unsure of having all those kids...
cierra page - I just want to know when Afterburn 2 is coming out?
shestunts nolie - please trust me.. whn mine is revealed when I'm blessed with my man I definitely won't call him a weak r a punk ass because he's doing all the right things!!! #smartwoman #sillygrl
danny frederick - Its amazing how many "SINGLE MEN & WOMAN" can give advice on a married couples situation but yall aint got a mate urself.....I never take advice from someone who aint even on my level. Thats like a broke person giving someone who has money advice on how to get more money. STFU!!!!
day day - Zane I am dating a man who is loving, supportive, and receptive... but trustworthy??? Idk... I feel he is hiding something and that won't work with me.
amberries smiley ross - True I love when a man knows how to express himself
cheli' torea - Zane I know this is off subject but I beg of you and all whom may see this link to pray for my family. My cousin Danielle Moye Miss'Understood, her 8yr old son and her boyfriend was killed Friday evening in a 19 car pileup in Picayune, Ms. Right now her 4yr old is clinging on to life. Please lift Jeremiyah Moye up in Jesus name thankshttp://www.sunherald.com/2014/01/24/5284048/officials-warn-drivers-of-icy.html
keith cook - A man learns those traits and qualities from watching how his father treats his mother
devoira davis - I wish I had emotional man! Some of you women take for granted the little things. Now I love my man dearly and he is who he is, but it'd be nice to get that emotional thing more than once in a while. Enjoy it!
michael strother jr. - Thank you, Zane.
carlos evers - Zane many of these women are misguided and confused. A man can love his wife, women or girlfriend, be sensitive to her needs and be the man of his house. Real men don't give a damn about what others think. I see so many lonely women because they compassion and sensitivity to extends pass the bed room.
prince-ali ababwa - I can attest to this Zane Strebor! I guess a lot of woman I meet are so used to thugs that a gentlemen seems uncommon, but it is what it is! *kanye shrug*
yoddit nohearthasfeelings mclean - Right?! IT's soooooo fucked up. All the good qualities in a man, society, especially our black communities, wanna call em a faggot. all the bad qualities and he's the man!! smhhhhhhhhhh.
jessica hafford - Found mine and I love him so! Our wedding in Hawaii is going to be amazing! :)
carlos evers - A real women can caputure his heart. See that kind of man can feel!
donnette lynch - A Real man...is all that in a post. If that is wat we define as a weak man??? Then i desire for a weak man any day before wanting to deal with a unconsiderate, unloving macho man.
benjamin stewart - I went from being with a woman who thought me being romantic and selfless was a sign of weakness to being with a woman who appreciates me making her feel loved and appreciated..too many women telling men to be a man without ever having a real man in their life to show them what one is supposed to do
larry meyhem morgan - I used to think that women didnt want good men ALTOGETHER. I've been studying the psyche of women and Im finding out that thats not ENTIRELY true. They infact DO want a good man, they just dont want to MEET HIM AS A GOOD MAN ALREADY. They want to be the one to change him into the good man they say they want. So when you hear a woman say "I want a man that does XYZ", what they really mean is "I want to MEET a man who is the EXACT OPPOSITE of XYZ so I can be the one to change him and then he can only be XYZ for me and only me." Stupid logic I know. In other words, if women were football coaches and they had an opportunity to choose to coach either the Denver Broncos or the Washington Redskins, they would choose the Redskins and try to change them into a Superbowl team. And then after 3 losing seasons and no superbowls, they would get mad and say "ALL teams aint shit. ALL teams are doggs. Theres no good teams out there." Lol. Thats what women do when it comes to dating and choosing men. No difference. Lol
lena nash - he wasnt weak. Just Real
- It is funny that the same women saying that a man couldn't have written an emotional email prob (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-26T19:01:19+0000)
Zane: It is funny that the same women saying that a man couldn't have written an emotional email probably read novels by men all the time, like Eroc Jerome Dickey. I publish more male authors than females. Some turn in novels so long that I have to split them into 2-3 books. Others are so emotional that I cry when I edit them. For the women who feel like men cannot express themselves articulately, you are hanging around the wrong men. Shame that I have to repeat this every time a man actually says he is in love.Comments:
fresha beats - Lynn e Harris was one of them, emotional brothers
melvin thompson - You know you have to tell black people 6 times until they get it......hard heads
zane - And I meant ERIC before anyone goes in. I have known him since 1997 so it was a typo-LOL
tra cie - SMH...some of the best authors are men...written under a female ghost name..I know a few...
faith duruamaku - 6 times Lmao ...hahaha
renee poland - Only people that never seen a man in love has doubts about how deep he can love.. I'm blessed that someone loves me like that
bella rose-johnson - I wish more men would put their egos aside and articulate their feelings and thoughts more often. This would take the guess work out leading us to have quality dialogue and therefore better relationships.
author david long - a man isnt supposed to eloquently express himself in love. There is a stigma that is built up that if a man can do that then he is soft, weak etc etc. damn shame though that some people can be so closed minded
anthony poole - Well said Zane Strebor
bianca davenport parks - yes eric Jerome dickey is a great writer i get his books all the time!!
alisha n hatcher - Hes a really good writer.. love his books.. the first book i read by him i was 15.. and it was by accident.. #betweenlovers #pageturner
divinely loved nichole williams-upshaw - It's very sad they so many woman can be so close minded....Zane you are right they are hanging around the wrong men!
mark madskills davis - And you wonder why most men DON'T(not like they can't ) express themselves emotionally. They are seen as less than a man if they do.
shelia lindsey - Sometimes people can be so self righteous, thinking they know everything. It's so easy for them to make broad assumptions based on little or no evidence.
nubia bornfree - I aint gon lie, i doubted the validity of that post... but it seemed genuine...
roshundra mccaskill - It's sad and it all starts from childhood! Little boys are made to believe if they cry or show emotions they are being a punk! I hate to hear somebody tells their little boy "stop crying like a punk" and "boys don't cry".
joy powers - But when men do express themselves people call them weak! Just can't win with some people!
kathleen robinson-hamm - A man that shows his true emotions is a real man!!!
karen moore edmond - Zane, I wasn't gon' go in on Eroc, but I did giggle (smile) #AddictedToReading
laquita brown - Men are more emotional writing more than anything....so it's believable that a man wrote the email.
ericka grindformine cato - That's the mindset of a woman that never had a honest man in my opinion smh
- Okay, damn, the women are chomping at the bit to respond and all the men so far are calling him (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-26T18:32:35+0000)
Zane: Okay, damn, the women are chomping at the bit to respond and all the men so far are calling him weak. You all can respond on the last post. The man really wants advice, not to be called a punk.Comments:
miz morris - He is soft as hospital cotton, though. Ijs..
tonita lawson - I knew it would be crickets.
ginger crazzysxycool - Amen Lng Hurr Dnt Curr
ghinwa simmons - This guy cannot protect a cat has an ambition of a duck and definetly has a vagina
angelica jordan - I swear some of these women don't follow directions. That type of attitude is why some men can't even be open. Men have feelings too. Shit.
classy brown - Where is the post? Im looking for it.
ari dominique - Lng Hurr Dnt Curr she responded to that question. She doesn't have a way to control who comments (male or female) without completely disabling comments
chereese barrett - @Zane you know they weren't going to listen. Lol!
ari dominique - All she can do.is ask women not to respond and see if they comply
carla snow - He a cry baby Zane
tonita lawson - Lng Hurr Dnt Curr, men don't respond. Experiment cancelled. They only call names, or ignore it. That ain't advice, that's nonsense.
gabrielle marie luke - It doesn't make sense for Zane to even say men only because some females can't comprehend that and still put in their input. Damn.
felicia blessedbyfar sly - Dude, just enjoy the time u have with her, if she still does those things for u after all the kids n years, guess what genius she's with u cuz she love u n it's where she wants to be!
jamielynn redd alford sca - I was really looking forward to a man's view, but it seems like some just wont open up to give a more in depth view.
theoneandonly ms-price - I don't think he's soft, just insecure. I don't know his background but I would suggest he find what he's good at and start from there, maybe start a landscaping business or some other type of self employment opportunity. I believe this would help him become more stable and feel like he's contributing...
felicia walston - At least this guy isnt laying back waiting for her to come up to eat off her!... ijs
odetta king - Really if this dude were a woman, she would be called insecure. Count your blessings, stop whining about the small stuff and man up. You dont need a chisled body to be sexy or dress in designer suits. But acting like a Tender Roni will def start to drive a woman away.
channita a leaston - Why is it wrong when men express their emotions? Are they not human to? stop calling men pussies and weak when they ask for help. Just wrong
mark madskills davis - I didn't call him a punk but it's sad that it's impossible for women to hold back & just read a post specifically geared for men. SMH
k queendiva white - Dayum Zane clearly asked for mens opinions only on that post!!!! Wow!!!! The man is not a punk, dayum he is expressing his fears! He's human! smh
lashun johnson - Thank you Zane because I was feeling bad for him!!!
- MENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ONLY COMMENTS PLEASE. LONG BUT DEEP.
I am a 30 y/o man, (Type: status | Published: 2014-01-26T18:23:41+0000)
Zane: MENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ONLY COMMENTS PLEASE. LONG BUT DEEP. Dear Zane, I am a 30 y/o man, married to my highschool sweetheart of 13 years (8 yrs married) We have a bunch of beautiful kids and recently moved to paradise due to health reasons... I'm finding myself in a familiar place right now, usually after my wife has a baby she goes into grind mode. She exercises like crazy, she cleans, she becomes more social, she's fucking beautiful, she gets reacquainted with herself, she dresses better, she emits a "to die for aroma", her makeup game and hair be on point, she stay up all night either reading books, watching "how to videos" on YouTube, playing with her make up and different hairstyles. Other people instantly find her more attractive and strong for having so many kids, and its easy to fall in love with her cause she's such a cool friend, she's optimistic, a go getter and is so motivated...."OKAY WHATS WRONG WITH ANY OF THAT? MEN WOULD KILL FOR SOMEBODY LIKE THAT!" It's me... she does things for herself, not to impress me, if she dresses up for me or whatever its for me and I know she did it for me ( lingerie, a dress on a date, my favorite perfume etc.) but she's doing this to better herself, to get to know herself and basically...I don't deserve somebody like that. I couldn't pull somebody like that, I can't approach someone like that on the street, so I don't feel I can maintain her and keep her interested in me for long. Maybe I've been trapping her by getting her pregnant without even knowing it... I'm scared she would out grow me, her sense of urgency far exceeds mine. Usually she's my partner that let me take the lead but during these times, she's in the driver seat and I'm in the back. I have female friends in a similar situation of power/control/independence while in a marriage, and I know carrying the financial burden is much on them but I talk their husbands and kills them that they can't do anything, that even when they get a promotion, they can't provide more than their wives do, that they can never be her knight in shining armor. I don't consider it as oppression or sexism, its nature, women literally chose a man that can physically protect her, and being in such position and stature can make one feel inadequate. I'm never saying give him the reigns just because he's the man, that's stupid, but in a partnership both parties especially a man wants to contribute an even portion and to be her man, not her boy or son. Financially with us that's not the case, but I feel like her optimism is far beyond mine and I can be left behind instead of in the passenger seat and I'm scared she may not want me anymore someday. I may not be enough, like I was saying if we just met today I couldn't secure her. A strong independent black woman is the most intimidating thing on earth because you are beautiful and strong and don't desire anything less. Y'all don't want to wait on or train a man and shouldn't have to tbh, that just means a man gotta get his shit together right? But it would be easier for a man with a degree and his own everything and just as established as she is to do so, and I'm not that. She knows my past and why things are the way they are, we grew up together, but love goes so far. I'm not a bum or anything, but I have flaws and I'm scared. Its not a fear that she'll ever leave me for someone else, I fear that she someday could find the energy to leave me period (if I'm in the state I'm currently in). Men see confidence and beauty in women over her size and body type (potential mates, not one night dates)... if YOU ARE a size 18, of course no one would like you, but if you are beautiful, strong, funny, sexy, well dressed Queen that "just so happen" to be a size 22, men would crave and desire you. I am so attracted to my wife, but I am so scared of her too. She has the hunger to lose weight and start her own business with or without me cause she's been down recently, and I (so to speak) hadn't had such adversity to drive me to where I want to be. Nothing has been taken away from me like a guy fresh out of jail, they have the utmost desire and craving to succeed, I desire but the work ethic isn't there. I can try to get my body toned up to match her but still my hair doesn't grow I can't afford to buy any suits and ties and that's how I want to dress as a grown man and I feel like I won't be desirable otherwise. I'm scared, I love who she's becoming but the difference is she usually do it for me, but this time she's doing it for the betterment of herself and I know I need to be on board with it, but I don't have that natural push like she does. I fear the most we will grow apart and she might desire someone else for the moment to see if its possible. We've been together since 17 so when our friends went through the "get it girl" stage growing up, she didn't, and she desired to explore it a few years back when we almost split because of an affair I had. We've been through marriage counseling and have had a break through and are now able to communicate without the fear of hurting each others feelings and with respect. If I was another man and she came across me I would not let her go! We have a big beautiful family, a new home, a new baby in a new place but I feel that love and respect is just not enough to carry us another 10 years. She is my everything and I'm so scared. Sorry for rambling but I thought you wouldn't mind me sharing this with you.Comments:
michael allen - she might leave you for being so soft
zane - Hmm, Larry Felton Jr. and Michael Allen, could you offer more insight for him? Women are being silent because we want to know how men really think. More than one line would be appreciated.
zane - Linda Jackson, flag on the play.
tasalina young scott - Wow....is all I can say!!
christopher jelks - A massive majority of women don't want a weak man..as Morris Chestnut said in 2 can play that Game..The Big Draws
da boss - PUSSY MAN UP DAMN.NO WONDER WHY BLACK WOMEN LAUGH AT BLACK MEN. TOO DAMN WEAK, GET IT TOGETHER
dawaine whyte - Sound like he got a good thing going and he just don't know how to appreciate what he got
sasha stanfield-oruaga - This man has fears as a man would if do no feel as if he is adequate enough to be "the man" he believes he SHOULD be to his wife. Although he accepts his flaws he's afraid his flaws may cost him his best friend--his wide; that she may out grow him. He need to find a project or something NOT someone that can be for him. She's doing something to better herself but he needs that same drive and that's what he's venting about.
owen clinton - If you love her as you say you do you will grow, not for her but because you want to as well because she is opening you to see things in yourself that should make you want to grow
lynn seabrook - Zane, I'm so mad at you for not allowing us to comment...
michael allen - I would say if she haven't left him yet, keep doing what he's doing. Try to better yourself as she is. sounds like you need more ambition and confidence. She obviously loves u and u must be doing something right for her to still be with you.
grace nunie clark - I don't think she will leave you because of her success but because of your fear that she is gonna leave one day, if that makes sense. Just be confident that your wife is YOURS no matter what and things should be fine ! Also try and do better become her equal !
levia davis - I feel you, but if you all love each other, you supposed to uplift each other and be strong for each other. It's a reason why you all got married, so stop acting like a Bitch!
ghinwa simmons - She should leave you pussy ass attitude you are not a real man your a lil boy bitch grow up
stephan rigby - You wine too much and sound very insecure
anthony poole - He needs to step his game up....Women can since when a man is weak or insecure and it's a major turnoff to them. If she's stepping her game up he needs to do the same..Remember if you don't take care of home someone else will....
ebony manuel - It sounds like u have a beautiful wife and a lovely family. Please dont mess it up because of ur insecurities. This is something that dont have to be. Enjoy ur wife and love her.
stephen barsovereverything woodard - u have some serious insecurity issues that u need to deal with
zane - Okay, damn, the women are chomping at the bit to respond and all the men so far are calling him weak. You all can respond on the post. The man really wants advice, not to be called a punk.
micera henry - I'm sorry But I gotta say this..didn't she say only men comment? SMH
andrea hobbs - Why can't women keep quiet when asked to?