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- 1) Announcing the child's death on social media.
Don't do this. Please. Doesn't matter how acti (Type: link | Published: 2013-12-14T18:28:21+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 63)
Mothering Magazine: 1) Announcing the child's death on social media. Don't do this. Please. Doesn't matter how active the parents might be on Facebook et al; it doesn't mean they want to share their news on this forum, and it doesn't mean they want you to do it on their behalf. See #2 for two reasons why this might ran...Comments:
Corrina Abbott Milito - As someone who *has* lost a child, I find this list incredibly short sighted. We ABSOLUTELY understood that, even when the gestures were cringe-worthy, EVERYONE was well intentioned and that really helped. So @Molly Doherty, I think you're totally right in your sentiment and @Casey Hass, experiencing tragedy doesn't instantly strip one of the ability to be empathetic and appreciative of all kinds of support. The death of our son was the greatest loss we'll ever endure but it didn't rob us of the tiny amount of compassion it takes to see that people don't know what to say and don't always say the right thing but love us nonetheless. And to the blogger who compiled the list, to suggest that there are hard and fast rules to follow in this situation is painting with an ignorantly large brush. No two families grieve the same way. Ever.
Crystal Elaine - And don't make it about you if it's not your child: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
Amy Price - I always appreciate understanding how others are dealing with grief. We are all different in how we handle the loss of a child though and these lists don't apply to us all.
We lost our 5yr old daughter a little over 10 weeks ago and very little of this resonates with me. And I especially struggled with understanding #4. Other people's joy is not something I begrudge. I learned that from my daughter.
That said, I certainly respect other people's journey and needs through this difficult process.
Marie Monday - Molly, I understand what you are saying but now that you have read it, "know better - do better", no? As someone who has had a late term miscarriage of twin sons, these were spot on for me. And even though everyone had the best intentions with their condolences, some of them made me even more upset and often times angry. This list could have been very beneficial to friends and family at such a devastating time.
Karen Euper Careaga - The worst part is when friends don't know how to react and disappear from the parents lives, when they need the support of friends most! I'd suggest not worrying about what to say or do and just be present and supportive!!!!!!!!
Tia Wood - I think the only one I could agree with is #5.. but even then sometimes friends just don't know what to do for you. All the others would just be pointless to get upset about. I had enough hurt in my heart to worry about silly things like people posting on FB or what they wore to our son's memorial service (at least they came!). Everyone grieves differently and just because he was my son doesn't mean other people in his life didn't love him and didn't need to grieve in their own ways. I feel this list is just a waste.. I do not have time to stop and be angry about unimportant things. The only anger that I will forever hold in my heart is the anger that my son was taken too soon. I have peace and happiness in the rest of life.. I have 3 beautiful children that I still get to kiss everyday and a life full of possibilities. No time for holding grudges.
Tashina Benning - Amy Price, that kind of loss is just unthinkable. I have a son around that age. Breaks my heart to see the words. I am so sorry for your loss.
Emily John Eschweiler - I think this article and the comments illustrate that each bereaved parent is different. Personally, I would be bothered if people DIDN'T include pictures of their kids, or if they had worried about what they wore to my sons funeral. I also sincerely appreciated that his passing was shared with others and was humbled by and grateful for the outpouring of sympathy and cards from not only friends, but also from friends of friends.
Grace Ahmed - I appreciate the intention of this list.. but people do all process grief in such different ways. My son died before the big social media days, but I actually think I would have liked to see it; one of the hardest things for me was that nobody knew, the world just kept spinning... And I had to explain to a gazillion people I ran into for like the next two years.. I personally wouldn't have minded an announcement or two going out... And how people dressed at the funeral didn't bug me at all, but the folks saying how he was in heaven with Jesus bugged me, a lot. In the end I'd say take these rules with a grain of salt, and use the rule "be sensitive to the parents." They may not be helped by by you would find helpful. I think discouraging people from asking what they can do to help is probably the worst advice on here. I didn't need meals & whatnot, and a bunch of people NOT asking how they could help but just "helping" would've pissed me off. Mostly, I needed people to just hang out with and have a cup of coffee and act semi-normal, not try to console me so much, let me talk, laugh, cry...
Lesley Smallwood - I think that a lot of people are VERY AFRAID of what to say or what to do and so they don't make contact.So being absent can also be very sad for the families involved.
Jasmine Margaret Bagdadi Waidalowski - I did not read the article, as I cannot even get through these comments without crying, and I have to work soon.
I cannot fathom the loss of a child, and hope that I never have to. From the bottom of my heart and soul, I wish you peace and love. Xx
Jeanette Westhoff - Theresa Mason, hugs to you.
Nellie Guthner - #1 depends entirely on how it is handled. If the parents have asked a friend to spread the word (and thus save them hours on the phone calling everyone to tell them that way), or gotten permission to spread the word, then there is no problem. #1 is only an issue if a "friend" takes it upon themselves to blather private news all over the internet. I wouldn't call a person like that a friend in the first place.
Nellie Guthner - Okay, so I have a few thoughts on this. Being a military family, that moves a lot and is not close to family or friends, we depend on social media to stay in touch. Our dear friends lost their daughter last year, and I was really glad they chose to tell everyone on FB about it because otherwise I would not have known and could easily have made a slip up in a letter or comment to them out of ignorance. Also, unless the death of the child happened very near a holiday that would normally include the sharing of family pictures, really?! You're really gonna ask people to NOT enclose a family photo because the grieving parents will be offended and hurt by this?! This one bugs me a lot because while I understand no grieving parent wants their nose rubbed in their loss, they are also capable of being mature enough to realize these cards are sent out in large quantities to friends and family and they can simply remove the picture from sight. I know that sounds cold and hard, but all I have seen the last decade is the "poor me/intitlement" syndrome. Life happens, all the time there are bad and good things and we need to not impose our XYZ on everyone around us and label them as horrible if they happen to mess up. Death sucks, I understand this very well. We have lost over 13 people in the last 8 years, most of them family. At no point did anyone elses reaction, comment, etc, hurt me more than the pain of the loss. Some things were certainly annoying and it took me a while to come to grips with the fact that some folks are obtuse and thoughtless, but that they had good intentions over all. Lets all just try and be understanding in times of loss, and take a moment to slow down from our own lives to see how we can comfort those that lost someone in theirs...that is a far better solution that the points I saw listed in this blog.
Katrina Gibbons Baluta - http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2012/03/what-you-can-do-to-help-grieving-family.html
Shauna Bryant Yoder - #5 was the worst for me. But, equally awful was the promise to do something concrete and then never following up. #1 would have been horrifying. I can't believe people would actually do that.
Krystie Keller - I lost a son when he was age 22. It devastated me. But I frankly couldn't care less if anyone I loved did any of these things. I knew their hearts were in the right place and their clumsiness was just a sign of how deeply they felt for me and wanted to help or connect. Why make others feel bad about trying to find a way to reach out?
Riannon Rodrigues - When our four year old, Jared, died ten years ago, everyone was around for a few weeks and then said to let us know when we needed help and disappeared. It is very important for others to contact the parents after the loss of a child. Even if it's just to say, hi I thought of you and your child today. And the holiday cards still get me some years. His 15th birthday is tomorrow and it's hard to see other people's smiling children when I'm grieving mine. I just put them away and open them when I'm ready. Thanks for the article. It was pretty spot on.
Karen Kissinger Adamo - I buried my daughter 4 years ago at the end of November and a lot of people sent me pics of their babies on holiday cards within a week of the burial. It hurt so much. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone for feeling pained by this.
Best Fed Babies - Hugs and Love to everyone who has lost a child. <3
Amy Price - ^ love that Article Crystal.
- As you may have heard, another "shocking" photo from Gisele Bündchen has everyone talking. ;) (Type: link | Published: 2013-12-13T20:03:22+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 40)
Mothering Magazine: As you may have heard, another "shocking" photo from Gisele Bündchen has everyone talking. ;) I can't help but love her casual presentation of such a controversial topic. What do you think?Comments:
Elaine Mañas - I don't think she is multitasking. They are doing things for her. When she uploads a picture of her nursing her baby while unloading the dishwasher then I'll call it multitasking.
Mary Langbeen - I live in a bubble. Why is this shocking? Or up for debate for that matter?
Molly French - She is a real mother. It's her profession to have people do her hair and make up. I an sure at home it's different. Good for her I wish more celebs would post these photos so that it would not be a controversy
Nicole LaRace - I really don't get why everyone is up in arms about the fact that a model is having her hair, makeup and nails done. She is clearly being light-hearted when she says she is "multi-tasking". If anything, it's just a lovely photo of a mother breastfeeding while she goes about her business. For Gisele, this is her business. There really isn't any reason to get all bent out of shape trying to argue about what's real work and what isn't.
Missy Gardner - i love that she even *had* her baby with her considering her crazy schedule/job.. let alone nursing?! in public?! and the baby is a year old?! yes! good for her! this society needs more nursing mothers, nursing older babies.. in public! get used to it world.. boobs are for babies (mostly :-P ) bring it on!!
Tanja Wray - Nothing controversial ?
Just some jealous women making something out of nothing....
Laurel Salvi Raffetto - And for those who are put off by her "glamorous" profession- do your research. Modeling is hell sometimes, and this is probably one of several hours of prep that she goes through for a typical shoot. Working mothers take all forms and colors. Respect.
Rachel Chylewski Garlinghouse - I think it's beautiful!!! And it's hardly shocking. If it comes down to it, it's a mom feeding her baby. And that is beautiful. And the "haters" need to shush and realize that a mom being able to breastfeed are very blessed. I'm an adoptive mom, and breastfeeding is possible, but often far more difficult than bf'ing a home-grown baby. So if you can bf, you are blessed and should encourage other women!
Kathy Kirshner - How can this be controversial in 2013??? Why are we still talking about this? It's ok for Myley Cyrus to twerk against Robin Thicke but a woman feeding her child causes a feeding frenzy in the news? For Cripes sake people, the amount of breast this woman is showing is far less than any Victoria's Secret ad! Get over yourselves!
Marie Warne - Controversial? Controversial should be photos of guns, war, torture etc. that we're bombarded with on a daily basis. A woman is feeding her child - using her breasts for what they were designed for. Stop being so puritanical America.
Crystal Mincher - Good for her. For people complaining that she's not multitasking or working or doing "normal" mom things, yes she is. She's still a mom who is working. This IS her life. She could easily choose to pass the baby off to a nanny with a bottle. Instead she chooses to BF. It's ridiculous that so many people on here are complaining they don't have time to brush their teeth or wash their hair and yet here they are FB. Yes motherhood is hard. It is for everyone. I'm sure she has many challenges that other people don't have too. Not all struggles are the same.
Samantha Callen - I think its funny that if she were on a cat walk with most of her breast exposed ..it'd be another day and done. Put a baby anywhere near that breast and LOOK OUT! The critics and ignorant people come
Bethany Brant - I love this picture of Gisele, but I read the linked article and didn't really care for it. We don't have to be "rich" or "well supported" as Gisele appears to be in this picture to make breastfeeding successful. I went back to my full-time job after 14 weeks with my first child, nursed her until she self-weaned at 19.5 months. I went back to work again full-time, 10 weeks after my second child, and he's still nursing at age 4! I think people often like to "place blame" when breastfeeding isn't successful, and I understand why. The mommy guilt is terrible when things don't go as we planned. I just don't get why people are hating on this picture so much, saying "oh, she's so pampered and rich and that's why she's successful at breastfeeding. I'm not pampered or rich so that's why I couldn't breastfeed." When I see this picture, I do see a mom multi-tasking; doing her job and caring for her child. It just so happens that her job allows her to be cared for and made up by others, and good for her for being successful and having that kind of job. But let's not assume that just because the rest of us aren't supported like she is that we can't breastfeed successfully, because it can be done.
Annie Compton - You know, I don't think it was even intended to start a controversy. As far as I read, she didn't even say anything about nursing. As if it were so normal and everyday, that it shouldn't even be mentioned! Imagine that. Well done, Gisele. Best nursing promotion I have seen yet--it's so normal, there shouldn't even be a discussion!
Tamara Meinecke - Of course she's a real mother; and, like it or not, this is part of her working day. Even if you're envious of her life, or hate modeling and all it stands for, she's a real mother doing a terrific thing. Please don't hate on her.
Katie Shell - I can think of a million reasons to love this photo and none on why not to.
Carly Ceccarelli - If I read one more person saying how terrible it is that the baby may be exposed to hairspray and fumes from nail polish, I will quit the Internet.
Ashley Nicole Huey - She's breastfeeding and I love that so that's all I am noticing...being beautiful is her job. People need to get over themselves & see the photo for what it really is: a mother feeding her 11month old
Alicia Martinez - I used to play Call of Duty while breastfeeding.
Leann Miller Starkey - I don't get why this is controversial? She's feeding her baby. I think it's beautiful! Good for her!
Whitney Moody - I keep looking at this picture and don't see anything controversial yet. I suppose I should keep looking.
- Tomorrow is the last day to enter the big Mothering Natural Toy Giveaway!! Prizes include a gor (Type: photo | Published: 2013-12-04T20:46:13+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 153)
Mothering Magazine: Tomorrow is the last day to enter the big Mothering Natural Toy Giveaway!! Prizes include a gorgeous handmade doll from Bamboletta Dolls and this amazing prize package from aToyGarden.com! Come enter now and you could be one of Friday's winners! http://bit.ly/MotheringToyGuide2013Comments:
Bettina Kennedy - Awesome giveaway!
Epp Petrone - liked and shared :)
Vena Dagnall - Like, like, like and share!
Heather Lea Lambert - My sister would love this! Due Feb 2014
Danielle Marie Mrsnetherton - Liked and shared! :) Happy Holidays!
Mau Mcl - Looking at these toys is so peace inducing -- the reason for the season <3
Sara Sacks - having a problem signing into my mothering account, can you please contact me? Thank you!
Dana Pisculich - Beautiful, just liked on FB!
Tracy Alverson Euler - This giveaway is super generous! Thank you
Toby Rolf - Liked and shared - would love to win this!
Carissa Dwelly-Marshall - Wonderful giveaway! Thanks for offering!
Shannon Kittrick-Sylvain - Just liked and love the toys.
Amy Elizabeth Hayes - Love those wooden toys!
Lucy Swerdfeger - Liked all! I'd love to win these for my son!
Sufia Gulamali - Liked all, and shared the giveaway guide!
Kristen Pieratt - We have that peg car, my kids have all loved it!
Amy Wakeman - Liked and shared!
Aminah Gillen - Liked and Shared
Jennifer Fields - Thanks for the opportunity!
Dawn Fournier - Liked all, thank you for the opportunity to win!
Elizabeth Deatrick - Such great learning toys!
- Let's play a game: how many of your friends like Mothering? Visit our page, and at the top of t (Type: photo | Published: 2013-12-05T02:08:52+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 0)
Mothering Magazine: Let's play a game: how many of your friends like Mothering? Visit our page, and at the top of the right column you will see how many of your friends like us. Then post the number here.Comments:
Hillary Washburn - 22 :) - about 10 are from a mothering ddc
Lisa Beshay-Packard - Only 4! I can't believe it's not more!
Heather Bill - Wow...only 5...I'm kind of surprised!
Jocelyn Jenkins Rodriguez - 43 <3 my crunchy friends!!
Sally Jackson - 19! yay for like-minded friends
Diane Most Turner - 55 here! Lots of like minded friends from San Antonio Natural Parenting!
Wendi Willett Nordell - Only two! I need to talk to my friends!!!
Amber Green - 13 friends! Not bad out of only 50 people on my facebook and many of them don't have children. I met all 13 of these friends through the MDC forums!
Helen Bird - Uh oh, only 2! Guess that's what happens when you become a mother at 50! All my friends kids are in their 20's.
Stacey Doroshuk - Just 1 for me! My lovely sister Dawn Doroshuk-Humphrey. If it weren't for her I wouldn't know about Mothering!
Mary Templeton Turner - Hillary, we moved our DDC to FB also. Great group!
Mary Templeton Turner - 10 of my friends...most of whom I met in MDC forums! :)
Rachelle Markham - 5, and I and 2 others aren't even mothers yet!
Andi Bissett - Only 3! Surprising.
TylerBronwyn Haden-Betz - 5 of the coolest people I know
Denisa Selph - 13! I have some great friends! :)
Donna Radloff Burns - 1 FB friend, sadly 0 that I know in real life
Rebecca Carel Burnett - I'm surprised, only 8.
Maria Larson - Only one other smart woman
Sara Jensen King - Oops lol! You meant FB...looks like 10
Sara Jensen King - I see nothing but an ad. I must be at the wrong place.
- I find it so interesting when I hear my friends have such different names for nursing. I imagin (Type: link | Published: 2013-12-05T21:46:43+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 11)
Mothering Magazine: I find it so interesting when I hear my friends have such different names for nursing. I imagine we have a huge number of different terms for it here at Mothering where breastfeeding is the norm. We always called it "ninna". What is your word for nursing?Comments:
Bryanna Sarnowski - Nura for my firstborn, my younger calls it "ask" because I told him he needed to ask instead of just reaching down my shirt! Ha!
Samantha Lacks Angelini - Sometimes it was side and other side. Lol
Kathleen Travis Perin - I love reading all these! So fun! :)
Amy Hinkle - My husband calls it "boobing the kid" because he is obviously very classy!
Malissa Yocum - My youngest referred to my bra as the "booby apron".
Lisa Stewart - LO calls it "milkies" or "switch sides." He nursed the last time three weeks ago, at age four and a half. My last baby!
Amanda Hedrick - One kid called it drinkies, the other hi's (like a plural version of the word hi). Drinkies amused me because he was NOT a comfort nurser, so it was basically a beverage. Hi was derived from him greeting the milk. Lol
Laurynda Williams - It was just "nursing"-no need for cute names. We always used real vocabulary with our four kids.
Sarah K Garrett - My 4yo says "Nee" don't remember when it started but she went from signing milk straight to Nee. We called her "the baby who says.... nee!" (From Monty python)
Katie Oosterhuis - Nanees & o'nanees for the second side ;-)
Kathleen Travis Perin - "Boob and story!!!" Since she was teeny, it's always been our exclusive quiet reading time together. Now we are working on weaning and only nursing at bedtime now, and she gets VERY excited about the whole thing and shouts it (hence the exclamation points) :-D
Heather Bill - Nursing...but they call them their "nursie dudes"!
Kay Brick - We've had different names, but my oldest called it "other"--- whenever she had finished one side I'd say, "do you want the other?" and she just started calling it "other" <3
Dianna Cooper - We just call it nursing :)
Sherry Raines - Mommies milk, and they added please as they grew up.
Sabrina Conery - MY word was milkies .... DD however decided it was BOOB! LOL....
Catherine Barbara - I had no nickname, it was always: do you want eat or time to eat.
Angie Arredondo-Montoya - Lechita - Spanish diminutive of milk.
Jocelyn Yurina - I tried to use cute euphemisms. You know like ma mas or nursies. My first called it Boo and the second went all out and called it Boob, loudly, and at an early age
Kristina Brown - Mommy milk... No need for a cute nickname - it is what it is!
Meghan Gilroy - My son called my breasts the "nurses" which cracked me up... and worked quite well in public when he would say he wanted the nurses!
- When I was pregnant with my daughter, I informed someone who was very close to me that I intend (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-21T21:58:48+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 298)
Mothering Magazine: When I was pregnant with my daughter, I informed someone who was very close to me that I intended to cloth diaper. She immediately got upset, telling me that it would be impossible to keep up with and there was no way I could do it full time. My insistence that it was indeed possible and in fact, do...Comments:
Kimberly Pajak - I am a full time working mom who has cloth diapered and breasted both my kids exclusively. I can't tell you how many negative comments I've gotten especially regarding cloth diapering. I've made an effort to always be open to other styles of parenting. I do t think I'm amazing because of how I parent or judge others or parent differently. I wish everyone could read this and think before they judge anyone's parenting style. We all do what's best for us. Sorry for the rant :-)
Breanne Sproule - You know...I think it is of course good to be nice and not assume that we know why people made the choices they did. But you know what I am also not going to pretend that breastfeeding is not better than formula feeding or that responding to my baby is not better than letting them cry it out. I also think people can be honest. Yeah you now what...I know cloth diapers are better for the environment and probably more comfy too but I am just too lazy to do it and cant keep up with my laundry as it is.
Mindy Briggs - Everyone is summing up this article by talking about when and for how long they cloth diapered. Or whether they didn't cloth diaper. It's not why the author wrote this article. It's not about diapering or breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, bed sharing or always having your baby sleep in a crib. It's about giving every parent space and not judging them for the parenting choices they make. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they've got. Parenting isn't about judgement. It's personal and it's no one else's business what your parenting choices are unless they ask in earnest and honestly want to know the answers.
Laura Jones-Katz - I'm sorry, but how is this not judgmental? : "If I had more children and was working, perhaps I wouldn’t have made it through three years without ever using disposables. Maybe I would’ve set my passions for the planet aside and caved out of necessity?"
The suggestion here is that other mothers make choices out of necessity or circumstance rather than choice. Maybe being open minded and not judgmental means accepting that other moms parent differently and not making excuses for them that actually are intended to elevate our choices.
Kateri Scott - It's usually what comes after the "because" that infuriates so many. For example, I've heard, "I eliminate communicate because letting a baby mess themselves is abusive." I've heard, "I didn't circumcise because circ's are genital mutilation." I've heard, "I breast feed because formula feeding is poisoning the baby." It's those inflammatory because's that really get the hackles up. Perhaps, instead of soapboxing every parenting decision, we should just live our lives by example and graciously educate and explain our positions. Why I love EC (it's better in the long run for potty training). Why I chose not to circumcise (it's medically unnecessary). Why I chose to breast feed (the nutrition and bond is so great! And be understanding and tolerant of those who have chosen otherwise without being judgmental.
Beryl Greensea - I prefer the title, "If you take offense with my parenting style, you're probably just misplacing your guilt." I don't rub my choices in other people's faces and only volunteer information as it is pertinent to a conversation or in response to a question. I don't so what I do to make anyone feel bad. I do it because I know it is better.
Christal Butler - I'm sure this article is good and all, but did you see that sleeping baby? What a cutie :)
Beth Hannah - exactly. Sigh. People get way too defensive about everything.
Ashley Nicole Huey - Moms need to unite and pat each other on the back. Parenting is hard enough, you don't need someone telling you your way is wrong. We are all working towards the same goal; a happy, thriving, healthy child.
Sarah Belanus - God, I am so tired of this topic! Moms do the best they can. Live and let live, people.
Melissa Nielsen - Thank you for posting this. I have been ignoring most Mothering posts becase they seem uber self righteous and alienating, but this article was really great. Moms need to support each other especially when we disagree not only for our own well being but also as an example to our children.
Christina Gharabeygi - At the end of the day as long our kids are happy and healthy, that's all that matters:)
Nancy Sypolt - I am 69 and I cloth diapered. I used diaperine a soak in the diaper pail and washed them in hot water with dreft. They came out sparkling clean. That was the norm back in the 60's & 70''s
Kimberley Allan Mulla - Great article. We all make choices based on our priorities. I also find that people assume I'm judgmental about their choices because I'm doing something a certain way. I often find myself saying "I'm not saying this because I think I should impose my values on others, it's just what's right for us". I have often found too that some of the greatest judgment and criticism comes from close family, which makes it so hard to deal with. And unfortunately we live in a society where women often critique other women. I am always striving to be a more knowledgeable parent and have changed many ways of doing things as I have learned. I feel that is what doing my best means to me.
Christina Rochette - I like the article, but it doesn't really address all the people who really, Really push for telling you that the way you are doing it IS wrong and DOES need to change to the way they did it. I have honestly somehow avoided these kinds of things, but I know plenty of people who have lived with their extended families or were close to people who would incessantly tell them that they NEEDED to parent in a way they entirely disagreed with, for justifiable, evidence-based, research-based reasons. There is a time and place for giving people this confrontational about your parenting a lecture and a stack of research and whatever else is necessary to get them to stop parent-harassment. I just see it too much. You NEED spank your kids, you NEED to let them CIO, you NEED to circumcise/sleep apart/stop carrying them/nurse them/bottle-feed them/put them in daycare/stay at home. Many parents truly get harassed for their parenting on a regular basis, not just the random outburst from a person, but the incessant affront to their parenting.
Jess Young - We started having this issue before we were even married. Our decision about what marriage means was offensive, but we really didn't care that while we chose no license (permission) from the government that others did. Our decision to be different seemed like, to them, we were saying their way was wrong. No, and I frankly don't care how many times and in what ways you've been married, divorced, etc.
Parenting gets even worse. LOL
Alison Ja - I would like to print this out & hand it to some people....
Alberta Joyce-Bell - why would anyone comment negatively on cloth diapering? that makes no sense- firstly, because it is not their concern- and secondly because it is a well thought out decision!
Erin Elizabeth Brown-Bell - oh, this story is only interesting in that it actually re-inscribes the very problem it attempts to negate. brag, brag, brag. i'm so over mommy-blergs--i mean blogs.
Judy Winchel Knutson - Yup! Got to do it the way it suits you! :)
Kirsty Sziron - The 'right' way is your way and that's different for each family, it's so personal. The way people parent is a reflection of their values, priorities and lifestyle. No one can know what's right for another person. We're all in this together, this parenting gig, no matter what our style is, lets support each other :)
- I didn't pierce my kids' ears as babies. I felt like it should be something they ask for. OTOH (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-07T20:34:56+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 1)
Mothering Magazine: I didn't pierce my kids' ears as babies. I felt like it should be something they ask for. OTOH piercing a child's ears when they're old enough to fiddle with them...Comments:
Shannon Elliott - not ok. same as circumcision. unwanted, cosmetic, painful procedure done without their permission.
Jordan Vanessa Doucet - As a former jewellery store employee who did ear piercing I would advise all parents to not pierce their babies ears. Unlike professional piercers,we had literally NO training. You watch someone else pierce ears and noses for a day. That's it. I'm sure the training varies slightly and you do get better at with time but you don't get trained in communicable diseases,or even cleanliness. Piercing guns are rarely,if ever cleaned.
I have pierced babies ears and had them come back into the store months later and cry when they saw me.
I recommend parents wait,babies don't need earrings.
Ana Santiago Baker - Wow, I am reading a lot of judgmental ethnocentrism. If you asked this question in any Latin or Hispanic country, the answers would read completely differently.
Ana Santiago Baker - In my country, girls' ears are pierced in the hospital before they go home. I have no memory of this being done to me, 41 years ago. If I experienced pain, it has long been buried in my psyche. And I have experienced no ill effects, infections or problems. Ever. Glad it was done then. My husband, not from my culture, wanted to wait for our daughter to have her ears pierced. She did when she was 6. She was nervous, but didn't experience any pain. Piercing ears at birth or at any other age - six in one hand, half-dozen in the other.
Now, ask me about genital mutilation, you will get a different response because it is a completely different thing.
Bryanna Botham - I'm thankful we live in a world where our fear of "judging" each other doesn't get in the way of discussing the well being of children as a community. I'm thankful that in some way, others are looking out for my kid. I do feel that ear-piercing is a violation of a child's right to make their own choices about their bodies. However, while the principle is the same, I don't think it's quite on par with the genital mutilation of both boys and girls.
Andrea Lee - Why judge? Not my baby. I made choices with both my girl and my boy - none of your business what I chose, none of my business what you do with your child, really. I don't think 1 minute of piercing pain is worthy of the disrespect and judging that this conversation encourages.
Amy Moore-Witt - I think it should wait until the child in question can choose for themselves... I as appalled at one parent who took their child to get her ears pierced the same day that the baby had 3 vaccinations... Babies arent pin cushions with no feelings..
Erin Powers - Personally, I don't like it. I think it looks really tacky on babies and small children.
Tribe Eva - I don't think it's a problem but families should be aware that piercing guns are NOT safe. They are not autoclaved and can harbor bacteria, blood and STI's. If you are going to get a child's ears pierced no
matter their age, it should be done with a needle by a professional piercer and most professional piercers will not pierce an infant. Maybe a family doctor would be the next best bet?
Rebecca Andrews - I understand respecting cultural differences and traditions but, I think it's Ok for them to be questioned in this day and age. One could argue that circumcision is cultural and religious but, circumcision is being debated and discussed and people who used to circumcise for cultural or religious reasons are starting to change their mind. It's body modification that causes pain and there is no scientific/medical research, (that I know of) regarding ear piercing, like there is for circumcision and even the research for circumcision is debated upon.
Krystal Crawford - Not my body, not my choice. However, I don't think it is the same as RIC. Here's why: when you amputate foreskin, you alter function. The same cannot be said of piercing an earlobe. That does not negate the fact that it is still not my earlobe to permanently alter.
Mel Highland Booth - It's a hole in a body. It isn't my choice to put it there.
Christine Ordell Stokes - Not my body, not my choice!
Erica Witbeck - The vaccine analogy strikes me as absurd. Whatever you believe, there is no demonstrable health benefit to ear piercing. Even if you think the risks of vax outweigh the benefit, there is an inarguable benefit that extends beyond "cultural decoration".
Lisa Beshay-Packard - I do not believe that parents have the right to modify a child's body in any way, unless absolutely medically necessary. There will be a time when the child will be able to decide for his/herself...until then, it should not be done, in my opinion.
Sheila N Vinson - not my body, not my choice--when they are old enough to ask to have something cosmetic done then we can discuss it...
Missy Gardner - Hate seeing this done to infants and small children. Wait and let them decide for themselves. Not your body!!
Joy Midkiff Alba - No. I STILL remember how very much having mine hurt in 1st grade. My eldest has them, but I made her wait till she was older. My 4yo begs me for them but I'm making her wait till she's older.
Valerie Capiccioni Gerbus - It's your baby, your choice, I waited with my daughter because I wanted it to be her choice. I had mine done as an infant, don't remember it hurting, and it never bothered me. I wasn't angered as an adult for my mom choosing for me. It's just something I wanted to leave up to my daughter as something fun we could do together later. I also didn't want yet another thing I had to care for and worry about, so it was nice to wait for her to be able to do it (cleaning, turning, etc). But I got double piercings, cartilage piercings, and those didn't hurt either (and I was plenty old enough to remember those).
Sloan Becker - I had my ears pierced as a baby and have always worn earrings. When my daughter was born, my husband felt strongly that we should not pierce her ears as a baby and that she should make that decision when she was older. When she was around 8 y.o., she started noticing other girl's earrings and she wished her ears were pierced. She wanted to be able to wear earrings, but she was afraid to have them pierced. Finally, when she was 10 y.o. she made the decision to do it at the pediatrician's office. She was very anxious about it and kept asking us why we didn't just do it when she was a baby. I really felt bad for her. She did have some problems for a long time with the holes. I regret not getting them pierced when she was a baby. That way she wouldn't remember.
Lisa Apito Brown - I don't think my pediatrician would have done it for us if she felt it was unsafe. My daughter had them done as an infant and loves that she can wear earrings. I mean people act like we are mutilating child's ears! It's a pinhole for heavens sake!!
- My sweet girl is 10 1/2 months old. She wakes to nurse at least three times per night. So, I am (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-08T17:00:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 26)
Mothering Magazine: My sweet girl is 10 1/2 months old. She wakes to nurse at least three times per night. So, I am wondering when other breastfeeding, bed sharing babies finally slept through the night. Please share!Comments:
Hillary Hildebrand - Around 2 years. Sorry to be a downer, ha
Jamie Wise - 3.5 years old...I'm tired.
Janet Sellers - my babies sleep with me until they decide otherwise. they sleep through the night after they wean.
Alicia Martinez - Not sure. I was too busy sleeping to pay attention
Jennifer Wenzel - About 3 is when the scale tipped to more sleeping nights. But, they all still wake. Heck, I wake to drink or bathroom.
Amber Seber - Both of mine always have except for when they were teething but I consider STTN to be a 6 hour stretch.
Brenda Hefti - Um, he still doesn't? He's over 4 years old. Hahahaha!
Elizabeth Balabayev - Six weeks for all three. My kids always slept like rocks... I think I must have maybe been sleep-nursing them!
Winter Twisp - Almost 3 and not yet...oh wait, I'm almost 30 and I still don't. Such a crazy expectation when it's natural to wake throughout the night. Only difference between adults and babies is that adults can usually fall back asleep on their own.
Stephanie Rachel Smith - Hasn't yet :-( going on 28 months
Eliza Jane Oakes - He's three and has some nights where he doesn't wake up until morning, but usually it's more like 3 or 4am. Still though! It was every two hours for over two years so I'll take it!
Ky D. Leimkuehler - At a couple weeks
Annabel Newfield - I slept through night feeds so they just didn't really bother me! But she didn't sleep through without waking till 3
Lilah Gardner - It took her about 4 years - once she stopped nursing.
Hilary Buckwalter - Still nursing 3 or so times a night at 17 mos, more when teething...more as in, like a newborn. :)
Holly Deering - It happens sometimes now! And he sleeps alone mostly now too. He will be 3 in December. :)
Priscilla Tennant Herrington - Every child is different. Just remember that after the first year, the parent's needs are as important as the child's and so any solution you discover must meet both sets of needs!
Sarah Martyn - If you define sleeping through the night as 5 hours straight (which is how its usually defined for babies) then my current baby has been since she was about three weeks old. Goes to bed around 9:30, wakes up once between 3-5 to eat, goes right back to sleep til around 7 :-)
Kimberley Hodgdon Landsman - 6 YEARS. And at ten my husband still lays with him until he's asleep in his own bed.u lovely son likes to tell us that "if we hasn't coslept he'd be more confident to sleep on his own. Oy vay
Kamora Herrington - umm, we're at 20 months and I have no answer...yet!
Jen Beeman - My 3 yr old is just starting to sleep all the way through a 10-12 hour stretch. If we're considering 5-6 hours to be STTN then since maybe 10 months.
- Let me tell you about my son. He’s three. He’s imaginative. He can be a wild man. He’s se (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-08T20:00:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 94)
Mothering Magazine: Let me tell you about my son. He’s three. He’s imaginative. He can be a wild man. He’s sensitive. He loves his ballet classes. He loves princesses. I would not change a thing. Not one single thing.Comments:
Lawanda Kress - I have to wonder why the author assumes that the little boy who said princesses were gross was "taught" that, but she sees her son as "being himself" for liking them, rather than being "taught" ...even tho it's completely obvious she loves princesses herself.
Echo Rodetsky - My son likes his nails painted, too. Dark green- his favorite color- so they're "like a pirate".
Johanna Love - Jerusha, why encourage them to be a man or a woman by YOUR definition? Why not just let them BE? My beloved cooks, cleans, raises our 3 boys, all while rocking my world. He is a real man to me, but maybe not to you. We all have different tastes!
Olivia Hinebaugh - I'm the author and I want to thank everyone who has commented. I feel a tremendous amount of support, especially from mothers who have had similar experiences. To clarify: I was never into princesses, but my son is. He plays dress up with his friends, reads fairy tales, and sees movies. He also loves cars, trains, and other "boy" things. What I was trying to reflect is that we all just do the best we can for the kids we have. Thanks again for your thoughts. I'm glad this is something that can be discussed and not dismissed.
Jerusha Lupi - Gosh why not let men encourage boys and teach them what it is to be a man? Whats so bad about pointing out what things are best left to girls and what are more inline with their masculinity? Its called learning. You ladies need to stop being so soppy and silly, painted nails at 3 is fine, so are sparkly shoes but the reality is your son is a boy and will one day be a man and needs guidance toward that, so keep that in mind - who's to say your not part of the problem? I want my son to be proud of the differences between himself and his sisters and to embrace all the exciting things being a man can bring and I trust the men in his life to teach him. Who cares if it means he misses out on pretty painted nails.The same applies for my girls. Finally I hope they also learn to appreciate the differences in the opposite sex and see them as a desirable addition to their own lives when they grow up. I dont think my boy will care about having been discouraged from wearing pretty nail polish or barbie tshirts then, im sure he will appreciate the assurance from his parents from a young age that he is a boy /man and can grow easily into that. Im sure he will appreciate pretty nails on his wife instead.
Brenda Baskerville-Graff - Ok so I have a pic of my 21 year old son in tights and a velvet dress while he was playing dress up. He now is definitely a grown up hetero sexual man. We didn't make a big deal out if it at the time. I believe if we give our kids room to be who they are then they will become who they are meant to be. No judgement here.
Crissy Morgan - I love this. It drives me nuts when my father, or anyone else for that matter tells my son he can do or like something because "that's for girls". My son has two older sisters. When they get their nails painted he want his done too. He's five. And being from a family that doesn't buy in to gender divisions much, he's gonna be a little different. He'll figure out in his own time what's acceptable for him personally. And hopefully without too much social pressure.
Sheri Lieffring - My daughter is also 3 and loves dinosaurs, jaguars, Diego, bugs, climbing and running and playing ball. She has shown zero interest in anything princess, but does love her baby sister and taking care of her baby dolls. She is going to be a dragon for Halloween this year and is so excited. She has also decided that baby sister will be a dinosaur. I, too, worry so much about future bullying and stereotyping because she is beautiful, loving, sweet, and imaginative and energetic, athletic and....and innocent. She loves and feels all of life with her whole heart and I know she can be hurt. But all I can do is tell her all of these wonderful things I love about her always and tell her she is perfect and loved....always loved...no matter what.
Faith Hofer - Mine dresses as a princess, paints his nails, and pretends to be He-man when he talks to people. Nice mix of interests. :)
Susan Fischer - No matter if this is a phase or a potential lifestyle for your son, I believe he is going to be one of the most open and honorable men out there. I have plenty of pics of my middle son at age 3 playing dress up in his sister's clothes and he also liked to be naked as much as possible until at least age 5. I always want my children to express who they are and be proud of that, even if it is against society's norms. He is 12 now, he doesn't dress in girls clothes and he does not walk around naked, but I will tell you what he does do, he does have a huge, open heart and he walks on a path of not only tolerance, but of acceptance for others. Social Justice issues are very important to him even at age 12. You sound like a wonderful loving mother to me!
Shannon MacLaggan - I think children only want to eat ice cream and cupcakes because most parents dangle it over their heads for the sake of rewards and punishments. I think if we treated children like actual human beings rather than annoyances to be managed, we would see that they want to do well, eat well, learn, please etc. Just like a child will learn to read when he is ready and it makes sense for them, not when a parent or teacher dictates the terms.
Erin Chard - Have a son (4) with very similar interests. Adores dressing up like a princess, having his nails done, purple has been his favorite colour for almost 2 years. He is currently growing his hair long and sometimes wears a pink headband to school. He also takes a ballet class and he had one little boy say to him last year 'dancing is for girls'. It makes me sad. My son, and yours, are beautiful, sensitive beings and I wish they'd be allowed to grow without the judgment and comments. How come no questions when a girl wears blue? Congratulations to you on being a WONDERFUL, loving mother to your son. I am proud of you and know you are not fighting this alone!
Irene Elisabeth Hitchcock - I love you sooo much for being so wonderful to your wee man. Look how happy he is. You are such an inspiration. Much love to you and you son and your whole family! :D (y) ♥ ♥ ♥
Jessi Taylor - Love this too! Unfortunately, as they grow older, the comments from other closed-minded people will drag him into conformity. My son is eight now, and I couldn't be with him 24/7 to help him work through the harassment when he wanted to wear nail polish and butterflies and flowers out of the house. :-( he doesn't even go out to play anymore. I just want him to stay innocent and true to himself forever, but it doesn't work in this society that's obsessed with putting people into molds and ridiculing them if they don't fit.
Connie Nour Hinkle - DD played exclusively with Thomas the Train until she was 3yo. Then it was horses, then Star Wars and now at 12 it's archery & soccer. We've raised her to explore the world and know no matter what she did out there, she'd always be accepted back here.
Christal Butler - For the most part, people are allowed to raise their children how they see fit. I support traditional gender roles. I don't encourage my son to pursue activities traditionally pursued by girls. Nor do I encourage him to dress like a girl or to be feminine. To each his/her own. If others want to do so with their kids, that's their choice and right. I don't judge them. As for me and my family, we don't play like that.
Eliza Jane Oakes - My son (3) loves bugs and trucks and cats. And pink and books and dirt. I wouldn't be able to push him into dresses and nail polish if I wanted to. He's just not fancy. But I do encourage his interests, whatever they are (with safety in mind, I will never encourage his interest in running around the house with a blanket over his head, running into walls). I loved the part about not wanting to cut his options in half. How is he supposed to discover what he likes if I'm standing in the way, trying to guide him away from perfectly innocent things? What if he misses out on a passion for fashion because I told him boys don't wear pink, or boys shouldn't spend so much time making sure their outfit matches? That would be a shame. He really has an eye for color. I know that most people aren't ready for throwing out traditional gender roles, but they will be eventually. Maybe he will contribute to that when raising his own kids. And he will remember that his parents never tried to stifle his interests.
Eliza Jane Oakes - ^ That would certainly be unhealthy. But headbands? Yeah, I think he'll be fine.
Nicole Cormier Toolan - My son who is now 7 is sandwiched between two sisters. He has alway played dress up with them. One day he asked me to buy him a dress in Nordstrom. My husband and I have never sex stereotyped out kids so I thought why not? So I bought the dress, he wore it around the house and eventually tired of it. He grew out of his dress stage as he did other stages. But when I bought the dress all I thought was, "He will always know that I accept him amd love for who he is no matter what."
Tara Thomason McCraw - My 3 yr old son doesn't really have any feminine interests BUT I loved this article & shared it bc it's what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is all about!!! I have more than 1 friend who's sons do these things & 1 boy started withdrawing & pushing away from his father bc he'd come home from work & "shame him" & correct him when he was dressed up in his sister's tights, a dress or cheerleader outfit (the mom allowed him to do what made him happy)....the Dad finally realized he was losing a valuable relationship with their 3 yr old son, who's now 4 & he started accepting him & not "getting on to him" for dressing like a girl & guess what? The boy doesn't do it as much anymore....not that it would matter if he did....but the point is, the boy just wanted to be loved & accepted for who he was CHOOSING to be, not scolded when his Dad came home from work for something so petty! I live in the South & my boys hair is a little long & curly & I just to dress him smocks quite often & still occasionally do & people either love it or hate it, but it makes me SO MAD when people tell me I'm making my boy girly, a sissy or confusing him for putting him in a BOY's smocked outfit, like a Jon Jon or longall! I don't dress him that way daily & never did....he looks precious in shorts & tees too...but, I like both looks & if HE didn't want to wear it, I wouldn't force him too...I try to give him options with clothes & shoes as it helps him learn INDEPENDENCE! Keep fighting the good fight, mamas!!! ❤
Katie Brach - I recently found my daughter playing tea party with her cars. I couldnt help but feel like a proud mother :)
- I have a 4-year-old who hates having her hair washed. She loves playing in the bath, but doesn' (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-17T22:19:12+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 3)
Mothering Magazine: I have a 4-year-old who hates having her hair washed. She loves playing in the bath, but doesn't like the hair thing. I'm trying to decide how much I can let that...Comments:
Kelly Durbin - Surprised by some of the replies to this. Are folks not familiar with the hygiene hypothesis? Kids generally don't need daily baths- depending on age. The immune system needs to be exposed to germs & dirt in order to develop properly. Dirty is the new clean! (haha!)
Sherri Kaye Tomlin - i used to hate these questions when mine were little. my pat answer was "once a month, whether they need it or not." truth? i was not on a schedule. i used the bath really mostly to calm them and me down at the end of a day. it was play, not washing. (i have 2 boys, 2 years apart.) i would push their comfort a bit, but not too much. it was about them, not about me. i figured if they were as clean as an indigenous child they would be fine.
Elizabeth MacDonald - we don't wash with anything other than water :)
Jasmine Nicholas - I'm just glad to see I'm not the only one with kids who get hair washed less than once a week. Their hair is soft and not very oily, so they look and smell fine.
Lisa Fuentes Becker - Bathing everyday is not healthy for the skin, very drying.
Nichole Bufton French - Basically never.
Jessica Kimbrel - Almost never. Sounds gross but I do no poo for my self so I started doing it on my kids. Their heads never have a "dirty hair" smell so I only need to wash it if they get something in it. Then when I do wash it I use baking soda not actual shampoo. Also my oldest is allergic to coconut which is in almost all shampoos and soaps.
Cynthia Blevens McKee - There are some things that kids should not have a choice and hygiene is one of them. They must be taught to bathe daily and wash their hair. That is for others. Also, brush their teeth, twice a day. Wash their hands every time they enter a bathroom and leave = wash hands! Germs are everywhere! We bathed our children before bedtime and it relaxed them to the point, we never ever had a problem getting our children to fall asleep. Dirty is dirty, not the new clean!
Elizabeth Mason Moses - Only water, and very rarely. He is 6 and his hair looks and feels super 'clean' all the time--never greasy. This tells me that our hair can totally take care of itself if we don't start stripping it, loading with product, and generally messing with it!
Emily Barlow Currie - Every two months? Only water in between, and that's not even everyday. They seem to be doing fine.
Jo Simpson - we only use water , since they were babies
Felice Goldbach - No wonder kids are always so sick -sounds like they never get CLEAN! My kids get showers and shampoos every day! I would hope that an adult wouldn't run around all day doing what kids do and never bathe. Why would you do that to your kids?
Valesa Linnean - My son is 6 1/2, and my daughter is 3 1/2. They get their hair washed about every 10-12 days, unless they are muddy or filthy for some reason.
Danette Tatro Mazzarelli - Twice a week normally. Possibly every night in the summer if they are in a chlorine pool, have sand in it or a lot of sunscreen/bug spray.
Rebecca MacLary - My 5 year old has never had shampoo or soap in her hair. She bathes on school days (every other) because her feet stink. LOL. But we don't hold that to a strict schedule either. Other than that, baths as needed, particularly in the summer when she's outside all day playing in the dirt.
Cheryll Monday - OMG! I disagree....we feel better going to bed clean.....and kids get into everything.....their immune system isn't going to be any stronger putting them to bed unclean
Rainweaver Hastings - My son is almost 7, loves the bath, and has had one whenever he wanted. As a baby we bathed together every day for pleasure, warmth, and relaxation. Now, it is at least twice a week, often more. He has a stellar immune system, is rarely sick, and usually when he gets anything it is a runny nose and fever for a day or two with only two coughs I can recall. I wash his hair on rare occasions; maybe a dozen times in his life. He hates it, and I can't see it matters. Sometimes I use a mild conditioner as detangler because it's dry here, and straight water dries our hair. My boy loves his bath, and his long hair. He loves having it brushed, and bathtime is one of his very favorite events. We spend much of the summer in lakes, rivers and the ocean. The only reason he does not take a bath every evening and morning now is because there is not time with the school and activity schedule he chooses. I find the comments about what gets on the hair during the day in order to promote revulsion and fear around the germ factor so sad. The world is beautiful and full of life! Shampoo is almost a brand new invention.
Adria Di Maggio - My 3 year old son has a bath every night before bed, as part of bedtime routine. But we hardly ever wash his hair or put soap on his body. Did head to toe soap and gentle, baby-friendly type shampoos from birth til about 18m but stopped because he developed eczema and scaly patches on his scalp. So now we just do warm water with a scoop of coconut oil and shampoo once a month, if that.
Karen Euper Careaga - Tiny drop of shampoo and lots of water will freshen up a tiny head in no time. With little ones, you smell their hair all day, so I'd keep it pleasant! Plus, they'd sleep better after shampoo time.
Amber Seber - Everyone tells me to use water or nothing else. Doesn't work for us. We have to wash every once in a while or they start to smell. I live in an area with a very dense "natural living" population and those that don't bathe or wash their hair claim it isn't greasy and doesn't smell, but I beg to differ. They all smell horrible! I think they are just used to it. The same way I clean my house with vinegar and can't even smell it anymore. I'm just used to it. Nope, the kids get their hair washed every two to four days depending on how much food my son has smeared in his. Cheese does NOT come out with just plain water. :)
Misty Martin - Every time I bathe them which is usually every night. We skip a night here and there, but mostly they get a bath every night.
- Not everyone knows this about me: I'm still nursing my boy. He turned three over the summer. I' (Type: link | Published: 2013-09-24T19:51:24+0000 | Likes: 230 | Shares: 31)
Mothering Magazine: Not everyone knows this about me: I'm still nursing my boy. He turned three over the summer. I'm not embarrassed by this fact. In fact, I take a page from my son's book and don't really see it as a big deal. It's just something that we both still enjoy. We snuggle. It calms him when he's upset. (Wha...Comments:
Stephanie Rachel Smith - I am getting a lot of flack for letting my 27 month old nurse, this made me feel better. Thanks.
Joy Midkiff Alba - I'm currently nursing both my 4 yo and my 18mo. Very rarely is anyone I know stupid enough to give me flack about it. I'm pretty vocal.
Mary Jo Schmidt Schuette - Enjoy your nursing toddlers, ladies!! They grow so quickly! Toddler nursing is the best "band aid" for all that ails the ever active, fast developing, emotional toddler! And it's the best nutrition, too. You will never regret this time that you have spent nursing your babes.
Elizabeth Beadles - I am tandem nursing my 2 1/2 year old DS and my 2 month DD. It's a challenge, a blessing, and a joy - depending on the day and hour ;)
Nicole Persing-Wethington - I'm still nursing my almost 3 year old. :)
Laurel Salvi Raffetto - Still nursing my 3 and a half year old.
Rozanna Niazi - Nursing my three and a half year old twins
Molly Barry - I myself was nursed until 4, my half-sis (different mom) went to 5, and my son went nearly 2 years longer than that, though really it was like once every 6 months the last 2 years. (and he said there was still milk, and that it tasted like chocolate) Took a year after that for the milk-feeling on my left "side" to fully go away. Everyone in my life that knew my history (most people as I used to talk about it all the time as a kid) just expected us to go ages, and we did. :)
Danielle Dapp - My son will be 5 in November and still nurses occasionally. I am also nursing my 3 year old and 11 month old.
Ann Hoff - Take a look at Dr.Jack Newman 's facebook page! He just wrote a wonderful article about this!
Mika Arai Gomez - Kimberly Hills Leibe, there's lots of mommies like us!
Kate Boucher - Mine is just about 9 months, and I have no intention to stop yet!
Ellen Harwell - I was fortunate to breastfeed my first child for @4 years- and my next two about 2 years each. What a delightful time of life! They are now 24,26,and 31!!!
Janell E. Robisch - As Olivia M. Hinebaugh has encouraged, I would love to get stories soon (by Oct. 15) by all of you who have or are nursing a child 3 or older. My blog is at http://tothreeandbeyond.blogspot.com/p/would-you-like-to-contribute-to-this.html (guidelines there) and we also have a nice community right here on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/660759677271153/. I would love to hear from all of you that want to share!
Bobbi Sanchez - Mine quit on her own on her 5th birthday
Kim Cornelisse Sandoval - I nursed my son until he his fourth birthday then had to stop for health reason (mine).
Mishell Dail - I breast fed mine proudly until he weaned himself off at 3 1/2. One of the most amazing experiences of my life!
Amor de Madre - Our son is 37 months+3 weeks and still nursing!
Dana Kunkel - My son is 18 and I still breastfeed him j/k
Janet Sherman - My son nursed until he was 4. Anyone who questioned it got an earful about World Health Organizations recommendations and all the physical and emotional benefits of full-term nursing. No one ever questioned me twice. :)
Jessica Dee Humphreys - 5 years and going strong!
- Do you think it is OK to let kids call parents by their first names? It was normal in my family (Type: link | Published: 2013-09-23T20:10:29+0000 | Likes: 16 | Shares: 0)
Mothering Magazine: Do you think it is OK to let kids call parents by their first names? It was normal in my family. What do your kids call you and what do you call your parents?Comments:
Mary Laine - I don't understand the arguments that it's disrespectful. Do you call everyone older than you by a title? Do you have a special name for every person of "authority" in your life? My husband is ten years older than me, does that mean I have to call him sir?
Titles don't equal respect. Fairness, kindness, and mutual compassion are respect.
Jennifer Wenzel - My roll with them isn't limited to a title. Doesn't bother me.
Angi Nicholas - For us, no. But that is something that needs to be left to the individual family
Heather Fyffe Dunham - Of course it's "okay". How is your own name not being respectful? If it's so important to use someone's designation as a measure of respect shown, then we should go back to 'thee' and 'thou'. And let's get rid of this "mommy" nonsense, only "mother" and "father" are respectful enough.
Of course if you prefer not using your name in your own family, that's fine too. It's certainly more common. But that doesn't mean that kids using their parents names are inherently disrespectful. If the parent thinks it's fine, then obviously they think it's respectful enough for them!
It's all just cultural anyway. Some cultures go even further the other way -- in traditional Korean culture, parents of children are not referred to by their own name by *other* people too, not just their own children. I wouldn't be "Heather", I would be referred to as "David's mother". The relationship is more important than my self-identity.
Then there's the cases of mixed families. My son calls his stepdad by his name, and not "Stepdad". "Hi, stepdad, can you come pick me up?" That's just awkward. Same on his father's side, it's "dad and Emily" not "dad and stepmom" or "dad and my other mom". There's no disrespect there either, it's just practical.
And sometimes my daughter calls her dad by his name, because that's what she hears her brother doing. It's not disrespectful.
So it's not something we would personally choose as a matter of course... but there's nothing *wrong* with it either. Our kids should call us what we teach them to call us. If I say "mommy's coming, give the toy to mommy, give mommy a hug" when they're babies, they'll call me "mommy". If I use my own name, they'll use it too. There's no difference from the kid's perception in the meaning of the relationship, the measure of respect, etc, it's just the label they were taught to use!
June Rubin - Call me old fashioned (but in a good way) but I have two children and I would not have traded being called 'mom ' or 'mommy' for the world. They are the only two people on the planet who are in a position to call me that. It's just so special. To our grandchildren I am 'Yanya' andy husband is 'Poppy'. A whole other level of delicious-ness.
Jenna Jenks - Maybe I'd prefer it, actually. It seems harder to whine "Jenna" than it does to whine "mommy" lol
Kaitlyn Emerick - My daughter went through a phase when she was three where she would call me by my name instead of "mommy". I let her do that until it lost its appeal, and now I'm "mommy" again. It made me examine my feelings on being called my name ans why it made me feel that way, so it was an interesting experiment on my end as well. I do much prefer being called "mommy", though :)
Jeanine Metzler - I am a very strong believer that parents and other adults should be addressed properly. I despise when my children's friends call me by my first name and correct them when they do. I believe we are loosing respect for adults when they are not addressed properly. It's ashamed this is even a consideration!
Bekah Koon - In our home - it's mom and dad. Of course they all go through the faze when they learn you have a name and it's cute, but it passes. I do think it is about respect. I still call former teachers Mr. & Mrs. so and so and I never call my mom and dad anything but mom and dad.
Terry Brown Springer - Children are the only people who can use special terms like mom or dad. It's an honor which the parent's friends, other relatives, neighbors or coworkers are not able to use in speaking to or about them. Why not use it?
Echo Rodetsky - I don't like it. I'm mom, mommy, or my favorite- mama.
Vanessa Hall - I don't mind, my kids have all done it at some point and its cute/fun and then it's back to Mom.
Nipuna Devi Dasi - of course. if they try it on for size i bet they don't stick with it long. i did it to my mother when i first started talking but grew out of it rather quickly.
Anna Backlund - Word Chris Anne Roncoe!
Anna Backlund - You American's are so oldfashioned. What kids call their parents gotta be up to each and every family!
Sir and mrs doesn't create respect. I'm glad I live in Sweden where all kids call their teachers by first name and adults as well as kids have to earn respect. Oh, and where it's illegal for adults to hit kids, in school and home. The USA has a lot more important issues to work on than what kids call their own parents. Write about how kids are hit by adults instead (in school by teachers and at home by parents) and how THAT's disrespectful and should be illegal, like it is in the more civilized parts of the world.
Krystal Crawford - Eh, doesn't bother me. My 2.5y.o. daughter usually calls me mommy/mom/mama, but every once in awhile she calls me Krystal. It makes me giggle more than anything. I don't feel disrespected by it at all. I prefer Mama, but I'm definitely not going to make an issue out of it. Same with her dad. Usually it's papa/dad/daddy, but occasionally it is Jason. He doesn't make an issue out of it either. Some relatives think it is their business to correct her though, which is a little annoying.
Chris Ann Roncone - I personally love to be Mama to my girls, but I don't have a hang up about it. My kids and my good friends kids all call each others parents by their 1st names. It's just easier for them to remember people's names when it's the same name I use. It's hard for my kids to call everyone a different name than I do, and personally I find it a little weird, they have no more or less "respect" for them than my parents older friends that my kids have learned to cal Mrs. or Mr. so and so. My girls treat everyone one they meet with kindness and dignity but even more so to people who treat them back that way. I don't really understand the "respect" thing, it seems to have more to do with authority and power than treating someone like a fellow human.
Sasha Elisabeth - It's okay for your kids to call you whatever you've deemed is appropriate. Some people like to be called by their names. I like being called mama, personally, but only because that's a special relationship between me and my kids. I have nicknames for them that only I am allowed to use with them, as far as they're concerned. But I have no problem with families where the kids call their parents by their first names. I've had stepparents since I was 6 and I have always called them by their first names.
Beth Dalton - No-- I earned the title of Mother.
Nathalie Montecchi Bearden - Another useless question
Rhyannon Walker - My 3-year-old son calls me Mama, but he calls his dad by his first name. We aren't bothered by it. People have told us it's disrespectful and we should "correct" him, but he's not doing it in a disrespectful way; he's just referring to his dad by the name he hears everyone else using.
- My kids are pretty good but when I can't hear them, I worry. I've found some messes, including (Type: link | Published: 2013-09-22T21:29:20+0000 | Likes: 49 | Shares: 3)
Mothering Magazine: My kids are pretty good but when I can't hear them, I worry. I've found some messes, including a completely unrolled roll of wax paper, a whole roll of toilet paper in...Comments:
Sarah Ives - Omg! Siobhan White I'm going there...... My sister and I took our babies 2 and 8 months away to the beach, we were cooking dinner and the babies were TOO quiet! Turns out the 2 year old had pooped on the floor and the 8 month old had a log in each hand and was happily munching away :) the horror!!!!! We were both (sisters) equally laughing, crying and puking in our mouths....
Parents BeverlyHills - A half pound bag of glitter ...all over 3 rooms ..still finding glitter 4 yrs later.
Jenny Hughes - Ten minutes of a quiet 4yo. What comes after QWERTY?
Georgia Cinq-Mars Tashjian - 100's of fireflys brought into my sons room and released! The kids marched past us many times with their jars filled with fireflys and then marched back out with empty jars. Me and the other Moms were just happy we had a few minutes to talk without interruption until they, the kids, stood in front of us and my son said, ' Mom, you have to see this!' The rest is history.
Emily O'Connor - My 3 year old daughter emptied a full gallon of milk onto the kitchen floor. She was lying on her belly beneath the table when I found her, daintily lapping up the milk all around her like a kitten.
Amanda Babcock - Bowling with a case of diet coke. The cans were exploding everywhere! Dripping off the ceiling...
Kate Pozeznik - My 11 mo finding my husband's unsupervised red wine (in a plastic cup) on the coffee table. She had dumped it on the laminate floor and was doing face-down wine "angels" on the floor.
Amanda Babcock - Chickens in the bedroom.
Kris Bell Slager - I remember the horror to find my oldest son (2 at the time) had found a marker and colored every.single.wedding.picture. in my wedding album. I just sat on the floor and cried.
Raphaëlle Thiriet Zilio - just this morning my son managed to put his hands on our Nespresso capsules. Took them to his bedroom and munched 20 of them open. Ate some of the coffee and the rest went all over the toys and the carpet. At least it's not too hard to clean and their room smells good :D
Erin Gallagher Morrey - The holes punched in the waterbed by my oldest son has to win in my house, but the crayons all over the walls of my daughter's room are a close second.
Sara Jane Nicholas Moran - My son has smeared poop all over his crib at nap time. Nutella all over the den rug and fed to the dog until he threw it back up. A makeup container of powder all over the bathroom because he was mad I was going out for the evening.
Mary Loeffler-Stuart - Him standing at the counter with a five pound bag of grated cheese piled on the counter and the empty bag in his fist. I got a great pic of it!
Sarah E Wiederkehr - a training toilet dumped on a head, and an entire canister of clay powder based blue paint coating absolutely EVERYTHING in the living room (this was all one incident)
Alison Smith - Vaseline on a chair, couch and the wall. PS Regular blue Dawn, undiluted, does wonders on walls.
Belinda Patel - All the wallpaper in the bathroom within his reach peeled off the wall.
Heather Bill - My 4 year old twins recently dumped 4 full bottles of tempera paint on the belt of my treadmill and over the edge on to the floor and the baseboard heater. I'm glad that it was only tempera, but it was still not a fun thing to have to clean up.
Jamie Benjamin O'Hare - Oh, and Jenny, my 2nd kid did the laptop thing while my husband was writing his dissertation. good thing the man knows how to type without looking!
Brandy Avila - My son got my lipstick and smeared it all over the carpet of our rental. It was a 2x2 foot coral lipstick stain. Ugh!!! Better than the poop stories though.
Jamie Benjamin O'Hare - Blue paint all over the floor, all over cabinets, and all over 2 preschoolers. We call it the Blue Man Group Incident.
Jennifer Figueroa Frechmann - My (at the time) 2 year old daughter found the vaseline and smeared it all over herself, her hair and the glider.
- LOL, don't miss "30 Ways it's Become Painfully Obvious That You're a Mom" for more laughs: http (Type: photo | Published: 2013-09-20T22:51:20+0000 | Likes: 3730 | Shares: 965)
Mothering Magazine: LOL, don't miss "30 Ways it's Become Painfully Obvious That You're a Mom" for more laughs: http://bit.ly/youknowyouareamomwhenComments:
Joy Midkiff Alba - They can all be spending the night at Nanna's house and the sec I turn the water on I can hear crying.
Sheryl Abrams - thats not shower schizophrenia thats called being a mom and someone needing you 24/7
Elizabeth Natwick - Or the child is in the bathroom while you are trying to take a 2 minute freaking shower
Elaine Harvey Nixon - and now that the kids are grown and gone, i am always sure i hear a phone when in the shower, LOL
Dawn Williams McIntyre - And when your blow driving your hair.
Tiffany Brown Averill - I call this 'phantom baby'. I hear it in the middle of the night too or when I'm doing dishes.
RogerCarol-Ann Andfourmore - JohnandJennifer Accomando
Laurel Salvi Raffetto - I know, right! Constantly!
Cecily Carr - Omg this is my all the time!!!
Maureen Ryan Danilowicz - I remember those days.
Jennifer Mynatt Wise - Sadly, the screams I hear are always real. And I have teenagers. Heaven help me!
Danielle Connell - No matter how many kids you have, this form of schizophrenia NEVER goes away!!! Lol!!
Kelly Chapoton - Lol!! I am so glad I don't need to worry about that anymore .
Daphne Boston - Dalila John cuzin i was just about to share this on your page but saw you had already seen/liked it. :)
Isabelle Tremblay - Hahaha!!!! All the time!!!!
Dora Nott - My cure-taking showers when my husband is home. :)
Pertisha PJ Gray-Scarbrough - So relates too me Maria Martinez Johnson
Natalya Aho - Whoa, I didn't know this was a thing! I thought I was the only person that did this.
Nancy Voiklis - I take the monitor in and turn it all the way up. It has gotten better;)
Monica Coffey - I totally suffer from this!
Delia Lee Diamond - Good to know I'm not the only one!
- My younger daughter's preschool gave me an info pack, and in it is a note about how some kids c (Type: link | Published: 2013-09-10T20:52:38+0000 | Likes: 49 | Shares: 18)
Mothering Magazine: My younger daughter's preschool gave me an info pack, and in it is a note about how some kids cry when they're dropped off at preschool, even for a few weeks every...Comments:
Rachael Pursley-Heilig - My son cried terribly when I left him the first time at preschool! Luckily preschool was only 2 hours once a week so I sat with him and each week I say further away. He got confident and after a month he was laughing when I dropped him off :) I would never leave him or my other kids to cry!
Lisa Grecu Rittenhouse - I think it is very presumptuous of Mothering Magazine to phrase the headline as such, "Is it damaging...". Some women do not have a choice to leave their child/children at a daycare or preschool, and I think it's safe to say it is always guilt-inducing at some point or another, whether your child is crying or not. It multiplies times a million if they ARE crying. So to label that action as possibly "damaging", without any scientific evidence to say yay or nay, but rather present it as a discussion forum, just opens Pandora's box to potentially creating more guilt to working mothers and those that choose a different care environment than home. Little kids cry. They always have and always will. If you never let your child cry, I would think that would be more damaging in the long-run. I am not saying don't tend to their needs, but sooner or later they are going to have to build confidence to be on their own without you. I am not one to judge parenting styles, as I in turn do not want to be judged on my parenting choices. But please, on behalf of all moms who have to drop off a crying child at a care center, know that you are doing the best you can with what you have and with what circumstances you are in. Don't let one guilt-ridden question about the potential "damage" you are doing to your child send you on an even more guilt-ridden path, when there is no scientific evidence behind it. There is no ONE right way to do this parenting thing.
Nuriye Chapulski Tan - My child is starting school for the first time this year. They have the pre-school and kindergarten kids come for two hours every day (with a parent) for an entire week before school actually begins. It gives time for the children to get used to the teachers, the school, the kids, the routine. It's great for children who are cautious of new people, sensitive, and affected by change.
Raechel Cain - Kids cry. My son hated swim lessons at first but honestly after a few days he was totally fine. They cry when I take something dangerous away from them? Seriously. Let's stop making issues about everything.
Lauren Arıkan - Im still SO pissed at myself for not realizing what a LOAD OF POO those women were selling me when they said its totally normal for her to cry and it GOOD for her independence. Wish I never let my little girl be upset. If the child is crying and the mother is crying SOMETHING AINT RIGHT. Period. Luckily it was just a few days and I talked at length with her about how I was very close by at the library next door waiting for her to be done play time. BLEH. So glad I decided to homeschool. Now with #2... I would NEVER in a million years leave him somewhere he didn't feel safe. Poor #1, that child was my parenting guinea pig. I hope she survives relatively unharmed.
Delphine A Le Dorze - As parents of a 3 year old, we will not leave our child crying anywhere, period. He's 3, might start preschool in 6 months or in a year, whenever we think he's ready. We adapt to him, we don't force him to adapt to what is convenient to us.
Sherene Cauley - I'm rather surprised by these black and white answers. Mindfully attending to children requires more then a plan based on the surface expression of their emotions. Really, more then their emotions too. A child crying may mean a million things beyond fear or have nothing to do with fear at all. And a child not crying and running off to play may very well be experiencing more trauma. Nothing is one fits all. The idea you should "always" or "never" is rather damaging in itself- we might miss some vital way to support our children.
Leah Zueger - Meeting a child's emotional needs is not even in the same realm as spoiling them.
Stephanie Johnston Morris - As a preschool teacher, I recommend that the parent leave. We try to have a chance for new students to meet the teacher before their first day. We partner up a specific staff member to each crier so they have a consistent contact to a comforting adult. If the child does not settle quickly, we create an action plan with the parent to make the transition as painless as possible. In my experience, having the parent stay more than 10 minutes at drop off only makes the transition more difficult.
Karissa Liloc - *sigh* Links to a forum and not even an article? Is the point to start controversy? You can do better, Mothering Magazine, you can do better.
Alicia Parsons Lushington - My 3 year old is about to start a 2 hour a week program and the handbook specifically says they don't do crying without the parents in attendance. You stay and help them become used to the place until they want to be there alone. I can't imagine leaving them.
Sherene Cauley - As a provider- I have learned it depends on the child. And the parent. And the reasons. Just like envy thing else in parenting.
Annie Compton - In general, I think parents could benefit from a whole lot less of these articles and a whole lot more faith in ourselves. Do we love, care for, and teach our children? Yes? Then, job well done. Crying is communication and sometimes not everything has a quick cure. Though, I would bet 99% of kids stop crying within 5 minutes of you leaving. Especially at that age--their emotional range can shift within seconds. Leaving your kids anywhere is always hard, whether they cry or not.
Raechel Cain - My son started at Pre school a few weeks ago and he cried at first and I would stand outside the door to watch him and literally the second I walked out of the room, he stopped crying. He's only been there 3 weeks and is in love with school. He says he loves his teachers. Kids are good actors, lol.
Melanie Paavola - If babies/kids weren't supposed to cry at times they would come out talking. Ppl cry
Christina Nigra Johnson - My daughter cried so much the first couple of weeks at her first preschool that the teachers insisted I pick her up immediately (I was going to anyway, but it would have been nice if the teachers had offered help and solutions, instead of giving up on her/us), and then after a month suggested she not go to preschool there at all, so we changed schools and the crying lessened (though didn't go away entirely). She's in 1st grade now and very well-adjusted. My son cried every day for a year at his first preschool, but would eventually stop and start playing. We switched his school and now he hasn't cried once! Environment, the teachers' attititudes, and the kid's temperament make such a difference!
Raechel Cain - And I'm not a CIO person at all. Just know that kids cry sometime.
Vanessa Wainwright - Hmm. Just because something is normal, it doesn't mean it is healthy.... BUT, if there is no choice, and you have chosen a preschool with compassionate teachers who will be with your little one, helping them through it, maybe it will be less damaging. I wouldn't want to just leave them though... I would have to stay, or arrive early enough to help settle them. If it were possible to even go a couple times to play before officially beginning preschool... I don't know. For some families, it is necessary to send children to preschool or day care.... There has to be a way to do it without added guilt. :(
Courtney Stange-Tregear - Well this was totally not what I needed to see today.
Amy Randell - Better than leaving them home alone!!! Lol
Raechel Cain - Well said Lisa. Way to make us working moms feel bad yet once again.