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- My husband’s grandmother left a message saying she was coming over. Right. Now. I’d been pu (Type: link | Published: 2014-10-13T23:15:22+0000)
Mothering Magazine: My husband’s grandmother left a message saying she was coming over. Right. Now. I’d been putting her visit off. I wanted the first week with our newborn to be a closed circle made up only of new mother, new father, and new baby. Benjamin was a wonder to us with eyes that hinted (I swear) …Comments:
nancy lougheed rose - It's ok not to have visitors! When they finally do arrive, for goodness' sake, wash your grubby hands, don't blind my baby with your stupid camera flash, bring food and help out- or stay out!
susan barrientos - Caucasians are very different than other cultures in regards to this....I have never felt this way and even if I did I would never be this disrespectful to an elder like that.....Just saying....
heather cornelius - I'll never forget... my excited 10 year old invited our mailman in to see her new sister.. beaming with pride, she brought him right on in to my bedroom!! The same, sweet Korean mail carrier gently berated me a few days later, when I was outdoors, sitting gingerly on a stool, planting out my tomato starts. ("In my country, you stay IN BED for WEEKS!! People take care of you, you REST!!") :)
sonia laws - I side with the mother 100%. To the Caucasian nonsense. OMFG Caucasians are technically the MOST diverse racial group. You meant White people? Classic White people I assume, like Northern/Central/Western Europeans? Even among them they are culturally diverse, regardless of them not being considered "ethnic" like their Southern and sometimes Eastern European counterparts. I wish people would realize that we are INDIVIDUALS and also that being a DOORMAT/PASSIVE because you are female, younger, the wife, etc. is NOT all that socially productive(not healthy). As an adult I RESPECT everyone even children until they prove they do not deserve it. I hate the nuts that think only adults and authority figures deserve respect and not the children. Ok Ok Rant over, I think. lol
amirissa alcocer - Serious? Do people realize that cloistering themselves off after a baby's birth is the most unnatural thing ever in all of human history? I'm sure if she'd been open with Grandma about why and given her a date when she could come over things would have gone better. This sounds more like bad communication and only focusing on one's own needs.
mary wilhoit - I hadn't thought about this deeply, but one thing I do is that I do not hold another mother's newborn unless she offers. Everyone feels a bit differently postpartum.
amberly wood - Love this!! I felt so fiercely primal with my newborns. Thought I was the only one!
megan beaver - It is NOT disrespectful to tell someone off, anyone for that matter who has your child and will not hand them back.
lisa teagan kennedy - Wow! As a single mom I was ALL ALONE. Totally alone, no friends, no family, no ex fiancee or his extended family. Had my mother been alive she would have been with me at the hospital, present at the birth, and if she'd been in good health... helping me out after baby & I were discharged. I was raised in a neighborhood where often 3 generations lived together. Mostly Irish and Italian American's. I would not have been so passive aggressive. If I really didn't want a family member over I would have come right out and told them like the normal adult I am. Obviously it's the people with LOTS of family who take it for granted that family will always be there. Those of us who are totally alone in the world would be thankful for the time & attention (plus a 20 minute shower break) a visiting relative could offer!
sveta vladimirovna - After living peacefully in a womb for 9 month outside world with all its smells, noises etc is an adjustment for a newborn! It's best to protect them from over-stimulaton and introduce them to the world gently.
amanda impossiblegirl hunt - LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL those of you saying this is selfish or entitled make me laugh. You think that the idea that you MIGHT HAVE helped and/or brought food gives you the right to physically handle another human being while separating said human being from their mother isn't an entitled one? Yeah...*we* are the entitled ones, because we want our personal space respected and to be allowed to bond with our newborns uninterrupted.
amanda mcwilliams-gomez - Never *TAKE* a baby from Momma... not ever. No matter who you are. I relate 110% to this.
dan smalley - No sir, I don't like it. Grandparents are part of the family. After all, if it weren't for them, there wouldn't be Benjamin.
kristy violeta - My daughter was born 30 December at a birthing center. We were home with her the same evening. Our big Cuban family decided to throw a New Year's Eve party at my house the next day. I really wasn't too bothered... Everyone was thrilled to meet the new addition to our family!
angela dobson matthews - So sadden by this writing. I would've welcomed both sets of our grandmother's to visit. Yes, I get the importance of the mother/baby bonding. However, if you're fortunate enough to have your mother/grandmothers around during this wonderful event, they would be longing to share in the birth of a new generation to the family. I pray that my daughters would NEVER react in this manner to their in-laws or direct family members. Karma may not be so kind to you in the future.
Crystal N Gerson B and Kia Matthews please read.
karen stoeber - Wow. Interesting this woman exposes herself and her needs as a new mother and in a few comments we have racial comments, nasty name calling and just awfulness. How about we realize that we are all different and think of another's point of view before rattling off offensive prattle.
kelsey lewis - I like the "look but don't touch" approach. Germs, overstimulation and moms hormones, all reasons to be respectful. When a momma is ready to let you hold her baby she'll let you know.
annette kimball - How about whatever new mamma wants, goes. Period. When I labor for 2 days to bring forth a human child through my own body, I get to make the rules...and anyone with half a brain should understand and respect that. If you get offended and take it personally, you may want to examine what "self absorbed" means. I'm so greatful for my family, amd their amazing ability to be compassionate and aware of how these things should work.
carol ann - Yup, I experienced this with my first child. My MIL literally shoved me out of the way while I was changing my son. Then while she was holding him she would say things like 'If you do not think your Mommy and Daddy can raise you right, you can come live with me.' Suffice to say I put the kibosh to visiting after that. I wanted to check her into the wall when she shoved me.
terri tishim - Frankly, as the mother of five and grandmother of six, I found this article rude and selfish. Boundaries....it's called selfish people who divide and alienate families. I welcomed all family who wanted to come in and see my babies. I suppose this speaks to the entitled generation now having babies. Hopefully you will never need help from those you tick off with this kind of behavior.
lindsay hawkins - I felt this way with my first ones; but, then I read an article somewhere about a woman that talked about how much joy and peace and goodness that holding a new baby can bring to someone. She said she made it her goal to let as many people feel that as possible because you just never know what person might need that more than anything in the world. We have their entire childhoods to hold and hug and cuddle and for someone who has never had a baby or their babies are long since grown it might mean more to them than you could ever know. I decided that if I ever had another, I'd let as many people touch, snuggle and love as possible. :)
- In our current obstetric culture women have lots of commentators on what they should or shouldn (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-15T22:25:17+0000)
Mothering Magazine: In our current obstetric culture women have lots of commentators on what they should or shouldn't do, but few people who are just there to support them and their partner in their birth. Few who understand how to emotionally "be there" for the birth and preparation leading up to it. Few women have a strong circle of people lifting them up. This is why the doula is such an important (but oft neglected) part of the birth support team.Comments:
carmen willenbring sullo - Also - hospitals, doctors, nursing staff totally treat you differently (read: like a human being with actual real and valid opinions and the will to make choices) when you walk in with your doula. :) And one more, a good doula supports your whole family - you, your husband, your other children. I heart my doula.
sherri lynn valenzuela - My doula was a badass. My husband (now ex) was not someone you'd want to rely on as birth support.. and, long story short, it turned out that the doula was the one who drove me to the hospital and was there with me from start to finish (32 hours of labor). She was amazing and advocated for me very effectively when hospital staff attemtped stupid and unnecessary interventions. She saw to it that my birth plan was followed so I could focus on the work of birthing my son. I had an amazing OB/Gyn too, and I credit both of them for making my VBAC/no drugs/all natural birth a reality. 10lb, 13 ounce baby boy who just turned 17 this past weekend! :D
celia poehls - My wonderful doula Gail made a SIGNIFICANT difference in my second birth experience. Without her I would never have done a VBAC with no drugs! She taught me so much to prepare me for the process. In addition, having her there as my advocate who knew what things we did and did not want to have happen was crucial. BTW, this over 20 years ago now. Doulas rock!
marissa jade sedileau - Dianna <3
Couldn't have asked for better!
judy m willington - So very blessed to have had 3 awesome doulas for my births! They made my birthing experiences awesome and they helped take care of Dad too <3 Big shout out to Nancy Draznin Dolores Michael and Liz Boyd so very blessed to have you 3 wonderful ladies on my birthing team!!!!
enza cicero-lilley - Ruth, I am sorry you had that experience. It really does break my heart when I hear stories about bad doulas. :(
emily turrubiate - Vanessa Flanders!
danielle bisneau-pecoraro - Michelle Kricket Ignoto
carol comstock - Evey Hornbeck check it out
melinda shaffer - Toni Doulanowmidwifelater Hill!
hilary nimmo lounder - Kelsey Elizabeth
candace lauren walker - My husband day he would fly or doula across the country if we have another. She is the best!
elana anastasio - Emily Piper-Phillips
gil den gil - Corinn Fitzgerald
marisol flores-garza - I Also owe my VBAC w/o drugs to my doula. She empowered me to owing my birth experience my way! So worth it!
karen kennedy - I love my doulas Taniya Woody and Wendy Robertson! My husband is an amazing birth partner but my doulas were a critical part of why I remember my births with such pleasure. <3
leah chinchen malloy - Kara Chinchen ...my long distance doula ;)
anne carlson fred plessner - Maggie Rubin :-)
nicole stacy - I just wish they weren't so expensive :(
susan dion sheldon - Natural Bradly Childbirth educattors are also good, or just having an awesome husband who is there for you as this is his process too.
bridget jazel polka - Amanda Poteet-Woolen
- http://bit.ly/1qKRa8U (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-16T21:38:44+0000)
Mothering Magazine: http://bit.ly/1qKRa8UComments:
cassandra wight - I saw the chiropractor 3x a week. It was 100 % worth it and I would never go back
debbie-lee sorensen - Oh and Obstetrician was not helpful - he just called it usual wear and tear. I'd like to see him deal with that!
stephanie johnston morris - I have been working with a chiropractor and doing physical therapy since my delivery 8 weeks ago. I am almost back to normal! I delivered my baby on my side which I'm sure helped.
talia rose - I had this with both my kids. First time 22 years ago and no one had heard of it. 2nd time around, ten years ago, and it had a name. Chiropractic and acupuncture helped greatly.
amber noll - CHIROPRACTOR! I went 2x a week from 22 weeks I didn't waddle and almost painfree vs my first 2 pregnancy it hurt to walk sleep move
jennifer watts - I'm still struggling with this at 18 months postpartum. It's nothing like it was during pregnancy (I was almost in a wheelchair), but still flares up when I run after my kids or do anything strenuous, like gardening. I see a chiropractor and that makes a difference for everyday activities. My 18 month old is still nursing, so I'm hoping when he weans it goes all the way away. If not, I don't know what I'll do. :-/
pat matson aho - I experienced this with my first pregnancy and slept in a lazy boy at the end because it hurt to much to roll out of bed. I also learned to NEVER push or move an object with your feet. My other pregnancies were much better.
echo rodetsky - I had this with my 3rd. I did not know what it was called then- or rather I thought SPD was a worse diagnosed thing (I am of the "suck it up" body pain type). Walking was painful and only a chiro kept that and the sciatica from immobilizing me.
grace snow - I had it quite badly in my last pregnancy. My baby was also breech throughout my pregnancy so I think something was "off". I should've been seeing a chiropractor throughout but funds were just too tight.
danielle hettinger morales - Great tips. I had this with my last two. Chiro helped. At the end it took me at least 5 min to get out of bed in the mornings. So when my water broke with my last at 5am, I just laid there and let it all soak into the mattress bc I knew there was no springing up and rushing to the bathroom! :)
theresa wighton - Mary Catherine White
becky arnold mathers - This bothered me with my 1st, but was much worse with my 2nd. I finally saw a physical therapist that taught me how to use resistance with my hamstrings to pull my pelvis back into place. It worked wonders!
maikalani plexico - Brittny Campos , don't know if this is what you have, but thought maybe something in here could be useful? ;)
sandra smith - There is a FB group for people affected by DSP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SeparatedPelvis/
nicole khoury atkinson - CranioSacral therapy helped me walk again!
chelsea poyo-nieto - Aligned and Well :)
sarah mabardy - I had this throughout the last part of one of my pregnancies. It felt like someone kicked me between the legs. The only thing that resolved it for me was delivery and it went away a few weeks later 😥
sommer willis - I had this with my third child, sleeping was rough sometimes, but I am so thankful it was not severe and I don't have lasting pain. My doctor was sympathetic and ordered physical therapy but my insurance wouldn't cover it.
michelle batson - I'm 19 mo pp with my 3rd and suffered with this terribly my last 2 pregnancies. I still hurt at times as if I am pregnant! If I don't see my chiro regularly it gets much worse. After my second birth, chiro and yoga helped a lot. I also wonder if breastfeeding keeps those relaxing hormones going enough to keep from healing properly... I refuse to wean based off that tho. I didn't know anyone personally that had it and docs were awful. O I feel for anyone dealing with it. So painful!
cristy 'fonseca' kuyath - I think this is what I have...it is worst after laying down and getting up...I almost can't move and can literally hear my bone or something grinding together...I have been going to the chiro since before I found out I was pregnant... Has made all the difference with my sciatic nerve pain but I haven't noticed it helping with my public bone :(
noel green - Miranda, is this what you experience?
- Here are 12 alternatives to punishment that give parents and children a chance to address choic (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-22T22:14:55+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Here are 12 alternatives to punishment that give parents and children a chance to address choices and situations with the intention of maintaining a positive, respectful and peaceful connection.Comments:
heather stevens - #6 is an example of playful parenting, which is a great way to get kids to cooperate. I recommend Playful parenting by Lawrence Cohen for more great ideas.
maria renna - Actually #6 for those who haven't tried or think is silly, at my home it does work. We have this chicken puppet that my daughter loves very much and I do a funny voice to it, she pays attention to what the chicken says and follows through, she did keep up with some very few rules we have at home thanks to it. Now that she is almost 4 years old we do a lot of role playing with her plush toys and other figures, it is a great way to remind children the little things that they should do and should not do without having to be a nagger and it helps prevent rather than having to be in an upsetting situation.
kristin lynn spivack - #6 is a little ridiculous? Yeah, its SOOO RIDICULOUS to try using your imagination to engage and help teach your child LOL....
cathy breiner - I have kids ages 3, 5, 8, and 14. We stopped using punishment of any kind, including time outs, about three years ago. We haven't regretted it one bit. Instead, we rely on unconditional love, mutual respect, and honoring feelings. Are we perfect at it? No. Are my kids perfect? No. But we have definitely noticed big changes in our family. Highly recommend the book, "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort.
heather greenwood - Danicaandbry, check out ahaparenting.com for great non-punitive ideas for older kids. It's totally possible to raise even spirited kids without using punishments.
mckenzie wagner goldberg - ^^ Case in point, look how well that worked for you. Wow. This may be the wrong page for that kind of talk, dude.
More kids are spanked now than ever before (nearly 90%). It's absolutely NOT "what's wrong with kids today". A little education goes a long way. Just saying.
laura smith - Taking a break, or a "time-out" together, with my children, has been really effective for our family. Pulling them away from a situation to sit with me caused many tears for them; but the more I did it the better I felt about not leaving them alone. I'm not saying that I've never sent them to be alone in their rooms, but as my parenting evolved the sitting together really worked best and seemed to feel more like teaching then punishing.
kristy wolf - Early childhood educator have been doing this for years!!!
jennifer purscelley - #6 is a little ridiculous.
mckenzie wagner goldberg - Your comments completely negate the point you are trying to make, Ricky. If speaking like that about children and other people is *your* definition of successful... no, thanks. Not at all what I'm shooting for. Have three awesome kiddos who have never been spanked, nor will they ever be, and comments like that just reinforce our decision. I didn't say "look where it got you" - I said look how well it worked for you, in the way you're now speaking of "whoopings" and "spoiled brats". If that's how it taught you to treat people, and to just continue that cycle of how you were parented, then again, no, thank you. Know better, do better.
mckenzie wagner goldberg - Your anecdotal evidence (your sampling of friends) does not negate actual scientific and medical facts, of which there are an abundance, if one is truly interested. And punishment is not the same as discipline, which has a basis in teaching and guiding.
It amazes me when people say kids are "smart enough to be capable of manipulation", and then turn around and say sometimes the only way they can learn is by being hit. A punishment that we actually get up-in-arms about if it's applied to any other group, such as the elderly, wives, even pets. The AAP has unequivocally recommended against corporal punishment since 1998, and it's already banned in 32+ countries.
nancy emerson - #7. Give 2 Choices. I would give Rebecca 2 choices when she was a toddler and she would chose number 3 - a choice of her own creation!
jadele gotses - We have 21, 13 and 11... Have NEVER spanked but, will admit that at times there is conflict and... OMG... Yelling.... With all of our children, the most awesome thing is that we can TALK to each other... Dad & Mom are HERE and PRESENT!!! INVOLVED and excited for your future!!! We NEVER "coddled" ... Get over it... Raise your children for REAL life... If you do... They will have more WINS and be successful... LISTEN but, be stern and united on decisions as parents... We will not bribe ... There are chores, homework and basic life skills... Everyone works for their privileges.... Give your children the advantage of being strong in this crazy world!!!
danicaandbry davis - I don't like punishment for young children but honestly there has to be consequences sometimes for 5years +. My almost 6 year old is the worst right now. He gets does things to purposely bug his sisters and sometimes the cat and dog. We are trying to get him a play area outside so he can physically get out and use his energy more. But at times he does things to just "get away with it" and hurt others. Finding non punishment alternatives can be difficult with.
dara stoltzfus - I like #11 and have used that when my 8 y/o is making me wanna pull out my hair. It's always been very enlightening for me because it has given me a chance to see the situation thru HER eyes and then "I get it." I will realize that I've been misperceiving her as just being "defiant" when really there's so much more going on.
She likes it, too, because after I have her draw a picture of how she's seeing the situation I'll draw one back...and THAT is always cool, too! To see the look of understanding flash across her face once she realizes that Mom's not "just being mean" but is frustrated and why. #11 is very cool for me and one of my 8 kids...
nicole garcia wallace - Great article! Looks like Non Violent Parenting/ ECHO or Non Violent Communication. Most people on here know punishment doesn't teach anything. It focuses attention on what the child is losing by being punished. Focusing on the person who was hurt and finding a way to resolve the conflict teaches children to trust themselves. Supporting children and holding space with empathy as they process their feelings, helps them self regulate. Punishments and time outs don't teach self-regulation. Children who are spanked or yelled at have lower IQs, higher anxiety, and depression as adults. The research has been out for many years now. Alfie Kohn and Naomi Aldort are amazing. Dr. Aldort is teaching a webinar parenting class that starts in October.
petra debow - As a parent Educator I struggle a bit with some of these suggestions. They can be easily missed used.
We need to be careful with accidental rewards for unwanted behaviours. A behaviour that gets attention (good or bad) will continue.
If time out is used properly it is a great way to teach your child to self regulate. Check out Triple p -positive parenting . Parenting strategies that are well researched and proven to work.
kitty edwards - I want a chill out space, too.
ricky owen - Lol I'm not going to be rude for any of you people. So I'll leave it at this. 20 years from now when the world is 10x worse than it is now you might maybe get the idea that you had no clue what you're doing. As for the lady saying "case in point, look where that got you" uhh Yea it got me pretty far. I'm probably more successful than 99% of you brain deeds on here. If you really think stupid ideas like in this article are going to help then you are part of the problem.
ricky owen - This is stupid. This is why so many ppl grow up these days spoiled and entitled and sensitive little cry babies. Sometimes a child needs a good old fashioned ass whooping. My daughter is only 16 months right now but once she becomes old enough to know right from wrong and still decides to do wrong she will be punished accordingly.
jessica canade stark - Christine Ingersoll
- Going in to both of my births, I was probably around a -7 or a -8. Which is to say, I absolutel (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-25T19:37:16+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Going in to both of my births, I was probably around a -7 or a -8. Which is to say, I absolutely did not want pain medication. Someone at a +7 would wish for an epidural as soon as they arrived at the hospital...Comments:
melissa chvojicek - Good ol, fashion screaming bloody murder ;) cleansing for the soul haha. Drug free for me
lyla diaz moore - Medication, no. Warm Water, deep breath, and freedom of movement, YES!
erin mayhem - I have had 3 kids. With the first one, I opted for pretty much everything my doctor offered, and it was by far the worst. With the second, I had an epidural pretty early on . That one was pretty nice and cruisy until the epidural wore off @ the end, and I went from no pain to a 10 on a scale of 1-10, almost instantly. With my 3rd, I had no drugs and did deep, focused breathing. The 3rd was by far the best.
amanda johnston parham - Being in a pool of water made the difference for me.
crystal schubert - Epidural! Best thing invented!
jason-geraldine reynolds - No meds. Just water n breathing through
ines wingert - No pain medication needed.
raena powell irizarry - Four babies:
1. Hospital, had IV drugs. Stitches. Pushed for hours with 20 people staring at me. Not great....
2. Home. In water. Amazing "short" labor.
3. Home. Malpositioned baby. He came out that way. For real.
4. Home. Super quick. Loved it.
No drugs. I'd rather fully experience my births. With the first, it was all a fog and I look back at pictures and I see myself looking so despondent. I was 1000% present for the others. Totally worth the pain.
jenn pittman corcoran - None. Hypnobabies. I would describe my second birth as comfortable and nearly pain free. 14 months later and I'm still in awe!
caprice salas-woodall - No drugs. Lots of moving, listening to my body and my baby, having my husband on hand, visualization, breathing and vocalizing. Oh, and doing this in the safety of my home. Perfection.
jessica hendel calland - None...and due date is right around the corner! Thankfully, I have a patient husband, an experienced doula, and a skilled & mellow doctor who will be at my side!
rhea jussen - Deep breathing, relaxation techniques and being able to move how I want.
maya pealer - Breathing,focusing on baby
ellesa hunter - Hypnobabies self hypnosis is very helpful!
annie leos - None, except Hypnobabies. The techniques that I learned for a pain-free delivery are now helping me manage my Trigenimal Neurlogia holistically.
priscila g. r. mix - Epidural for me. Had an epidural with both my boys and a wonderful experience with it. More power to those moms who can go natural! However, no matter how much I prepared myself, the pain hit me too hard and too fast to the point of making me insane and completely sick, not tolerable by any means. Could not use any breathing technique, nothing I had practiced at all. I think women need to be encouraged to go med free, have a Doula, prepare themselves. But if really needed, there is no shame on having pain meds.
luciana q. mcclure - Being naked and with a little cold wash cloth in my forehead to control my hot flashes during transition. Oh and my husbands support :-)
sarah cat - Having the baby at home hurt WAY less!
jennifer macha - None. Hypnobabies
angela miller - Birthing pool, freedom of movement, focusing on baby, calm quiet environment... had an excellent birth.
shawn dorn - No drugs, just my body's own natural painkillers.
- Did you/would you allow your older child(ren) to attend the birth of their sibling(s)? (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-30T22:54:03+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Did you/would you allow your older child(ren) to attend the birth of their sibling(s)?Comments:
tara borin mcdonagh - My 2 yo saw his baby brother born. He was wonderful, kept checking with me to ask how I was doing and patting my arm. My midwife said "kids see us do new things every day. This is just one more of those things he's never seen Mom do before."
tamara meinecke - My little guy was 4 weeks shy of 4 years old when his brother was born. We had a hospital birth, though I'd hoped for a home birth this time. (I have MTHFR so it was a potential bleed-out situation.) We chose a hospital further from our house because it allowed siblings. We all spent the night in the hospital together (while we were still waiting). He snuggled with me for a while and it helped soothe me during the contractions. Baby brother *somehow* managed to give him a new truck to play with, though he hadn't even been born yet! (amazing) Earlier, we had practiced making the noises that "mommy might make" when I was pushing the baby out and done a few other things to prepare for the potential scariness or oddness. (He toured the hospital with me and had been to my prenatal appointments with me. We have no family in town, so he would have been with me anyway.) My husband was devoted to our almost-4-year-old, and our doula was devoted to me. My husband took him out for breakfast and also a lunch at McDonald's (special junk food treat!!!) and was back in time for the serious stuff. My son was mostly playing fairly quietly with his new garbage truck, but he definitely came over for the actual pushing out. He was so proud and amazed. He still talks about it. They spent the night with us in the hospital that night. It was super-super-special having him there. All the nurses were so impressed with him, too. I'm so happy we were able to do it like that, since I couldn't give birth at home.
jennifer wilson - Yup! Both of my children were present at the birth of my third. It was a home water birth and they both joined me in the tub during early labor and would stoke my hair and back. The youngest, was in and out and checked in with me frequently. She was almost two years old so didn't quite comprehend everything, but was happy to do her thing. My son was almost 5 and was very sweet. At one point he told my best friend (who was present and preparing lunch for them) "I wish the baby would come out soon because mommy is tired"! As soon as she was out he exclaimed, "that was amazing, AMAZING!" He still talks about it <3 I would do it the same way in a heartbeat.
rebecca sorrell - My eleven year old was the sweetest birth coach you could ever imagine.
gena horine - Well I told me older son who was 5 at the time that he could come when I had his younger brother, but he told me "I don't want to see the baby come out of your private spot." I about died it was so funny and sweet.
allison e. bembe - It's great for me to read this. I due in April and my 3 year old just informed me that he was "going to help me get the baby boy out." When I said I would be working very hard to get the baby out he said he'd work hard with me. I guess he decided he wants to be at the birth. :)
eliza jane oakes - I really wanted my son (4) to be present but he witnessed one contraction and was like PEACE OUT and left with Memaw. He wouldn't even come close enough to me for a hug and kiss goodbye. I'm actually really glad he wasn't there now, because it was such a fast and intense labor I would have been worried that he was scared.
ashley ross - No, honestly I think having my kids at a birth would be detracting for me. I would be so concerned about how they are feeling about seeing mommy in pain. To each their own though. :)
lisa la nasa - I had an accidental, unassisted home birth with #2, labor was incredibly quick and we weren't going to make it to the hospital. My husband and 4.5 year old daughter were my assistants. She was getting me water, towels, then telling the neighbors :) and watching for the midwife to arrive after her sister was born. It was beautiful and I'm so glad that she shared that experience.
marybeth nelson - Caution: bold comment ahead:
There is ZERO need for this.
amber stidam grzyb - My boys have all watched Baby story and stuff like that they know where babies come from but I don't think any would have wanted to be in the room for the birth of siblings, however they do know they will be in there with their future wife/gf for the birth of their own children lol
elise troop - No. My children should not see m private areas. They also should not be put in a helpless position because they can't stop the pain. I did not like seeing my mother in pain growing up. I don't think any child does.
betsy vaughn ayers - Of coarse, where else would they be?
deann ragsdale - My 5yo and 7yo daughters just watched their new sister be born last weekend. They sat there theater style for the last 45 min? (It was very fast overall) and I don't think any of us would have given it up.
stephanie johnston morris - I considered it, but I wasn't sure how my sensitive kids would handle seeing me in pain. As it turned out, labor started at 10pm and baby was here at 11pm and my kids were asleep.
lena juan - Yes they were 17 yrs apart great experience for my oldest that's one reason she is in College. ..
lucy williams - My 6, 3 & 20mo watched as we welcomed our last baby at home. They were amazing! My loud voice didn't scare anyone :)
brittany marie - I have two girls, both born at home. My 5 year old was my mini doula. She was very curious and interested in the birth of her baby sister and wanted to be a part of the experience so... We prepared her by talking openly about what was really going to happen. How mommy may be in pain for a little while but its all part of the process and worth it bc at the end her baby sister would be here with us! She was very receptive! We even watched some water birth videos together. She was with me all day as i labored and ate dinner and went to sleep while i stayed up and contractions got stronger and closer together! At around 1am she appeared at the top of the stairs with a stuffed animal that she insisted on bringing to me to make me feel better. She sat by my head and brought me sips of water and gently stroked my head after each push. Having her with me kept me grounded and focused and reminded me that i did it all before and could do it again! Once cassidy was born my older daughter, cameron jumped for joy! She told me that she was proud of me and that she would never forget that moment! She even cut the cord! :) giving birth is a natural thing and i believe if your child is interested in attending the birth of a new sibling then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
susan peterson - If they were awake they were there. If they were asleep, we left them asleep. All saw at least one birth. My youngest daughter at. 9 or 10 saw her oldest sister's fourth baby be born. No issues that I know of, but sometimes their reactions are not what you might expect. One four year old when asked his impression said,"Mommy pooped out a baby."
wendy sturrock - Allowing older children both girls and boys to experience the labor and birth of their siblings while still being sensitive to each child's emotions individually is a big part of truly changing the perception of labor, pregnancy and birth in the world. If our children grow up believing that pregnancy, labor and birth are natural normal processes of life, it can change the face of obstetrical care in this country.
jenni evans - My birth with my 6 year old daughter present was amazing! She was well prepared in what would happen and I have some beautiful photos of her watching her sister crowning. She got to cut the cord. She watched the placenta coming out. And she has the best bond with her now 6 month old sister! When she grows up she wants to deliver babies!
- We've had SO much fun with this post the last couple of days! Tons of parents have weighed in o (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-06T21:37:32+0000)
Mothering Magazine: We've had SO much fun with this post the last couple of days! Tons of parents have weighed in on whether or not their children's names are the lists, and many have shared their own beautiful choices. Do you see your kids' names on these lists or in the comments? :)Comments:
lori day - Only 253 people named their daughters "Princess." Stunning it wasn't more, but sad it happened more than zero times.
ash waggoner - Neither of my kids' names were on the list. My husband and I have two of the most popular names of our generation with multiples in our own families, we wanted something different for our kids. We agonized for months about what to name our daughter, pouring through books and family trees when one day I said "what do you think about Tabitha?" and it stuck. It wasn't the most popular name with certain members of our family, but from the moment she was born it fit her personality to a T. We named our son Carlin, after the late George Carlin. He meant so much to both of us, coming up as literate rebels in a very small Texas town, that we couldn't resist giving our son the most fantastic namesake we could think of.
melanie moffett plum - Nope. My daughters are Flannery and Helena.
joshandbekah digiorgio - Nope — 3 sons, Lemuel, Cedar, and Soren 😘
kelly kopicki williams - I think these lists are misleading since they count spelling variations as unique names. for instance Jacob is one of the most popular while Jaycob is one of the least? Yeah... that is the same name, lol! I have 2 kids on the first list (although my oldest is 11 and her name was not popular then) and 2 kids on neither list. :)
natalie jacqueline - Kimmy Steele did you really name your daughter Remington Steele?
misty michelle holzer - None of my kids made either lists their names are different but sound common...4 boys Holden,Hobbes,Houston,Hayes and three girls Hollis,Hopi and Hartley. My oldest son's name has gained popularity In The years after his birth and I think Hayes might too.
marney klein - Weird that there are so many "A" girl names 13 on the top list and even 8 on the lower end. I know quite a few too and my first daughter is Ani (Ah-knee)
ella danielle watson-cooper - Not on a list either! My son (6wks) is named Oren & I have two girls, Piper (6) & Ever (4)
angi moss - 1 out of 5 for us. Our boys: kierian, aiden, lycan. Our girls: kianna and inara.
sheila walsh dunton - Probably will never see my kids' names on any list, my son is Taeg and my daughter Lazuli... Surprised I didn't see Juliet, my third daughter. :)
carrie brennan leveille - My eldest (age 6) is in the beautiful least used list! Sunniva! It is an old family name and we spell it the family way: Seneva. I love that it I s uncommon but excited to see it get positive feedback.
sarah bee - Not on either list. Agnesse and Cynthia have been overlooked in the revival of old-fashioned names, which is fine by me. :)
amanda enriquez - Both of my boys first names were on the list but they have two middle names each and none of them were on there...so they are covered if they would like something more unique. We chose names that had a strong meaning and family connection. I am loving all these cool names in comments. :)
jessa spinella houfek - my babes Josephine Vita, Noah Immanuel, and Eva Maria Marigold…….Noah at number one on most popular but his middle on the least popular, haha….none of the others on the lists. Really I think kids come in with their names, my boy is SUCH a Noah, does not feel ordinary or common on him whatsoever; names are malleable and shape-shifting---a common name on my uncommon boy is pure magic :-)
katie blackwelder cannizzaro - Adrianna, it means dark water. Our other kids have dark hair and eyes and are mostly Italian. She came out a redhead w green eyes...My husband is part Irish... Lol but still love it for her :)
jacqueline wilkins - Our sons name is Jakob and our daughters name is Sloan
amanda van hoose - My daughter's name is Lua
tabitha robertson - One of my kids' names made it to a list (John), but the other two (McKayla and Daxton) didn't.
meagan sanchez - Whew! We weren't on either list
andrea rogozinski - I was surprised Sophie was not on most common. Did I miss it? I am not a fan of the name Sophia- but we loved Sophie. My other two, Greta and Elliott didn't make the list either.
- It is so easy to feel sad about how your body has changed. Stretch marks. Loose skin. Weakened (Type: link | Published: 2014-08-24T15:00:00+0000)
Mothering Magazine: It is so easy to feel sad about how your body has changed. Stretch marks. Loose skin. Weakened abdominal walls. Looser, softer breasts. That line that may run the length of your belly. That cesarean scar that will fade but always be there. Some extra fat around your middle. Your hips that widened to…Comments:
tanya mudrick - This is beautiful. Extra love goes out to all of us baby loss moms who are trying to love our postpartum bodies when we have the reminders of carrying our beautiful children but no babe in our arms.
jeannie pederson - Tanya Mudrick, love to you. <3 You still carried a human being, an eternal soul. Your life will be richer for the experience. I'm a loss mama, too, and the pain can give you a deep well of empathy for others.
maria turturici - It's hard to love your postpartum body when you have ppl who criticize
stephanie golemb - Its hard when the father of your child no longer finds you attractive and we live in a brainwashed society that frowns upon natural beauty. I'm OK with me, but I feel like I'm the only one who's OK with it.
elouise marshall - Sophia Pretorius is that sent really called for? Shows how immature and judge mental you are. This article is supposed to be helping women accept themselves in a society which seems to be ruled by bitches like you.
jeanne vogler secrest - This made my 1 week post partum self cry!
jacquelyn fras - I always like to look at the similarities in mine and my daughter's belly.. we thin out and get chunky in the same areas. If I love it on her why shouldn't I love it on myself? I like to think of the health benefits my fat has for her body since we are breastfeeding :)
rosie wear - As much as I hide my postpartum belly, I've come to appreciate it as well. It doesn't look "beautiful" but sure my babies have preferred my soft snuggly belly after nine moths inside of my soft snuggly belly. Even 2 years postpartum (and still nursing) I am okay with having a soft middle. That soft middle allows me to cuddle my toddler close without worrying that my ribs and hips are digging into him. When motherhood requires less snuggling, then I may care more about the appearance of my stomach.
kelly nussbaum - I can't help but think to when it used to bOther me. I was trying to Find the self worth in my body and how beautiful I felt. So thankful that my identity is in Christ and I can see the beautiful thing He had created my body for in the first place. It was never to make me feel beautiful (I already am to Him) it was to grow and nurture and protect and coddle... What a profound beautiful creation we are mamas :)
vanessa cavanaugh - Love this and reminds me to love myself a bit more.
rachel davey - I love that picture ! I found myself on the toilet in the bathroom nursing my one week old. I gave my camera to my 4 yr old so he would stay out of trouble for 5 minutes. He snapped some photos at some very revealing angles - belly, butt, boob, ripples and rolls galore. My instant reaction was a groan and was just about to delete the picture when I just sighed, smiled and accepted every contour of my new motherly form.
evelyn gelegonya-babare - I'm 61. I have 2 children ages 23 and 26. I never got back my prepregancy body. Try as I surely did....I never was lean and firm again. It was heartbreaking. I gave up in fact and became overweight with the excuse that I was accepting and embracing my "womanly" figure. This led to health issues as well as severe self doubt. For the last several years I have embraced wellness which has included diet changes exercise yoga and meditation. Now that my children are grown I have allowed myself to do that. I wish I would have had that confidence earlier. Better late than never
samantha kehaulani stupplebeen - Thank you for posting this. It makes the world of difference <3
jennifer atchison waldrop - I know I struggle with how my body has changed from what it was before baby. But I am so thankful my husband still looks at me as a hottie and he tells me all the time I'm beautiful! I am my own worst critic of my tummy. I am blessed to not have any stretch marks but I have a very soft middle and it looks much like the one in the picture! I don't think of it as gross though. I hate trying on clothes and I'm very self conscious of it but when I hold and feed my baby all of that bs just fades away and it was completely worth losing my six pack for my beautiful baby boy's life!
rondy lorenzo dejos - Fuck dat get your ass back in the gym asap
gayle mara - For all those expecting and new mothers, thought this was good advise.
danielle sedlak ketterson - Hang in there, post-partum gals! With all the things you have to do, you have to worry about being sexy too? You have plenty of time to "get your body back". And breast feeding really does help. When my son turned one I was thinner than before I had him, without trying! Relax and enjoy your babies !
denise canavan - This is just what I needed. Every word is so true. And we should cherish our little ones and not be worrying about what our body's look like. So glad my fiance still sees me as beautiful and attractive. I hate my tummy but I love my daughter and I would rather be in the house spending time with her than in a gym with a bunch of strangers x
caro line - Beautiful article and pictures. Awww and look at those little feet!! X
elouise marshall - Sophia Pretorius is it hard to breathe up there on your high horse? I think and hope the lady who commented above Me maybe helped to deflate your sails a little and realize what a total cow you
patrycja david kwasnik - I dont care... I have a healthy baby that's important! !!!!!
- Are your children's names on this list? (Type: link | Published: 2014-09-03T23:04:26+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Are your children's names on this list?Comments:
nicole kintzele messacar - The biggest question is why would 233 people name their baby Princess? ?? Yikes.
jaime ellis - My kids aren't on either list: Trentyn, Orion, Zander, Aurora, and Lyra
claire em - My son is Rowan. "Rowen" is on the least popular list. Strangely, he has met two other Rowans over the last couple of months :)
christine jeffrey - My son's is not on here at all. And his name is Reznor.
paige r everson - My Magnolia is pretty original.
cheryl baessler - My daughter's name is #49 on the most popular list. I don't care; I just like it.
sierra gerdes - Half of the uncommon names are uncommon because they are a) made up nonsense or b) misspelled. I don't think they should even count.
joan allen - 248 people named their girls Collins?
bonnie mcauley-anderson - I find it creepy that any government agency is the source of this data...
brandis l roush - None of my kids are on either list- Isabel, Oliver, and Violet.
krystin tschacher leonhardt - Numbers 10 and 17 on the most popular. I think Elizabeth has been on that list for like 200 years.
amy k gregory - My sons name is on the most popular list although that's not why we choose it. We just wanted something normal. Something that could be professional ( for example if he's a doctor or prime minister) or just something he could shorten if he wanted. And also something he could spell!!!!
amy willoughby - I think it would be more interesting if they combined all the alternative spellings.
christina eix - My kiddos missed both lists! Althea and Theron.
melissa alcott - When I had my Charlotte in 2009, you never heard the name! Now it's #11? Poop.
laura harrhy - Urgh this makes it seem like we chose a "popular" name at number one :( he was our Noah before we even conceived x
kristin jenkins - My son Dylan is number 28 on the popular list. My daughter Annabelle is on the least popular list but I guarantee you my youngest 'Cambria' is even less popular.
crystal stokes - My daughters name isn't on either list- I'm so glad it's never been popular, I'm not a fan of overused typical names.
ashley m. gregori - Wow! My daughters name, Sadie, is number 50 in popularity!
naomi williams - My older two are (Daniel and Elizabeth), but my two year old isn't! Her name is Gwendolyn, or Gwennie, if you ask her.
lisa george - The name Lloyd has not been in the top 1000 since 2002. My poor kid :)
- Let me tell you about my son. He’s three. He’s imaginative. He can be a wild man. He’s se (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-08T20:00:00+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Let me tell you about my son. He’s three. He’s imaginative. He can be a wild man. He’s sensitive. He loves his ballet classes. He loves princesses. I would not change a thing. Not one single thing.Comments:
lawanda kress - I have to wonder why the author assumes that the little boy who said princesses were gross was "taught" that, but she sees her son as "being himself" for liking them, rather than being "taught" ...even tho it's completely obvious she loves princesses herself.
echo rodetsky - My son likes his nails painted, too. Dark green- his favorite color- so they're "like a pirate".
johanna love - Jerusha, why encourage them to be a man or a woman by YOUR definition? Why not just let them BE? My beloved cooks, cleans, raises our 3 boys, all while rocking my world. He is a real man to me, but maybe not to you. We all have different tastes!
olivia hinebaugh - I'm the author and I want to thank everyone who has commented. I feel a tremendous amount of support, especially from mothers who have had similar experiences. To clarify: I was never into princesses, but my son is. He plays dress up with his friends, reads fairy tales, and sees movies. He also loves cars, trains, and other "boy" things. What I was trying to reflect is that we all just do the best we can for the kids we have. Thanks again for your thoughts. I'm glad this is something that can be discussed and not dismissed.
jerusha lupi - Gosh why not let men encourage boys and teach them what it is to be a man? Whats so bad about pointing out what things are best left to girls and what are more inline with their masculinity? Its called learning. You ladies need to stop being so soppy and silly, painted nails at 3 is fine, so are sparkly shoes but the reality is your son is a boy and will one day be a man and needs guidance toward that, so keep that in mind - who's to say your not part of the problem? I want my son to be proud of the differences between himself and his sisters and to embrace all the exciting things being a man can bring and I trust the men in his life to teach him. Who cares if it means he misses out on pretty painted nails.The same applies for my girls. Finally I hope they also learn to appreciate the differences in the opposite sex and see them as a desirable addition to their own lives when they grow up. I dont think my boy will care about having been discouraged from wearing pretty nail polish or barbie tshirts then, im sure he will appreciate the assurance from his parents from a young age that he is a boy /man and can grow easily into that. Im sure he will appreciate pretty nails on his wife instead.
brenda baskerville-graff - Ok so I have a pic of my 21 year old son in tights and a velvet dress while he was playing dress up. He now is definitely a grown up hetero sexual man. We didn't make a big deal out if it at the time. I believe if we give our kids room to be who they are then they will become who they are meant to be. No judgement here.
crissy morgan - I love this. It drives me nuts when my father, or anyone else for that matter tells my son he can do or like something because "that's for girls". My son has two older sisters. When they get their nails painted he want his done too. He's five. And being from a family that doesn't buy in to gender divisions much, he's gonna be a little different. He'll figure out in his own time what's acceptable for him personally. And hopefully without too much social pressure.
sheri lieffring - My daughter is also 3 and loves dinosaurs, jaguars, Diego, bugs, climbing and running and playing ball. She has shown zero interest in anything princess, but does love her baby sister and taking care of her baby dolls. She is going to be a dragon for Halloween this year and is so excited. She has also decided that baby sister will be a dinosaur. I, too, worry so much about future bullying and stereotyping because she is beautiful, loving, sweet, and imaginative and energetic, athletic and....and innocent. She loves and feels all of life with her whole heart and I know she can be hurt. But all I can do is tell her all of these wonderful things I love about her always and tell her she is perfect and loved....always loved...no matter what.
faith hofer - Mine dresses as a princess, paints his nails, and pretends to be He-man when he talks to people. Nice mix of interests. :)
susan fischer - No matter if this is a phase or a potential lifestyle for your son, I believe he is going to be one of the most open and honorable men out there. I have plenty of pics of my middle son at age 3 playing dress up in his sister's clothes and he also liked to be naked as much as possible until at least age 5. I always want my children to express who they are and be proud of that, even if it is against society's norms. He is 12 now, he doesn't dress in girls clothes and he does not walk around naked, but I will tell you what he does do, he does have a huge, open heart and he walks on a path of not only tolerance, but of acceptance for others. Social Justice issues are very important to him even at age 12. You sound like a wonderful loving mother to me!
shannon maclaggan - I think children only want to eat ice cream and cupcakes because most parents dangle it over their heads for the sake of rewards and punishments. I think if we treated children like actual human beings rather than annoyances to be managed, we would see that they want to do well, eat well, learn, please etc. Just like a child will learn to read when he is ready and it makes sense for them, not when a parent or teacher dictates the terms.
erin chard - Have a son (4) with very similar interests. Adores dressing up like a princess, having his nails done, purple has been his favorite colour for almost 2 years. He is currently growing his hair long and sometimes wears a pink headband to school. He also takes a ballet class and he had one little boy say to him last year 'dancing is for girls'. It makes me sad. My son, and yours, are beautiful, sensitive beings and I wish they'd be allowed to grow without the judgment and comments. How come no questions when a girl wears blue? Congratulations to you on being a WONDERFUL, loving mother to your son. I am proud of you and know you are not fighting this alone!
irene elisabeth hitchcock - I love you sooo much for being so wonderful to your wee man. Look how happy he is. You are such an inspiration. Much love to you and you son and your whole family! :D (y) ♥ ♥ ♥
jessi taylor - Love this too! Unfortunately, as they grow older, the comments from other closed-minded people will drag him into conformity. My son is eight now, and I couldn't be with him 24/7 to help him work through the harassment when he wanted to wear nail polish and butterflies and flowers out of the house. :-( he doesn't even go out to play anymore. I just want him to stay innocent and true to himself forever, but it doesn't work in this society that's obsessed with putting people into molds and ridiculing them if they don't fit.
connie nour hinkle - DD played exclusively with Thomas the Train until she was 3yo. Then it was horses, then Star Wars and now at 12 it's archery & soccer. We've raised her to explore the world and know no matter what she did out there, she'd always be accepted back here.
christal butler - For the most part, people are allowed to raise their children how they see fit. I support traditional gender roles. I don't encourage my son to pursue activities traditionally pursued by girls. Nor do I encourage him to dress like a girl or to be feminine. To each his/her own. If others want to do so with their kids, that's their choice and right. I don't judge them. As for me and my family, we don't play like that.
eliza jane oakes - My son (3) loves bugs and trucks and cats. And pink and books and dirt. I wouldn't be able to push him into dresses and nail polish if I wanted to. He's just not fancy. But I do encourage his interests, whatever they are (with safety in mind, I will never encourage his interest in running around the house with a blanket over his head, running into walls). I loved the part about not wanting to cut his options in half. How is he supposed to discover what he likes if I'm standing in the way, trying to guide him away from perfectly innocent things? What if he misses out on a passion for fashion because I told him boys don't wear pink, or boys shouldn't spend so much time making sure their outfit matches? That would be a shame. He really has an eye for color. I know that most people aren't ready for throwing out traditional gender roles, but they will be eventually. Maybe he will contribute to that when raising his own kids. And he will remember that his parents never tried to stifle his interests.
eliza jane oakes - ^ That would certainly be unhealthy. But headbands? Yeah, I think he'll be fine.
nicole cormier toolan - My son who is now 7 is sandwiched between two sisters. He has alway played dress up with them. One day he asked me to buy him a dress in Nordstrom. My husband and I have never sex stereotyped out kids so I thought why not? So I bought the dress, he wore it around the house and eventually tired of it. He grew out of his dress stage as he did other stages. But when I bought the dress all I thought was, "He will always know that I accept him amd love for who he is no matter what."
tara thomason mccraw - My 3 yr old son doesn't really have any feminine interests BUT I loved this article & shared it bc it's what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is all about!!! I have more than 1 friend who's sons do these things & 1 boy started withdrawing & pushing away from his father bc he'd come home from work & "shame him" & correct him when he was dressed up in his sister's tights, a dress or cheerleader outfit (the mom allowed him to do what made him happy)....the Dad finally realized he was losing a valuable relationship with their 3 yr old son, who's now 4 & he started accepting him & not "getting on to him" for dressing like a girl & guess what? The boy doesn't do it as much anymore....not that it would matter if he did....but the point is, the boy just wanted to be loved & accepted for who he was CHOOSING to be, not scolded when his Dad came home from work for something so petty! I live in the South & my boys hair is a little long & curly & I just to dress him smocks quite often & still occasionally do & people either love it or hate it, but it makes me SO MAD when people tell me I'm making my boy girly, a sissy or confusing him for putting him in a BOY's smocked outfit, like a Jon Jon or longall! I don't dress him that way daily & never did....he looks precious in shorts & tees too...but, I like both looks & if HE didn't want to wear it, I wouldn't force him too...I try to give him options with clothes & shoes as it helps him learn INDEPENDENCE! Keep fighting the good fight, mamas!!! ❤
katie brach - I recently found my daughter playing tea party with her cars. I couldnt help but feel like a proud mother :)
- My sweet girl is 10 1/2 months old. She wakes to nurse at least three times per night. So, I am (Type: link | Published: 2013-10-08T17:00:00+0000)
Mothering Magazine: My sweet girl is 10 1/2 months old. She wakes to nurse at least three times per night. So, I am wondering when other breastfeeding, bed sharing babies finally slept through the night. Please share!Comments:
hillary hildebrand - Around 2 years. Sorry to be a downer, ha
jamie wise - 3.5 years old...I'm tired.
janet sellers - my babies sleep with me until they decide otherwise. they sleep through the night after they wean.
alicia martinez - Not sure. I was too busy sleeping to pay attention
jennifer wenzel - About 3 is when the scale tipped to more sleeping nights. But, they all still wake. Heck, I wake to drink or bathroom.
amber seber - Both of mine always have except for when they were teething but I consider STTN to be a 6 hour stretch.
brenda hefti - Um, he still doesn't? He's over 4 years old. Hahahaha!
elizabeth balabayev - Six weeks for all three. My kids always slept like rocks... I think I must have maybe been sleep-nursing them!
winter twisp - Almost 3 and not yet...oh wait, I'm almost 30 and I still don't. Such a crazy expectation when it's natural to wake throughout the night. Only difference between adults and babies is that adults can usually fall back asleep on their own.
stephanie rachel smith - Hasn't yet :-( going on 28 months
eliza jane oakes - He's three and has some nights where he doesn't wake up until morning, but usually it's more like 3 or 4am. Still though! It was every two hours for over two years so I'll take it!
ky d. leimkuehler - At a couple weeks
annabel newfield - I slept through night feeds so they just didn't really bother me! But she didn't sleep through without waking till 3
lilah gardner - It took her about 4 years - once she stopped nursing.
hilary buckwalter - Still nursing 3 or so times a night at 17 mos, more when teething...more as in, like a newborn. :)
holly deering - It happens sometimes now! And he sleeps alone mostly now too. He will be 3 in December. :)
priscilla tennant herrington - Every child is different. Just remember that after the first year, the parent's needs are as important as the child's and so any solution you discover must meet both sets of needs!
sarah martyn - If you define sleeping through the night as 5 hours straight (which is how its usually defined for babies) then my current baby has been since she was about three weeks old. Goes to bed around 9:30, wakes up once between 3-5 to eat, goes right back to sleep til around 7 :-)
kimberley hodgdon landsman - 6 YEARS. And at ten my husband still lays with him until he's asleep in his own bed.u lovely son likes to tell us that "if we hasn't coslept he'd be more confident to sleep on his own. Oy vay
kamora herrington - umm, we're at 20 months and I have no answer...yet!
jen beeman - My 3 yr old is just starting to sleep all the way through a 10-12 hour stretch. If we're considering 5-6 hours to be STTN then since maybe 10 months.
- Love this list....what would you add as Number 11?? (Type: link | Published: 2014-08-12T22:01:52+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Love this list....what would you add as Number 11??Comments:
bridget emrick kesling - Lose all vanity during the nursing years. :)
danielle eder - Unintentionally memorize theme songs to kids shows, get them stuck in your head, and get caught in public singing them to yourself
dora tinsley - The other day my toddler had a bogey up his nose and in the absence of a tissue I picked it out with my fingers!!! I just said to my husband I never thought I would do that for another person...
jody warren - Use my saliva and thumb to clean my kids face! I used to HATE that when my mother would do that, and here I'm doing it too! When you don't have wipes what do you do? Lol
erica l. howard - No to #8! Never could stand tardiness and still can't!
michelle ugochukwu - Starve and learn to eat cold food. Mama doesn't eat until the baby is all taken care of!
veronica schmucker - Absolutely do NOT catch vomit in my hands.
candice hope kush - 11. Let your kid eat food off of (your own) floor because you are too exhausted to get to it first or replace it.
carrie robertson - Develop spider senses. I can tell what they're doing and it baffles them.
julie bunn - Sleep the coma-like sleep of a teenager. Any little sound rouses you. My mom told me that once you're a parent, you never sleep as soundly as you did before, and so far, she is right.
jennifer donnelly - Feel guilty about things you swore you would never feel guilty about... From the second you find out you are pregnant! It never ends...
sally byrn - My 11: lie to ur kids about whether the park, pool, Wal-Mart, ice cream store is open.
karin shetler johnson - Hide in the dining room to catch up on Facebook. Guilty...
homeschooling: why and how - Value your own life far more because your child depends on you.
holly madore smith - Pick a nose that isn't yours!
lisa simpson mcquarrie - Get over the idea that you NEED 8 hours sleep to function!
brandy quillen - I'll never forget the first time I caught vomit in my hands. It was in the car & my husband was laughing so hard. I had to yell at him to pull over.
emily george - 11.)Tell another human to not bite you..
sabrina marie guillemette - Be glad that a child is throwing a fit in a store-because for once it's not yours.
dawn m stary - #11 pick a bugger off your friend's toddler's nose without thinking twice.
valérie gélinas - Taking your shirt to wipe your toddler's nose because you dont have a kleenex and there's juste NO WAY you are leaving the park so soon just for a stupid kleenex ;-).
- Olivia Wilde isn’t the first celebrity mom to make a point of showing off her choice to breas (Type: link | Published: 2014-08-11T21:32:43+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Olivia Wilde isn’t the first celebrity mom to make a point of showing off her choice to breastfeed, and she won’t be the last, but some are saying that this beautiful shot in the Sept ’14 issue of Glamour is doing more harm than good.Comments:
patrease woodside - Personally, it seems like all I ever hear is how HARD breastfeeding is and how if it just doesn't work in the beginning then you should just give up. I think it's wonderful how many women are actually even TRYING to breastfeed and if celebrity endorsements and photos help more women even TRY or even give it serious consideration, how can that be a bad thing? By the way, PARENTHOOD is hard. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't advertise the positives of it. Lord knows parenting (and breastfeeding) could use more good and glamorous press. Maybe it will make some people try harder. You never know.
And I think this is a beautiful photo! Makes her look like as glamorous and powerful as we women should FEEL while and about breastfeeding our babes. It is a pretty incredible thing! :)
rebekah goodyear - I cannot comprehend the debate. She did a photoshoot; I read her comments on Twitter. Baby got hungry, she fed him and allowed them to photograph it. So what? It's a very nice photo. The baby even peed on her beautiful, expensive dress lol. I don't see the issue.
jenn cameron - So because some people find breastfeeding difficult, the ones who don't are supposed to hide and not talk about it? I think breastfeeding needs to be normalized. I don't see what there is to debate about.
amber stidam grzyb - Its just stupid there is a debate at all. Bottle moms can continue to use bottles and breastfeeding moms should be free to breastfeed its really not a matter for debate. Don't like watching breastfeeding or looking at the photos than don't look. Same with bottle feeding don't like it don't look.
marjorie altman tesser - She's pretty daring to nurse a naked baby in that fancy dress!
michelle mielewski baum - The moment you spend any time debating this sort of thing, patriarchy wins. Stop it.
christina savage - I'm starting to become really tired of reading all the BFing drama. I'm gonna have to get rid of all my natural parenting blogs. I breastfeed and I'm tired of everyone debating. I don't care what everyone else does or doesn't do. I do it because I can and its best for my kids. I realize its not always so simple but seriously can we STOP discussing it.
christie bittner - The more breastfeeding is normalized the better. It doesn't really matter if it is glamorous or not.
lisa tokaryk-conley - Debate? Over this? What has happened to our world?
nicole stacy - What's there to debate? First it was BFing moms vs FFing moms, now it's every day BFing moms vs celeb BFing moms. Guess what we ALL have in common: we're MOMS! Stop the mommy wars. I'll never look like a Victoria Secret model, but I don't pitch a fit because they make it look so easy to look so great lol. Cmon people lol.
wesley vanderzalm - They say "Causes Debate" and you then believe there is something to debate. This is classic NLP.
It's like saying "The debate over spanking sparked anew" when in fact the debate is long over, spanking is harmful and assult.
rachel white - I think it is great and is helping to normalize it. Whether it is hard to do or not is not the question.
susan fischer - I think it helps normalize breast feeding. And, yes, it's not easy in the beginning, but the more we see breast feeding in the media the more "normal" it will become. More power to her!
christina savage - One more thing.. The reason I'm tired of it is that there is just so much negativity in the comments always.
penelope clarkakates - Sheesh! I cannot wait for the day when everyone just relaxes and chills out!!!
maceo cabrera-estevez - I don't understand how breastfeeding became a choice. We naturally produce milk. We choose to stop it, not start it.
mandy stephanson - Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. That's why I made a point of doing two photo collages on my Instagram page to show both the easiest and hardest versions with my son - same baby, different days. You know what? Both are ok! Every breastfeeding relationship, heck every breastfeeding session, is different. Anyone up in arms about a mama looking fancy while easily nursing her baby needs to examine their perspective. For her, that's everyday life. That should be ok too.
tropicalstorm cristina gonzalez - There's only a debate because some websites are trying to stir the pot
amy jones - I think it's a great picture. Obviously this is not a newborn. The first few weeks are the hardest. Celebrate what you love instead of bashing others for what you hate!
tina bowers smith - Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. Why does everything have to cause controversy? She was doing something natural and thought it was sending a good message to support breast feeding. Not everyone can do it, but those who can shouldn't have to deal with others shaming them for it or calling it indecent. I breast feed three of my sons with no problems. My fourth was born premature and sent 77 days in the NICU. He's had all sort of problems including feeding problems and I have to bottle feed him my milk. I keep trying to get him on the breast but at five months, we still struggle to make the few times a week we are successful work. I think this is a beautiful photo and I don't feel like it is meant to throw her ability to do this in anyone's face.
christina mackey - Dear everyone,
Calm the eff down, for some it's easy, for some it's hard. Nothing worth fighting over.
- I have a pack ‘n play. Before my first was born, I dutifully set it up right next to the quee (Type: link | Published: 2014-08-11T17:24:40+0000)
Mothering Magazine: I have a pack ‘n play. Before my first was born, I dutifully set it up right next to the queen-sized bed I shared with my husband. I bought five sheets for it. I was doing what I had read was the “best” way to …Comments:
rebecca winters - I think the "hard" decision would be to put the baby in another room... We brought our son home the day he was born -took a picture of him in front of his crib- then brought him into the bed with us. We currently have two kids in the bed, not telling their ages, but it's all good and fun, and bedtime is a joy!
jennandtrip rice - Why is that a hard decision?
sarah chancey wommack - So many family unintentionally sleep with their babies, not aware that there are safe ways to bed share. I find it so sad that there is such a stigma that mothers don't feel free to talk to the pediatrician without fear of being admonished. It would be so much better to instead make safe bed sharing standards easy to find. The "don't ever bring baby to bed with you" recommendation is a dangerous one.
modern mucha - Not a hard decision for me with any of my 4 kids. Best decision I made.
kylee logan - I had to go to a cardiologist once. My daughter came up in conversation and he immediately asked about this. He then lectured on the dangers. My reponse was "wow you are a cardiologist AND a pediatrician AND a child sleep expert? Impressive." he shut up :-)
heather paish - We have a family bed. My 7month old sleeps with us. We love it and i dont plan to move her out of the family bed untill she asks to sleep in her big girl bed. Dont we all want to sleep cuddled with the people we love?
kalasara setaysha - No other mammal makes their babies sleep away from them. It is not natural. Humans forget sometimes that we too are mammals and by design are meant to stay close to our young.
amanda mcconaghy - The only hard part has been dealing with other people's disapproval. But oh well!
elizabeth stallard rank - It wasn't a hard decision- it was natural and easy. :)
jill meltzer - All other mammals co-sleep with their babies - what is that telling us?
maggie flantz panning - I LOVE bedsharing. There is nothing more natural. It shouldn't even have a name. I tell everyone how much I love it. I honestly believe it's safer, because nothing can escape my knowledge, and I can feel and hear him breathing and moving. We are so in sync. Plus, there's the bonus of feeling his little feet on my belly, his tiny hands on my arm or face or chest, his little forehead and fuzzy hair under my lips. And his smiles when he wakes up. There's no better start to the day than when we wake up together. Parents who sleep separately from their little ones just don't know what they're missing.
jen wilson loggins - I never really intended on bedsharing, but a baby waking to nurse every 2 hours quickly changed that. I co-slept with my baby son in my bed, only having to wake for a second to roll over and latch him on, then quickly fall back asleep while he did his 3am feeding. I seriously don't know how people function who do the whole crib thing. I was so exhausted when mine were infants that I could barely manage the rolling over and lifting my shirt part of the feeding. I can't imagine having to physically get up out of a deep sleep, walk down the hall, pick the baby up out of the crib and sit up for a feeding. A lot of couples fight about midnight feedings, we never did because of bedsharing and breastfeeding my husband always got a good night's sleep and so did I.
megan kozyra - I had such guilt that we bedshared with our son, from about a month old, to now, at 2 years old. As a pediatric nurse, I feel that it's always been my dirty little secret. Thank you for this article.
victoria smith hussey - As a NICU nurse, I had to put behind 25 years of telling other parents not to bed share. Amazing how easy it was for me, my husband and son to bed share.
brenda ghezzi - It was hard for me to listen to myself and not the main stream that it was something bad and harmful.
taylor mchan - I couldn't imagine not getting to cuddle with Kaya. We fight about who gets to cuddle her. Haha. We have a great bed sharing relationship. We all get the most sleep possible and get to share so much special time together! It has been so easy to transition her into my life with love and respect for her, and we are all learning so much about life together. I would highly recommend co sleeping! It's easy to let your instincts take over on some things!
mary grimmer - Best thing we ever did. We all slept better. Of course the crib became a toy box !!
kayla williams - I have done it without thought. I do what my instincts tell me to do. I love having my babies sleep next to me :)
tiffany tamucci - Bed sharing was such a natural decision for me. Like the author stated it was not my intention but after my oldest was born it just naturally happened and I educated my self on how to do it safely.
erin level - Ashley this is a wonderful article!!
jess amos cruiseabout herveybay - The midwife at hospital told me to put my baby on my chest and go to be 2 days old
- It began simply by reading the medical literature myself so I could more confidently explain th (Type: link | Published: 2014-08-09T18:35:03+0000)
Mothering Magazine: It began simply by reading the medical literature myself so I could more confidently explain the risks and benefits to parents. However, when I read the literature, I realized that the purported benefits simply didn't make sense and the risks were not ethically acceptable.Comments:
leah goering - My one month old had to see a urologist and we told him he was intact. The dr. asked why we didn't circumcise and I replied, "because it isn't medically necessary" and I prepared for a fight. He replied, "ok good, it isn't. I have three sons and they weren't circumcised." He went on to say that his adult son did opt to be circumcised and I was so happy that he wasn't gonna fight us and that his son got to make that decision in lieu of it getting made for him.
alana deforest - The rudeness of anti-circ folks tells me we made the right decision TO circumcise our son. Each parent is doing what THEY believe is best for their child, being hateful only makes me LESS likely to consider your insights.
lynn fingerhut - Saying intact is cleaner isn't rudeness. It's science.
cristy jarboe moya - I was a nursery nurse for years....this is truly the most barbaric thing I have ever witnessed! The docs claim they will numb the baby, most lie, use numbing cream then cut them! The baby is strapped down to a circ board and screams a blood curling scream! It's awful!!!!
beth scraper - How is it an act to show THEIR devotion if they aren't even old enough to understand religion let alone worship some one
jennifer laws barker - When I was a pharm rep, I called on urologists and it never failed they were always talking about fixing botched circs. So sad! And unnecessary.
erin stewart bonello - Yes, Lisa, a personal decision for the person to whom the penis belongs. No one else 💔I'm sorry that happened to your son.
hannah elizabeth perkins - My son is circumcised and I don't regret it in the least. I have read far too many articles of its benefits. He was perfectly fine, healed perfectly fine, and wasn't in pain for very long. It's like if he had a tongue tie and needed it clipped. Short pain he'll never remember, comforted at my breast right away.
diana baseman - God created boys the way he did for a reason. Circumcision is unnatural and unnecessary. None of our 5 sons was circumcised nor were my father and two brothers. None of them and no one I know has had problems. Circumcising all because of medical problems of a few is wrong. Of course circumcision may be necessary for some due to a medical problem.
susan dion sheldon - When my first son was eight days old, my husband forced a circumcision, I saw the pain in my babies eyes and swore he no longer trusted me. My second son was not circumcised I am glad for that. If you want to be cut wait till your are grown and can make that choice yourself.
lynn lee novak - When I was pregnant with my son, my obstetrician told me she had been required to assist with circumcisions during her residency. She told me she had seen babies faint from the pain. She said circumcision was up to me, but she would not be the doctor doing it. She was against it. She didn't circumcise her son. I decided to leave my baby boy intact. He's 21 now, and when I asked him about it, he said it has never been an issue for him.
irena pannacchione - The article didn't give me any scientific reason for not circumcising except "buy my book"
nicole babick-akishin - So , Melissa ... Do you have trouble keeping your vagina clean?
What a pleasant way that your "lord" would like you to demonstrate your devotion by cutting on your newborn baby .
amanda hailey brannan - We chose not to curcumcise. We just didn't find it necessary.
kenla rae hearne-nelson - Why is this anyone else's concern? Do what you think is best for your child. It's your business. Not the rest of the world's.
beth scraper - And are forced to undergo the procedure kicking and screaming without consent
emily wicks - If circumcision really prevented STD'S why do circumcised guys need to wear condoms?
lisa vicedomini - We didn't have our son circumcised and when he was about a year old the skin grew closed (he couldn't urinate)and he had to have an emergency circumcision. That was horrible. As all things with mothering and parenting ...it's a personal decision. :)
erin stewart bonello - Melissa, that is Old Testament---and it was NOtHiNG like the circ's performed today!
angela bruneau - What a useless interview! The interviewer did not probe what didn't add up, not a pinch of science from either end. Sigh
lo maret - about friggin time, that doctors started speaking out about this, instead of just making money from hurting our babies.