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- Find more from Sarah on the Mama Birth Blog. I remember registering for my first baby before he (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-18T22:57:30+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Find more from Sarah on the Mama Birth Blog. I remember registering for my first baby before he was born. I went to a giant baby warehouse store with a HUGE corporate list of things that I “needed” for this new little one and obediently registered. And then he came. The crib sat in the …Comments:
yremogtnom enna - I tell everyone all you NEED for a newborn is a mother. And diapers are useful. Everything else is optional.
srewob assilem - I generally agree with all of these, except...I do think babies need socks. Especially when going out in public and/or being outside in colder weather. Yeah, you will lose some socks, but baby socks are pretty cheap.
nitram k e esined - ??? By definition, unless your baby is to go naked for months, you need a "layette". It's just a fancy word for clothes for the baby. Doesn't mean fancy clothes, just means baby clothes.
htoob dnalhgih lem - This article was stupid when it was written and posted the first time. Sure, some of these items are not needed for some moms. Everyone's list of what is and isn't needed for a new baby is going to be different. Not every mom has the luxury of staying home with her baby, or a baby with a great latch so mom never needs to pump. Not every mom wants to co sleep, not every mom can baby wear and needs options for putting baby down. I get it. It was suppose to be light hearted, but of all the unnecessary baby items to list items like breast pumps and cribs and swings is silly and, honestly, sounds incredibly privileged.
Who the heck doesn't know what a layette is? I'm pretty sure all babies need clothing.
kceb yma - No crib? Uh...yeah, that's dangerous. I'll just put her in the drawer. 😝
nodrog e tenaj - I rec'd my first issue of "Mothering" at my first baby shower; it was the Jan/Feb 1998 issue and had an article by Heather Henderson entitled "Nursery - Not". It was along a similar theme - I remember it well. That was also the beginning of my love affair with "mothering" and "Mothering"! :)
yar aveyozrim arian - I have all and use them all, and while I didn't NEED the wipes warmer, I'm happy I got it after seeing how my baby cried with a cold wipe. Shoes - definitely yes to socks, but shoes are too cute to pass 😉 had only a bouncy seat with first one, but also have a swing with the second cuz he doesn't dig the bouncer! And it buys me time to run around the house and get things done. Didn't have a baby monitor the first time, and don't yet for my second baby, but about to get a video monitor for when he starts sleeping in his crib in his room 😊
alocin tffp ycnan - Bad article. Every mum and household is different. Can't fit a cot in my room. Need a crib which I got from Ebay second hand for 30 quid. It's beautiful and was hardly used by the person I got it from but I wouldn't do without it. As for baby monitor this is good 4 me now as I keep having to run upstairs every 20 minutes to check on my baby. Sometimes she pulls the covers over her head so my monitor is so helpful . No more achy thighs. As for baby wipe warmer not nessacary but handy as my house is quite cold even when heating on and my baby jumps every time I wipe a freezing wipe all over her bum. Not all Sleepsuits have feet and i don't want to make my baby cold by having her feet exposed mid Feb in my cold house so socks are important. What if you want her to wear pants or leggings ect? Can't leave her barefoot! As for pacifiers mine was given one in the neonatal unit as she was born at 2 months premature and the babies are given them ad there are so many. They can be given anytime you don't need to wait 6 weeks and my baby enjoys them
rogergcam eirrak - I really love my video monitor. I didn't use it for baby but for toddler and older. It has saved me from so many wet sheets and night time wandering.
rolyat icsa eitak - My baby is almost 8 months old and has still never seen the inside of his crib ;)
deer mj - Every. Child. Is. Different. Some children like those with sensory issues need a wipes warmer. And, every parent is different. It's fantastic that so many don't have feeding issues. Kudos to them!! Some have ongoing and awful feeding issues and a pump is absolutely necessary, perhaps even an expensive one. This is a myopic article about the experience of one person that uses tone to imply that those that rely on these things are somehow doing it wrong. I'm thankful when parents simply support one another. Parenting is hard enough without implied judgment.
karovd netsirk - Wish I would have had this info before my LO arrived! I would have saved a lot of money & room in the house!! LOL
lenhef yffud refinnej - Wipe Warmer, diaper genie, baby shoes and theme nursery I agree with. The bouncer seats and swings I think depends on the baby and family dynamics. I have 4 and I used it with some and not with some. My oldest and 3rd liked the swing, 2nd and 4th did not. My boys all loved the bouncer jumperoo thing and my daughter hated it. Every baby is different and I know for a short time the swing saved my sanity with my first. Crib - my first didn't see the inside of the crib ever. My second did for a short while. My 3rd did when he was too big for the rock n play and my 4th got the most mileage from it. All different dynamics going on though as my daughter seen the crib the most mainly because my boys were constantly jumping in my bed in the middle of the night and I didn't want them crushing or smothering her. To each his own!
On the themed nursery though that's a hard one to pass on if you are a first time parent. Every new mom loves to create a nursery! No the bulky themed crib bedding isn't necessary at all but the nursery sure was fun to do!
gniwue anuasat - Hmmm, let's see.... Bought the fancy Amby Baby "crib", used for some amazing pics, then in my bed.... Fast forward 3 yrs later, bought beautiful pink/satin princess canopy bed with all the bells and whistles... Again, good for some amazing pics.. Then back in my bed. Now age 6 & still in my bed. :)
sttaw ynaffit - Yeah, I have to disagree... maybe you live in Hawaii, Florida, or SoCal where it's always warm but socks are kinda important in cold weather, a lot of baby's heat escapes there. Paci's are great for preemies. Cribs are excellent to use from the get-go so babies don't freak out when you introduce them at 6+ months and then wonder why they're losing it because they're in this foreign cage. All three of mine LOVED their swings (Mamaroo ALL the way, and this particular one is actually good for babies with reflux). Oh, and many people do have houses that are large enough to warrant monitors.
Need? Cloth diapers and mom's breasts.... convenient and very usable? A lot of stuff.
kcolrups ylime - A video monitor comes in handy when you co-sleep
nosretep nasus - If you are staying home with your baby what use would you have for a breast pump? I nursed nine babies and never had one.
uicnehg-kalwag eener - I loved my wipe warmer. I did keep my cloth wipes in it but even more so, I loved that when i changed my infants at night, I didnt disrupt them too much with a cold wipe to clean their poopy diaper. My boys all learned to sleep right through their night time change. I cloth diaper btw. Also a bouncer was all we used and it was nice for when i needed to put baby down like during a showers, cooking or other housework. I could keep baby very close but not have to constantly wear baby.
evol nadnerb - I distinctly remember feeling chumpy on the way home with the wipe warmer.
htebazile eirrac - For my first baby I was thrown a baby shower with guest list totaling 80 women. I received all of these things (and loads more) and didn't use a single one of them lol. The things I thought I "needed" basically were all just stored in the closet while the adorable crib, bedding, nursery decor, pump, bottles, wipe warmer ...etc, all collected dust (so to speak). For my second baby..... all I "needed" were some new onesies & diapers lol. The couch (or floor) was the perfect changing table, our bed was plenty big enough for all of us, didn't need bottles- I had boobs- and was very fortunate to be able to stay home with both my girls.... while I realize that some of these items work for other families ....for us we learned that we really didn't need all that much to raise our family.
drofwarc eisiam - So I LOVE mothering but, I use monitors, a diaper genie, a jumper and an expensive breast pump ( insurance paid for it)
- Parents now seem to be divided into two camps—the “pro-vaccine” and the “anti-vaccine. (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-20T21:35:22+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Parents now seem to be divided into two camps—the “pro-vaccine” and the “anti-vaccine.” But these are false categories that fail to acknowledge the range of difficult decisions that parents make regarding vaccination.Comments:
enizagam gnirehtom - Editor’s Note: Open discussion is welcome on Mothering, hate is not. Please respond thoughtfully and respectfully or your comment may be removed.
wommug nnyl hakeber - Thank you. This issue has become so divisive and vitriol-filled that I am at the point of basically refusing to discuss our personal vaccine decisions with anyone.....the demonization has to stop.
eerref ennael - Well, whatever happened to grey area?! I'm pro vaccine, while being cautious. If a vaccine is well tested and proven, why not. But I never followed the recommended schedule - why would you inject 5 different pathogens into your infants body at one time, five times in two years? I say do it carefully, cautiously and eventually.
elocin arat - The worst part of this debate is that pharmaceutical companies are less scrutinized because any criticism of any vaccine is brushed off as anti-science. I'm pro-vaccines, but this topic needs a much bigger set of voices in the middle ground.
kooc haras - thank you. i am shocked and hurt by how I have been literally attacked by friends...many of whom do not have children of thier own...over this recent campain against parents who don't vaccinate. I see parents making decisions everyday that I dont feel would be a good fit for my parenting style but I am strongly against mom-shamming. Discrimination and hatred about a very well educted choice I have made for my children seems to suddenly not only be fine with the majority of the population its becoming the norm. Fear can make people do a lot of "out-of-bounds" things but lets all remember to respect our fellow mom/dad friends and remember they are doing thier best.
sihtam allimaj - I just feel like this article perpetuates stupidity. This isn't a debate, it's a public health issue and goodness is it irresponsible not to vaccinate.
aicsit eilsel - Thank you for this! I'm so tired of all the hateful judging from both sides!
renrut refinnej - Agreed. I am pro-vaccine, but worked with our doctor to make our own schedule that I was comfortable with...never more than 2 shots at a time. My daughter also had a serious reaction to MMR and the dr tested titers for her instead of taking the booster (she is fully immune from one vaccine). Funny, but the same parents pushing such judgment often don't get flu vaccines, and flu is much more widespread and deadly than measles. My kids are fully vaccinated and we also opt into vaccines that aren't even part of the schedule. But, we choose what's right for us and don't judge those who have made a different decision. There are MANY reasons for people's personal decisions.
tuolc arual - Hear hear! I can't stand the vitriol I encounter everywhere while trying to research and make a decision.
tuoh red nav-tdrahnreb anna - I would be FAR more inclined to vaccinate if the shots were not grouped. Give me that option and I will revisit my current position. We even considers flying to France for the tetanus alone shot since it is the only place I can find it not grouped. A lot of us are not anti vax, just anti grouped.
eluom neb - Luckily for everyone this form of compassion wasn't evident in the campaign to vaccinate against smallpox and polio. The diseases that we ate vaccinated against are very serious, with consequences that are far reaching and damaging. I'm not sure compassion is really the word.
hciwmorb okmeraj acceber - I completely disagree with the approach taken in this editorial. It is irresponsible of Mothering Magazine. What is wrong with it is epitomized by this quote:"It’s time that we have compassion for one another, seeking to understand choices different from our own rather than simply dismissing them as foolish or selfish." This is a fundamental misapprehension of the nature of the debate around vaccination. It is not a matter properly of preference, choice or individual freedom. It is a matter of fact and science and imperically proven danger. This "agree to disagree" rhetoric is appropriate when we are talking about aesthetic choices like whether we like sugar in our coffee. It is not appropriate when we are talking about whether to drive drunk, commit hate crimes, or revive diseases that kill millions of children by refusing to vaccinate.
kenebmeb eitak - This article is spot on. We are all out there trying to do what is best for our precious little ones! My greatest concern lies in the fact that vaccine companies are not held liable for any injuries. It is possible to see the value in vaccines without being pro-vaccine.
knarf m esined - Thank you for compassionately representing both sides with such compassion, understanding, and knowledge. Two of my children are fully vaccinated, and two or not due to a vaccine injury that left us scared to death. I am on the side of right to choose aka informed consent.
yeneek arik - Of course, the upside of this debate is that we've all added the word "vitriol" to our vocabularies!
sok ldnaj - Great article. its become a issue I won't discuss.
rellok eikcaj - As someone who knew firsthand a perfectly healthy child who died from measles 60 years ago, and saw the pain and devastation her family went through, I can tell you that there is a reason that the measles vaccine was developed. It was to protect children and save lives. I just can't understand why anyone would choose not to protect their children from this disease, but more than that, how they can be comfortable putting other, more vulnerable children at risk due to their choices.
redaf einoj - I too join the camp of being compassionate to those who may have a different belief than us whether it's the vaccination issue, pro-life vs pro-choice or end of life issues. I think the important piece in all this is allowing parents the choice to use current vaccination recommendations or not or to use other methods of protecting their children's immune system which in turn protects the health of people they are in contact with. Empower people to make well educated decisions rather than insulting their intelligence by forcing one particular idea on them.
repsac irej - I just had a titer done, a test for disease immunity. Simple and quick blood draw. I'm immune to mumps and rubella but not measles (lame). So I will be getting a vaccination next week. I personally have had zero reactions to vaccines in my life. I will be fine. I'm doing my part to keep my community safe. And myself, because I'll be damned if y'all give me the damn measles like its 1953 up in here.
spillihp einahpets - More people should do research before they talk. My children are not vaccinated due to a family history of severe reactions. I'm tired of people just calling me stupid and that my kids should be taken from me for not vaccinating them. People say there are no dangerous side effects even though the government has a fund set up for those that are harmed or die from these vaccinations. For some there is a much higher risk of a severe reaction to vaccines leaving them with permanent problems or even taking their life than there is even contracting measles. As much as it scares some parents to not get their children vaccinated, it scares me to get mine vaccinated. Like the article says, there are valid fears on both sides.
tdrahnreb nosretep naoj - The point here is that immunization is more like a charcoal and beige issue than a black and white issue. There is far more evidence overall to support immunization, however, there is still risk, and we retain the right to balance the relative risk with the severity of the illness the vaccine prevents. I have 5 vaccinated children, but I wouldn't give an immunization to a newborn. We don't do flu shots. And I refused multiple immunizations at one time, using a modified schedule. I'm not anti vaccine, but rather pro research and truly informed consent.
- Thank you to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for this guest post. "The debate over Thimerosal has precipi (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-24T01:25:59+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Thank you to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for this guest post. "The debate over Thimerosal has precipitated a journalistic, as well as a public health crisis. For many years, I’ve been puzzled by the bland and apparently baseless insistence by members...Comments:
enizagam gnirehtom - Editor’s Note: Open discussion is welcome on Mothering, intolerance is not. Please respond thoughtfully and respectfully or your comment may be removed.
iccir anig - Is it me or are the pro-vaxers generally the ones doing the attacking? It's seriously giving those of us who support vaccination a bad name. I'm so tired of reading the nasty, disrespectful comments on this subject. Agree to disagree if you must but can't everyone just respect each other's differences? Attacking strangers from behind the veil of your computer, doesn't make anyone right, it makes them cowards. That and no one will be swayed by negativity and hurtful comments. Do what you believe is best for your family and leave it at that. It's really not that hard. Ok, end rant.
losreip rebma - Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should have the right to choose for themselves. Arguing it is like beating a dead horse. There is no right or wrong choice other than the right to choose.
nnaps htebazile nasus - Thimerosal hasn't been used in pediatric vaccines save for some flu vaccines in over a decade. And vaccines are not a causation for autism. Autism is a developmental condition that actually traces back to genetics and begins in the womb. Many parents do not observe their child being behind developmentally until they place them in daycare for the first time, often around 6 months-1 year of age. I have autism and just had this discussion with my autism psychologist. She specializes solely in ADHD and ASD. We did concur that, just as with ADHD, there may be environmental exacerbations for those genetically predisposed, that it is still genetic. We also concur that autism is not the worst thing that can happen even if vaccines did have a correlation. However, many questions have to be answered before any correlations can be made: 1. How did autism exist before vaccines? 2. How does it exist in countries that still do not have vaccines? 3. How have autism rates gone up when vaccine rates have gone down? 4. How are there twins on both sides of the spectrum of vaccinated and unvaccinated that only have one twin with autism? These pose serious concerns about correlations being made. Furthermore, autism is treatable, but if a child who is not fully vaccinated or an adult who may not have immunity any more or worse, a vaccinated immune deficient person who did not build antibodies at all gets the measles, is there treatment for the hearing loss, blindness, or death it can cause? At this point, I am just simply trying to understand as best I can, but in terms of experience, I support vaccines regardless of anything due to reasons I have laid out.
nesmelliw yeltneb - We don't know what causes autism so to say it can or cannot be caused my vaccinations is false.
nallimcam anirej - Thimerosal isn't used in Canada for pediatric vaccines... That aside, this article in no way proves vaccines cause autism.
tterb assilem - Congratulations. Children are dying of measles, or suffering brain damage as a result of the encephalitis it causes, and you're printing this garbage. Thimerosal isn't bioavailable, and isn't absorbed. This has been proven by SCIENCE. You and your fear mongering have no place in a civilized society where smart parents choose to immunize their children.
yodog-innav airelav - Did you all missed the fact that the article is reporting that CDC researchers/doctors are lying?!!! ON RECORD! ON MEDICAL JOURNALS?! Forget the fact that the flu shot is completely unnecessary and that vaccine stills protects us. The CDC is pressuring these researchers TO LIE. All for money! And you are all worrying about vaccines?! We have bigger issues here.
mosnar ffej - Thank you, Mothering Magazine Here is what so many should know, my little boy went from talking, happy all the time, sleeping through the night and had a unbelievable giggle, after a round of vaccines it all when away, he stop talking his last to words was bye bye baby & at that point my baby went bye bye, to sleeping 2 to 3 hours a day, inconsolable crying more then he was not crying, started throwing his head back & arching his back making it very hard to hold him, years later I would find out it was a symptom of encephalopathy (brain swelling) which is one of the side effects of vaccines. I grew up being very strongly pro-vaccine. So I got my son vaccinated on time, not a day late. At 15 months my son got 8 vaccines, I remember asking the nurse "are you sure this little feller is supposed to get all those vaccines" she did not say a word she just shook her head yes. Yes 8 vaccines in 1 day all in the same leg 3 with aluminum & 5 with mercury/thimerosal, (this was back before they started taking it out) which any toxicologist will tell you mercury is much more toxic when it is mixed with aluminum. And every package insert I have read (which is all of them or at least all that I can find) says use a different injection site for each vaccine given. But after my son was injured I changed my mind about vaccines. I/my son has paid the price I am not about to make (key word make) or ask, anyone else to pay the price.
drafarc hael - The article wasn't trying to say that vaccines cause autism. It was all about corruption and unethical relationships and actions within the agency and corporations which control vaccination.
Definitely enough information to make one question motivations. I guarantee if the IG showed up and did any investigation, something was not right.
nnyl assenav - My son had all thermisol free vaccines and he is a beautiful bright smart funny autistic boy.
It wasn't the vaccines that caused his autism.
rellim ynoteb - Kristen Preissinger fantastic resource . For those who didn't bother to read it, these are studies from medical journals, not written by green med info
kizlawok anail - Go straight to the CDC website. Brain damage is listed as a possible outcome for most if not all vaccines. So is death.
steehs assenav - The FDA safety limit for injected aluminum for a healthy infant is 5mcg/kg/day. Here is the list of aluminum in each vaccine:
Hib (PedVaxHib brand only) – 225 micrograms per shot.
Hepatitis B – 250 micrograms.
DTaP – depending on the manufacturer, ranges from 170 to 625 micrograms.
Pneumococcus – 125 micrograms.
Hepatitis A – 250 micrograms.
HPV – 225 micrograms.
Pentacel (DTaP, HIB and Polio combo vaccine) – 330 micrograms.
Pediarix (DTaP, Hep B and Polio combo vaccine) – 850 micrograms.
lednam kradnohs ynahteb - Is Robert Kennedy a scientist?
nosgnille eirrac - My children. My decision. I won't trust the government to tell me how to keep my children healthy and safe. Look at this country filled with sick individuals. This government has failed us yet again.
nomolos nad - I mean, no offense, but even snopes says this isn't accurate:
trevlac ellehcim - Forget about autism. I'm quite certain that more children and adults have died from adverse vaccine reactions then the measles in the past decade. How many others injured? Vaccines come with risks, therefore we should have the right to choose.
ossur ylreveb - Vaccine makers are protected by law from lawsuits, the gov buys up most of their vaccines and pimps the out thru the cdc, who then reports on said vaccines. I believe nothing that comes out of those three entities mouth, nor those they employ. They have vaccines to sell and lawsuits to avoid. Vital information has been suppressed since inception by those with the most money. Its solid brainwashing if you do not ever question your lifelong beliefs, and some personalities just cannot be wrong.
scinokla ocym - 1) The "anti-vax" movement is not an overnight thing; but a gradual growing response to an observable increase in "mysterious deaths" on all fronts of vaccination MAINLY in the name of women's and children's health.
2) The way medical media address the myriad number of questions of the post-vax "mysterious deaths" and "disorder eruptions" is not helping the situation -- doctored stats, claims on effectiveness, exposure of links of monetary flow between government and Pharma, etc.
3) The effectiveness of vaccination is now under heavy public scrutiny. The alarming "variances" affecting standard mean of post-vax success is unprecedented and questions arise on the research and assumptions behind virology and immunology.
4) The impunity of Big Pharma in pushing chemotherapy as the standard practice despite its much maligned observable failure rate is helping to aggravate the strong suspicions leveled at Big Pharma motives in pushing tens of new vaccines.
5) The number of whistleblowers in the vax arena is adding new levels of behind-the-scenes expose info never before heard or seen. Such information exposed the way vaccines are developed by using live individuals as "guinea pigs". This sort of unethical practices cannot but provide ammunition for anti-vax to call for INDEPENDENT scrutiny on the present crop of "modern vaccine research practices".
6) The involvement of Bill Gates in vaccination programs in Africa is fueling a suspicion of unscrupulous money-sucking billionaire elitists diversification into monopolies, such as forced vaccinations, vaccine experimentation, and human-health-index-standardization.
7) The recent Ebola outbreak incident has already fired up scrutiny on another "scam" as it has been discovered that human-engineered Ebola viruses were patented, forced injections of Ebola viruses (disguised as vaccines) among Afrikans, and the use of the medical media to drive panic that a "super bug" is causing an epidemic scourge.
8) The strong heavy-handedness of governance to cow the people into submitting to vax CANNOT but give an impression of the same pattern of treatment to "anti-establishment" activism -- a desperate attempt to cover up some unspeakable shit.
9) As far as I know, no independent assessment of the content of vaccines has been allowed. Independent analysis from companies like SGS should be done.
The "guarantee of strictest standards of quality, hygiene in the manufacture of vaccines" CANNOT and SHOULD NOT simply be accepted as "sacred and unquestionable".
I have listed 9 out of the 20 main reasons, to my opinion, why the people behind vaccinations are questionable -- they DO NOT sit down to openly and objectively set up a world forum to discuss both sides of the divide.
This sort of behavior to shut people up is reminiscent of DESPERADO governments to shackle up the sheeple. It is so clear and certain. How can there be another reason for the strong cover up and "shut-the-f&$k-up" impunity???
rehcama ert - Science once stated the earth was flat too. Surprise!
- Don’t get me wrong – I wholeheartedly support women everywhere to have siblings at their bi (Type: link | Published: 2015-01-30T23:39:02+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Don’t get me wrong – I wholeheartedly support women everywhere to have siblings at their births, but increasingly I feel like the odd one out. You see, I deliberately never planned to have siblings at the births of my subsequent children.Comments:
remarts eitak - I disagree. Having my children there moments after siblings are born has been incredible. They heard me in my strongest moments, and in my weakest.
nietsrellaw eillek - Though we are also a waldorf attachment parenting family we did not have the children there right at birth. Many of my friends who have multiples 6,7, 10 children do have all their children there. I dont' think it matters. I haven't heard anyone up in arms about this topic. To each their own. I felt like the author was defending her choice. The nice thing about being a fully actualized woman and mother is you dont' have to explain your choices to anyone.
ssensetfol nyrak - To each their own. My children have been present for their siblings births and have not lost their innocence or been traumatized in any way.
lekkin rehtaeh - I remember a midwife I had for baby #1 saying that the amish/old order Mennonites she used to work with always had their daughters present at the home birth, and that the women weren't afraid to give birth, as they'd seen their own mothers do it.
For me, I've had my daughters always present for a birth, and for my son, only under the age of 7 was he present. This last birth, he went to grandma's, but my 4 & 10 yr old daughters got to watch. They did great, with the oldest being happy to help catch her sister. I figured with all the negative or scary birth stories that they'll hear about, or when older possibly see in a movie, that having the imprint of a normal birth will help them when they go to have children.
namdeirf refinej - I fully agree. For me, although birth is natural, it's private! I didn't feel it any less valuable that my kids met their latest sibling a few hours later.
As a midwife, I also know that birth can also have unexpected outcomes that I'm not sure kids need to witness.
Obviously, to each her own and whatever you are comfortable with, works.
Thanks for sharing!
iksworob adnama - I don't think there is any right or wrong way- you do what is right for you and your family! When my oldest was 2, she watched me give birth to her baby sister, a VBAC at home. 9 months ago, both my girls were present while I labored with my son. In the end, they were not with me while I gave birth (they were busy playing downstairs while I somewhat unexpectedly gave birth in bed!). But they were such wonderful labor support for me and it was just natural for us all to be together.
Is this the right situations and plan for everyone? Absolutely not! But for some, yes. Just as every woman has a right to a birth her way, she also has the right to have her kids there.
ermah ennaid - Hmm...I just posted this today: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10204090878166347&set=a.1417585633777.133383.1056713915&type=1&theater¬if_t=like
relgof eemia - I am so glad my 2 year old saw her sister born. She is now 5 and still talks about how special it was.
htebasile ahsas - I don't find anything wrong with siblings at births. I think it could be a beautiful experience. When my daughter was born two years ago, I chose not to have my three boys present because they are so full of energy it is hard for me to concentrate. Nothing wrong with either choice. Mamas need to feel empowered to do what feels best and not feel pressure over who should or should not be there
eiram htebazile - I agree and disagree. Our eleven year old son ASKED to be present when his baby brother was being born. After a great deal of discussion and debate, we followed his lead on this and said yes. We had a friend there also who was able to be his "safe person" if he needed a moment and our midwife was AMAZING with him. He even cut the cord! Our son has many times that being there was probably the most "awesome" part of his life so far. We did not have our middle son in the room, as he was six....and a little squeamish about what may have happened.
reiem rehtaeh - My 4 year old watched her sister be born last month. She loved it and so did we. It was a very special moment for her.
salohcin llij - My oldest son was at all my births and when his wife was in labor be was amazing.
retsof latsyrc - I watched my brother and sister be born! It was amazing! Im much older than them. Because of this it i think it helped us instantly bond. We have always been close. When i gave birth. My sister was there for my home birth of my son. It is all so very special. Birth should sacred, celebrated and bring us closer.
esornep asereht - Birth is natural, if my daughter wants to be there, I don't see the problem.
notsgnivil assenav - My daughter was an early morning homebirth, and my son woke up just in time to watch her be born(see also my husband had just enough time to make a a cup of coffee before cutting the cord), it was amazing.. he never for a second had any confusion about her being his sister.. He was jaw dropped and smiling.. I had originally planned for him to go with someone, but after seeing his face as she was born, it wouldn't have changed it for anything..
notpmoc elleinad - This article is incredibly closed-minded. Of course a 13yo boy should see birth! It will prepare him for when his wife births. Birth is natural, it is pretty gross to sexualize it so much.
ekeniel ihtak - Love Family Birth <3
hponk alegna - My two and four year old sat on the bed as our last was born, I'm thankful that my children will know birth isn't a scary medical event. And now I will never have to explain where babies come from!
reffiep elocin - I totally respect this mother's need in her birthing time.
I also am a child who was profoundly affected by being present when my siblings were born. My children will most certainly be afforded the opportunity to be present as well because of that.
trom l ardnas - Women need to have the right to choose who is present for their births in the same way that they need to have the right to choose the location. For me, having my children present meant one thing less to worry about. I knew where they were and knew my husband was available if they needed him. By the time I had #4, #1 asked to catch her sister and I was proud to have her by the midwife's side to do exactly that.
droffig ymmat - I disagree.
My older children loved being a part of the birth of their baby brother.
If I could turn back time all my babies would have been born at home and welcomed into this world surrounded by the people that loved them
- A response to the ongoing measles conversation from Peggy O'Mara. This can be an emotionally ch (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-02T19:56:41+0000)
Mothering Magazine: A response to the ongoing measles conversation from Peggy O'Mara. This can be an emotionally charged issue so I ask that everyone please keep their comments respectful. Open conversation is encouraged, but hateful responses will be removed from this page.Comments:
nagol anit - "Vaccines" don't cause autism. Vaccines cause Demyelination of the myelin sheath in our brains, THAT causes autism. The MMR vaccine for example, has never, not once been tested as a vaccine. The individual vaccines have been safety tested but the cocktail has not. And that is what causes the problems. The flu shot for another example is nothing more than a glorified pharmaceutical money pit. The government gets kick backs for every single vial sold. The "science" behind it is nothing more than a guess. Scientists literally guess which strain to focus on and hope for the best they also do not safety test the flu shot. They have no time. I'm not interested in something that someone guessed might work. It is completely false when you're told that the vaccine will lessen the effects. That's a myth and a lie so you'll pull up your sleeve and they can cash in. And when someone asked or stated they don't understand why if vaccines are "bad" doesn't everyone get sick. Let me ask you this, why doesn't everyone get cancer? Copd? Chf?? Asthma? Chrons? Etc etc. Because, its more than what u inject, its your environment, your lifestyle etc. I find it actually comical because its only ever two provaccine supporters that get hostile and angry. Perhaps some projecting of guilt? I don't know, bit I do know as a mother, a wife and a practicing nurse, my right to refuse and my right to informed consent has never been more exercised. Remember, doctors also told pregnant mothers that thalidamide was safe while pregnant. Now, how did that turn out?
remaer etak - Unfollowing as well. I can not believe people are still arguing the autism link. It's not the media that debunked it, science did.
aliva ydnarb - I have a vaccine injured child. The decision is not always black & white.
eloc anna - I can not respect people that put newborns and immunocompromised children at large risk rather than accepting a very, very small risk (and large benefit) for their own. I do not blame unvaccinated children. I do blame their parents and hope they are soon held liable in court.
esirap nezarw aras - Lumping everyone who doesn't vaccinate together is nonsense. Don't assume you know the reasons someone doesn't vaccinate. Should I continue to vaccinate my vaccine injured child? Should I be sued if I don't? Let's respond with some grace everyone. If you can't, just do as your mother suggested and when you have nothing nice to say, don't speak.
llebpmac syek arual - The right to refuse should not trump the rights of the rest of us who are trying to protect the health and lives of babies who are too young to be fully vaccinated. I should be able to count on herd immunity to prevent my 10 week old from getting whooping cough, measles and the rest.
notlrahc ynnej - I was an 'unvaccinated child' (in the UK in the 80's) I had measles, mumps and rubella during my childhood. I was lucky and did not suffer complications. As an adult I have received the MMR vaccine due to working in a clinical environment. My immunity was tested & I did not have immunity for mumps. I was vaccinated & tested again, still no immunity. Vaccines do not always work. It is possible to make an educated decision not to vaccinate or to vaccinate. I have chosen to vaccinate my children but do not judge parents who make different decisions.
ytrehguod enirehtac - Wooohooo!!! It's cleaning day on the Mothering page!! Adios to all the intolerant parents who are leaving and unfollowing. Here's hoping you find an open mind and compassion for those who share different opinions than yours at some point in your journey!!
pmakenner anitsirk - Yep. Exactly what Limor said above me. It is ridiculous and incredibly dangerous to act as though this is some kind of debate where both sides have equally relevant points.
nibroc reitla asil - This is such a touchy subject. I am a nurse and well educated. My firstborn daughter was fully vaccinated to age 11 when I refused the HPV vaccine. My twins have been vaccinated on a delayed schedule and are not up to date by CDC schedule. As parents, we make hard decisions. In America, we have that freedom and that right. Science is not advanced enough, nor funding available to test everyone for possible reactions to every vaccine...it is impossible to predict serious reactions, there are often too many variables. Genetics, diet, general health, the list goes on and on. I have trouble understanding people who choose safety over freedom. I also have trouble understanding why parents think it is ok to blame children not vaccinated for spreading the disease. If you ask your doctor for the insert, (it says on the insert for several vaccines including chicken pox and measles), that a recently vaccinated child should not be allowed around immunocompromised people. Why do you think that is? Yep, because vaccinated children can spread the disease to others. Will you same parents keep your own vaccinated kids out of schools and public places for the recommended amount of time? Why are your child and your choices more important than mine and my choices? There will always be disagreement regarding vaccines, but to say it is ok to take away my freedom as a parent because your choice is different than mine....that is NOT ok.
llerttoc rehtaeh - Thank you for this passage, which perfectly states my feelings on this: "Many parents today are more concerned about the risks of chronic disease than the risks of rare acute diseases." I don't understand why so many people think the goal is to try and eradicate all disease, via vaccination. It's not possible. There will always be another. I think it's better to focus on making ourselves healthier and boosting the powerful immune systems we each have.
pmurk nnyl eelhsa - Debunked by the media?? Autism and vaccines has been debunked by SCIENCE, not the media. Yeah, I can no longer follow this page. This is dangerous information to be spreading and the leaps being made are simply ignorant. You know what? Autism has increased at about the same rate as organic food purchases. Uh oh... Organic food causes autism!
As mentioned, correlation is not causation. This article is full of holes.
seven eilatan - Its no wonder I love the author of mothering magazine. Thanks Kristy! I've had a lot of fb "friends" attack the anti vaxxers, i'm so sick of it too.
I will never understand pro-vaxxers "logic". The numbers don't lie and the truth is they are clueless to everything that's in a vaccine. A lot of doctors and nurses are becoming anti-vaxxers too. Why is it so difficult to research something you are unsure about?
Here's measles numbers for you: In 1963 the measles vaccine was licensed and in 1967 it began to be used. Prior to that there were 3-4 million cases of measles a year in the US. Out of those cases about 450 died yearly. When you take into consideration that the population in 1963 was 189,241,798... the death rate for the entire US population from measles was 0.000237%.
Today, according to WHO, there are 145,700 deaths GLOBALLY from measles. The current population is roughly 7 billion people, that means the global death rate from measles is 0.00208%.
0.000237% < 0.00208%
So, comparing the two figures, as a country, we Americans did better in 1963 at not dying from measles than the general population of the world is doing RIGHT NOW. But...the vaccine still gets credit for "eradicating" a disease whose, as I previously mentioned, morbidity rate was already down by nearly 100%.
Yet, people are in an absolute uproar because "anti-vaxxers" are causing these "massive" outbreaks of such "deadly" diseases. I'd take a fever, rash, runny nose, cough, life-long immunity, protection from more serious diseases as an adult and antibodies to pass along to my baby during it's first year of life any day over the MMR vaccine. I'm not interested in a concoction of chick embryo cell culture, WI-38 human diploid lung fibroblasts (lung tissue of an aborted female baby), MRC-5 cells (lung tissue of an aborted male baby) and bovine serum that will only provide temporary (if any) immunity.
Oh but wait...
"The vaccine has been proven "safe" and "effective"." Wrong.
Let me know when someone does a double-blind (saline/inert) placebo controlled study on this vaccine.
"But measles can cause blindness, encephalitis and pneumonia." Yeah, and so can the vaccine, in fact, it can even cause measles itself! -
"My child could die from measles." - According to US statistics, they're more likely to die from the MMR vaccine.
2003 were the last 2 deaths in the U.S.:
"In 2003, two measles-related deaths were reported. The first was attributed to measles encephalitis in a child aged 13 years who had chronic granulomatous disease, received a bone marrow transplant in October 2002, and died in January 2003. Measles was confirmed by a positive serologic test for measles IgM and isolation of measles virus from a brain biopsy. Despite an intensive search, no additional cases were detected in the surrounding area.
The second measles-related death was in an international traveler aged 75 years infected in Israel who had measles pneumonitis and encephalopathy. Measles was confirmed by reverse transciptase-polymerase chain reaction from nasopharyngeal swab and urine."
Vaccines for measles, mumps and rubella in children. - PubMed - NCBI
Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2005 Oct 19;(4):CD004407. Meta-Analysis; Review
NCBI.NLM.NIH.GOV|BY DEMICHELI V , ET AL.
nospmoht nahgallac nonnahs - Thank you Peggy for reaffirming all I studied 18 years ago to make an EDUCATED decision to NOT vaccinate after my 2 month old had a vaccine reaction. At 20, 18, and 15, my sons are rarely ever sick with even a cold.
snalien yram - For those who comment that this article is "outstandingly written" or "100% truth" or similar, I think you need to look more closely.
I investigated the sources of several of the references and found that quotes and statistics are, as expected, out of context and extremely misleading. For example,
William Thompson, referenced in the article as a whistleblower who had concerns about a report on immunization, definitively stated:
"I want to be absolutely clear that I believe vaccines have saved and continue to save countless lives. I would never suggest that any parent avoid vaccinating children of any race. Vaccines prevent serious diseases, and the risks associated with their administration are vastly outweighed by their individual and societal benefits."
That key point, and his desire for his wish to be clear about the importance and need for immunization, was ignored and hidden. Not "100% truth."
Although somewhat irrelevant from a legitimacy or scientific standpoint, suggesting that more educated people question immunization and less educated people blindly follow immunization standards is untrue.
The rest of the article is basically an assortment of anecdotal comments or misleading or out-of-context information that barely form an article, let alone a cohesive argument.
Bottom line: Vaccines exist that have rare and minimal negative effects compared to the vastly important and positive impact on overall health that they make available. http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/meas.html#complications
It is irresponsible science, irresponsible journalism, and some would argue irresponsible parenting, to ignore the big picture and the facts that are readily available and instead focus on isolated or anecdotal information and claim you are providing a "reality check."
ttimhcs nesnetsirhc yasdnil - Funny how many people are unfollowing this page because they feel people should just do as they do...as if individual choice means nothing. Looking forward to less ignorant trolling posts in the future as a result! Sorry, my child was VAX injured, and had "science" no been so greedy she could have been genetically tested beforehand and we've have known her likelihood of reaction would have been much higher. I'll take a week of illness over lifelong disabilities and autoimmune any day.
reuabgul hcirlu harobed - I have been following this debate for 25 years and I'm all for choice. I am against the idea that those that do vaccinate are not informed. Or that parents of children who can't receive vaccines for medical reasons are not informed. Or that those parents whose children can't receive vaccines don't have the right to be scared. Only way to live in the world is to try and understand all sides. Try to see all sides, there are smart people everywhere.
skcirdneh ztivokreb romil - And with that, I'm now going to unfollow you page. This anti-science non-sense kills people. Kills children.
kanaj htebazile - So glad to see Mothering spreading truth instead of fear! Kudos to you!
aksfensel ztnarf bed - Mothering is a natural parenting magazine that has debated the vaccine issue several times in its pages since I've been a subscriber. I, for one, appreciate a voice of dissent and continue to support the magazine's right to voice it! This is still America, the last time I checked! I would hate to lose the right to choose how and when a parent vaccinates their child!
ztloh aynnos - Thank you Peggy O'Mara for a respectful, fact based article. We all love and strive for what we see as best for our children, and the world.
- According to the American Civil Liberties Union, a breastfeeding mother who brought a case agai (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-04T23:14:46+0000)
Mothering Magazine: According to the American Civil Liberties Union, a breastfeeding mother who brought a case against her employer after being coerced into resigning has been told by the Supreme Court that she did not face discrimination because men can also, at times, lactate. Angela Ames was apparently told to “go h…Comments:
strebor-namroc asil - Sorry, but whoever wrote this article should be fired. The supreme court did not hear the case. The case was decided by the trial court. The analogy was made by the attorney for the ACLU that the decision is similar to the supremes old stance that discriminating against someone because they're pregnant isn't gender discrimination (which, if I am not mistaken has been overturn by a more recent scotus decision). This is intended to get people riled up based on a headline, some will click and some won't. Please report accurately, or you will lose all credibility.
sggir regurk ydnam - This reads like a headline from The Onion.
gnuoy acissej - What the actual F?
etihw rehtaeh - Someone should hook Alito and Roberts and Scalia up to a pump and make them lactate. Fuuuuuuck this decision, for real.
seyah asil - Men lactate too? This is news to me, I would have had my husband help nurse the babies !
muabletit eener - I think one of those Justices needs to induce lactation and come feed my kid so I can have a break.
sa nahgem - I hope she is appealing this and filing a human rights complaint
sdrahcir gem - male lactation is as rare as being struck by a meteorite. WTF are they playing at?
nibur refinnej - Kind of misleading. That wasn't exactly why she was let go nor was it why the Supreme Court decided against her. She didn't follow protocol.
hsam anad - How many men are asking for personal time to lactate while at work? Are they nursing their babies when they are with them? I know it would take a lot of stress off of mom if dad could also pump while he's working too so they could keep a great back up supply. This isn't reality so what is wrong with these courts?
noslen drawde nivek - This is the dumbest thing I have read on the Internet in a long time. I think it is time for us all to grow up and stop blowing a breastfeeding woman out of proportion. It is not a bad thing. It is not a sexual thing. It is a mother nourishing her child. Stop making it something it is not. The company that let her go should be ashamed. The Supreme Court should be aswell.
namhuh arac - Nationwide should be ashamed and this manager should be reprimanded or fired for bullying/discrimination!!
ttenneb niwals eimaj - No, just no. That was a big grab at trying to find some bs reason to not give breastfeeding moms more rights. That judges logic is so twisted.
yeneek arik - Nationwide is, in fact, NOT on your side.
drofwarc yeniar enilegna - I won't be using Nationwide for any of my insurance needs!
yrewol neleh - Let us be responsible in our reporting. The Supreme Court said nothing. They did not hear the case. That happens to numerous cases every year for a variety of reasons. The court simply cannot hear every case, nor do they have the authority to do so even if they had time in their docket. Now if we want to discuss what happens and how we can better support breastfeeding mothers...
onerom arual - I wish my husband could lactate!
eiram inoj - http://www.snopes.com/info/news/menlactate.asp
I feel like this better explains that it wasn't actually the Supreme Court, but was in fact denied by two courts and I really can't understand how.
yenwod rebma - Yea, they lactate at the wrong end......
mutat annala - I think she should have got a lawyer BEFORE resigning. By law they have to provide her a place to pump. They don't have to pay her but they have to provide it.
uicnehg-kalwag eener - This makes me sick!!!! I'd like to meet all these lactating and nursing a child men. This is very indicative of the reverse motion our rights are going in. Now the question is, are we ready to fight?
- 1. Having some “me” time seems like a luxury bordering on gross extravagance.
2. You think (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-07T01:23:06+0000)
Mothering Magazine: 1. Having some “me” time seems like a luxury bordering on gross extravagance. 2. You think it’s totally normal to say things like...Comments:
tdimhcs oalokin aidyl - Lol so embarrassing when you're standing next to another mom rocking her baby and you start rocking with her...empty handed. Can't make it stop!
nerraw ttih ytteb - Don't worry that alone time will come before you know it and you will want some of the old days.
nospmis eener - #30 is my favorite.
yarg eniale ycats - For lunch today I had part of a grilled cheese I found in the high chair :)
erbelec yoj - Baby cutely dressed and me in old nursing top yup
kceb nagem - I'd list off the ones that ring the most true for me but it's nearly the whole list! Hits the nail on the head!
zerimar rehtaeh - #26 is the biggie for me lol
etihw-tannom harobed - HILARIOUS. I especially like 4, 11, 16 and 27 ...
eornum nelle oj - These are great.
kralc atiragram - *sigh* oh the joys of motherhood lol.
netsak llewsob anitsirhc - Those were the days!!
naairda ne sma - Lol @ #23... always...so tried to check the mirror first before leaving home is my first to do...and yes, not only cars and dora stickers but also the bright colored hello kitty hair clips on my hair😳
zurc atnas ydnew - Yup #30 and we are pregnant again! Lol
lednam eicart - wouldn't change it for the world!!
nesejret nitram nna irol - So, what is a "snapping" and a "pre-fold?"
ssiew-lkcah asila - I thought I was the only one that did number four!! Love these.
llerraf nelle - Those were the days! Now I look forward to seeing them (from college) and maybe a grandkids someday down the road!
le er - Haha. I have on a 3.5 yr old maternity tank top right now. Lol. They have the greatest wardrobe. Me? I choose to get them things instead of me :(
nosbod ahsot yma - Oh Rebecca Harmon that is so funny... I am not even going to say how many of those I relate too!
divad ittap - All of the above!!! 😊
llewle eirrek - Ha, yes to almost all of these
- Check out these beautiful historical breastfeeding images. Which one is your favorite? (Type: link | Published: 2015-02-13T03:27:01+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Check out these beautiful historical breastfeeding images. Which one is your favorite?Comments:
yarg retsof anwahsos - These are beautiful. I remember as a child, sitting at the knee of an old Indian chief as he told stories from his past. He told how his mother and all the women would nurse all the babies of their tribe equally; if the actual mother was busy she knew someone would feed her baby for her. He said that it made the children have even stronger bonds because even if another wasn't your blood kin, you considered them your 'milk brother' because you knew that you probably were nursed by the same group of women. As a child that made so much sense to me and I've enjoyed breastfeeding for 8 years now (4 kids) and donating milk to several babies in need. ❤️
zerimar aletse ycnan - I love these photographs. Let's share... And normalize breastfeeding.
elgaeb idnarb - Makes me miss nursing by children. :")
yenalud eiram atsirc - Baby and the bear. Making two babies grow up healthy
damon arret - I breastfed my child for 4 years and I'd do it over and over again!
gnortsmra ellehcim - No matter the years, moms are the same.
llirrub refinnej - Sad that those pictures in today's world would result in children's services taking the children away from the parents and having the mother arrested for indecent exposure. Sad.
yssenneh asir - The migrant agricultural woman from the 1936 picture was also in another very famous photo from the depression fleeing the dust bowl.
oicnaic-inittum annod - I miss this so much! I wish I could have done it longer with my daughter and again with another child.
rones anom - they are all beautiful.
htims eibbor - That's what tits are for...since when did it become faux par ?!
idaba alil - I have about 80 ounces of frozen breastmilk and I don't know where to donate them. (I'm in New York)
irtiam eninaj - Wow! Such contentment revealed in these photos. Love #2!
krap assenav - Corn stalk Madonna is especially lovely.
agairra refinnej - Before I had my daughter the thought of breast feeding was weird to me and I didn't think I wanted to do it. But since I had her (now 5 months old) I wouldn't have it any other way. And sure i would nurse a baby bear, why not!! Lol
sinomis nosilla - Love these! Thank you
notrevo assilem - I like "nurse the baby"
euhonod anitsirhc - Keeps us out of trouble. Bahahaha
lhaw hannah - Tandem nursing a bear! How cute!
sivad snehpets ja - Those are great! I have copies of many of them already. They are archived in the Library of Congress.
hgnis itpeed - This is so Preetyy , got goosebumps , such an amazing feeling
- His text was jarring, almost disorienting. I stared at the screen for a moment in disbelief, un (Type: link | Published: 2014-12-08T20:00:39+0000)
Mothering Magazine: His text was jarring, almost disorienting. I stared at the screen for a moment in disbelief, unsure of how to respond. Didn’t he know?Comments:
otanutrof yngives icats - The only people stressing over it lately seem to be the ones writing articles and posts against it.
zeugnimod anitsirhc - Instead of Elf on the Shelf we have a Kindness Elf that assigns a new act of kindness to complete that day. For example, donate toys that are no longer played with. My daughter absolutely loves it and it reminds us what the holidays are all about.
yarrum anitsirk - We have the Elf and we don't stress about it. Some times I do cute things with her, sometimes I just put her into a different spot.
seog yrrehs - I refuse to participate in lying to children about Santa, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy. He will know it's all pretend and that the presents come from people... Maybe I will let him create little scenarios for the elf for me instead.
ttelpihs-snewo ssej - it's only stressful if you let it be. relax and have fun!
epoh adnama - If it stresses you out, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be doing it. Simple as that. We don't participate. Even my kids find the elf creepy but they are 14 and 11.
sdrawde namigge elocin - Audrey Regla Cataldo fricken Elf! Just when im almost asleep..... uggggggg.... I need to move the elf😩
sreym rebma - I'm too lazy lol....I do have time to lie to my kids about Santa though...eye roll...
tlefyenahs regrab ylloh - Kids are only little once. The magic of the holidays and seeing their eyes light up is an amazing site. Besides, your not lying. If you remember correctly there used to be a real St. Nick. Its just more elaborated now. When I found out that Santa clause wasn't real, I wasn't angry. My mom told me the real story and I still believe. Its an amazing feeling to just believe and have some hope. I could never imagine not letting my children believe in the magic of anything. And we have 2 elves we move around and interact with. Its not difficult and time consuming. Just another fun holiday thing to do and I would do anything to see the smile on their faces and hear them laugh at the silly things they do!
hsan enileuqcaj asil - I dont find the Elf stressfull at all. Its fun...and the kids get a kick outta it. Totally worth it for the smiles :)
llenkcub eimaj nairb - The elf is making memories at our house that my kids and I will have forever. Plus it makes mornings a little more fun!
eloop ardnasak - Or how about its just too dang creepy?!
ssorcyloh redoy nwad - We don't do Elf on the Shelf, not for any particular reason--just because it seems like "one more thing," in already a busy season. But if it brings you and your family joy to set one up, then do it. Don't stress about the small stuff.
drofnas refinnej - I am a school teacher with 5 kids, 11 and under. I find it stressful for sure. I've realized through posts on fb that most families that do this probably have 1 or 2 kids tops and have time to be that creative. I just don't. I told my oldest two girls if they want to be the elf and move him go for it....it lasted 2 days and then they were over it. Goodbye elf, you are not missed.
anoro yer aerdna - I don't see the elf as a stressful or outdoing situation. I see it as a fun memory for my baby girl. As she waits for her baby brother and has two much older (near graduating) siblings this is something for her! From all of us:) mom, dad, brother and sister have fun thinking of creating be ways for elf to be found in the morning.
namron-ziur .m aoj - Stressing over it? I wait every night (with great joy) for my girls to sleep... so I could find a new spot for Sparkle! I enjoy it! I like to see their faces with joy, and it does not bother me at ALL place her on a new spot every night. Seriously?
neseerd egnelp eirual - Oh my god so much whining.
nna lorac - Someone bought us the elf when my son was a few months old (he is now four and a half). It sat in the box until last week when I unpacked my Christmas stuff again and decided that he needed to find a home where he would not be forced to live in the box. I am a SAHM and I still cannot figure out how people have time to set up this elaborate ruse. I had magical Christmases during my childhood and they never included the elf, so I think my kids will be OK.
dleifriaf retxed asil - My goodness. If it's stressful, don't do it. If you think it's fun, go for it. Most stressful to me is seeing an optional activity being transformed into a debate. There are so many bigger problems in the world.
Next year I'm going to write posts about baking Christmas cookies and how seeing peoples' posts about homemade treats makes me so annoyed. I mean, don't they have better things to do with their time? How dare they make me feel like a less magical mother because I don't bake as many kinds of cookies!
notlwonk nahanom eissac - Wow I find this post so incredibly sad! I think at some point parent magazine was great for moms and gave us some ideas and suggestions and tips that maybe we didn't find other places. But now I question what it is all about.. We have moms fighting on here about which way is better..... the reality of the situation is that whether you do Elf on a shelf or not or whatever your believe in doing for the holidays...there is nothing wrong with it. A's long as your child feels loved at the end of the day that is what is most important. Besides if every single one of us raisd our family the exact same way the world would be a very boring place there would be no differences in opinion and you grow from differences in opinion you may not always take what you hear or see others do, but you'll take some of it and leave the other stuff behind. Parent magazine should be about support and I feel like when I read these comments it's all about separating everyone. There is no wrong way. Whether you do it or not is not important. what is important is at the end of the day your child feels safe, secure and loved. You do what's best for your family. I loved reading some of the positive ideas on this thread....just sad to see the attacking....no wrong way...just your family's way ;)
drabbuh ykceb - My childhood was void of an "Elf on a Shelf"...but you know what made Christmastime "magical" for me? The same stuff I do with my kids: putting up decorations, a tree with twinkly lights and fun ornaments, bake cookies, create ornaments, time spent w/family, Christmas parties, Christmas music/carols, driving around seeing houses decorated for the season and yes, gifts exchanged on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and of course the story about Jesus (but that's something we talk about year-round).
- The study suggests that much touted bedsharing risks are not only overemphasized but that the c (Type: link | Published: 2014-12-04T23:25:54+0000)
Mothering Magazine: The study suggests that much touted bedsharing risks are not only overemphasized but that the current recommendations could have unintended, and even dangerous, consequences for parents.Comments:
nospmoht rehcok locin - There needs to be an initiative to teach safe bedsharing and cosleeping practices, I get so sick of hearing the warnings against even doing it at all.
aniselef newnorb - So weird to even think that mammals should sleep apart from their mothers. Just ridiculous.
dlanodcm zepol anel - unless you are on heavy drugs or an alcoholic, co-sleeping is the safest place for baby. Many mothers have detected their babies stop breathing and because mommas were alert and aware being so close, they were able to help their babies. SIDS most always happens in a crib, not when co- sleeping. All cultures all over the world have slept with their babies, it is completely natural and beneficial...........who invented the crib anyway, lol
doow nasus - co-slept with both my children, now 32 and 19, for a goodly time - they lived; infant fevers were immediately detected by their hot bodies; nursing was a breeze - no screaming in the night (we barely woke up) and they are functional human beings who sleep very well in their own beds.
hcivokjar tlouk assilem - I don't pay much attention to the AAP anyway, I know how to raise my children and keep them alive. I've been cosleeping for over two years and my babies are still thriving.
htaem irol - I feel sad that something so instinctive has been vilified.
yesreik'o .e yram - I was so afraid that I wouldn't hear my daughter because I was a heavy sleeper I brought her to bead with me. She nursed with no problems and eventually nursed with out waking me. She is 35 with 2 sons of her own.
grebdlog rengaw eiznekcm - SIDS is NOT the same as suffocation. Please do not confuse the two. Many babies also die of SIDS alone in cribs.
rezag-rats yma - SIDS used to be called "crib death" for a reason. Guess why the name was changed... (can't sell cribs when there is something called "crib death")
evarbelttil yram - I co-slept with all 5 of my children. No problems
zerimar rehtaeh - I've never had an issue with it. I've slept in the same bed with both my girls from day one. Helps breastfeeding huge and I am very aware of them at all times.
recrem aerdna - Everything is overemphasized with parenting....it's because they have to I guess because there are A LOT of dumb people in the world having babies...
mmirg nna acissej - I always wondered if all moms safely bed shared with their babies, would the rate of SIDS drop, and drop the total number of sleep related deaths. This would make bed sharing preferable. I would also like to know the true number of suffocation related deaths in SAFE bed sharing. Deaths related to unsafe practices likely gives the practice a bad name. Could co sleeping protect against SIDS due to a mothers heightened awareness and other benefits such as temp regulation, breathing regulation, and just the fact that there is more supervision? It seems to make sense to me. Personally, I bed shared with all my children, including my twins. Honestly, I never had a major issue with lack of sleep, except maybe in the beginning with the twins. It always felt so natural and worked so well. The idea of putting my tiny baby anywhere else other than by my side seemed counterintuitive and foreign. I don't think I would have slept for all the worrying.
grebdlog rengaw eiznekcm - Dr. James McKenna has amazing research on the safety and benefits of co-sleeping and bedsharing. I regret not doing it with my first child, but it was wonderful to discover it with my other two. Still bedsharing with my 3 yr old. Thriving kiddos here. :)
dyob enna lerual - Scare tactics are very effective when it comes to pushing an agenda.
grebdlog rengaw eiznekcm - Statistically, it IS safe. The rest of the world does this, as did we in this country before we were told not to just a few generations ago.
enats idieh - I talked with a public health nurse today on the phone and she brought up that they attempt to educate parents that may not have enough money for a crib or bassinet to at least put the baby in a dresser drawer to sleep. I was sort of shocked that they actually think bedsharing is a main cause of Sids. I have been co-sleeping since birth, and it's very safe! I think they should spend more time educating people on safe bedsharing.
koorbtsew yram - Coslept with all three and even at age 6, number three often joins us. Can't over-emphasize the importance of our family bed. Babies belong with their moms and dads.
titneg yrrehs - Co-sleeping has been great for us. (Currently co-sleeping #5 and will with however many more).
namhsrah eitak - My husband is a very very deep sleeper. I've woken with him on top of me all the way and he doesn't notice. So bringing home my four lb infant was a struggle. What I did was put him on my side only and used my body as a shield against my husband. On the side of the bed, I had a pack and play so if something did happen and he fell off the bed, he wouldn't have fallen much more than six inches. It worked well. You can always figure out how to do this. I feel like sleeping with the premie babies is more important because those little ones will stop breathing. Also, my second son's life was probably saved because he was within inches of me when he stopped breathing. Had he been in another room, I don't even want to think about it.
ekoorb eel - When you make a conscious decision to share sleep with your children you are much safer and imagine not cosleeping w a breastfed newborn Sara Curry? What would that look like? Up every 45 seconds to feed???
- I think back on all the years of breastfeeding; of the times I hated it and felt trapped, the t (Type: link | Published: 2014-12-02T19:30:36+0000)
Mothering Magazine: I think back on all the years of breastfeeding; of the times I hated it and felt trapped, the times of mastitis. Of the satisfaction that comes from being able to nourish a baby, the gratitude of that way to comfort when babes are ill or teething, anComments:
yalccm rehtaeh - The way the title was worded, made it sound like she was breastfeeding a 12 year old.
lledron ttelliw idnew - To the moms who haven't had their nursing relationship end yet, I will pass on this beautiful wise message my friend Christina passed on to me, when I tearfully called her fearing that my daughter had weaned as she had not nursed all day. She said "Rather than think of it as over, just say to yourself 'she hasn't nursed today, but she may tomorrow'" I imagine some where in myself if I had focused on it I would have realized that it was over, all my babies were past that age (she was four) and my years as a nursing mom were done. Instead I rotated those words around in my brain and I weaned myself, in a sense, in a more gentle way! I am grateful to have had this relationship with my kids, one of the best things I have had happen in my life. ❤️good luck all!
nosretep nasus - I nursed nine over 18 1/2 years. I was either pregnant, nursing, or both for 14 years, then had a brief time,maybe six months when I was neither, before I got pregnant with my ninth, who stopped somewhere between two and two and half. I was in nursing school by then, and she was in a day care right in the building. I used to go nurse her between classes, sitting on the floor in the daycare. When I had to go back to class I would tell her and she would jump up and run back to play without the slightest anxiety. I remember those times with particular fondness. My oldest daughter had a baby that year whom I also nursed when her mother ( also in her first year at community college) was busy. I even nursed them both together. But that was my last year of nursing. I was gone too much, also working 35 hours a week in a nursing home, and the nursing relationship petered out. At first I was too busy in my new world of school and work to miss it, but now I am nostalgic. After about 23 years I still have a let down reflex when I hear the sounds made by a tiny baby or hold or even see one.
rekrab swal refinnej - i'm not reading this. i'm pregnant with my last child, and this means i have at least three more years of blissful nursing!!
nalfat yerdua - *sob* Beautiful! I too am ending my journey after almost 11 years. At times I grumble thag my 3 year old still nurses, but the thought has never occured to me that the time will come where he won't anymore. :-(
reruam ztear acissej - Crying reading this because I know my time is coming soon as well. As much as I want it to be over I also don't.
rettop-newo ynnej - It broke my heart when my milk never came in. .. but so thankful I found moms willing to help!
sdnommis rebma - That title is misleading. It sounds like she breastfed a kid until they were 12. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
namredienhcs nosirrah immat - Nope. Not even gonna read it. Already crying knowing I'm nursing my last baby. I may just nurse til she's in college (kidding).
etihw nerraw ellehcar - I could of written this! From the breastfed 5 kids, to breastfeeding for a total of over 12 years combined. My youngest is 4.5 and weaned almost a year ago. You're never really ready for it...but then again...you kind of are. <3
enoh emeiht yelah - I just weaned my 21 month old last month. Bitter sweet only because I am 6 months pregnant. Her hematologist asked me to nurse for 24 months for the immunity support and benefits, I thought- "wow! That's such a long time" and it surprised me how easy it was:) I enjoyed it very much and I'm sure it would have lasted longer if my body would allowed. It's so awesome to see so many nurse:) such a wonderful experience!
nosbig eeg - An amazing journey of motherhood.
I'm BFing my 23 month old and my 5 week old. My toddler was weaning but since the baby's arrival he doesn't want to feel left out so is nursing more. I feel liked I've always got my boobs out lol
krik latnahc - This bright tears to my eyes. i miss nursing so much :(
snrub htebazile - I had a 5 yr breastfeeding career that ended nearly 2 years ago now with my youngest daughter. I still miss it often. I truly enjoyed nursing both of my girls. They each coincidentally weaned at 26 months old.
llangirb ahsila - I'm not even going to think about it. I'm on my last baby and have been nursing off and on for the last 10 years. :( I just don't want to think about this time ending.
yahs ttoille yram - Emily Shay Hockenberry
taocffej sdoow yasdnil - Oh! This. I am so close to this. 5 1/2 years for me with two little ones! It has been such a blessing!
regdab ymmat - I won't even read this because I know it will make me cry. I wish I could relive every second of the 6 (TOTAL) beautiful years of breastfeeding both my boys. The most beautiful time in my life!
ylgnittam ytsirhc - It is so very bittersweet. I have nursed all five of my sons, finally weaning my youngest and last at 4yo this year, after 11+ years of being pregnant and/or lactating. I am in a new season of motherhood and I sometimes get a bit wistful when I think about never comforting a baby at the breast again.
hehsip aliel - I'm nursing my first and the thought of it ending still brought tears to my eyes.
nedar aram - My 3 year old is weaning and among my 5 children I've been breast feeding for 13 years. It's comforting to hear from someone in the same space.
- If you've had one or more c-sections, have you found that the experience influenced your desire (Type: link | Published: 2014-11-23T21:49:02+0000)
Mothering Magazine: If you've had one or more c-sections, have you found that the experience influenced your desire or ability to have more children?Comments:
renniks adnama - we had an emergency c section with our first,, we had another, and another, and i would have another. the romance of vaginal birth has made women feel inadequate if they birth via c section, it makes for a lonely experience, that's for sure as there are no fairy lights and soft music or friends in the delivery room, but that does not make it any less or more of a good birth in my opinion.
gn nosredna hteb - Had 4 csections and actually they didn't bother me at all. I enjoyed my births and the extra time in the hospital (that's the only vacation I get lol)
htims ennaoj - My first was a very traumatic emergency c-section. It made me educate myself and prepare for my next birth. I had 3 more children. All of them all drug free V-Bacs with a Doula
namremmiz yelhsa - I had a scheduled c section with my daughter because she was breech and for me it was so easy and my recovery was a breeze. You hear traumatic horror stories about vaginal deliveries as well. Everyone has a different perspective.
egavas enaj - I had a c-section with my first and it was so devastating I refuse to have any more children. Before I had my son I always thought I would have two children, there is no way I will put myself through the possibility of that trauma again. I know some women have a c-section and it is fine with them/not traumatic but for me it was devastating. I am certain if I had to have another C-section I would not survive it emotionally. It took a lot of therapy and anti-depressants to get functional after the trauma of my son's birth.
nesredep aim - I've had three and although not what I had wanted, I have three healthy children and would have a fourth in a heart beat.
htims remmus - I have had a natural drug fee birth and a Csection! I'd do the Csection over again in a heart beat! It was a great experience! I was breastfeeding my twins within 20 minutes if having them Csection. Never again a natural birth! Forget it! It was exhausting, painful, and just plain sucked! I was in so much pain and so tired from labor, I didn't have the energy to enjoy my first child, or get the hang of
Breastfeeding. Just an overall terrible experience with a natural delivery. Simple as that!
tnerb-nediehrebo aerdna - The article annoys me because it assumes that women are forced to have c-sections, some harm is being done to women. Wtf? It is a woman's choice, or a choice that has to be made in an emergency situation. It is much more likely that the woman is forced to have a bad conscience about a c-section in comparison to a natural birth, not vice versa. Another emotional factor that might play a role if a woman decides not to have another child, but then it is not the c-section that is the problem. I have never experienced being pushed into a c-section choice nor do I know anyone who was. I guess the author is a little biased here. Fact is, any birth can be traumatic, natural or s-section. Do the statistics say why women who gave birth via c-section are less likely to have another child? Perhaps in those cases an emergency c-section was traumatizing? And then it is not so much the c-section itself, but the fact that it was an emergency birth situation (no time to prepare, lots of fear, etc.).
acnamalas einnoc - I agree c-section do traumatize you for life . I had a emergency c-section with my first child. The next day my doctor was so amazing he talk to me about having a v-bac if I decide to have more children . Second child I had a successful v-back with lots of support . My birth experience with my second was much more amazing ..
thgirw sirhc - I think a better question is, why do we live in a C section obsessed society? I hear more about that now than natural births. Sure some are necessary but almost all now? I think it boils down to it costing more so the hospital gets more money out of people.
hctah annahoj - This is the thing I feel so few care providers acknowledge or educate their patients about with regard to cesareans - a primary cesarean and refusal of care providers to provide VBAC care forcibly limits women's ability to decide how many children they will have.
ydnulb aicen - Speaking as a preemie mom, I personally find parts of this conversation to be slightly ridiculous. Because it isn't about you. Yes, you are the one giving birth, but when it's either your life or your child's, then how they get here doesn't matter. Or even if it wasn't a life or death situation and the birth wasn't all sunshine, then that's life. We were never promised that birth would be easy and if that's what you think, then you're seriously kidding yourself. I personally think there is too much emphasis in our society on "me, me, me" "my birth plan" "my this" or "my that." I had no choice. It was either I give birth to him via cesarean or we die. Would I have liked to have a vaginal birth? Yes. Did I think it was going to be all rainbows and wonder? Nope. Because thankfully, I had friends who were brutally honest with me about birth. And to be frank, out of all of the women I know, only two have had successful first births where nothing went wrong and there was no trauma. Everyone else had some kind of trauma. And I personally believe that's true of most women. I think women just need to let go of this idea that it's going to be like the movies and focus on what really matters: a healthy baby and a mama that is alive to take care of him/her. I realize that it's difficult when you feel like you have no voice, but sometimes the choices have to be made for you because of your situation. And that's where letting go of the need for control needs to come in. It isn't just your story, it's your baby's. And really, how many good moms are seriously going to tell their children that their birth was awful and they regret it? Yes, some moms still experience pain, but that's less about the birth experience than about the actual process itself-- issues with a vaginal delivery, bad c-section operation, etc. And those can happen to anyone. My son's birth was traumatic due to his being born at 29 weeks and my developing sudden severe preeclampsia. Yes, I am scared to have another child because I run the risk of the same thing happening, but I'm also willing to let go and try. Because I just don't know. And I honestly do not care one little teeny tiny bit how any future children will be born. If I have to have another c-section, fine. If I can try for a VBAC, fine. Because it isn't about me and how they arrive into the world. If my son's birth taught me anything it's that so long as we're both healthy in the end, then that's all that matters.
ellehcim nosilla - I have had 3 c sections and I am sick & tired of the negative stigma around them. Traumatized for life? Give me a break. Stop making mothers who give birth via c section feel like less of a woman than those who give birth naturally.
awahdnar thgirw rebma - This article makes me so angry! My first born and I are alive today because of the modern medical miracle of C-section. I was able to go on and have a second child because of the blessing of a second C-section. These articles that demonize C-sections are so offensive to those of us whose lives were saved in that manner.
euhonod netsirk - I think this article is spot on-this is coming from someone who had 3 sections. I did not have the necessary support for a VBAC (in 2007 it was MUCH harder to find a doctor to do one) and I was scared. While I've made peace with how my children came into the world, the *better* option is clear. Just because an article makes you uncomfortable or sad doesn't mean that it shouldn't be written or discussed. It's only through these hard conversations that change can be made. A 30% c-section rate is obscene.
oarruc sreewhcs refinnej - I had a planned C. I was perfectly fine with it, healed beautifully and have no regrets. I was high risk at 37 and he was measuring at over 10 pounds. They didn't want to take chances. Turns out, his umbilical cord was extremely short and he wouldn't have passed through the birth canal, so it was a blessing. Birth is birth, beautiful in all forms.
makso-sedohr ulul - My first was an emergency, second a elective. Next will be an elective. I am all for the baby being born the safest way for both mother and child, all this rubbish about it not being a proper 'birthing' experience - I felt my babies grow inside me for 9 months I don't feel any less a woman or Mumma because I had a c section.
noslib ahsatan - I had the worst c-section experience. Labor for 2 days then an emergency c-section. For my next child I will see a doctor that does VBAC. I don't care how far I have to travel.
nordneg eiluj - I had an emergency cs with my first. I was devastated. I wanted a vbac but ended up hospitalized with a blood clot at 38 weeks with my second. We opted for another cs because they were afraid I was going to throw the clot during labor. It was a gentle cesarean and was SO MUCH BETTER. Massage music played, the lights were dimmed, they milked the cord (almost as good as delayed cord clamping) and he was skin to skin on my chest the whole time they stitched me up and wheeled me back to my room. It wasn't the vbac I wanted but it was so much better the second time around. I will still try for a vbac next time but won't be upset if I need another cs.
niets iret - ANY bad birth experience can be traumatizing. I had a horrific vaginal delivery with my first. I needed a transfusion, my milk never came in because of the trauma and i couldn't walk right for a year. My second, almost five years later, was a c-section. I had so much more control over how the birth unfolded, an my recovery was days long (as opposed to a year). I felt so much grief and loss over the way my first birth unfolded, and found my c-section to be very healing. Still nursing baby #2 at 2! I feel very grateful that I had the option to have a C-section; I wouldn't have had another child otherwise.
snaw yenrib enitsirhc - Absolutely not. I am not defined by the method I gave birth. I have two perfect and healthy children. I never intended to have a c-section and wished it turned out differently, but I cannot help but think this blog post sways in favor of the population of women who shame women who had c-sections.
- Post-baby time is one filled with hormonal moods and vulnerability. How do we as women think it (Type: link | Published: 2014-11-17T21:18:03+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Post-baby time is one filled with hormonal moods and vulnerability. How do we as women think it’s okay to tear a mom down during this trying time? And since some mom out there somewhere will always be in this difficult phase of life, I would like forComments:
yalruog-retxaht eiluj - No one is attacking "fit women". Maria Kang does not represent all fit women, I sincerely hope. This article has a beef with the badly chosen words Maria Kang used to shame other moms.
sevetse latsyrc - What about you don't need an excuse. Weather your a mom or not. Every person is gets to spend their time on this planet as they see fit. My kids were great sleepers, I was never sleep deprived, I didn't work and I still didn't care about having a six pack or make-up or any of it. I valued spending every second with them that could. I valued being the person that was there when they needed me. I enjoyed my time snuggling babies on my couch. My "excuse" is I love being with my family more then I love having a tight ass.
cinhcurp navor eillim - wait, did Maria send her fans to comment on this page or something? how are more moms not relating to this? i definitely didn't read this as shaming fit moms.
ektdar tsirhclig lehcar - I thought that "whats your excuse?" thing was silly. I mean, come on, we all have our priorities, and the focus of our energies for many of us might change day to day/week to week. Whats your excuse for....not keeping a perfectly clean house? Not cooking 3, perfectly balanced made from scratch meals a day, every day? not spending time developing a talent/working on a hobby? Not spending a good chunk of time every day giving each child some one on one attention? Not having weekly date nights to strengthen your marriage/relationship? Not getting 8 hours of sleep every night? Not going to the gym/for a jog every day? Not putting on makeup/doing your hair every day?Not limiting your kids screen time to an hour a day? I could go on and on. We all probably do many of those things, some of the time. The "excuse" for not managing every freaking thing perfectly every day? We are ONE PERSON and any one of those items comes at the expense of one of the others. Dinner might be amazing, healthy, from scratch one night, take out pizza the next. I might sew a new outfit for one of the kids one day, and when I'm doing that, the kids will be watching tv and the house wont get clean. The house might get super clean, but then I might be going to bed extra late that night as a result.
eosdelb nageam - This article doesn't attack fit women. It's attacking the language used to shame women.
Wanting a little more sleep...not working out b/c you had 3 kids in 3 years and that makes you too tired (or busy) to work out isn't an excuse. You just have different priorities or needs or wants or whatever. Calling it an excuse is a way to make you feel guilty.
sllim enelyak - I didn't take Maria's campaign like this article at all. It sounds like the woman who wrote this article has feelings of guilt and is down right bitter. Jealous even. Absolutely ridiculous to tear down a woman who fits her workouts into her day. Good for her! We should be celebrating women and motherhood!
gnortsmra acinorev - She didn't attack or shame anyone. Please. Using this as a shameless ploy for clicks? Give me a break.
avonarret myk - I'm so sick of articles on every page talking about this or that kind of shaming that's supposedly going on. I guess that must mean I'm shame shaming.
notlih allecram - I think everyone tackled the responsibilities of motherhood in their own way. Every one has a lifestyle that works for them. Attacking fit women is just as bad as fat shaming. If we all attack each other than corporations can continue prey on our insecurities and make money off of us. Women shaming women is making the marketing departments job easier than it should. Knocking someone down a peg is so highschool.
daras einahpets - People need to stop shaming anyone for anything. #mindyourownbusiness
ylad l eiggug - I found her hugely inspirational and totally got her point, no need to shame her for her non-pc or somehow imperfect meme/wording. We either want something enough to go get it, or we make excuses. If it's not what you WANT then stop whining about it. This is about people who self-sabotage, who repress, who hide their inner needs or desires by claiming they have to care for others. Which I find to be a pervasive issue, especially among women/mothers. Too bad we wasted more breath on Maria and less on reminding women that YOU MATTER, and that YOU DESERVE what you WANT. Whether that is education, a career, a completed thesis, a fit body, healthy friendships, etc.
snevets enilorac rehtaeh - My twins toddlers and active 8 year old are not excuses. My teaching job is not an excuse. My home and my husband are not excuses. My need for 8 hours sleep is not an excuse. My chickens and garden are not excuses. My aging parents are not excuses. All of these things are blessings that fill my life with richness and happiness. I wouldn't trade even one of them for a "fit body". What's Maria Kang's excuse for having such screwed up priorities???
datsvla enelyahs - I love this article. So. Much.
nosnikcid a eerc - How about she tries an unphotoshopped picture and then we can talk :)
sreilliv ed atep - Love this article. We should be celebrating our own lives without telling people that they should be doing it 'our way'.
gnilretsae ylloh - Because any woman not in great shape with her hair and make-up done must be making excuses. It's not like there's any other way to determine worth.
eigob-namlig adnama - I also find the "what's your excuse" tag line judgmental rather than empowering. We all have different experiences (and levels of support) and our motherhood journeys are not the same. My son was a challenging infant and is growing into a sweet, albeit somewhat willful toddler; at 14-months old we're just now in a place where I can prioritize a workout and try to focus on my own health and fitness again. I'm envious of the moms whose figures snap back so soon after childbirth or who have infants who sleep for hours at a time without being held and nursed but I know that the measure of my worth isn't determined by a scale.
raerg tenaj - I won't read this article just as I didn't read the "what's your excuse" article because unless you live in my home or I live in yours, no one knows what other people's lives are like. Also, toned abs doesn't equal fantastic health so I don't have the time to waste on trying to bring other people down. It's not a competition people, mind your damn business!
tnomerf hguabhgih llij - Hmmm my nervous system got attacked by a sepsis infection the hospital gave to me postpartum and I am retraining myself to stand 4 years after this mess. Wonder if I'm excused. Gimme a break. It's hard enough to keep up with breast feeding, find a babysitter so you don't have to take your kid to a filthy gym daycare and not to mention hernias, separated muscles in the stomach, bladder issues, etc that can occur. If you are able to do it, great. If not then you should be able to feel happy with yourself just the way you are. Being a mom is a hard job and we do the best we can. We don't always make ourselves first priority.
renbircs eidnas - I think it's more about that badly worded tag line of #whatsyourexcuse than fit mom shaming. It does have a way to get into ones head and make them over think then feel like they aren't doing enough.
enavid acinom - People took this campaign the wrong way. It's sad how they attacked Maria over it. I found it empowering and encouraging. It wasn't until I was a mom that I dropped 60 lbs and got fit. Being a mom is not an excuse, it's my reason to be fit. I had to be able to keep up with my very active son. The article states how that campaign shames moms but it doesn't. If there's a will, there's a way. If you want to get into shape, then just do it and try your hardest. It sounds like women who took this campaign offensively were just wrought with guilt, jealously, and bitterness about their lifestyle. It takes a lot of hard work to get into shape especially after having a baby (I would know!). Honestly, it's mostly about eating right. She should be applauded for looking that good after three kids!
- What's the biggest thing *you* swore you would NEVER do as a parent but ended up doing anyway?? (Type: photo | Published: 2014-11-11T00:00:00+0000)
Mothering Magazine: What's the biggest thing *you* swore you would NEVER do as a parent but ended up doing anyway?? We all have them! Share yours in the comments and we'll add it to a fun and inspiring article to share with other parents. :)Comments:
nagirrac nonnahs - Nursing (yikes!) I have a chronic illness and I had to give up my medication through 10 months of TTC and 10 months of pregnancy. It's not safe to take while breastfeeding so I had no plans to nurse. I ended up with such a horrible child birth experience that all I wanted to do was nurse her. I canceled the orders for my medication - asking for an LC instead. We nursed for almost 3 years and I have never felt better or been happier about anything in my life!
llebpmac eruza - Co-sleeping, and now it's the highlight to my night.
tteweh eitak - Let my kids watch t.v., feed them anything BUT organic whole foods, and Im sure there are MANY more! We are ALL parenting experts until we have a couple kids! Haha
ydennek nerak - Characters on stuff. We avoided it for years but gradually people started giving us stuff. It's ridiculous but apparently unavoidable. For the life of me I will never understand why everything from clothes to bedding to even produce (Disney princess grapes, really?) has to have a cartoon character on it.
yenoom nessennahoj aras - I swore I would never cook them a meal different than what we were having. Some nights it's just not worth the battle.
nosnhoj asil - Lick my finger and use it to wipe stuff off my kids faces
fuakreueht ynnej - I swore I would never bribe my kids. But, you better believe I promised candy, ice cream, her own castle, anything I could to get her to stay quiet during an important phone call I had to take.
ahcam refinnej - Opening up snacks that I'm buying at the grocery
nospmoht nahgallac nonnahs - Oh and only nurse six months. Lol, try two to two and a half years!
onitep yelhgiek ycnan - Homeschooling.
I had an unmedicated midwife assisted water birth with my son, cloth diapered, coslept, exclusively BF for 6mos, extended BF until 3.4 years old, etc. But the one thing I swore I would never do is homeschool. Now we are 6 months in and loving it! What I have discovered is that children change our perspectives and priorities, give us courage to try new things, force us to step out of our comfort zones...and teach us to never say never.
neel htak - Letting them have junk food (my kids were going to ONLY EVER eat fruit, veggies, etc., until they had developed a preference, and then they would be allowed ONCE in a while, like once a month was the plan.) And TV. I planned for my kids to never see TV.
nospmoht nahgallac nonnahs - Sleep with my babies. Second night home from the hospital, Dad and I woke up refreshed and my baby nursed well. I'm so thankful I did. My 3 boys always went to bed well for us. Slept well too.
gnuel einnoc - Taking her out of her car seat to sooth her while my husband is driving. :p
adrav elleinad - I love this quote. .."my children are making it impossible for me to be the mother I always said I would be"!
retrac ila - Saying "because I said so" as a response to "why?" I say it all the time, and I mean it. :)
llehctim liagiba - Co sleeping, but mommy daddy and baby sleep better so why not?
ytregof eus - Let them watch tv while eating candy. They're still alive.
kuinowyt nnyl eittiac - Leave my ex/be a single mom. Honestly one of the best things I ever did.
ydeewt mik - Where do I begin....?
nosdrahcir ylime - Spank. I said I would never spank.
eralc aicila - Breastfeed a kid who could ask for it. Ha ha!
- Do you agree with this? (Type: link | Published: 2014-11-11T20:23:37+0000)
Mothering Magazine: Do you agree with this?Comments:
smailliw nagem - To quote the wonderful Alfie Kohn, "kids learn to make decisions by making decisions, not by following directions."
I am not "in charge" of my kids, as an authority figure - they are each in charge of themselves, and we are all a team, working and growing together.
I don't know how other folks define friendship, but I am, and always will be, friends with my children. I feel very sad for any family lacking this bond . . .
ldiets-imuziok anna - I wholeheartedly agree with you Megan Williams-- It seems that some moms and dads get the phrase 'I'm your Mom/Dad, not your friend' circling around in their heads, and parrot it whenever challenged by their child's actions. I am not my son's 'best friend' in the sense that I always enjoy what he enjoys or vice versa, and I don't unload my emotional baggage on him, but we are best friends in the sense that I am his partner, and not his adversary--in all aspects of life. We are equals in the relationship. There is no top down authoritarianism that treats him as a 'subordinate'. I 'command' respect with my son--by respecting my son! Gasp! This is not an either/or 'problem', as in 'either you are your child's friend, or you are their parent'. Life is much bigger than that. You can be BOTH.
egnal jk - DUH. Giving away your authority position leaves you with kids who won't respect you or any other position of authority. Just my humble opinion. My son is 29 and still knows my "mom look" altho he's going to be developing his "dad" look soon. When your kids are 25 you can start building friendships... before that... you're the parent. Teach them to work, to get along in the world, even when they don't like it, stop rescuing them. Going shopping is not the cure all for every bad feeling your son or daughter has. Let their friends be their friends
nagillum aicila - My moms always been my best friend and still is, and I would want to be the same for my girls.
eizdnek elehcim - I think this is a stupid debate. There are lots of kinds of friends. The people saying you can't be friends with your children assume incorrectly that you can't do that AND also guide them, etc. I'm friendly with my kids AND they respect me.
lahtnevel asem - As my mom always said, "Your kids will have many friends. They will only ever have one mother & father." As a pediatrician I see many parents confuse open lines of communication & being supportive of their child with a peer-type friendship. If you're her friend then how can you say No to the party where there may be alcohol & she's underage? Gee, her friend is going (but mom, all my friends are going!) I'm your mom & not their mom so the answer is No. She will be angry & that is where the "friend" as parent can't do what is best for their child. Plus people confuse the much more equal relationship they have with their parents after they have grown up with what is best for childhood & teen years. The relationship changes with the maturity of the child certainly but parents should be special.
nospmoht nahgallac nonnahs - Agreed! My mother put me in the position of her best friend. I was her only shoulder to cry on when she was beat by my stepfather. I couldn't cry. I had to be her strength. I knew her sex life since I was 13 years old. She told me. I knew all of her financial woes. She told me. I grew up way too fast. I divorced when my boys were 11, 9, and 6. I have not put that pressure on them. I knew that wasn't life for a child.
nosnhoj tak - You can be both.
senoj yelssorc ycnan - Wisdom from a college professor that I still remember all these many years later... Your child will have so many friends come and go and anyone can be their friend. Only one person can be their mom. Brilliant!
drawoh haras - You don't get to choose your family. Expecting people to like you simply because you're related is silly. I love my son and we have a TON of fun together, but sometimes I have to make unpopular decisions for his well-being. Worrying that he might not like me would not be in anyone's best interest in those circumstances.
renbircs eidnas - I found this quote on Tumblr and I completely agree:
"Parents who don't want to be their child;s friend completely miss the point of friendships. True friends are there for you in good and bad time, they understand and respect you, and you just can't do without their love and support. So, what is wrong with wanting to be your child's friend?" -Shirin Purnell
nepypnav lem - I feel gratitude for both the friendship I have with my own parents and the one that grows each moment with my children. I can still be their parent while nurturing our friendship. We are a family, a team, we work together, we grow together, we suffer and thrive together. I can't help but wonder how could we not be friends!?
aksilvap rakot lorac - It depends on your definition of friendship. By my definition, I am totally friends with my kids.
yevad eibbed - As a teacher, I see the disadvantages of trying to be the authority while trying to be best friends. As a parent, I can imagine it would be even worse. My sisters kids are extremely good kids and the youngest is a challenge, but they know non and dad are the living leaders NOT their friends and that makes all the difference.
htumretliw nna'd haym - I don't think it has a thing to do with needing to maintain authority. I had a mother though that truly saw me as her best friend. The issue becomes that friendship is 50/50. It is depend on both parties caring for each other's personal life. Kids should not need to be concerned with their parents intimate lives. I was the kid who took care of my moms emotional and physical needs. It created a very codependent child that did not know how to be a child. I never felt held in the safety of my mother "having things." That is why I don't want to be my child's best friend. They need peers for that. Once they are adults I hope our friendship will change into more equals like it has with my father.
otein-oyop aeslehc - Define friendship.
krap assenav - Agree fully. As a middle school teacher For 25 years I have seen the disasters that ensue from "BFF" mom-daughter relationships. Boundaries are comforting. Unconditional love does not mean equality.
drofron lluc nerual - There is a difference between friendship and poor boundaries. A parent that dumps their troubles on their child isn't even behaving as a friend would. They are almost taking advantage of the relationship because the child doesn't have much of a choice but to listen.
sdrahcir gem - Having a really good relationship with them, doesn't mean being a peer to them. Parents are not peers, and there is good reason for that. That doesn't mean parents can't have good relationships with their kids, but if kids were ready to be totally responsible (and therefore the ultimate authority) unto themselves, we would lay clutches of eggs in the sand and slither away without a backward glance, leaving them to the forces of nature and their own instincts. Human children need protection, guidance, and upbringing by their parents, which means we can't consider them all-wise unto themselves and therefore never in need of our guidance, direction, and if need be, consequences.
nahsuhs ekim - My favorite overheard quote one day near the Gallery Mall in Philly, has become a kind of mantra for me to not be a best friend to my kids: "I'm not your motherf**king friend! I'm your motherf**king mother!!"
annah ekoorb - Nope. Don't agree.