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- Mothering Magazine - Official FB PageCategory: Society/culture website Likes: 88131 Talking About: 225935About: Mothering is the premier community for naturally minded parents. Founded as a magazine in 1976, Mothering today hosts the most active forums for parents online.
- The quality of love a caregiver gives during her child’s first years of life has a tremendous (Type: link | Published: 2014-07-24T22:58:28+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 309)
Mothering Magazine: Do you agree?Comments:
Susan Dion Sheldon - I carried my babies in a heart to heart answered there cries immediatley, breastfed even when the just wanted extra comfort. My children grew up to be independent confident individuals and I never dealt with separation anxiety.
Kari Reilly - This is why our three adopted kids have so many problems (especially two of them) because they had inconsistent caregivers, didn't have sufficient food, their needs weren't met, etc. Our breastfed, cosleeping since day 1, attached baby is thriving and so engaging. She has a huge personality and enjoys everyone. She's "attached" but her own person definitely! We coslept with our other ones and wore them, etc. to try and establish that crucial bond. We've made huge progress, but it'll affect them the rest of their lives in ways none of us even understand. That's why I cringe at people who willingly sleep train and cry it out. I'd give anything to have been able to hold my babies when they needed someone. :(
Nowformothers HealingMix - Attachment throughout a childs life matters.
Jennifer Nelson - I'm glad my baby got that from Dad and Uncle and Grandma, because she sure didn't get it from me. :'( I was horribly depressed for her first year, and I know I didn't respond quickly enough or let her nurse enough (I needed antidepressants!!) or anything a good mom is supposed to do. I will forever be grateful for the family and friends who could do what I couldn't.
Marybeth Nelson - Unequivacally, absolutely, without a doubt, 100% YES.
And yep-it's hard to do.
Sucks at moments when you want sleep, etc.
(Amazed how many new parents are 'not going to put up with' their 4 month old needing an extra feeding in the night... good grief. I feel like asking, Did you read the chapter on having kids?!)
Child-led parenting (vs parent-led) in the very early stages is important to that bond. But, honestly (and sadly), alot of people don't really care about attachment as a goal.
Emma Reznic - Its not that i disagree; but, this article quotes some very dated studies. And lets not forget, there are usually 2 patents involved! Not entirely convinced that the entire weight of a childs future needs to solely fall on the mothers shoulders.
Emma Bachand - I agree 110%, too!
What a wonderful, reassuring article. Sometimes our society puts guilt trips on parents making them think they are "spoiling" their child. Not true.
Love this article, thanks!
Leah Brandi Deragon - but what if you live in the only country in the world without paid maternity leave and your financial circumstances force you back to work at 6 weeks or even sooner, less mother blaming, more public policy!
Jaqui Freund - Devoted to attachment parenting, La Leche League leader and homeschooler...YES! My grown kids are happy, healthy and doing great!!!!!!!
Patricia Vanier - That is why night time parenting is essential. Babies needs dont arise from a clock. Tiring yes, but finding your tribe helps you build supports to be able to meet your child's normal needs - Teresa Pitman will be talking about both finding your tribe and sweet sleep (nighttime parenting) at the Family Conference Sept 26/27 in Edmonton
Melissa Schulz - Agree. Our pediatrician told us we're crazy if we don't do cry-it-out. They were even more concerned that we co-sleep. Well, she's 11 months old now and doing beautifully... Sleeping (mostly) through the night in between her mama and papa and is an amazingly curious child. Just like this article talks about.
Rebecca Gibbs - Agree loved nursing holding and sleeping with my children. Felt very natural and right. Beautiful experience. :-)
Katherine Boniello - Yes!! 100 percent! My girls are n were both co sleepers they are confident curious independent children who are snuggly, caring, loving, and compassionate little girls! My oldest was nursed until 2 years 4 months old and I am going on 7 months with my youngest;);)
Nancy Crossley Jones - Yes yes yes yes yes!!!
Jessica Phillips Rogers - Andrea Taylor - the dad in this article looks like Aaron to me!
Birth Roots BellytoBaby - There's been a lot of talk about the pressing need for improved parental leave policies here in the U.S., i.e., the only developed nation without mandatory paid time off for new moms. So we're looking for real stories about why parental leave matters -- were you able to take either maternity leave or paternity leave? And how did that affect you and your family? If you'd be willing to talk with our reporter about your experience, e-mail email@example.com.
Emily Sottile - Completely agree. It's a no brainer that babies bond with mom beyond the womb. Children are people too and they need to have the primal needs met in order to trust that other needs will be met. Then they are able to know how to carry that to others.
Nicola Grody - Ditto Jaqui Freund!
Chantal Cyr - I agree! I did not co-sleep with my first but did everything else. Never let her cry though, I would get up 2 to 3 times to feed and comfort. But for my second I co-sleep. I am experiencing a huge difference! He is so calm and so happy! Amazing experience! Less tired!! I never experienced any tantrums with my first! It really works to bond with your little ones!
Nicole Evans - Alyson Marie Lewis this is a good read. We are doing it right (:
Andrea Fansler - Lynn Busch.... More attachment theory!
- I wore a bikini to the beach yesterday. At three months postpartum, my tummy is soft, squishy, (Type: link | Published: 2014-07-23T21:19:22+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 1045)
Mothering Magazine: I wore a bikini to the beach yesterday. At three months postpartum, my tummy is soft, squishy, and covered with stretch marks (despite an excellent diet and regular exercise, embarked upon because it makes me feel good). I am a woman who, according to our society, is Not Supposed to Wear a Bikini. B…Comments:
Brandi Baddeley - I don't think this message is solely about wearing a bikini.. But about embracing and loving your body, and wearing whatever makes you feel good and comfortable. To hell with society's standards if they deem you "not thin enough" for a subsection of clothing.
Heather Rardin - Yesssss! I had someone question me about wearing a bikini pregnant before. VERY pregnant. It was comfortable and I was hot and huge. I didn't give a crap what others thought. It's my body. As long as my privates are covered, it shouldn't matter. That's like saying someone with a scar on their face should cover it up in public because other people don't want to see it. Well, if you don't like it, don't look at the person. YOLO-throw the self-consciousness out the window for once ;)
Kudos to her!!!!!!! :)
Annaliese Schimdt - I would rather stick my head in a cage filed with hungry, rabid badgers. But kudos to her
Julie Donnelly-Mathews - I guess I just don't get this new " wearing a bikini courage movement". A one piece looks better on a lot of people. Except on my honeymoon I never cared about wearing a bikini. I don't feel its s radical act
Violet Rose - I love it!! We need way more positive words and images of mother's bodies. I also wear a bikini . Thanks for the post and picture, beautiful new mama.
Daisy Curry - I wore mine a month later...screw anyone who has a problem with it.
Christine Tippins- Maylin - I have had two kids. And gained a lot of weight with the first but not with the second. I'm very short 4'11 my husband and father of my kids is 6'5. So you can image my "baby pouch" and soft belly. But I still wear a bikini because I LIKE the way it makes me feel! And the hubby likes it also. ;-) to each their own! Do what makes you feel beautiful not what society "says" is supposed to be beautiful!
Anna Roaf - "Despite what we’ve been told, our bodies do not exist merely to be gazed upon." Amen to that!!!
Megan Moore - I will probably never wear a bikini just because I don't like them, but I've started to realize that a lot of the clothing I wear to "cover up" the shape of my body is actually drawing more attention to it or at least to the fact that I'm "hiding something." I'm.also realizing that most of the negative talk is my own. Most people aren't spending as much time worrying about what I'm wearing as I am.
Cassandra Parets - I haven't kids but I still don't feel comfortable in a bikini right now. It's about being comfortable.
Heather Vallis Harhay - "Our bodies are beautiful just because they are. And– much more important than being beautiful– our bodies are amazing because they work." LOVE IT!
Suzanne Schmidt Grothier - If men thought the way women did, there would be alot of men who "should not" take their shirts off and wear bathing suits but they do it and don't think twice about it! So go for it ladies!
Mona Fletcher Ring - I still wear one at 54, if you work out and take care of yourself, why not!
Marshall Newman - It's America do what the hell you want and if they don't like it tell'em go to hell.
Katie White Marconi - Who made that rule? Where whatever you want.
Nicole Newpher - I have 3 babies, 2,4 and 6 years old. I'm finally getting back to ME! I'm wearing a bikini for the 1st time in probably 7 years. I've lost 25lbs and I'm in the best shape I've been in 15 years. I don't wear a bikini for anyone but ME! I feel amazing about myself, about the hard work I've put in, and I want all 3 of my babes to know mommy feels amazing and it shows!!!
Renee Meuse Bishara - Perfect timing...summer weather has triggered a chat in our household about this exact thing...I've switched to a tankini as my tummy is softer and has stretch marks after two kids. My husbands the one asking why I've put away bikinis and encouraging me to wear them, mentioning the stretch marks as a sign of what my body has done. I have been thinking about it a lot...may have to pull out the old bikini, see if any of them fit. I guess it comes down to what makes us feel comfortable so we can enjoy the beach or whatever
Karen Leste - Where is the love button when you need it? Thank you!!!
Krista West - I did the same, Heather! Forget buying a maternity swimsuit...bikini works just fine. And I'm not"fit" fit a bikini when I'm NOT pregnant but so be it.
Kathy Dickson - kudos to her, but I do like to be tan, and in shape. I like to work out until my muscles give out on me. I'm sure her stretch marks are not as visual as someone of darker complexion.
Donna Mear - Good on her!!! I wear a bikini e en with my bag, and if anyone dared to pull me on it I wouldn't hesitate in emptying my bag all over there feet!!! Nobody should be made to feel ugly or told they can't wear a bikini!
- For some parents, deciding on a middle name can be even harder than choosing the first name! SO (Type: photo | Published: 2014-07-17T01:03:27+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 1)
Mothering Magazine: For some parents, deciding on a middle name can be even harder than choosing the first name! SO, we're putting together a list of inspiring middle name ideas to share with new moms (think unique, classic, beautiful, earthy, adorable). What's YOUR favorite middle name idea?Comments:
Kate DeVito - We do family/significant middle names. First names are the hardest
Dawnett Lanson - As someone with a unique name, I HAFTA say: DON'T DO IT!! It's embarrassing; hard to place ur name for 'pizza'; hard for everything----DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR KID.
Jodi Miranda - I chose a middle name so my daughters initials spelled my mothers name: KIM
Janelle L. Auch - I wanted to pay tribute to my dad who has passed, but he didn't like either his first or middle names. He did however want to name both me and my brother Elvis, regardless of gender. My son's middle name is Presley in order to pay tribute to an Elvis man! :)
Andrea Jane Loubert Perry - We went with Demetrius and Isis for middle names for our kids. They were names we both liked but were a little too weird for us to have as first names. So they get weird middle names. :)
Amy Moore-Witt - I used important people in my life for my children's middle names. These are mostly family names. Incidentally they each have 2 middle names.
Amy Renee Seader - We just liked the sound of the middle names with the first names for our boys. Maxwell Quinn and Mason Alexander. There was no family connection just honored each boy individually by choosing names we liked.
Susan Boyer Teeple - Heh. My daughter's middle name is from Star Trek: T'Shael. My son's is from Superman: Jor-El. :)
Denielle Prokopenko Rose - We did Rivers Aen... Aen is the middle name, pronounced Ah-yen. My husband made it up.
Lindsay Autumn - DD1 has the middle name Winter (Charlotte Winter) because my middle name is Autumn. DS1's middle name is Ronald (Deacon Ronald) after my husband's father. DS2's middle name is Derek (Benjamin Derek) after my father. DD2's middle name is June (Eloise June) after the most wonderful woman that I know, my grandmother. Middle names are my favorite part.
Heather Meier - My daughter's middle name is my maiden name
Jamie Michelle Davis - I think with the middle name it's a safe place to get weird. We gave our daughter the middle name of Loki.
Ali Conklyn Foulk - We used a Saint's name for my son's middle name. His name is Hans Thomas. I would like to use a Saint's name for our next son's middle name, too. :)
Simone Ritcey - Clara - how about Luca? Leon? Lars?
Emma Hansen - Family or ancestor names. Sometimes these names are a bit clunky for everyday use, but perfect for a second name.
Carolyn Gerlach - My daughters middle name is Lovely.
Crystal Whedbee - Used a family name for one kid; the others' middle names are Skye (a place important to us) and Emerson (just sounded cool). We nearly used Sage, but decided on the family name instead. I loved choosing middle names. The first names were much more difficult for us to decide on. :)
Karen Nachman - Both of my kids have two middle names. One for a relative or special person, one that suits the kid and has special significance. One of ours has an NYC street name for the second middle name.
Shelley Hatfield - Just quit using Marie.... Omg, it's the most over used middle name !!!
Yvette S. Medellin - My daughter's middle name is Grace (Isabella Grace) after my grandmother, son's middle is Harrison (Maxwell Harrison) because hubby wouldn't let me call him Han Solo.
Grace Snow - My children's middle names are Grace, Julian, Catherine, and Peter. I guess we go with classic?
- Last month nearly 2500 mamas chimed in on our Facebook page to share advice for new parents in (Type: link | Published: 2014-07-13T18:00:01+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 645)
Mothering Magazine: Last month nearly 2500 mamas chimed in on our Facebook page to share advice for new parents in EXACTLY 5 WORDS. Here are 50 of the most loved bits of wisdom.Comments:
Carrie Appel - Here's a lot more than 5 words: Don't buy into the guilt of being physically unable to breastfeed. Not every woman can whip her breast out and nourish a baby. It doesn't make you less of a mother. Your baby(ies) deserve a mentally healthy mother, not one riddled with guilt.
Richard Kandalec - I would love to see the list when asked of new dads.
Kate Garland - My favorite parenting advice is not to give parenting advice :)
Alecia Clark - Formula feeding is not failure.
Robin Adams - Just relax, you've got this!
Jami La Moure - There is no right way.
Peggy Molina - This is your greatest adventure.
Valerie Leidlich Machado - Most valuable- learn to nurse lying down.
Kelly Spondike Borah - My son is only 3 months so I love this advice! Thank you moms. I love nursing, wearing him, picking him up and now I will really learn to understand and trust my instincts.
Debbie Simpson - Skin to skin solves everything. - my favorite out of the 50. My two year old grandson will pull up my shirt to lay on my tummy when he is tired. (only at home) I love it when he does that because it gives us an added closeness. My 5 words? Hummmm Nothing better than being grandma!
Tash Kasves - Do what works for you and your baby not what works for everyone else
Maureen Hilsdon - Jessica and Jill you need to read these - they are great!
Megan Villa - Love this! Surprised to see so much breastfeeding and attachment parenting support!! Makes me happy
Angie Blake-Moore - Choose laughter when you can.
Kara Arsenault - Omg that's me at #3 I'm so proud it made it in!!!
Josie Borges - Janie Borges 😘
Jonathan Watson - Mine: Parenting dogma is all useless
Jessica Sickle Bangma - Jennifer Yeager 😍
Elizabeth Hiramoto - Ryoko! ❤️❤️❤️
Mackenzie Mc Fann - Awesome thanks Megan Villa !!
Pamela Sheena Maiasaura Tiger - Here's one: Do Not Listen To Others.
- Do you agree with this new list from Mothering blogger Pamm Fontana of More Green for Less Gree (Type: link | Published: 2014-07-14T19:39:05+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 252)
Mothering Magazine: Do you agree with this new list from Mothering blogger Pamm Fontana of More Green for Less Green?Comments:
Carrie Anne - agreed. thats all you need. except perhaps a breast pump
Kandace O'Neill - One more should be on the list: babies need to keep all of their healthy working parts. No circumcision for boys or girls.
Rosemarie DiMare - No need for babies r us.
Evamarie Lema - Yes! A realistic list. This was pretty much everything you will definitely need. There are more but they are situation dependent... with my oversupply issues I needed a lot of "boob stuff"- cloth breast pads, disposable breast pads, towels for milk everywhere, milk catcher, mill storage bags... it's exhausting just thinking about newborn days again.
Cendrine Huemer - Also need various other people, or just one other to hold baby while mama showers.
Hilary Nimmo Lounder - This is a great list. I do wish more folks knew how a lot of items that seem like " must haves" are really dangerous- baby Bjorn and crib bumpers for example. I always tell new moms all babies are so different that a must have for one baby might not be for another (one of mine loved a sleep sack but the other wanted a tighter swaddle with the Velcro) so don't buy a bunch of stuff until baby arrives - stick to the basics.
RE El - Great list.
Mama and baby in bed nursing is all baby needs. Oh yeah. Diapers :)
Jenni Lynn de Dios-Coile - On baby #4 and this list is so much more realistic than what I attempted to keep up with for the first couple. Lol. 👶
Usha Cayang - Punitha Kaliappan
Josie Borges - Janie Borges 😘
Kate DeVito - Everything but the gentle detergent, we've always washed baby clothes with everything else. Depending on season baby doesn't even need clothes unless you're out a lot
Ashley Victoria Nickerson - Brie-Anne Nickerson & Peter Zenner
Dawn Yoder Holycross - This is great! Sure beats the 50 plus item list from Target for Baby Needs!
Amy Moore-Witt - Fantastic list. Makes sense, sounds like what my list would have been when I had my babies... I have 6 children and can not believe all the YOU MUST HAVE, things that are out there.... Which we got away without using any of them for the most part.
Mirella Kahler - Olivia Lins-Janes Fernanda Sanches Sant'Ana
Amber Frazier - ...different Amber Frazier!
Amber Frazier - I liked the list too, even if it's been years since I needed it!!!
Amber Frazier - Perfect list. All we needed were diapers and wipes, some comfy clothes, gentle soap and an infant bathtub, a few blankets, a bouncy seat, and a baby carrier and car seat. I was overwhelmed when I had my first child so I thought I needed Everything. But that's all we needed and used. He wouldn't sleep in a crib and preferred things like plastic cups to "play with" when he started to grab things. Even by age two he didn't need toys. He loved playing with safe household items more then any of his actual toys.
Nicole Saur - That's all I have!
Christopher Campbell - Yup looks right ;) didn't see any cool as hell baby Van's or candy but you should do fine hehehe
Hayley Sousa - Cristinne Correa Da Mota
- I once described to a friend an outing of mine where my nursing was responsible for making a ta (Type: link | Published: 2014-07-07T16:00:01+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 541)
Mothering Magazine: I once described to a friend an outing of mine where my nursing was responsible for making a table of five adults leave their seats at an ice cream shop and her response was, “Well, I mean, if you didn’t have a cover, I understand.” What I’ve come to understand is that the real misunderstanding is the reality of nursing with a cover.Comments:
Jamie Michelle Davis - Why don't I nurse with a cover? Because I don't have to accommodate or explain myself to you that's why.
That being said, I have nursed with a cover in the presence of certain family (in-laws) because I felt like they were watching me like Hawks, and made me feel uncomfortable. We don't spend much time with them.
Sylvinha Borges - Perfect. And yes, that's exactly how it goes. You don't wanna see a nursing mom feeding her baby, use that great thing God equipped you with called your neck and look away!!! 😄
Alison Bromley - i'm militantly pro-breastfeeding in public. why? because i had so much damn trouble getting my first to latch BECAUSE i had never seen women nurse in public. i'd been robbed by our prudish, yet over-sexed, society by the opportunity to witness the different positions, women with different body types, different ways in which nursing could happen successfully. i had to muddle through those first days/months/years alone because WHAT??? the way i feed my child is supposed to be shameful? F-that! what's shameful is making a woman feel bad, leered at, uncomfortable, harassed, or abnormal for FEEDING HER CHILD.
Tabatha McMurray - I'm a practicing Muslim and I don't even wear a cover. I swear, more boob is shown with cover than without because my toddler doesn't want to be under there, and I don't blame him
Samantha Kern Martin - People who say, "I support breastfeeding, BUT..." do NOT support breastfeeding!
Carla Meier - Why don't YOU have breakfast-lunch-dinner with a blanket over YOUR head?
Monti Lawrence - I love that the Victoria's Secret in our mall regularly has images like this one, blown up large and in the front window, but people complain about BFing? I haven't had an issue in my mall, but if i did, I'd be tempted to BF in front of VS and point to the display if anyone gave me a hard time.
Susan Duckett - Just by going out in public these days you see more skin than you see when a baby is nursing. So why would nursing be offensive? The good thing is, its not our problem but theirs!!!
Mallory Bartleson - I agree with Michelle Aronoff! I have breastfed two babies, and have a third due at the end of the month. I have chosen to use a cover when I nurse in public because I am a modest person. It is infuriating to read all of the comments disrespecting the use of cover ups. I like to keep my body private, because that is what I am comfortable with. That in no way means that I am less of a breastfeeding supporter than any of you.
Michelle Aronoff - There are plenty of moms that DO use a cover successfully and WANT to cover up. I believe breastfeeding should be supported no matter the circumstance, but please do not act like covering up is entirely due to pressure from others when some moms just feel more comfortable not being as public about it if they can.
Jennifer McNutt - As you can see I'm not using a cover for one of my twins. I guess I'm just whipping it out for attention right?? And let me tell ya I definitely can't cover when feeding both or even feeding one & holding the other.
Denise Lacey Barringer - I always find it funny that moms nursing where in reality you probably don't actually see anything unless you're really looking as the baby latches or unlatches cause such an uproar. And if I tried to suggest to a scantily clad teen girl revealing more than a breastfeeding mom ever did or boy with his pants falling down to his knees that they cover up, I'd be blasted.
Tim Herlihy - Cause my kids hate it, and you are stealing some great quality face to face time between my new child and his/her mother. My wife is awesome, and my kids deserve that great bonding time with her....and her with them.
Olivia Sumner - Another reason is how much it takes away from the bonding experience in itself!
That said, the main reason is there is nothing more natural than breast feeding.
Celeste Bowen - This is me nursing at my kids dr office this morning. I never "cover" because my kids hate it. You can't see anything, and even if you did it wouldnt be much. Like she said, I always just make sure I am respectful of others and as modest as I can be. Sometimes babies yank you shirt up-- oh well! Laugh it off!
Molly Weber - My son also hated the cover and was a distracted nurser. As someone with large breasts, public nursing was always difficult. Next baby will be different, no more cover. We need to get over the whole breast phobia thing in this country. We are only afraid of breasts that are too large or being used as nutrition. Breasts being used to sell lingerie and sex are totally fine. How whack is that?
Elaine Dominguez Mañas - My favorite is when women say they don't want their husband so she another woman's breasts. Newsflash: men are men and they like to look.If you think he isn't looking at other women and in most cases their chests , you my friend, are an idiot. So what's wrong if he sees a woman using them for one of the reasons they were created?
Laura Rose Perry - Way to go moms! Let's normalize nursing in America.:)
Miki Mugget - go to nepal, where I worked for 4 years. you can breast feed openly, boobs hanging out, and no one will bat an eyelash. women have naturally fed their babies for time immemorial. sad our society has so perverted it into being something sexual.
Amy Willoughby - I could never latch a baby under a cover. I couldn't see the baby and if I'm holding my breast in one hand and supporting the baby's neck with the other, a blanket is totally in the way.
If I tried to look under the blanket to see what I was doing, adding my own exhalations to the already stifling air, the cover just came off. So the latching on part always had to be done uncovered, but I might bring the tail of my sling up for a little privacy, if I felt the need.
Marisa McKelvey - Hilarious and so true. Those things are mini saunas. Screw the cover.
- "I wanted my children two or three years apart. In accordance with that plan, my husband and I (Type: photo | Published: 2014-07-06T21:08:09+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 75)
Mothering Magazine: "I wanted my children two or three years apart. In accordance with that plan, my husband and I conceived our second baby a few months before our daughter turned 2. Every family that I knew had two or three children with this spacing, and every parenting book and article touted its logic. My dream for our family evaporated when our second daughter was stillborn..." Read more: http://bit.ly/mindinggapComments:
Katie Martin - First world problem for sure. Can we not be happy with what we have in the moment we have them? My children are 10 years apart and are playing in the living room right now. Anguishing over the "perfect age gap" is something that pretty much no other culture in the world worries about. Saddened by this article that our culture creates this issues of "perfection". The only thing that is perfect is the moment that you are in...when you are in it.
Deanna Nicole - My children are 10 yrs apart and play together. Society puts ideas in people's heads that are non-sense. I couldn't be happier with my wide age gap kids. It is true I always wanted another between my oldest being 7-10 though so I still got my ideal. I have experienced this kind of loss and do not let your unconventional to whatever ideas steal your joy of your present blessed situation.
Rachael Heilig - Loved this article! I had two boys back to back but then spent years battling secondary infertility & also our daughter was still born. As a result we did not get three kids in a row like planned, we had our rainbow daughter when our boys were 9 & 10. We also lost a daughter when our rainbow was 13 months. I always get comments about the big gap but its the way it was meant to be, we love it <3
Hollylu Finn-Connell - My brother is 18 years older than me, still my big bro and I'm his lil sis. We care about each other very much. Every kind if sibling relationship is special.
Rachael Heilig - I'm 33, my youngest brother is 10 months & there are 5 in between us :) love gaps!!!
Kristy Withrow Braunreiter - I have a 10.5 year old and will be giving birth to our 2nd son by August 1st. I will only let myself see the positives because our family wants this so bad! We are thrilled and grateful!
Tanja Sofia Krupa - 3-5 years before conception is minimum for epigenetic & gestational health...anything before 3 years & there is overall decline (features, systems health, epigenetic expression, etc) due to maternal malnutrition & lack of pregnancy recovery...
Elaine Dominguez Mañas - I have two boys 15 months apart. I get frustrated at times because they are at diffcult ages. 8 months and 23 months at the end of the month. I know had I ever had difficulty getting pregnant I would desperately want what I have been given. I try to keep that in mind!
Carrie Stahl Dickson - I can't read the whole thing (I think it crashed the server), but there is so much more lost than we can ever imagine when a child dies. I am grateful this mother is helping us see many of the other pieces to it. It is also an important lesson to so many of us who think we can plan every aspect of our lives and our families.... there is so much outside of our control. We should all remember that we can have our optimum idea of what we want, but it may not turn out that way. I am thankful that the fact that my family plan turned out differently than I envisioned wasn't because of a loss... I know things can be so much worse.
Erin Fair - We wouldn't change the 5 year gap between our two children for the world! Our loving, spirited, and sooo caring daughter is going into grade one in September and her adorable, chilled-out, baby brother is 8 months and he makes our family complete. They are perfectly matched siblings and it is completely okay that it took almost 5 years for them to meet...it was completely meant to be this way!! We can't plan everything in life and if society spent more time focusing on the positives of what we DO have (and not what we DON'T have), we would all be better off and at peace. Just because some siblings are born close in age doesn't necessarily mean they will be close friends one day. There is no doubt our children absolutely ADORE the ground each other walks on, inspite of their 5-year spread.
Rachael White Staab - I had my daughter and son 23 months apart. It was hard but got easier. When our son was just 3 and our daughter 5, we lost our son in a blink to a virus he couldn't fight. He literally never woke from the nap I put him down for. He would have been 6 this week. Now my daughter is almost 8 and in less than 3 years, now at nearly 43, we have a two year old and another due in Feb. My family is never the family I set out thinking I would have. My first two were the only two I was going to have just squeaking in over AMA. My point, through lots and lots of grief, is I have learned to appreciate every moment and let the future moments shape themselves. My daughter and son are 6 years apart. She will be 8.5 years older than the youngest. Hanging in to numbers is silly. It drives us away from what counts- our families.
Heather Bell - I think everyone should quit reading books and trying to do what people "THINK" is best, and let life happen. My sister and I are six years apart and best friends. Always have been. My husband and I have three boys ages 6, 3 and 1.....life is great :)
Marybeth Nelson - Very sad.
The space between children can make parenting easier-and even make for less sibling issues.
Lisa Teagan Kennedy - I had to stop at "my children might play together someday" part. I have an ONLY child. She is the only one I will ever have, she has no siblings. I grew up with a sister 22 months younger...We do NOT talk! Our mother's illness and eventual death turned my adored little sister into a greedy, out for everything, uncaring person. I grew up in a Catholic neighborhood with man large (8-10 kids) families. Some of the eldest were so resentful for basically having no childhood. They were constantly looking after younger siblings. There is no guarantee that your kids are going to get along. They could just as easily grow up hating one another. Children are a blessing no matter how spread apart they are. They are all individuals. I would be happy If I could have another child when my now three year old is five. It would mean I gave my daughter the gift of ALL my attention for five years before she had to share it. Sadly that won't happen, but I'm thrilled with my one & only!
Jodine Chase - Oh gosh. Life circumstances have me with many children separated by gaps as large as canyons. The tragedy of a still birth cannot be minimized. The resulting grief over the gap is something I wouldn't have thought of, but I am glad she shared. Grief is many-faceted.
Suzanne DeSelms - My kids are 8.5, 5 and 2m. We gapped on purpose. I LOVE IT. big helpers. I can sleep when the baby sleeps. They appreciate their baby sister instead of feeling jealous or usurped. This baby is our last child, our swan song. My family is perfect. <3
Angela Jacobs - I was told I could not have any children in March 2001 I had my first boy April 2002 I had a little girl in October of 2002 I had a car accident that took my son and left my daughter and I in hospital for recovery now happy and healthy I found out I was pregnant with another little boy in 2003 he is happy and healthy had a daughter in 2006 bad miscarage in 2009 and a beautiful little girl in 2011 so I am now blesses to raise 3 girls and 1 boy after divorce and miscarage and loss of my son I realize God Has A Reason For GOOD and BAD and SAD but it all works out in the end. Be blessed
Sonja Rice - Spacing... Control. As if we have it! My 4 yr old son and his younger twin brothers are 10.5 months apart in age. For a almost a month and a half each year they are all the same age. Did I plan it or want it like that, no... But I believe in Gods perfect timing. I was told in my previous marriage after 10 years of infertility 13 assisted fertility cycles that I had "old eggs" then had 2 failed adoption plans. God has a perfect plan. We need to surrender to it ;-)
Shauna Evans - Mine are 20 & 6 and 17 months I had 8 miscarriage s in between . I found it better with the age gap as I could give more one to one time but at the same time the gap wasnt planned .im blessed to have 3 amazing kids x
Janelle Weber Burnham - I as a child had a brother 6 yrs younger and a sister 11yrs younger. My mother couldn't have babies at whim. I had three children in four years and a fourth 3yrs later. I constantly watch them having a childhood that I didn't. They really do travel the world as a pack. But I what I have with my siblings I wouldn't give up. I remember them both as babies and really had a front row seat watching them grow up. They'll still be close, it might not be the knock down drag out fight closeness, but you can still create a bond between them. It's just a different kind of special.
Lisa Moore - Mine are 32, 30 got my tubes tied and 21..
The good Lord controls all... just sayin...
3 wonderfully made children.
- Where's the coolest place you've ever traveled with your kids? (Type: photo | Published: 2014-07-01T22:00:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 0)
Mothering Magazine: Where's the coolest place you've ever traveled with your kids?Comments:
Zoe Pierce - In the Sahara on a camel in a sling with Daddy!!
Karen Werner Brunelle - Home from the hospital when he was born!
Cheyenne Patterson - We have been on some amazing trips to far away places but some of the best trips are in the woods behind our house, like in the fall when we discovered how milk weed seeds can float on the wind, or in the early spring when we saw the first frogs wake up! Seeing anything new through their eyes!
Jennifer Laws Barker - Rio Brazil with a six month old. But we are headed to Venice next Thursday- now with my kids age 2,3, and 7 with stops in Athens, Ephesus, santorini, and Barcelona. We are nuts.
Gwen MacCaughey - My kids and I (I'm a single Mama of three boys - they were 8, 7 and 3 at the time) spent last Summer in very rural south-central France. My Dad lives there. It wasn't really all that cool or adventuresome, but we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves - and it was a perfect time of healing for a family recently split up. We will always love that time and place!
Natalie Arsenault McQuilton - My kids have been and lived everywhere. They spent four years living in Germany and going to German schools. They soak fluent German. They have traveled all over Europe, also lived in Portugal and Alaska. Two were born at home in Germany. Two in Alaska. They've even traveled into Canada. They have seen more of the world than their grandparents combined. And I hope it will keep getting better!!
Susan Boyer Teeple - I was a single parent; couldn't afford to take my kids on big trips. But every summer when they were small we'd load up the clunker, pop in a book on tape (yes, tape!) and drive a few hundred miles south to visit their grandparents on Topsail Island, NC.
Judy Lucht Decker - Deep woods tent camping in the forests of Pennsylvania 20 miles from nowhere. (Single mom...3 sons).
Pamela Ann Monk Renaud - Nova Scotia and PEI
Grace Kinney - Although I would love to, we haven't traveled out of the country yet. So far the coolest places with my oldest have been mountains in California and Colorado. Oh, and Vas Quez Rocks near where I lived as a child in CA. We live in Florida now. The baby hasn't been out of state yet and I'm itching for more travel. I love traveling.
Adrianna Griffith - Redwoods in California last year. Not a super exotic trip but we aren't the best off financially and it was a wonderful first time getaway as family. Truly relaxing :-)
Keri Nelson Pennell - Machu Picchu!!!!!
Emily Paskaruk - Grand Cayman Island!
Lucinda Irvine Avis - Man, I wish I could afford these trips! Love hearing about them!
Teah Hinds DiBenedetto - Scotland & Ireland
Deborah Ulrich Lugbauer - Bryce, Yellowstone, Zion, Sequoia, Yosemite, and Grand Canyon. Any National Park you can take the family to. Best money we ever spent.
Gwen Shafer - It's a toss up between Mongolia and Tibet. Both are at the top of my favorites list and were awesome for my three year old.
Sarah Hall - If I leave out "cool" and just think in terms of family enjoyment, it's Mackinac Island, for slowed down, relaxing, out-door togetherness, with beautiful scenery. Great times in Venice and London, and various U.S. cities--but busy times.
Jana Mogor-Lessard - Jungle in Honduras.
Stacey Clarke - Angkor Wat in Cambodia with our 6 week old son
Corrie Bubik - The rock-hewn churches of Lalibela, Ethiopia, with our 18 month old son and 5 months pregnant with our first daughter. Christmas 2010.
- When we had our second baby, I secretly feared we'd made a terrible mistake. My older son had j (Type: link | Published: 2014-06-26T23:00:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 344)
Mothering Magazine: When we had our second baby, I secretly feared we'd made a terrible mistake. My older son had just entered the notorious Twos. The new baby demanded constant attention and required maddeningly little sleep. I'd wanted my children close in age so they would be friends, but I often doubted we would su…Comments:
Christy Smith-Hallahan - Thank you. Due with #2 any day with a 2 year old in tow. I've been wondering if I'm insane.
Lindsay Autumn Murray - And a fourth... ;)
Brynn Asarch - Kristen Simpson-Chandler "One minute I’ll be thinking that my children are aliens bent on the destruction of mankind and all I want is to beam them back to their mother ship. Then suddenly they’ll trot down the hall with their arms around each other, singing and laughing together, and I marvel at the magic of their interactions."
Lindy Kiraly - Awww! Im 4 months pregnant with #2 and #1 is 3yrs. This totally made me cry, my husband and I are both only children so I must say I was a little unsure about giving our daughter a sibling! Thanks for reassuring me!
Lavinia Hunt - Go for it Katskin FryzB. 👍Hehe. Nice article. Though I must share that none of mine showed any signs of jealously just extreme love and joy at the new arrivals (all 2yrs apart). They still as young adults/teens protect/defend each other to the hilt. 😉😘
Iliana Cornejo - And a third... :)
Amelia Neely - A wonderful message, as a mom of a singleton it is nice to see everyone's joys and love of what life can bring you!
Angela Z Hortman - Oh my gosh! I am just not starting to feel like I can breathe again. Mine girls are 3.5 years and 17 months.
Moleshiwe Magana - Nnyana Madumo, this might be interesting to you as you make the transition. Love
Abbey Scott - I only have one, and I liked this so much!
Heather Gallia - We will be vending there this weekend. ..it's celtic fling a themed weekend. .. Lots of fun for kids
Ellite Keyworth - Sirdaddyjules Keyworth please read through this....
Yasmin Marchioro Silverio - Raquel Annunciação Oliveira
Fleur Pike - Kathryn Naomi :)
Ed Jasmin Aponte - Aww very sweet. My 3 girls are very spaced out 12 yrs between the oldest and middle and 8 yrs bet the middle and last.
Vanessa Marie - Aw! Cari your in for a real special treat ♡
Tania Ventura - I am due with baby #2 (daughter) very soon; any day now!!! My son is almost 21 months old. My husband and I wanted the children to be close in age. Thank you for your wonderful article!!!
Dena Boan Linton - Some of my best memories of my girls who are 15 months apart, were listening to them talk to each other and share secrets when they were small.
Nnyana Madumo - Thank you, Moleshiwe . I've been finding more and more articles like this. And seeing all you moms with kids that are inseparable makes it easier to imagine the future❤️
Janet Stanman Willard - Congrats Erica Elkin! When are you due?
Maureen Hayward - Morgan Grady-Smith
- Do you agree with this? (Type: link | Published: 2014-06-20T18:41:53+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 323)
Mothering Magazine: Do you agree with this?Comments:
Allison Minges - I LOVE Ina May, but this is a load of horse manure. It is the most mind blowing pain I've ever felt. If you go into it natural labor somehow deluding yourself into thinking contractions are just "strong sensations", you will be begging for drugs VERY quickly. Natural labor is beautiful and wonderful - but it is DAMN PAINFUL.
Christine Zuchora-Walske - Um...whatever. A mama can think of the pain however she wants, but it's still pain. Mamas do not need to hear yet another way in which we're doing it wrong. And what is more: many mamas will not be able to think about the "interesting sensations" of childbirth any other way, either because it's just too damn painful or because they just...can't. Frankly, I don't think there's any other way to think about 15 hours of unrelenting back labor than PAIN. I preferred to think of it as "pain with a purpose," myself. The excruciating nature of it made me want to get through it, not away from it.
Jen Woodrow - Agree 100%....It's not easy and every woman feels it her own way....but feeling that it is pain will only make you want to stop the pain...thus stopping progress...It must be felt, accepted, and your body will be strong enough to bear the job of birth.
Ashley Jayne Leonard - I wasn't really able to think anything but curse words
Clarice Allee - Agree completely. Society has trained women to think about labor in a completely wrong way.
Kara Wyandt - I think it's a great idea to not focus on the pain, but I don't care how nicely you think about it, it HURTS!
Stacy Lynn Brunscheen Hancock - Hypnobabies. We've been taught to fear birth. Fear increases pain. My third birth was my first unmedicated and the most comfortable because I put real effort into the hypnobabies program. It was intense, yes. But I was not afraid, and I didn't even think of it as painful afterwards. Just intense(3hrs).
Heather Scott - This is exactly what I did while in labor with my first because I had read Ina May Gaskins book and it says somewhere in it to consider each 'wave' to be a very strong and intense sensation that will soon pass. It helped SO much to 'rethink' the feeling of 'pain' and showed me how much is truly mind over matter, especially when hormones and determination are involved ;)
Monique Falucho - I've had an epidural for one of my labors and natural no drugs for two of my labors. Neither labor was more sacred or meaningful because they all resulted in my miraculous babies!
Karen Meints - Natural labor was very painful for me but it was manageable and I knew there would be an end.
Rachel Javellana Eades - Love this. :-) Birth is beautiful and empowering. Lying on your back will probably cause horrible pain. But allowing yourself to get in a comfortable position really alleviates the pain part!!! Homebirth ftw
Laura Jones-Katz - When I was pregnant, a colleague described labor as "hard work." I thought she was crazy. Now, I understand what she meant. Giving birth is an entirely different kind of pain - it's pain with a purpose.
Kathleen Travis Perin - She's high on something :-D "Interesting sensation" my ass :-D
Lizzy Spohr Russinko - This dismissive attitude of women's real experiences of pain (yes, PAIN) in labor and childbirth is (in my opinion) one of the reasons so many more women are experiencing traumatic births that make them feel like "failures". We buy into this one note narrative that if you're strong enough, supported enough, educated enough, empowered enough, that labor will be "uncomfortable hard work". When in fact for many women it is an excruciatingly painful experience that can last for days and ends up requiring intervention for the safety of mom and baby. This is an awesome article and podcast with Ina May addressing this very real issue: http://longestshortesttime.com/2014/04/16/podcast-28-the-missing-chapter-to-ina-mays-guide/comment-page-6/
Beverly White - As Ina May points out in her books, when you're not under intense stress from bright lights and several strangers checking on you, the experience can be quite different - less painful, and you can have more control over the feelings. I gave birth at home alone - with just my husband - with my two boys. I was able to do what I wanted and relax and deal with the pain iin my own way. It was beautiful.
Jackie Plante Collari - i had 3 babies without pain meds and each experience was totally different. There was certainly pain, but I wouldn't describe it like any other kind of pain that exists.... it's tolerable with support and knowing what the stages are and what to expect (I took a Bradley class which talked about the "doubting" stage that marks transition-true!),
so we were all prepared.. and the best part was that when the baby came, the pain was gone with no lasting side effects or drugs in my system.. I used a tub, a birth ball, squatting, anything it took to get through it, staying upright as much as possible to use gravity to my advantage.. I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way.
Katie Johnson - Love the idea of that... But it sure as heck was pain!! I asked my husband not to talk because I was in such a sensory overload with each contraction that sounds/touch/anything made me want to punch the person making it!!!
Wendy Ramallo - It's painful. Pure and simple. If you want to suffer through it - more power to you. Just remember a) you don't get a medal for it and b) your child does not care. Women have been having babies since the dawn of time. I think to some measure we all need to get over ourselves and concentrate more thought and energy on raising the children once they get here :) :)
Leah Susanna Nilson - What a fucking load of horse shit. I had over 30 hours of back labour and tripled up contractions, and by the time I was fully dialated, I was vomitting bile with every push.
Bullshit like this erases those of us with unusually difficult labours.
Suzanne DeSelms - I had a homebirth and am a doula. I had every intention of being a birthing goddess who moans and maybe roars and breathes her baby out. Instead, I shrieked and screamed so loudly my children had their hands over their ears and had to leave the room a few times. I wouldn't do anything differently, but it was really really painful. You can see me scream if you want.
Mcl Mcl - I get really tired of hearing about the "urge to push" as if it happens with every woman every time. I'm here to say I had ZERO urge to push and a baby sitting on my perineum for over an hour (with my first). I wish somebody had told me that that can happen -- and that it is normal in some cases. Had to push even though I had zero desire and no help from my body. It was rough -- but I did it!
- She’s curled up on the couch, waiting, a ball of baby and emotions. A scrambled pile of books (Type: link | Published: 2014-06-06T20:47:49+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 511)
Mothering Magazine: She’s curled up on the couch, waiting, a ball of baby and emotions. A scrambled pile of books on pregnancy, labor, baby names, breastfeeding…not one more word can be absorbed. The birth supplies are loaded in a laundry basket, ready for action. The freezer is filled with meals, the car seat installe…Comments:
Sarah Taylor - Cue ugly cry!! If my dates are correct I'm 43 weeks... I really needed this today.
Caitlin Santacroce - Really needed this today, longest I have carried a baby and I was starting to get down. How wonderful!!
Leslie Farmer Gomes - Christina Perez Byard thinking of you! Come on Easton!!!!
Jonelle Rust Hughes - How did you know? 6th baby, 39 weeks. Thank you!
Erin Brown - Wow-lovely description. I hope to reread this several times in the next few weeks. There is something so gratifying about acknowledging the space in between. Thanks for posting
Erin Bear Mitchell - This still brings tears to my eyes as it got me through...
Megan E Wheelehan - Irene Florez..so soon yet so much to come before!
Melissa Sutthiwan-Linse - Jennifer Polit & Melinda Walker: thought of you...
Lisa Taylor Cowdrey - Melinda Wright Lanier
Lou Anne Karavayev - Thank you Hayley Whittle Kaster!!
Jennifer Albeanu - Sabrina Martinez 💗 Hailey Mugica
Sarah Jelle Atondo - Danielle Miller-Kretschman
Rose Rita - Annie Novotny this is a good read, it makes the rounds once a year or so.
Tiffany Braswell - Stephanie Christine Bywater, thought of you!
Dee Mac Cormaic - Jen Kavanagh, Niki Kavanagh, Ciara Finn & to all the mothers I know; have a read & relate x
Laurie Ryan - Jill Fearman Shannon K
Tina Osmond-Snook - 40 weeks td and this is exactly where I'm at...in between. Happy one minute, crying the next; can't wait to have my baby, but scared to death of going in labor; can't wait to meet my baby, but don't want my pregnancy to end. You put this time in words that I couldn't!
Shannon DiMarco Carpenter - 3 out of my 4 have come "late". Family gets crazy, I get peaceful knowing it's so soon going to be over. #5 is on the way come October. I'm sure "late" again... This is just lovely.
Brandi Ryer King - Beautiful article! I have had 5 babies, and that time is truly my favorite! It's just me and my baby, I can just rest And look forward to meeting her/him, it's like everything else stops around me. It's a sweet time of anticipation and I'm so glad to finally read an article on it😊
Lynn Quijada - Angela Michelle Michelle 😘
Angela Cates Sharp - Jana !! I love seeing this in my feed! Woman of so much wisdom!
- I cannot adequately describe my shock when Ezra came, protesting vociferously, into the world. (Type: link | Published: 2014-06-09T22:28:35+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 387)
Mothering Magazine: I cannot adequately describe my shock when Ezra came, protesting vociferously, into the world. In desperation, I started reading everything I could find on the subjects of breastfeeding and calming crying babies.Comments:
Heather Kinder - I have raised 3 kids this way...my children were healthy babies and gained weight at every check up...breast feeding on demand is as nature intended after all. As adolescent children, They never once had a nightmare or asked to come into my bed since leaving was their choice on their time frame based on their own comfort. They are now strong independent and confident teens.
Shannon Synclare - let us not forget that nursing on demand and not having your own bed sucks sometimes. its fine to promote attachment parenting, but please dont leave out that its hard and that babies still cry anyway
Michele Dryden Nickum - All babies are different and all our situations are different and all we do is what works best for us along the way and not worry about what everyone else thinks. There is no wrong or right way only the right way that works for each baby and family.
Shila Patterson Wright - Best advice to give any mother...listen to your instincts. Not your inlaws, pediatricians, or the rest of society. As a mother who has come through it, my mantra used to be,"they won't always need me this much." And they don't.
Shantal Sequeira - Sometimes my baby isn't even hungry, he just wants the breast near him.. I'm learning.
Heather Howsmon - When my baby was born, her pediatrician actually recommended only feeding her for 10 to 20 mins every 2-3 hours. "Anything else is just snacking." I feed her on demand. Always have, always will. When I'm hungry, I eat when I want and as long as I want, and sometimes I just want a snack. Why can't she eat in the same manner? The world health organization recommends breastfeeding on demand to help build and maintain your milk supply. Sometimes she may just want the comfort. This world can be big and scary for a little baby. sometimes they just want the comfort of being in their mommas arms away from everything. I know some people think I feed my daughter "too much." I don't really care about the opinions of others. I do what I think is best for my baby.
NickandRachel Biagini - Love this article! Every child is different, every situation is different.. The key is to feed on demand and do whatever it takes during those early days and it will all come together..it's hard work but it pays off
Kim Helm Kevin Hoffman - seven babies breastfed on demand, six baby led weaning, co slept, practiced baby wearing. definitely have grown into very independent and strong minded adult children!!! <3
Thia Sindi Jackson Tsuruta - "Thank you" to all the women breastfeeding "on demand". I LOVE you and what you are doing for the sake of a better life on Earth now, for all of us.
Thia Sindi Jackson Tsuruta - Having all four children sleeping together with me and their father... it worked. (and hubby and I got creative for lovemaking). If you could see our children now~ they are amazing and seriously beautiful young adults. I know how we respected their cries helped. I totally believe the family bed and nursing until they didn't need it anymore has helped them become the gorgeous people they are.
Sylvinha Borges - My Ezra's name is Lucca, and I'm doing exactly as described in this article, as it's the only thing that works (despite protests of family members and friends who have either not experienced a demanding baby, or simply don't believe in doing things this way, no matter what). At times it feels I'm all alone in my choices. But then I read articles like this one and realize I'm one of many mothers who are mothering intensely as much as I am. And whom have learned to embrace and enjoy this journey with all their might. There have been trying times, I will not lie. But now that he's ten months old and we "have learned to speak the same language" -- so to speak -- I would not change it for the world. And I'm sure I will miss these times of on demand breastfeeding all throughout the day and night and co-sleeping when these phases pass. All the more reason to enjoy them as much as possible now! Thanks for sharing, mama ! ❤️
Sarah Cline Blake - Love this! Just wish that others don't have to make you feel bad for doing what is right for your family and baby. I really struggle with feeling guilty when others judge me, especially when their babies are laid back and take easily to mainstream parenting strategies. I try to be non judgmental of others parenting practices, but often don't find the same to be true in reverse.
Angie Krafft - I nurse/d on demand with my first and second. My first is a dream sleeper. My second is not. Babies are different. My second still cries like crazy sometimes no matter what I do.
Shannon Piper - I really identify with this article. I am currently cosleeping with my almost 3 yr. old. It was not my plan. Her 4 older brothers all woke during the night to nurse but would willingly return to their cribs. She is my "fussy baby", and now fussy kid. She sleeps best in my bed, which means I sleep best, too. It wasn't the plan, but it's what's working for us right now. It certainly beats both of us being tired and cranky every morning.
Juscinta Heuss - thats me and my girl to a t. it was tiring and i had no social life but thats the way i wanted to raise my baby girl. different strokes for different folks :-) very interesting when your inlaws and parents are from the previous generation.....
Laura Lee Rivers - Very good article. When it comes to child rearing, there definitely isn't a one size fits all approach. Every family is different and as life teaches us, every person inside the family is different. Support and encourage one another!
Ashley Sexton - I loved reading this article. Being a new mom and a single mom I had to trust my instincts to do what was best for my son Ari. I nursed him on demand from day one even though I was told I didn't have to and to give him a pacifier instead of feeding him all the time. I never gave him a pacifier just fed him when he was hungry and/or needed comforted. Those were my mommy duties! I also, woke to his ever need and still do. Which his every need was 6-10 times a night! I was a zombie for the first 10 months! But I moved him into my bed from his crib at 9 months and within a couple weeks he was sleeping through the night. And still does right by my side. All I knows is....nothing better than having my baby next to me! So glad I listened to my heart and instincts when others tried to tell me not to :)
Thanks for the great article!
Naomi Saari Schukert - Fabulous article!! I have always said that as parents, we need to use a variety of resources to help us make our child-rearing decisions. I have used the 4 quarter method with any decision I am unsure of. The information I use to make the decision consists of: 25% what my excellent pediatrician recommends, 25% of my own research (books and articles written by experts in the field), 25% from the wisdom passed on from other mothers and the rich history of expertise they have to share, and 25% of my own instinct. Those percentages have changed slightly over the years. As my wisdom and knowledge in a subject grew, my instincts took much greater precedent. Congratulations to this amazing mom!
Nicole Tebbe - Love this. We co-sleep with both our kids from birth. Everyone gets lots of sleep and we are a close knit foamy with super confident kids:)
Jessica Hickman Schneider - I hope everyone does what works for them. I support moms & families whatever choices they make.
Kate Elizabeth Brown - I love this article so much!
- Question: If you could share ONLY 5 words of advice (no more, no less) with a brand new parent, (Type: photo | Published: 2014-06-12T17:00:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 109)
Mothering Magazine: Question: If you could share ONLY 5 words of advice (no more, no less) with a brand new parent, what would they be? Post your responses and we'll share them on Mothering.com.Comments:
Stephanie Winslett Trogdon - Days are long. Years short.
Lindsay Logsdon - Trust yourself and your baby.
Kara Arsenault - Keep breastfeeding- it's worth it!
Mandy Bealer - Don't listen to anyone else. ;)
Christy Miskelly - Trust your instincts. They're right.
Heather Schweich - You can't spoil a newborn
Kristyn Leftridge - cosleep and breastfeed on demand.
Kelly Blando Cheung - Soak blow out clothes promptly!
Jessica Deloney - Say no to infant circumcision.
Jamie Treworgy - Sleep when the baby sleeps 💤
Jess Raee - Attachment parenting is worth it.
Julie Johnson - Don't compare yourself to others.
Lissette Gomez - A Messy House, is okay
Becky Gannon - Perfection is impossible and unnecessary.
Keri Rose Cameron - Hold them while you can.
Laura Kasinskaite - Relax. Nothing is under control.
Michelle King Cohen - Your instincts trump expert advice.
Amber Jensen - This too shall pass...quickly.
Lauren Johnson - Intact, breastfeed, babywear, love, trust
Allison Walbridge - Don't worry about the house.
Jennifer Jackson - hold them when they cry.
- Here’s the scene: There’s a baby. She’s crying. Hard. She’s in a stroller facing outwar (Type: link | Published: 2014-06-13T19:17:14+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 133)
Mothering Magazine: Here’s the scene: There’s a baby. She’s crying. Hard. She’s in a stroller facing outward and her mother is pushing her. She is crying so hard her nose is running, her cheeks are flushed and tears are streaming from her eyes. She looks sick. Sad. Anything but consoled. And her mother, still pushing h…Comments:
Rosie Wiklund - I left the house with my colicy child. Usually in a carrier. But sometimes she would push against me endlessly and I would love her to a stroller. And people would judge. And croon to her. Oh what do you need? Does mommy need to change you? No, some babies cry A LOT and sometimes their parents need to go out and do normal parent things. When you've used up your entire parent tool kit, go get some air. And feel free to roll right past anyone who thinks they've got you guys figured out. Unless they're volunteering postpartum doula hours.
Kate Dewey - Kudos to that mom for being able to spend a minute filling her own cup before she tend to her baby. So many bad judgement calls were made here... Don't breathe your love onto my baby, you weirdo. Sincerely, a loving mother of 4 kids, hippie, crunchy, doula, have a placenta in my dehydrator as I type and mom who has let my babies cry.
Renee Kent - This author is way too full of herself. I understand the empathy and maybe she had some cosmic "breathing love" moment with the child as her experience but this reeks of self righteousness and surely the mom sensed this and understandably passed right on by. It would have been nicer to make an empathetic connection with the mom as well as the child if she actually wanted to be helpful. My child would have silenced if a stranger came and interrupted a tantrum too because it's awkward and maybe even startling. Not because of some empathetic soul connection with them. Please.
Rachael Brandon Larimore - There's a lot of smug on the author's part here. Maybe she made the right call, I dunno. I don't like seeing people ignore their kids' needs. But she didn't know the background, she doesn't know what went on the entire day before. Maybe the mom had been cooped up for a week with a sick kid, or had been dealing with some kind of trauma, and this was her first trip out of the house. Or maybe she was just selfish. But the piece is overwritten.
Dorina C Albion - this happens a lot, and we're all aware of it, bet once or twice you've done it too. I'm going to be honest and say I've been on a bus with my fussy baby and sure it sucks but there's nothing a parent can do if the child has shit it's self and really you're stuck waiting for your stop to arrive. please, lets learn to be less judgmental and just enjoy being a mom.
Kathleen Lester - And sometimes you've done all the soothing you can and you just need to stop. Sometimes continuing to try to engage an enraged infant or toddler keeps them going. They know that you are there, they know they are loved and sometimes there is just not a thing you can do but let them have their cry. And you have to live your life while that happens. Not that I don't get super tense when I see another mom appearing to ignore her kiddo, I think as parents, and moms especially, those cries just set off that whole protective feeling in us. That's also natural. But you don't engage with a child while their parent is there before you engage with them. You don't know the situation. You don't know what's going on. When you walk up and do something like this author does, you're sending a clear message of judgement. I've been in a similar situation. I smiled at the mom and said something about knowing how it was. She was *relieved*. Someone saw and understood and didn't *judge*. And the baby did stop crying, to watch the conversation, and I could talk to the baby too. I've been on both sides. And I'm a parent who *does* communicate with my kids, but if they are screaming, what do you do? Reasoning and talking lovingly only goes so far. And you can't just hide away until your children are old enough to not scream or have tantrums or cry or be colicky.
Jessica Ann Lee - If a stranger didn't touch my baby but managed to still her inconsolable cries for even a few minutes during a shopping trip, I would most likely welcome the relief and thank her. It takes a village to raise a child. The author states that she knows how hard it is sometimes to be a mother.
Karen Kennedy - sometimes babies cry - but all babies cry when there is something WRONG. Figure out what it is. Whatever it is, is far more important than you spending a leisurely day looking at clothes. Get real, people - sometimes "filling your cup" is just a way to be selfish. No way would I ignore a hysterical child in favor of non-emergency shopping. I might not be able to fix the problem but I sure can be there with her in her distress.
Samantha Apollo - This is ridiculous. Sometimes babies cry. Who knows what the situation or why but the child was not being abused. Not your place to intrude on her life with your notions of parenting.
Maria Heredia - You are all missing the point. This child was being ignored, because when she gave her attention the child calmed down. To let a child scream without even acknowledging them or at the very least wipe their nose, is neglectful. A lot of us know the difference between a tantrum and when a child needs attention. In this situation it is obvious that the child needed attention, so why be so mean and instead praise her for her courage. Maybe next time the mother will think twice before ignoring her child in public.
Jessica Ann Lee - I don't understand why the mom/friend couldn't at least occasionally acknowledge the child is crying. I understand they can't fix it maybe, but I have often talked to my daughter while she's inconsolable. Things like, "I hear you honey, I wish I knew how to help you..." I mean I could even continue shopping but still acknowledge her feelings
Rachel Neufeld - This lady knew NOTHING about the situation or the child. She judged, she didn't help anyone. All she did was make the mom more frustrated and angry. My kids have had screaming temper tantrums over ridiculous things, if a stranger came over and talked to them you bet they would stop crying, not because love was being breathed on them (what does that even mean?!?) but because it would be weird, strange, awkward, scary. Maybe the child has a sensory issue and touching or holding them makes it worse. Maybe the mom was trying to buy a dress for an important occasion they needed to attend. A stranger walking by knows nothing of her and her situation. And why is everybody afraid of crying? It's an emotion, crying will not hurt you. The child was not being abused or neglected, she was with her mom and being cared for while having a moment in a safe place. Crying in a stroller (safe place, cannot be hurt there) with mom close by is not the end of the world.
Alitha D'Ottavio - I have never crossed into another mama's space like this author did, but I have heard the cries of an unacknowledged child and since becoming a mother, my heart aches for them in a way I never expected it would.
Heather K Peet - Whoa. She needs to check herself. Wow. Unbelievable.
Anne Tegtmeier - "I cannot believe I am saying this. I am crossing the line of another mother’s space. I am in her territory. And I should not be."
You're right. You shouldn't. And MAJOR kudos to the mom for calmly leaving you in silence rather than chewing you out royally - not that I think that would be best, but it would certainly be understandable.
Hope you're enjoying feeling like a superior, more evolved being, though!
April Hunt - I think this is wonderful. I have 3 children and sometimes no matter what and how good they are they just have a bad day. And it snowballs. And I get frazzled. And sometimes someone will stop and talk to them. Say hi. Compliment their very unmatching dressed theirselves outfits (they think they are fashion superstars of course). And they stop crying. Or whining. It's like magic. I noticed this when I worked in retail. No judgement towards other mothers. Sometimes kids have bad days too. So I say go for it. But make sure you have limits. No touching, talk to the kid, say hi to mom, compliment her and her kiddo, and leave. Might make the day a little better for both of them.
Karen Baker - How old was the baby? Many 9 or 10 month old babies are fully capable of pitching a fit of temper not unlike a toddler's. Maybe the little girl was having a fit because she couldn't chew the tags off all the new clothes they passed, was screaming in anger, and her mother and her aunt had already tried distraction, comfort, humor, whatever, but the little girl still just wanted to vent her frustration. Sometimes it's ok to let a child with some resources of her own sort out her own stuff for a few minutes. In fact, I think we do our kids a favor when we give them an age-appropriate amount of space to figure out how to be responsible for their own feelings and reactions.
Cynthia Lauritsen - If my baby was inconsolably crying and a stranger helped, even for a moment, I would be grateful. I wouldn't assume that she was judging me but that she was just trying to help.
Sarah Quinn - I don't think she crossed the line. I've had other women coo at my baby when I was struggling. I appreciated any seconds he could be calmed. I've read picture books to babies in line in front of me, never got even a weird look. We are so territorial these days, what's wrong with the genuine help of another mother? For whatever reason, that baby was being ignored.
Erica Labowitz Conaron - This angered me especially with the author being a parent herself. She should realize how hurtful it is to judge a situation without knowing what is going on. My daughter had awful colic the first 4 months of her life, and would scream all day and night. Yes, if I took her out, she would scream, and yes, I would ignore her. Because if stayed in the house and listened to her scream all the time it would drive me insane. You never know what is going on, and it is irresponsible and invasive to step in.
April Fowler - I think this is great. Why do we get so freaking offended when another mama tries to help us out? Seriously. She didn't touch the kid. Take her away. Pick her up. Etc. She just asked her what was wrong...the baby stopped crying. And the mom was obviously embarrassed so she left. Maybe that mom got a reality check? Who knows. But that baby needed that attention and the mother wasn't acknowledging it. Toddler's cry for lots of reasons. My daughter cries because the wind was blowing and touched her face. Or the sun is in her eyes. Or she didn't want the pink cup. Babies though...most of the time its for a darn good reason!!
- Yep! More humor at: http://bit.ly/mom_humor (Type: photo | Published: 2014-06-17T22:30:00+0000 | Likes: 0 | Shares: 1175)
Mothering Magazine: Yep! More humor at: http://bit.ly/mom_humorComments:
Heather Means - Why stop at 20????
Rebecca Christo - Hahaha Michael Christo. I won't be stopping at 20, though ...
Amy Irene Cole-Melanson - And even longer than that!!! 😊
Becky Ochsner Rosinbum - more like 60!!!!
Kat Ituarte - You better believe it! and I'm gng to kiss them in their 60's!
Christine Rose - And beyond, thankyouverymuch!
John D White Jr - I would give almost anything if she were still here and she could kiss me on the state capital steps if she wanted to.
Ruth McGarrah - How about until the day I die. It didn't matter if they're 80. I will still kiss my babies in public.
Rhian Jack - I'm 33 and still enjoy smoochie boochies with my mama. On the lips every time!
Jewels Carrasco-Davis - Paula Carrasco....thought of you when I read this. We love you Lizzy Adamson
Amanda Promnitz - YEP!!! Angie Polizzi Fagala
Laurie Pearce Price - Yes! Elisha Pearce-Brown.
Larisa Levin - Yep,that's right :)) even after 20 :P
Jill Nicholas - would you really want it any other way???
Noel Trudell - I'm going to be that kind of dad. Ha
Lisa Kaplowitz-Martinson - Aubrey Martinson no forever!
Vanesa Borge Trejo - John D White Jr that made me tear up. So sweet ❤
Norma Arciaga - 22 & Still going !
Mary Bourne - screw that always and hug the stuffing out of u too lol
Pauline Peat - Yup!!!! Deal was it!!x
Roxanne Garcia - Yep.....somethings don't change