Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th
- The Problem with Women... is Men - Official FB Page
Category: Author Likes: 965668 Talking About: 230956
- The Problem with Women... is Men: Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th
Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in the negative pattern of being treated badly, thinking that poor treatment is either: 1) Exciting; 2) The way it is; or 3) it's very familiar/comfortable. Most women like this don't believe they are worthy of a Nice Guy... and so the manifest what they DO think they are worth. Bottom line: The right guy can try and try... but if she can't hear him or see him as desirable (because he is calm and without drama)... she will pass him up every time. These women need to reframe their senses of self-worth and they will reframe their view on the type relationship they actually want and deserve.
(Type: status | Published: 2014-01-04T23:06:19+0000)
[bettina hernandez] - I dislike when people say women choose the wrong guy because they have low self esteem, or llike the abuse or drama. NO, the wrong guys tend to say all the right things while the nice guy takes to long to make his move.
[jillian king] - how can women differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys, when all guys pass themselves off as good when u meet them..the true colors show themselves later on, but never in the beginning.
[xtina ceriddwynn] - Im a little tired of everything always coming back to the woman....as if its ALL her decision. Like every man wants her and she chooses badly. That is BS. A woman can't choose a nice guy IF HE DOESNT WANT HER. I agree there's lots of women out there who choose poorly but let's not lump ALL women into that!! If the so-called "nice guy" has "friend-zoned" her while he chases after the twit in the miniskirt, there isnt much she can do about it. Let's face it....men are the same way. They often choose the "bad girl" as well and will ignore a wonderful woman because she isn't "sexy" enough or is too old, or had kids, or doesn't look good hanging off his arm. IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE WOMAN!
[danielle rougeau] - I'm always amused by those who say "good guys are boring" or "so & so is boring". Perhaps, the problem is you're looking for all the wrong things in a relationship and you're expecting a man to give you what you won't give yourself first. If you're expecting a man to "entertain" you then, the problem isn't the man but, the fact that you need to get your own life! Too many people get into relationships expecting the other person to love & value them when they don't love and value themselves on a deeper level. When they haven't fallen in love with their own life first and taken responsibility for their own needs by filling their own love bucket with a healthy self love. Yes, some people can be deceptive and make themselves into someone they aren't but, if you've taken the time to know yourself and listen to your inner voice and develop healthy boundaries then you will be able to spot this type of person quit quickly and move on before you invest your heart. It also might not be a bad idea to listen to your inner voice before you hop in the sack and then wonder why it becomes hard to sort out your lusty feelings from the truth you already know. Be willing to wait for the right person by getting comfortable with being with yourself first. Then it will be easier to judge if the next one is right for you or not. Just my two cents.
[tinisha hall] - Enough!!!! If I hear this one more time I'm going to scream. Women "choose" horrible ppl bc horrible ppl "choose" to lie to them. It's not about being stuck in the negative patterns or being comfortable with being treated poorly...it all boils down to believing a person is who they verbally present themselves to be.
When ur not a liar, a cheat, or a thief u tend to believe that ppl should operate the way that u do. Unfortunately, they don't and u'll wear the scars on ur heart as proof.
[amy ruth spencer] - sometimes the physical attraction/connection is so strong in the beginning that it's too late when u see the bad! your heart is already taken! :(
[rebekah anlage] - And sometimes we meet the narcissistic psycopath that sweeps us off our feet just to break our hearts...how easy for you to say we "choose" wrong when the predator is just looking for his next feast.
[nina bodle] - The long & short of this... I don't believe there are enough good men compared to the bad...law of averages women will meet rats...can't be avoided!!
[tiffany rae] - So damn true. Although when I finally realised I deserved better, the wrong guy disguised themselves as a kind hearted 'right guy' fooling a good person.... however they can only keep the act up for so long.
I refuse to settle for less than I deserve.
[henrie hilleren jorgensen] - Good guys are often masked sociopaths. Unreal how many seemingly functional men are very damaged goods once you get up close and personal. Married to a medical doctor who was a functional alcoholic, secret pot smoker and cocaine user, escalating over time. He was also into anal sex which I refuse and find horrific. Porn was a big deal for him, I was only 19 and hated it. Everyone thought him a godlike human being. I loved him too, but he was damaged inside. I left the marriage. Another man in my life was a successful business man, admired by many for his outgoing, engaging and charming style - he broke up with me when I got pregnant with his child and refused to abort her. He revealed an incredibly nasty side of him hating me for not obeying orders and "forcing him" to pay child support for "that lump of slime" that was growing inside of me. He at the time was a very admired citizen in the community. I left him upon first blasphemy he spat in my face when I was 3 months pregnant, never to return. Today he sits in his basement stuck in deep depression because he lost a bulk of money in the financial crisis. Another man in my life I loved deeply and felt was my soulmate, he was incredible for 1 1/2 years and trusted him, and he was wonderful to my infant daughter at the time. But after a couple of years he turned cold, demanded sex but told me love was not part of the deal. I let him go, as he was too coward and weak to break with me, and he left the breaking up to me, he just made himself increasingly more disrespectful - hoping I would disappear. I did, without drama, just quietly with my small child. He was also a very admired business man, the type especially older women adore and consider a perfect son in law type. Well he was obsessed with material wealth and died last year of a heart attack due to workaholic stress, only 43 years old. Never married, no children, only a 40 year old Trust Fund babe but heartbroken fiancé he strung along on empty promises. The last guy in my life was also a medical doctor, who pretended he was separated, but in truth he was married and had cheated on his wife for 15 years. His job allowed him to travel the globe comfortably, and he juggled 5 different girlfriends or sex friends over several continent, all of them certain that he was honest and loyal to them. He was in touch constantly with me, came to visit, bought expensive jewelry and silly souvenirs. The truth hits you like a ton of bricks. I dropped him cold. I got angry. No more. Men are only welcome at a distance. I trust no man ever again on intimate levels. Only a true heart christian, and those a almost impossible to find in my part of Europe. Men in Europe hate God or the principle of the gospel. Many, 1000000 of women worldwide share similar, for sure far far worse life experience with men than me. I just wanted to share a sampler of how I trusted seemingly "good guys" all very well recommend by people around them who considered them absolutely great men. But what was the truth? one shallow, masked, abusive, defunct and dishonest non-character after another. And me? I have kicked everyone of them to the curb. I am 45 years old, feeling great, independent, educated, very healthy life style, never abusing any substances or medicine. Got a great network of friends and family. My child is 12 and fantastic. So my life is a success by my own estimation. But half of my life was spent in misery absorbing and then healing from the abuse men have caused me, and indirectly - my innocent daughter, something I never forgive. Lastly, I have formed lasting friendships with women also abused by the same men I was abused by. Women I connect with often, and we heal and help each other, all the while the men are sinking ships one by one by own self-inflicted evil life style and choices. What was my stake in this? All I wanted was a loving and kind family man with good morals and values, one who had an honest job or skill. Obviously too much to ask for from the male gender. This becomes a problem as I believe 85% of the women on this planet want the qualities in a man I want too, but we are told we are asking for "perfection" and that is impossible to find in a man. So a good decent guy is like asking for a unicorn in our midst. We are told to slack our quality and values to suit the dismal male levels of standard. Many guys insist they are "nice guys", but anyone claiming that is a red flag. A truly great guy never claims he is so or a "nice guy". I know several great guys and they are humble about it, and insist they always can improve. Just adding and subtracting here, and science says the numbers are at odds.
[angie berry] - I CONSTANTLY pick the bad boys. And they CONSTANTLY eff me over. At this point, I'm done dating in general. After making every dating disaster choice (bad boys & nice guys) in the past year since my "bad boy" ex husbands affair, I've had enough! Good luck out there ladies...
[caitlin taylah winzar] - When a woman is only used for sex. HER MIND WILL BE
ALTERED and will constantly think she is not worthy of a relationship since men only think about one thing as it's their dicks.
Regardless if he is a nice guy or not
Speaking from personal experience
[sharon e. arsego] - How about nice guys try to reform bad women as much as nice women try to reform bad guys? Stop trying to make a hoe into a housewife and a thug into a husband. And bad boys know the talk and the actions but it's not sustainable as it goes against their nature so we need to give it time to show itself.
[eldar crnogorcevic] - so many ways to tell if a guy is a jerk or hiding behind his words. ask him about his ex's, try to ask his friends (if he has any..) don't get all your content and information from the guy you're confused about, it's obvious he'll give you false information.
[michelle mcgavigan] - Im assuming most abusive or possesive etc guys dont show you their true colours though at first. Thats the worst part, they put on the nice guy front and their true colours start showing over years. So thats the question, even though you dont tolerate it once you start seeing the red flags but how are you to know they are going to turn out to be one of those assholes and not waste two years or more.
[raven keepthatishovathere evans] - I Kind Of Disagree With This, SOME PEOPLE HIDE WHO THEY ARE!
[madison grasso] - There's more to love and happiness than just being with a "nice guy". And there's a difference between being a nice person and a pushover. The reason nice guys finish last is majority of them have no confidence and are incapable of making a decision "I want to do what makes you happy" or "you choose". Of coarse this is only through my own experience. And I find it so frustrating. Nobody walking this earth is perfect and we accept the love we think we deserve. I've had enough bad boys in my life and am looking for a nice guy but are there any that know their own self worth and aren't looking to be walked all over by women?
[fawn annoplee rose] - I think most women do not go after or want bad men. The bigger problem is men who are not real with themselves or others and put on a convincing front long enough for the woman to develop feelings. Its sad human kind has such little regard for others. Sometimes words fail me I can only SMH :(
[dawn deines] - By the same token I have watched really nice guys I would love to date fall for friends that treat them like crap. So it goes both ways......
[julia kemp] - and then u think u are with a nice guy and he turns out to be a real ass everything isnt always what it seems.
[jenny burton] - The truth is if any man is remotely good looking he won't act nice cos he knows he can get away with it and still pull whoever, he doesn't need to be nice, nice men are nice cos they are usually ugly or plain at least, I'm not shallow either. It's just the truth.
[joshua lochan] - its a human error - since men also make the same mistake when the choose females
[mandi samara] - "but if she can't hear him or see him as desirable (because he is calm and without drama)" - I have a pretty good history of choosing 'bad boys' and it was never because I thought the good guys were too calm and without drama. For me, it was because 1. It was comfortable. I fit in with these guys because I saw myself at their level. Pretty hard for these guys to be judgmental or opinionated when they're just as f*cked up as I am, or worse. 2. The 'good guy' that WANTED me to be attracted to him was whiny, clingy, jealous, and unattractive. I had a guy friend that I continuously had to tell, "look, we're just friends." He was a great friend, but I was NEVER attracted to him. Sometimes, there just isn't anything there. He wouldn't let anyone else near me, he was whiny, and he wouldn't let it go. So I had to dump our friendship. Pretty sure he complained about being 'friend zoned' afterword too... and 3. Most 'good guys' aren't really that smooth, where as bad boys typically have had me melting in his hand. No one WANTS to be treated badly. It's just the smooth talkers are REALLY good at what they do. They catch our attention, they draw us in, get us addicted, and then they behave badly.. and I'm left wondering wtf happened. Seriously.
[nina milova] - BS, all guys treat women nice in the beginning, when she is not interested and he is trying to conquer her. But once she gives in and falls in love he turns around 100% and starts treating her poorly, because he does not want to committ. A woman once she falls for a guy can not change that fast, so she tolerates poor treatment for a while, being under the influence of the good impression he made at the beginning. It is a myth that if she had only chosen the right guy her life would be so different and trouble free. Any other guy would be exactly the same; charming and sweet at the beginning, when he is chasing her, but spoiled and unbearable after a while, when a new woman enters his sight. The only solution is to constantly rotate guys, be always ready to break up as soon as he misbehaves and always keep a pool of interested candidates as a reserve. You can't allow yourself to fall in love or get too comfortable. Unfortunately this is the reverse side of the sweet freedom that we enjoy. We have to always be on the market, or not too far from it, and anything that was supposed to be constant can change at any time.
[jon dowling] - A question I usually ask a women on a date: would you know the right man for you if he were standing before you. Must don't because they don't even know themselves .Do the hard work from the inside out and the rest will follow .
[david bueler] - It's just like in the movie 'Forest Gump.' You have a man, who may not be the brightest bulb, but he's a good guy who is constantly pursuing his childhood crush, Jennea. Jennea however constantly goes off with loser boyfriends who treat her like shit and get's her hooked on drugs. Every time Forest meets her/ rescues her, she just goes off with some other bum that will treat her like crap and help fulfill her habit. There are quite a few women like this. They don't know a good thing when it's right in front of them.
[nina bodle] - If women focused more on themselves & what they want they would pick better! Women need put THEMSELVES FIRST.
[chez griffin] - know the feeling well.....that's why I am chasing my dream for me n not bothering bout guys.....a lot are just Drop kicks......if a nice guys ventures in my path...all n good.....but my path isn't looking for him anymore
[mcabee pat] - your right in the beginning they are so different its when you marry them they seem to change then ,,not same person you married once they have you and this is why so many relationships don't last ,,
[laura mckenzie] - The nice guy is usually a guy who has played doormat and can be overly ingratiating, i dont want a nice guy or a bad guy, i want the right guy for me, attractive( to me) funny confident but not cocky in touh with his emotions but not emotional, strong and masculine with a gentle edge, someone who shows me and tells ne they love me but will tell me to pull my head in when im being ott lol, ive had both nice and bad guys but neither was RIGHT the right guy will be the right guy, but dont settle for less
[lisa jones-mahoney] - Men do it too they go for the one who they think is the prettiest instead of the one with the good heart.
[kari ramirez] - Fact! Fact! Learning to love myself and i can feel a change in me its wonderful(:
[diane owers] - When you finally believe you have finally found a good man and then you find out he's not as great as you thought,. And he tries to make it all your fault it doesn't work..
[martina castigo] - Look I don't think their any good guys in this world come on guys prove me wrong good guys inbox me now!
[samantha herselman] - Yes you so right about that men always want to control us and make us feel second best because they are insecure that's why they treat you bad. A real man would look up to his wife with love and respect
[april ackley] - What if the right guy turns into the wrong one? Then it is not the womans fault because she did not know he would turn out that way.
[strong heart] - ive finally done it,,ive found a nice quite guy who loves me for me..all the bad in me aswell..well not bad but the excess baggage so to speak..now we have been together for near 3 years..I love him so much n I am lucky to have him love me xx
[sandra landeros] - Thats not always the case....because I know Im worthy and good enough. Why is that the bad guys pretend to be a nice good guy when they are not.
[tracy m. olkwitz] - Reading this thread hurts my eyeballs. Ladies, ladies, ladies... men like Charles & Greg Behrendt not only GET it but they're trying to reform their gender while helping US. If you don't agree with what Charles said, you might want to start with you & ask yourself, "WHY do I not agree with this?" It's most likely because the truth hurts. Quit blaming others for your lack of self accountability. We all want the person who hurts us to be accountable for their behavior. So what makes us so special to not be accountable for our own when it comes to how we treat OURSELVES?
[satoshi payne] - I'm actually with the women who question your assessment on this one. I don't think women should stop going after what they truly desire by instead going after someone that they don't have chemistry with but are a sure thing.
I think the better suggestion would be to simply pace yourself; don't get too emotionally invested too quickly.
[chelsie britton] - From the things I've been through and behaviors I've seen, I Don't think there's such thing as an exciting and attractive, yet considerate, safe, dependable breed of male left out there anymore...pick a side I guess: /
[marlies bartels] - Partially correct. I have no issue with self-worth. My isue is TRUST. As in "Trust a jerk and you get screwed." Not becasue you have low self-esteem, but, rather, you EXPECT and TRUST that a man is who and what he says he is. That is NOT my problem. That is the problem of the lying, scheming SOBs that run this game. Why the hell is it my issue that people think it's okay to scam, lie and cheat? It is NOT my problem. It is THEIRS for being without moral character!!If I get scammed becasue I BELIEVE someone, why is it my FAULT for trusting? I am NOT talking about blind trust. I am not taking about
[melinda kaye] - Im done with molding boys into men. Not a fun time.
[royce a wallman] - It's called settling...I've done that all my life....not any more ...I won't settle for mr right now ...it's either mr right of not at all...
[diane owers] - Maggie Lugo, I really hope you have found your life mate already. If you feel every person with a degree should only be with another person who also has a degree GOD help the world. That doesn't make a man or woman who they are inside and how their heart loves.You are SO WRONG on that level!!!!
[kathy mcinerney] - And what about the guys who do act/behave so wonderful for just a short time then run away... afraid really.. grow up... those are usually the ones I find..
[rachel brennan] - Or because it's what they think they deserve or have that 'click' with losers.
[gracie michelle archbell] - OMG! SO TRUE! It took me 2 years being single before I realized my self worth! Now I love myself and expect a man to treat me with the respect I deserve!!!
[kathryn brown] - and vice versa!!! why do guys miss the amazing ladies who are not models
[billie bell] - You said it correctly! Reframe your senses of SELF worth and Re-frame your view! Never just settle for those who can't give as much as you are willing to do! It's better to be alone completely than be with someone half way! Respect your self to walk away from that which does not give as well as receive! It is a 2 way street!
The Problem with Women... is Men: Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th - 50th Comments
[marlene fannon] - And some of the guys who insist that they are "nice guys" who women are passing up aren't really nice guys. I've met two recently who had severe anger management problems and were extremely verbally and emotionally abusive, yet insists that they are the "nice guys." Yeah, right.
[julia dobbs] - What if you are just not physically attracted to them?
[eldar crnogorcevic] - so many of you women saying that the majority of "nice guys" have no courage or bravery.
well if you've already given them a stereotype, how are you supposed to find a guy if you won't give 60% of them a chance? you've basically shortened your standards to work with what'd you call "bad guys".
[wanda davis] - I don't have low self-esteem and don't like bad treatment or disrespect from a man, but I do like a handsome, neat, friendly, respectful, intelligent, successful man, and unfortunately most of the great guys that you speak of usually are missing a few of the qualities that I desire. Visual is the first instinct that a human has, so for me, unfortunately, if the man is not handsome with a neat appearance, I won't bother to explore how great he is. I love a man with swag, charm, and nice appearance, clean-cut, etc. in order for him to even catch my eye. That's just how it is with me. Probably a big mistake, but I like and want what I like and want. I am not settling, when I see women that have men with the same qualities that I desire in order for them to even appeal to me or for me to want to get to know them further. I am a very confident woman that wants a man that is confident, and unfortunately sometimes the jerks are confident and overly confident in some instances, which can begin to create problems. Hope I don't sound too vain, because I am not, just like "eye candy" for starters! lol
[lisa mullins] - I stay single to avoid heartache. Having a disabled son has shown me the true colors of most men and if u can't accept my child then u aren't worthy of my time:)
[fawn annoplee rose] - Btw...these are the men who DO act like they see you with their heart then later you discover they actually have no heart.
[lynne barnes] - Elvis says it best, Who gets the girl? The one that has the courage to knock on her door. I have tried to get a good guy. They never ask until it is way too late. The wrong guys say all the right things and then it is too late when you find out how much they have lied.
[gena bartlett-chiasson] - Unfortunately, this is very true. Others may not like to hear the truth because it may be difficult for them to accept this about themselves. It is something that we usually learn at an early age. As much as I dislike Freud, you can almost lead it back to the way the father or father figure effected the daughters life. That is always why you hear the saying "She married someone like her father".
[troy edwards] - Nice guy and boring guy are 2 different people . If you are bored that's your fault boring people get bored easily .
[delfina martinez] - This so TRUE!!!! I had 2 great guys & I lost them both to keep going back to the same loser! I always thought nice guys were boring & the bad guy was so exciting! Boy was I wrong!!!!
[john brown] - Exactly!!! Women always say they want a nice guy but always go for the total opposite. I do believe it has some to do with how they value themselves. Women also get used to being in bad relationships and are afraid of a relationship that isn't like their normal ones from their past. Therefore, they choose to go back to that type of relationship without giving the nice guy a chance to see where it would lead. It might be from their fear of change
[justine affleck] - When I realised it was ME and not THEM - I was shocked ! After a lot if reading, therapy and learning to love me I found the best guy ! I finally chose well because I was well
[eldar crnogorcevic] - the art of love should not be paired with eyes, but with the heart.
the sensation of "love at first sight" isn't love, it's an infatuation.
the reason many guys and girls think they're truly in love with someone is because they're claimed to have that sensation.
[dan mcgonagle] - This is so true I am a real gentleman who treats all women with respect and admiration but seem to be almost invisible
[anuj sharma] - we r talking about bad guys .. why dont we talk about bad girls .. on what basis we can decide that the person is good or bad ... actually we cant ... we cant bcoz somewhere we are ..
[lorrie ann pledger] - It's a fathers fault.
A girl learns to be treated properly ( right ) from her father ( male influence )
[madison grasso] - Eldar I think through my own experience when you reach a certain age you stop looking for fun and instead your searching for the "one". You get to the point where you decide your not settling for anything less than what you want out of life and love. For me: intelligence, wit, humour, fun, adventurous but I have to have those butterflies. If they are not there then there's always something missing.
"Bad boys" can fake it because they have mastered charm. Know how to talk to women and how to make them laugh. As Marilyn said "make a woman laugh and you can make her do anything". I truly believe it. Of coarse this is only my experience.
I'm sure there are nice interesting intelligent men out there but I'm yet to meet one with courage.
[jon dowling] - This may be true but if you keep doing the same insane behaviors expecting a different result it's your own fault!
[kristal nelson] - I have just sat here and read thru all the comments and some of the things some people say make sense and others are outrageous! I was sexually abused as a child, no I never looked for anything like that in any of my relationships, nor did I look for someone with those qualities (abusive in any kind of way, shape, or form). Yes love at first sight does happen and it is true, I know this for a fact because the night I met my husband I actually shut the door in his face as I was completely speechless and had fallen in love at first sight and he had the same thing happen to him when I answered the door and then shut the door in his face (I was staying with a friend and my husband showed up to talk to her fiancé before he left to take his semi load and deliver it), I have a son that is not his and my husband fell in love with him and my son with my husband at first sight also). Both of us had come from bad relationships/marriages and neither of us were looking for any kind of relationship at the time. We have been together for almost 15 yrs now and married almost 13 yrs. Not all women who are abused as a child look for that consciencely or subcomsciencely and we don't feel like we need to be treated that way because of our past. Men and women both are to blame for failed relationships, it's not just one or the other, it takes 2 to tango, not 1. There are still good guys/men out there still. My husband was a "bad boy" at one time and has turned into not only a "good guy" but one of the best guys I have ever met or run across, so yes "bad boys" can and do change and become the "good guy". Yes we have had a lot of rough and rocky roads throughout our relationship, but we got thru them and will continue to do so, because we believe in working through problems, not just throwing it away, we fix them and move on. We are inseperatable now and neither of us can handle being away from the other for very long without feeling like a part of us is missing, a very important part of us at that. Today's men and women are out for themselves and what they can get/gain, instead of the important things. Both have become "players" and it's sad really, but this is what society has made people today. Don't give up hope on true love or love at first sight or on "good girls/guys" because they all do still exist in today's world, it's just a little harder to find them.
[stacy vierling paun] - Sometimes the bad guys present themselves as a really great guy. Wolf in Sheeps clothing.
[glenda pearce] - Also- can take a good while before you come to see their true colours. All can be so great in the beginning.. and even then they can be 'lying' etc. sad sad.
[nina bodle] - What matters is that she recognises a rat when she meets one & gets rid!!! Sadly that means she will probably meet more since the rats are in large numbers percentage wise! Lol but also TRUE!
[dcm carlyon] - ive been single a year and been on alot of dates all the nice guys ive met have other problems whether it be physically or mentally which is a real shame but its life i hate guys with drama they will only bring you down
[clara mcauley] - I used to be one of those women! Not any more...If a guy treats you bad, you deserve so much more...so show him the road and never look back!
[annette dudley] - Bad boys can be alot of drama, headaches, stress and heartache....... Settling down is better for ones social and emotional well being...................
[paddy finn] - Nice words Greg Harper... If you don't agree, don't comment with that language, it just makes you look like the person you described...
[renee michele] - The nice guys are usually highly unattractive. We'll take our chances on a better looking one.
[susan denise] - Ok .. Good guys step up plzzzzz .. Waiting to see them
[kristina richard-wolf] - Women don't want "nice" guys because there's no mental challenge and they have visions of him holding their purse while they go clothes shopping which means he has to give up his "man card" and might as well be "one of the girls". This is not to say that women like ABUSE (I don't know maybe some do). Women don't want to be hit, lied to, cheated on etcetera. They want a "good" guy. One who is secure in his manhood and they can respect because he's selective with his time and energy and saves it for quality things and people. There's a difference.
[carmen barrera] - The problem is guys are nice in the beginning then they turn into jerks by that time we have fallen for them
[evelyn dejesús] - I agree to a certain degree but many good guys lack confidence and confidence is sexy. There is also the matter of chemistry. You can lead you heart to love, but you can't make it fall.
[bob ferguson] - Women overlook great men because women see men as a financial plan. Great men are more interested in making a better world than a better income. So therefor women go for the other men, the ones who are materialistic and self centered.
[andrea gudath-murry] - I got out of emotionally abusive relationship with an alcoholic after 20 years. My thinking was "I'm better off alone than to put up with it anymore" you're right, tho, your self worth and self esteem are shattered and it takes time to stumble across the "right" one for you. How will you recognize the man with good intentions and feel deserving of their love? By the time you figure it out they move on. I guess they need to have patience. If he is worth it and you are worth it.. just happens.
[jim newell] - Thats what i think about women Glenda Pearce u can only get burn so many times till u dont trust any women or men depends on who u are
[chelsea nopera] - Or men and women both the same! And both go after the wrong choice because lets face it good girls seem plan and girls are same like the Bad boys coz they say the right words to get the Girl. And both men and women have to learn the hard way before they know there worth! Taken me lots of broken hearts to know my worth and I know what I want and need and looking for!! :)
[jeannette marie palfreyman] - Where r all the great guys to start with
[swapnil kashyap] - its all natural... there's nothing nice or wrong about it... ifu have no feeeling its easy to hook up... while if a guy hasfeelings he tends to love the same girl for too long.. stophaving feeling guys and u will win every ladies hearts.
[karen caruana] - Henrie Hilleren Jorgensen you said it so well, my last so called perfect partner had done his homework on me told me everything i wanted to here and more, but the whole time behind my back he was gay, he used my computer and went and joined friend finder/ social sex adam for adam and way to many more to remember, we broke up but while i was at work he was breaking into my home to use my computer and also my credit card...Now i thought i was an intelligent women but know way in my wildest dreams would i have ever imagined this... Im still suffering 2 years later,
[toni desmarais] - wot rot- Ever thought that we were deceived? Some guys are one way for so long then snap and all of a sudden they are total jerks and losers I reckon its the same with some women too. It is that some people are not made for life time commitments because they are work and they just like the first flushes of romance that happens in the first 6-12mths then they start to get bored. Specially when you have kids together and it isn't all about them. Most men still are big sooky lalas. Mine turned out to be. and weak. Drugs and Drink can change a person so I don't think We Women are the ones most responsible. We are natural carers and nurturers not BS's mind readers.. we start to develop that later..
[monika alisha alisha] - There aint no good guys, the wrong ones r married nd rest is gays...
[kylie green] - Disgusting comment Greg Harper. Perhaps you should not be reading this page if you feel do strongly about it. I believe women have a right to read this without your poor language since you want to bring up rights!
[serene bower] - My problem is, I don't ever date guys a like but guy seem only to act normal and nice to be my girlfriend about a month later they do childish things like, ignore me for days after I get mad after they treat me like shit because of a game, tell me communication is not important and disappear for a month and saying I had to trust them, broken promises, so many lies, really extremely unstable, threats of murder and suicide. How they look, how they dress, how they act, their hobbies were never the same and their ages verried from 18 - 27 over the last few years. It's heard to know who is normal and nice because mean horrible guys know how to put on an act on what you want to hear and act decent. I stay with them for five months at just because I thought that they were in a bad mood and they will be okay in a couple of days but it's never the case. I don't think that every guy is like that but if they going to treat me badly because of who they I'm better off walking away. With this illness I had since I was thirteen I can't keep dealing with this. I seriously need something stable.
[bob sanders] - i agree with Bettina and Jillian,some guys (also women can be like that,a few)present themselves as calm and good , some really ARE,others should be nominated for an Oscar
[catherine white] - nice guys finish last bcuz they dont open there mouth and say anything they need to be more spontaneous and put the jerk scale down a whole lot more then it is so to all you nice guys out there grow some balls and speak up were waiting
[lizeth garcia garcia] - It is funny but you can't make no one to love you. If there is no love and respect there is nothing. And if there is lies that is worse. The problem this man lie and lie over and over again. Sorry if it was a good man with just no drama I am 100% sure they will have her attention, love and respect. There is a reason for all in life, believe me if was a good man I don't think a good woman would not like that. All depends the personality and style of life. Because you want a person does not means you can have it. Love is a mutual sensation. No need to fake a feeling or try and try! It should be natural desire! Period
[dcm carlyon] - a guy can be as sweet as anything but if he doesnt look after himself it doesnt matter how nice he is and the ones that do look after themselves know it and will only settle for barbie dolls
[tyler capone dubois] - "Friend zoning" is the asshole's way of not taking rejection. Again, it bases itself upon the principle that being a decent human being or being kind obligates the person receiving the kindness to give sex. There is no such thing as the "friend zone", there is women not being interested and men who think that they've entered a sex for favors contract. Being nice to her doesn't obligate her to like you.
[tyler capone dubois] - Real nice guys don't whine about how girls always go for the asshole. Nice Guys who whine about girls not liking them are assholes who don't look at themselves as the problem, but at the girls who don't see them as fabulous enough.
[ruth de souza guedes-badger] - I've met many men who seem to be calm, drama-free and come across as the "right" one. It seems that once they'think they've "hooked" me, they turn into selfish jerks. When I leave them, they flip out, as if they expected me to tolerate their unacceptabe behavior.
[robin r robin] - Seems to me like "nice guys" are only nice out of pure necessity because they have absolutely nothing else to offer. Yeah, being a nice person is important, but so is being a good provider and having same interests and chemistry. MOST men SEEM nice in the beginning, that's how they suck a lot of us in.
The Problem with Women... is Men: Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th - 100th Comments
[erika lewis] - I'm following this post and reading all the comments and just simply blows my mind all the negative I seen ! Here is what I think ! And I know some of you ladies will be offended by this but that's how I feel about it !
The first defense people engage in is to blame their problems on other people. Sometimes it's called scapegoating but it's generally know as projection. It is not only a huge problem but is the worst problem in history.
Feminism, which is not a good thing and has done far more harm that good, is based on "Everything is men's fault." Specifically, everything is the fault of white, Western men.
"Everything is men's fault" is why there is such denigration of men, including such insults as "Dead White Males," slave-owning Founding Fathers, etc. You know the drill.
I suspect the reason women are far more likely to blame their problems on men than vice-versa is because women are far more ruled by their emotions than men. And that makes many of them not particular rational (I'd estimate maybe 10% of women are actually rational).
It's a pretty nasty crack, but what Jack Nicholson's character, Melvin Udall, said about understanding women in As Good As It Gets, is true: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
What we've got here is men being held accountable for their behavior but women not being held accountable for theirs. Worse, men are only responsible for their behavior but also for women's.
When people aren't held accountable for their behavior they turn back into children. At the worst they turn into babies. And when one group is held accountable for another group, the former get resentful toward the latter. Which is why we have the Manosphere.
What to do? Since men created civilization and culture, men civilize women, not the other way around. It was George "Daffy Duck" Gilder who popularized the meme that women civilize men. Boy, did he get that one wrong.
Since men have failed in civilizing women (by deferring to their whining for the last 40 years) the culture has gone backward morally while going forward technologically.
Logically, then, men should not listen to women who are a) hostile, who b) whine and who c) blame their problems on men, which means putting them down.
I doubt things are going to change until there is a major societal collapse (it's because the mass of people are stupid). But collapse it will, and change it will.
[greg harper] - Cry a fuckin river. Women will choose who they want to be with. It's their choice. No matter who you think they should choose. Let women make their own fucking choices. You have no right to criticize or judge women for who they choose to be with. What a fuckin loser.
[sarah bezborodoff] - And if a guy tells you his ex was an abusive bitch who beat him / snooped on him for no reason?? That's BS too... There was a reason.
[amy ivins] - Bad boys are exciting ... exhilarating, really ... nice boys seem to be boring, predictable ... all of which is a myth ... and this is a lesson which every girl must learn on her own ... unfortunately ...
[conny de gier] - I don't agree.
Good men don't have that sexy charisma that good looking women need.
[nicholas owiti] - At 27years and not yet married but I know what keeps a relationship going in happiness. It is never one party's responsibility to do those 'nice' things so that their relationship keeps moving in sweetnes. We must constantly tell our partners how 2 luv us
[tawana stevenson-dansby] - Agree. I know I'm one of those women
[sharrelle manser] - Its also because sometimes.. the nice guy is a wimp and the "wrong" guy (at the start) shows that hes a man and can usually say the right things to show he is nice aswel.
[blondy b] - Yes, i do agree. Because the post says "Some women". But somehow, we always highlight on this type/kind of women. What about the others? The rests? the "other some" whom ironically have almost the same results. Even though they did chose the nice/right/ who treats good/even exciting/and without drama...but after a while, that guy changes to be totally the opposite. Or at least not the one she knew/been with over months,even years? True, there are many nice guys that we meet, but somehow lot of them change, and show their true colors after a while. And btw, just like women, MEN too experience/live this same thing. They think they've found the nice lady,then boom after few months that poor guy discovers she's not that lady at all! Of course, naturally, they break up or walk away...But what i'm trying to say, ppl who knows OR don't know their self-worth (and all the reasons mentioned above on this post) are ending/facing almost the same results later on.. Everybody nowadays are struggling to find a decent person. Not only in couple relationships. I believe it's because good and stable individuals are hard to find nowadays...it's not always the person (i'd rather call it the victim) is to blame, or to advice or guide. But the victimizer too .Because even if "some women" don't know their self-worth, that doesn't give the right to a man to lie/manipulate/abuse her in any way. And this is happening with the women who knows their self-worth too, though they chose the nice one! (Noting always, that this goes vice versa.)
[sarah louise gardiner] - U cant control who you are attracted to though, thats my problen
[beth white] - I agree with this but that is not the way the US is anymore! No self worth, pride, ambition to be a hard worker and a productive citizen! I will celebrate 3 yrs from now that maybe this will change! Dear God, please help us!!!
[jon boscariol] - Of Course the title up top is the problem with women is men!!! Da Ta Da, of course it's our fault who else would be given the blame or actually take responsibility? What's the definition of Insane, doing the samething over and over and expecting a different result??? I don't blame my ex's solely for our marriage's not working out for the long term, we both shared responsibility in those matters. Nor do I say all women are the same or condem them because they've had a failed relationship/marriage. Chemistry, Timing, Maturity and Experience plus a few/many other attributes can go a long ways towards 2 people sharing with, loving and making each other happy today that may not have 20, 10, 5 heck even 1 year ago. So tired of hearing they're all the same regardless of the sex!!!
[jon dowling] - That's so not true Julia! It's that kind of thinking that gets women into trouble. Change your thinking and behaviors and you'll get different results.
[kim dix] - in reality i think the nice guys are home or at work doing what nice guys should be doing and the wrong guys are out hunting down those who are trying hard not to find them but as usual they are where all predators are, they are online because they have children that they are bringing up alone or because the wrong guy has made them to frightened to go out to look for love. then because they know what it is like to get hurt they look for the one guy that is saying the opposite to what the last guy was like but forget what he was like in the begining when he was telling all the same lies that this guy is also saying, and for those who say they are nice guys out there, we cant tell because you are saying the same things that the nasty guys are saying, the difference is that when you have lived for so long with so many lies its hard for you to tell which one is telling the truth, for those like me who have aspergers being able to read someones face and know who the liars are is impossible so we make mistakes, we try our hardest to work with what we have got, we put everything into the wrong guy because we are so desperate to have the happy life that we were promised by fairytales which is never going to happen because life isnt like that no matter how good the guy you get is, you both have to work at a relationship and until we all learn that we will still pick the wrong guy, live with the hurt and try and make it like the fairytale that isnt going to happen and the good guys will watch everyone go by, and its not just the women in life that mess up, a lot of the guys want the wrong woman, the one who looks great and is willing to give her all to someone and give up her ambition for a guy doesnt exist anymore, we are all told we have to want it all and for those of us who think that bringing up healthy happy well adjusted children is a full time job are being punished and told that we are lazy if we arent out at work. down side is that means that our children are raising themselves and we are unhappy at their lack of discipline and manners.
[lisa cowley-booker] - Stay single .. Makes more sense
[sibabalwe ciya] - I'll tell u what make's them fall for the bad guys most of the time bad guy's have higher status and he gives her whatever she wants
[donna k. maynard] - That's definitely me in a nutshell. My 2nd husband was an abuser & I stayed with him 17 years until I had finally had enough. We got divorced & then 3 years later I let him move in with me & our 2 kids, daughter-in-law & grandduaghter. 7 years later we are still living together in an on again-off again relationship. I want something better. A happier life for myself. I know I deserve to be happy but I just don't have the nerve or the strength to walk out & move on. I feel like I'm a failure because I've been married twice & divorced twice & no one would want me at my age.
[sello lolo raletebele] - God blessed all women and men with instinct or 6th sense as we put it,we ignore it when it warns us hoping the person we date will change we give them more care and the result is always destructive,when we date some1 the signs show usually after a month but we just ignore them by compromising our happiness hoping things will get getter and fact is men/women with bad habits never change,look for some1 whose shows gratitude and appreciates isn a simple way,a person who values happiness above all and will to build and share it with u*
[marie corner robinson] - I also agree I have been In a very bad one but you just have to wait for the right guy, I found him and couldn't been in a btr place at the moment but lady's we all have to fight to keep our sanity if you have kids it's btr for the kids to leave then put them though the heart ache of arguments and seeing you get hurt I didn't and suffered for 20 odd years but now I'm in love and cud not have meet a nicer man but I still don't feel I deserve him
[mary meadows] - U go Nina. People always tell me scared of commitment but I say I am to smart to stick around and let a man crap on me
[melissa harris] - Good men are hard to came bye
[shaneka porter] - how can u blame a woman when a man with all his charm n wit does evry thing to whn a woman will even pursue for years. only gnd could come n tell u its nt genuine until his colors change
[derrek barnes] - As a man whom has tried to be the "good guy", it does seem to drive women away. Now I am only myself. If they can't live with that, I don't need them in my life.
[sarah o brien] - no its the law of attraction... like attracts like ... if ur negative u attract negative ppl and circunstances in to ur life .... :)
[anna horne] - I can't stand when men portray themselves as nice guys and turn out to be obsessed and anything but nice. I tried to find red flags to know if they are narcissists or not. Keep finding red flags in a relationship, not ones when you are dating.
[patra tweet tweet] - I think the nice guys are the ones who don't give us goose pumps or butterflies in our tummies. They are the ones who we ignore or call good frens.. Most nice guys are too afraid to say I like u or can I take u out. Mr nice guy stop being shy and come find me...
[susan llewellyn] - Had one once let him go big mistake !
[susan llewellyn] - Please tell me where are the nice guys !
[olivia macpherson] - If they are to nice it seems fake
[célia n'sele] - What you cant deny is , love is also a matter of luck,right time ,right moment.And sometimes you only get one shoot, with a good person.But the issues is that once you crossed the path of this good person, you were blinded by a coward man.OR you arent ready for a relationship.In conclusion, i think the more you'll be a good woman/man, someone whos ready to settle,faithfull,who ownes the good qualities requires for a long term relationship.The more difficult you ll find someone good.Most of people arent ready and dont know how to love.Even though you ll follow the instructions of a book, videos love coach, it doesnt guarantee you the find someone (good) and to keep her/him.
[valerie hill] - I am ready for a nice guy!
[michael corson] - When I was going to college, then later teaching college, I had so many beautiful, really sharp, very nice, sweet, wonderful lady friends who cried on my shoulder about the bad relationship they were in with this creep or that jerk. But they would either break up with the guy and a few days or weeks later get back with him or find a new beau who was just as bad.
Wake up, ladies. There are plenty of truly nice guys out there who would treat you right.
[emma louise morgan] - I also find that some of the nicest of guys can be narcisstic sociopaths.
[greg harper] - Your comment - "These women need to reframe their senses of self-worth and they will reframe their view on the type relationship they actually want and deserve."
First and foremost, your spelling is atrocious. Secondly, you have no right telling women what they need to do or how to fucking behave. You sir, are a fucking puss filled infected horse cunt. Who are you to decide what women deserve??? Such a fucktard!!
[hellion blight] - What a load of shite.
[kathy clark] - is this prayer meeting??
[monique caslick] - All the nice ones are already married ... *sigh* ...
[dollar dilla] - Why do people need to cheat...really stupid...if im cheates on ill never forgive d person...n ill never cheated on my other half as well bcoz its just stupid...
[sierra robinson] - Wow some of these girls on here just proves that this comment is true.! Please re read your comment lady's lol
[chris hanley] - you are so spot on in my situation.I only ended up with guys i liked 'bad boys". I married one of them for 15 years, & had a daughter who believes he is a god.We are attracted to men who we feel are suited to us, end of story.It may be the right or wrong guy.Time will tell.
[rosemarie autumn] - What a crock of horse shit this post is
[tina watta] - I want a great guy just can't find him!
[renee ann] - works the same for men as well. NOT just women.
[kura clarke] - i thort i had found mr right but i was so wrong:(
[adanna constantine] - 'Nice Guys' is a myth.
[terry mola] - I'm a believer! I do this!
[henry wanyama] - The nice guys are always genuine. How can u win a woman wen u are genuine in your dealings. Women like sweet words which poor guys are good at. Thy know how to persuade & win the heart!
[lorrie ann pledger] - Also what she watched and witnessed as except able from her mother ( female role model )
[cecilia ice-queen kayembe] - i think they choose the wrong guy, because the think the good ones are just pretending..(they to good to be true.)..thats why they go for the one's who show they dramatic selfs and all that.
[michelle williams] - Men do the same exact thing!!! The pot calling the kettle black!
The Problem with Women... is Men: Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th - 150th Comments
[aleksz yuan shen] - perhaps the "calm" guy is not much to look at? or has nothing interesting to bring to the table? available guys tend to lack in the looks, education, height, or some other department. the eligible guys tend to be taken, gay, or out of reach!
[divine embrace] - Women love sugar raps, thats the reasons, they love those crazy looking guys, who looks like model, sexy, well perfumed, rings all over them, thats the kind of men ladies like, they call them DUDE, and those DUDES, are not ready. Matured men are what a good lady needs around her, not those disco lovers, players, sweet rappers, thats not what a matured lady should be involved with, excepting she want to cry
[jon dowling] - Amen Danielle! Finally an adult woman who has the temerity and the sense to speak the truth!!
[stacey m. bichell] - This sounds like my love life or lack thereof in a nutshell. Always going after the bad boys, and overlooking the nice ones because they bore me.
[kit baker] - How do you reframe your self worth? My last two relationships were violent, how can I change this?
[sibabalo ntulini] - Tjo m learning a lot from ur comments guys anx a lot
[jon dowling] - We could say much the same thing to you women Maliha. It goes both ways.
[shaina gentry] - Always inspired when I read ur post. :)
[liz lloyd] - I agree to some extent. We can be attracted to a certain type of personality so you have to have an awareness of what is attracting you to someone especially if you know they aren't right for you.
In saying that though I think people jump into relationships way to quickly and knowing at the beginning that they don't have a lot in common and thinking love will see them through.
It doesn't. If you aren't a good match in values, desires, how you perceive the world, your wants, then there is going to be issues for both male and female.
Just because it doesn't work out at times does not mean that the person is bad. They just were not right for you but can make someone else very happy.
[sadaf khan] - Sometimes we meet the narcissistic psycopath that sweeps us off our feet just to break our hearts...how easy for you to say we "choose" wrong when the predator is just looking for his next feast....... :>
[fawn annoplee rose] - Haha ok. Here's the deal...it's not a gender issue but rather a heart condition. Some people do not have a conscious and are heartless so they victimize unsuspecting souls. It would be a beautiful world if people were real and true and treated others as they want to be treated. But I guess that's what heaven will be about. Ps...If you are reading this and you are accused by others for mistreating them don't ignore that, it's wrong to shatter other people so please do yourself and the world a favor and talk to a counselor.
[ronel bantjes] - Bietjie raad uit ondervindind---Kyk hoe hy groot geword het luister na dit wat hy jou vertel van sy kinderjare,(baie manne leef in dieselfde voorbeeld wat hy kry!bv as pa in beheer is van alles geld en material dan moet jy klaar in pasoppens wees want mnr gaan vir jou se girl ek is inbeheer van jou salaris ek sal besluit wanneer jy iets kan koop ,jy gaan hard werk en niks vir jouself kan koop nie ai nee dit werk nie so nie2-Kyk na sy optrede teenoor sy ouers as hy kwaad is vir hul of. selfs vir jou. ouers as hy afmaak as sleg en vloek nee nee nee hy gaan jou sonder respek behandel 3-As hy van jou verwag om n ete te betaal as hy jou nooi nee nee ,as hy geld wil leen nee nee,As hy op vriende en fam en jou opmerkings maak soos bv geleerdheid en jou kinderlewe en hy het nie n bright een gehad nie Joloesie Jy gaan die verwyte altyd hoor 4- As hy jou geld vat en net vir hom koop en jou niks gun los uit .4--As hy ander sleg maak vloek en altyd handgemeen wil raak los uit hy gaan dit met jou doen.As hy darem so af en toe bederf dan n ja ja As hy hou van skuld maak nee nee en gedurig van werk verander nee nee jy gaan vir hom moet sorg.Hy moet jou kan druk sonder om te vra en jou kan troos as jy huil en na jou kan luister dis baie belangrik en sy opienie gee .Liefde vir vriende nee nee behalwe as hy jou saam vat .Hy moet respek he vir jou liggaam ,jou fam,en jouself hy moet netjies op homself wees.Bietjie raad van iemand met ondervinding
[donna winstead] - Because the so called good guys are real good at first but then they start showing their true colors. In my opinion there are to many women and not enough men so the men just try to keep women hanging around telling each other the same things so who ever you are you are not an expert on women your probably one that thinks hes the good guy.
[pallavi sharma] - so true!! i mean majority do think like that i just pray that the lucky day will come for every women when they will actually face the realities and not some old foolish fantasies which is imposed upon them by their families and societies.it's a wake up call girls now or never!!
[heather hartley] - Well what if you have already had the marriage ,, it didn't work ... The abusive boyfriend ... Obviously didn't work...the good guy funny, not too smart , somewhat attractive,, but a drunk ... So that didn't work.. Now how about sex,, just a good sex life no drama no relationship .thats gotta work for me at least for now :)
[pam williams] - Not true. I'm turned off by Bad boys. I know I'm too soft hearted for them so I wont even talk to them. But I don't even have nice guys trying! And not to brag but I'm quite a catch! They all pretend to be nice guys
at first, until I figure it out several months down the road after I'm emotionally invested but I want to still hope that it can be as good as it was in the beginning.
[mathabo josie] - nomore mr nice guy dey r all de same if he wants wht he want he'l pretend to be mr nice
[cthe mkhize cthe] - I dnt understand whn u talkng about the wrong guy.coz some of them they pretend to be nice guy until he get wat he want to women.i end up sayng all boys are the same.how can u cee a perfect one
[lisa carroll] - I used to be stuck in this same pattern. But when I recently remembered who I am & my worth, I've manifested a good one.
[lesliie dasilva] - Sometimes people are afraid of happiness,,,,,
[harpreet singh] - so true women usually fall for jerks and then cry later on how he used her.
[misty mccune] - I'm with Bettina on this one. Guys lie so well these days, and it's b.s.
[ashley hines] - Bettina that is so true the wrong guys are the best at the game while the good guys are kinda lame.
[keanu adam] - Playboy always look promising and good vs dump guy. Until you fall in love with playboy, their true-self will surface. And you will fall in love with next playboy not look a like playboy. And the story continue... Coz dump guy are just boring.
[sue pritchard] - "Good guys" can be manipulative, too. Different strokes...
[janine ntombikayise nkosi] - I stil think its better to be single than having to learn every bad relationship u get into.
[sunday nyeleti] - Bad guys are sweet talkers.most ladies realise wen its too late & thy r mostly stolen frm gud hands.once thr waz a gud guy in their lives bt thy wer attractd to nice deceit while th gud guy cried,begged and pleaded for them not to leave & am sure he seemed foolish & brainless.nw most of them r regreting. I thank God for th an answerd prayer.
[holly parachinni] - Ive had my share of "bad boys". I have had enough to last a lifetime. The only place I want to see a " bad boy" is on a rerun of cops. Thanks... ill pass.
[kai hayden] - lool i saw many girls and womens dating a dumbs ... and then they complaining with this ... all the men are the same? really? i mean for me a normal lady keep dating ... them and a wise smart lady stop chasing the same type of men it's easy like a cake ;)
[glenda pearce] - Well- first off.. I can't find me a decent guy of interest.. where are they.. move south? lol
[terryll l. makarow] - We like assholes.. Hard to get.. Not some nerdy nice guy lol
[ann whitaker-sauls] - Those of a certain generation - baby boomers and older where raised thinking they were not valued except for what they could do for the man - cook, clean, have babies etc - be homemakers. Really sad and in a way pretty sick when you think about the sexist society in which we (I'm 60 something) raised. Lot of mixed messages and double standards. One has to value oneself before one wants to be with someone of value and most of us were not raised to have good self-esteem or confidence. When one learns to value oneself through experience, one starts to make better choices like men who were raised to value and respect women as partners in life. .... Today's generation of women I hope are being taught better than we were. I know I did with my daughter but the results are mixed. I detest him...... took me a decade to get there but that's where I am.
[megan wicks] - I also notice women will sleep with a man right away then are left wondering why he wants nothing to do with them. Just wanted to throw that out there.
Don't think this had anything to do with topic but people are talking about how they find this guy or that guy. So watch out for that too. Just wanted to share my thought anyways.
[nina bodle] - Xtina GOOD FOR YOU! :-)
[sandra bonney] - I think you might categorise me as one of 'these women' and ya know what? I DO think I am worthy...I DO value myself. I think this is a bit like victim blaming or slut shaming....it doesn't help. It doesn't account for a large percentage of women who like myself do value themselves yet still come up against this scenario. We live in a male biased society. Males need to lift their game, do some work on themselves as much if not more than women do. So much more I could say here....
[natalie romano] - I agree with a lot of what you post but this time around I'm calling bullshit.
[lisa hawkins] - True and just recently realized that calm and drama free doesn't = right for me... there were so many other issues...
[charlotte rose martin] - i am one of those women!
[johnson paul rauhihi] - Or they get a great guy but ruin it by deciding to go into crack so go out with a gang guy to make themselves feel better and ruin the kids life and my own
[belinda anne walker] - I total agree with this statement. I am sadly one of these women! I'm learning to change!
[genesis debz] - I alwez feel happy 4 choosing d right guy bt afta gettin' into relationship i end up regreting dat again i made a mistake choosing d wrong guy.. Dont think ne1 z nice guy
[lilk esposito] - See i thought I found a good guy but he didn't know when to grow up
[cheetah lapham] - Shannon Nichols Kerstie Kdubalicous Williams
[debbie sanchez] - stuck on stupid been there done it to many times.but on the other hand men lie so fuckin bad just to get what they want pretty sad on their part.
[dairy milk hurtz] - LiKe & pOsT oN oUr PaGe wELcOmE To Hip Hop Guyzzz Of India
[eldar crnogorcevic] - been in this situation much too many times, often the other guy is either the girl's ex or some guy they've had a thing with. often the reason they choose the other person is because they're comfortable with them because of previous experiences and memories, and they'll prefer that over re-doing it all with a new guy.
[henrie hilleren jorgensen] - No such thing as "nice guys". There are great men surfacing now and then, they are known by being humble about themselves and their ego, never claiming greatness, goodness or "niceness". They dont need to broadcast a damn thing. Their demeanor, expressions, attitude and life actions are testament to their quality. Yet none of them are ever truly to be trusted. Sorry but my life experience teaches me this, and I rather go with my own wisdom. Not enough great guys to meet the demand. Lots of creepy men chiming in here with such comments, all claiming to be overlooked "good guys" virtually scared and hiding in the corners waiting to be praised and congratulated for their terrificness. Well you are not great, good or even nice. You are all likely very anti-social and undesirable on most levels that matter to women's values.
[ralph ciardella] - Even if you're used to it...........why would you run to abuse? Doesn't make any sense!
[ralph ciardella] - I knew a couple of girls like that. OY!
[gail stapleton] - I agree...but how exactly do we go about doing that? Reframing our senses of self worth?
The Problem with Women... is Men: Why do some women overlook great guys and *choose* the wrong ones? Because they get stuck in th - 200th Comments
[maria parsons] - Bheki beeko you got it so wrong.
[maria parsons] - Wow. Henrie Hilleren Jorgen. I could identify with a lot of your story. Thank you for sharing. Yes it is so hard to tell. Even if they're not too bad ... the man is still not suitable:(. Doesn't seem fair somehow! Well you sound happy now but still single. I'd like to be apart of two eventually, thinking that I'll be the happiest then! Sounds codependent doesn't it. Loves a bit like that... Anyhow I'm not that sick, and I'm too fussy:).
[hailey cullen] - HEY GUYS! Please help my page get to its first 100 likes! https://www.facebook.com/OurImperfectPerfections
[jon dowling] - Wrong totally ridiculous comment!
[stephanie calzada] - I agree. You are speaking truths
[bob ferguson] - Ultimately, if you keep choosing men in the same way, you will continue to choose the same sort of men
[bob ferguson] - @adinna constantine, I claim to be trying to make a better world, I'm a practicing Buddhist, in the last two years I have completed two diplomas, I work as a mental health support worker and counsellor, as well as I also volunteer with a local charity, which I would say is far from lazy. I expect no one to "hold my hand" in fact for the last 7 years I have been single, by my own choice. No one makes decisions for me but me. I don't see myself as a failure. And I have never hustled anyone in my life. I don't use any thing to "get women" is they like me then good, if not, just as good, and I believe that the only cure for pedophilia is euthanasia.
try owning your choices and the outcome of those choices rather than blaming the partners you choose for not being who you want them to be, because they weren't who you wanted them to be when you chose them and you chose them anyway.
[esma al-kubeisy] - So so true, I really want to do that amd just get with the right guy!!
[stephanie noud] - I love calm & without drama...it's more peaceful and you do better. <3
[madiha aslam] - i really think that y all men aren't like u ?
[suneeta samat] - Sounds like me, some changes are needed
[beth white] - Some people just don't get that! LOL
[nancy acquafresca] - Maybe because the nice guy comes across as boring.
[raedena halstead] - Guess I havent met a nice guy!
[marianne catz] - Schizo Meh Mia Marie!!!
[jopa re] - Yanthy Yahya Interesting maybe?
[sibabalo ntulini] - @ susan m the one of nyc guys but unfortunately m poor so gals/ women they dn't see me has a man which can make their dreams come true just because most ot them they don't think abaut future...# no offence plz
[jon dowling] - Amen Maggie! You have to be what you're asking for. I tell this to women who will actually listen when this type of conversation ensues.
[elaine bable] - guy need to stop.and see what they are doing to us ladys
[elaine bable] - a man say thing that woman want to hear then it late she hook
[erin wilcox] - Basically love is blind.for a while
[bijoux carter] - Hoezo ons Kethia Carter
[traci white] - I think its just the same with women too.. some n I mean some men would rather go with someone who keeps messing around n treats them like crap.. than someone who would treat them with love n loyalty all wrong if u ask me!!!!!
[eno mendie] - I dont understand this post. Should i settle fr a guy "i dont love" all because he is a gentle man? Or Charles should we date people who are nice? But what about the feelings that we dont have for them? Remember, this good-turned-bad guys are also nice and we love them
[susan holt] - Trying to figure out how to be positive!
[katie grey] - Nice guys finish last - fact! If there's no passion, fire, excitement where's the point? Life's not about settling.......
[lebogang harriporch maleka] - simple sOlution the guy u knw mOst, mean th one u put in "FriendzOne" hs mostly th one..........
[abhay prajapath] - Women like slave like dog not men
[janette baker] - Very nice idea but I think some shop places would go ok with the suspended coffees or food but if a homeless guy come in to get help they might go name sorry we don't and just keep the money for them selves. I know that's not positive but I'm logical
[irene vries] - making women sound like idiots wrong man does not come with a message that says I'm the wrong one or I'm the right one..
[isaac nzweni] - It is true,for it is a women wh choses a men wh lvs her'' it is to choose between a swan and a crown...i wish them luck
[arturo morando] - Woman are just as guilty. Woman are very smart. They want u to think its pur fault. Don't give in to this idea.
[jennifer lynn baez] - What are the guidelines? You meet a nice guy and then he turns into a desperate fatal attraction. How does one trust or give the benefit of the doubt and be safe. Cause crazy doesn't know about reason or logic. And nowadays men want women to financially support them. What happened? They want sugar Mommas. Where is there dignity? Very unhealthy
[mmasamukelo qm nhlapo] - Wrong guys are good liars, they say all the right things. All the things women want to hear. Who wouldnt be head over heals about a guy who speaks their language in terms of love. U only find out later that the man you fell in love with is fake. Good guys are hard to find because they hide themselves lol....;)
[lisa lecutzey] - Wow...... I kinda agree wth dt hey.... Bt de same applies 2 men
[vishi bhasin] - The true thing thing's that god has made a partner (Life partner) for everyone of us.... so we should just wait untill we find that person and dont fall for someone who doesen't deserve you or else you'll regret....you'll automatically fall in love with the one who's meant to be with you...so just wait untill u find the right guy cuz if u fall in love with the one who's not meant to be your life partner then u'll just regret..nothing else..so just believe in urself and in ur god..
[angela sang] - Are there good guys? Am suprised couz hv never meet any.
[joni parsons] - Yes...I found me a really nice guy and my friend likes the bad boys, then ends up crying cause she let him treat her like crap....sad